Category: Special Episode

FPSE12 – The Princess’ Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, Special Episode 12.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Princess’ Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Nutty Bites.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we find ourselves riding with Sofia Esperon through a fantastic land of blades and bewitchment.

 

The Princess’ Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Sofia Esperon was a Princess of The Hundred Kingdoms, and the mount beneath her was a chestnut stallion at the full height of its power. The horse was hard at its pace, its breath pounding the air as much as its legs beat the turf.

Behind her lay a turmoil of upturned grass and men.

The trouble had begun when the Princess had found herself caught between the mire of the damned and the western spout of the madman’s trough – a river widely reputed to scatter minds and leave behind muttering husks.

Skinner Co.She’d known it to be a poor choice for travel, but she’d deemed the expediency a necessity, and the alternative – a week’s travel down the king’s highway, followed by a diplomatically long celebration in the bridge town of Webling – was beyond consideration.

A day’s ride later, however, the man-sized bats of the malignant swamp were quick to support the argument for taking the safer route.

Their broad wings and bone-shivering screeches were enough to drive back her retinue, but not the princess herself, who’d broken from the pack of nobles – hand-selected by her father – to drive further into the cattails and mud.

Sofia had been in sight of the marsh’s end, some two nights following, when the muck’s guardian, Kark, overtook her.

Kark had little respect for any sovereignty other than his own, and no interest in conversation but the whispering of his black-eyed horde.

Esperon’s captivity amongst the reedy fortress was spent with damp boots and annoyed shouts, both ignored by her jailer. Kark’s focus was far too absorbed in the mystic concoction he’d set about preparing: An elixir whose major component – only to be added at the moment of apex – was an inordinate amount of still-warm blood from a true princess.

The citadel, which had been grown, through occult means, from the white cedars of the bog itself, was frustratingly slow in igniting under Sofia’s flint and tinder, and, by the time she’d thoroughly judged the winds and stoked the flames, the banner flags of a local noble had arrived upon the scene.

The thick limb she’d taken up as her defense was hard pressed to fend off the howling sorcerer’s leathery minions, but it was with some surprise that she found herself landing in the arms of the Duke of Somdak after vaulting the smoldering outside wall of the compound.

He was quick to explain that the smoke had drawn him, and that, in truth, she’d done him a favour, as he’d been tracking the fiend who’d fouled his game grounds’ water supply – a crime easily laid at Kark’s feet. It was the extent of their discussion, as Somdak was eager to conquer the remote bastion, and so Sofia was made to wait with the Duke’s serving eunuch while the men of the column unsheathed their blades.

The Duke’s guard, a half-thousand strong, had little trouble dealing with the blight upon their hunting lands, and, after a brief exchange of arcane lightning and crossbow bolts, the wizard’s head was adorning a pike at the ruin of his gate, and the host moved again to the fen’s edge.

Given their easily rusted chain and plate armour, Somdak and his swords were eager to be beyond the moisture – at least such was their excuse when denying her requests to palaver with the Duke, though she could see him, even at her distance, holding open conference with his flask of stout.

She was left to ride the eunuch’s tired mare.

When they finally encountered solid ground, and the hunting party’s followers – set handsomely amongst their caravans and extravagant campsites – Sofia knew she was once again bound by the tedious politics of court.

Within full sight of his supporters, and at the perfect dramatic moment, the Duke dismounted.

He began loudly, “My dearest Princess -” only to find his mind drawing a blank.

“Damn, my apologies,” he whispered, as he leaned close. “While I recall your title from our first encounter, your father’s name and house escapes me at the moment. Your beauty seems to have wiped it from my mind.”

Boasting bravado, and a copious amount of victory ale upon the march, were more likely amnesiacs by Sofia’s considerations, but her own perception had remained, as ever, clear.

“My lord, you do not recall even my name?” she asked.

The Duke looked to his closest lieutenants for assistance, but the woman’s annoyance at being disregarded had prevented her from disclosing details of her position to any other amongst the company.

“A shameful, admission, true,” said Somdak, with some urgency, “so speak it quickly, and ease my heart’s dismay.”

Standing in the yellow light of the grassy plain, she briefly watched the beseeching Lothario sway under the weight of his well adorned plate, and considered her response – then, with the determination that would one day unite the kingdoms beneath her, Sofia raised high her palms and gave a mighty shove against his iron chestplate.

Before the Duke might be righted, Sofia took to the saddle of his stallion and laid in her heels.

There was no time for idle romance – she had a prince to save.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPSE11 – A Spectacular Failure

Skinner Co.Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode eleven.

Tonight we present, A Spectacular Failure.

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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Phoenix Fraser the Crime Fighting Dog.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we step briefly away from the Kar’Wickian web that is the Flash Pulp universe, and, instead, take a moment to return to a world of superpowered turmoil. (With special thanks to Nuchtchas!)

 

Flash Pulp SE11 – A Spectacular Failure

Characters by Nuchtchas
Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

From atop his ratcheting mountain of gears, Lord Brakmore tightened his grip upon the handle which would rouse his ghastly machinery into life.

On the ground below, a battered Sergeant Spectacular was quickly finding himself with few options.

His entrance had been met by an unexpected barrage of steam-powered missiles – an upgrade to Brakmore’s gothically styled alpine retreat, installed since Specatular’s last intrusion – and, though his Spectacu-jet had taken the brunt of the attack, his parachute descent had given the lord’s clockwork apes an ample opportunity to calculate his landing point.

It was insult immediately preceding injury that they’d greeted him first with the thrown muck of their congealing oil-pans.

“You can kill me, Brakmore,” said Spectacular, pushing his words through clenched teeth, “but someone will avenge me – it may be Ms. Deathenstein, or Fillmore Flapjack, or the Swallow, but I know, in my heart of hearts, that The Integrity Society can not fail.”

“Oh, is that soooooo?” replied Brakmore.

Though the Sergeant understood the necessity of discourse between hero and nemesis, he could not stand how the Victorian dandy so often ended his sentences with upturned inflection, as if he were asking a question.

“Move back my minions, and let our valiant prisoner have some air?” said the waistcoated villain.

It was then that Spectacular recalled the cellphone, which his girlfriend, Alexis, had forced him to purchase and secrete within his battle helmet.

“There is no stopping me?” continued the fop, “With the the gravitatator refocused upon the lunar surface, the tidal actions will begin the excruciating process of – what are you doing?”

The Sergeant had set his thumb to his head wear, only to be caught mid-motion.

“Nothing,” he replied.

“No, seriously, what are you doing? Have you learned to throw your helmet? Or – no, wait you must have a device hidden within?”

“I’m just, uh, sweaty.”

“Minions! Remove his millinery!”

“Sir,” bellowed a wheeled ape, “I believe the archaic term millinery only applies to female headwear, and my scanners do not detect a womanly form within their two-mile maximum.”

Brakmore frowned at his guard captain.

As Spectacular’s chinstrap was roughly undone by metallic simian fingers, his iPhone dropped to the cobblestones – only to be retrieved, and crushed, by one of his robotic captors.

“Now,” said the lead scoundrel, with a white-gloved hand once again resting on the ornate lever, “all will bow down before my -”

There was a gunshot, and Brakmore turned, as if startled. Beneath his vest, his crisp white shirt blossomed with crimson.

Behind him stood a man of medium height, and slightly paunchy build. The embroidered name tag on his overalls read ‘Sal,’ and, in his right fist, he held a Beretta.

“How?” asked the dying lord.

“You think we’re gonna let you walk off with three-hundred mill in security tech and not leave a friggin key hidden under the mat?” replied the newcomer. “All you jerks is the same, buying on credit and sayin’ you’ll cover it with the next job.

“We got six-a you deadbeats on the list at the moment. You figure the boys at head office are gonna ask me to pop Mister Millionaire, or The Gold Plated Maestro? Hell, we’re out at least a cold billion if we drop either of ‘em. No, you got just enough in the game to make a good example.”

Sal holstered his pistol on his crowded workman’s tool-belt. “Anyhow, you didn’t want to get shot, you shoulda paid us.”

Brakmore, at that point, was too dead to hear.

“C’mon,” said the bill collector, to the chromed primates, “override code ‘Big Bananas.’ Let’s go, ya mooks.”

As the verbally reprogrammed gorillas rolled past their fallen former-master, Sergeant Spectacular rose to his feet. Within moments he was alone with the rapidly cooling body of his nemesis.

His sigh echoed throughout the great hall as he picked up his helmet and dusted it off.

It was a long walk home.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPSE10 – The Exchange Student's Short Stay

Skinner Co.Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode ten.

Tonight we present, The Exchange Student’s Short Stay.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE10.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

Tonight’s episode is brought to you by the Bear Crawling odcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, as Skinner Co’s lead narrator has found her throat infected with a terrible burning, we briefly interrupt our current Thomas Blackhall tale to bring you a short urban legend concerning the culture barrier.

To learn more about this urban myth of questionable origin, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE10 – The Exchange Student’s Short Stay

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPSE9 – The Last Night Legend

Skinner Co.Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode nine.

Tonight we present, The Last Night Legend.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE9.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by the Nutty Bites Podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight we bring you a short urban legend concerning young love and the intimacy of technology. To learn more about this urban myth of questionable origin, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE9 – The Last Night Legend

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE8 – Heckuva Job, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode eight.

Flash PulpTonight we present, SE8 – Heckuva Job, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE8.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by treed!.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we present Heckuva Job, a tale of generational conflict which does not quite fit the Flash Pulp universe.

 

Flash Pulp SE8 – Heckuva Job, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The majority of the ten foot by ten foot room was taken up by a round table, which was surfaced in a light brown faux-wood veneer. Randall tugged at his tie, pulled the collar of his shirt away from his sweat-slicked skin, and wished that Warren would deign to loosen his own knot, so that the younger man might be excused such a level of informality as to actually take the bloody thing off.

Randall was not a fan of ties in general.

The crisp necked Warren was standing before the wide whiteboard that occupied the wall opposite the door, a dry-erase marker in his hand.

“We need to be inclusive if we want to get this package passed,” he said.

Randall was also not a fan of the condescension his senior allowed into his voice while discussing their work – the younger man had little respect for authority gained through simply aging.

Warren continued. “You’ve let yourself get too single minded, and now there’s nothing to be done at all about the dog murdering.”

“I don’t believe it counts as homicide if its in the name of population control,” replied Randall. “I think it’s considered balanced against the miserable lives they’d lead as street mutts and whatnot.”

It seemed that Warren paid no heed to his response. Tutting, the codger tapped the capped end of the blue dry-erase against his chin, and stared down the diagram he’d sketched.

“What if we add some rabid beasts at the top of the hill?” he asked.

Being ignored infuriated Randall.

“Why don’t we add a laser, and a bunch of leeches, and a weeping corpse? I’ll tell you why, because none of those things are necessary. Look at this crap – a rock? A hill? What year is this? I say we requisition a bus, a bunch of rope, and a squad of flaming eyed demon children with tinkling laughter, and let’s get this project greenlit.”

Now Warren’s face had also taken on a red tint; his greatest point of annoyance was impudence, of which his junior partner never appeared in short supply.

“You think you can come in here and simply ram this process through with your ridiculous ideals of streamlining? There is a craft – a technique – which one so fresh as yourself ought to consider before providing such cheeky commentary.”

Warren did ease his tie then, but Randall had forgotten the heat, and instead let loose his tongue.

“Fine, but there are also RULES to be considered – perhaps, given your advanced age, your shriveling frontal cortex has misplaced them.” He fought to deliver the line coolly, but his raggedly chewed fingernails left a constellation of bloody crescents across the meaty flesh of his palms.

“In my time here, I have forgotten more about the art than you’ll ever manage to cram into that underdeveloped cranium.”

“Pompous gasbag!”

“Menial jackass!”

Neither side willing to continue the conversation, both shifted their position and located items of interest to stare through; Warren at the whiteboard, Randall at the pockmarked plateau of the table.

The junior of the pair found some satisfaction in spitefully removing his neck-ware. Eventually, however, he could no longer stand the silence.

“Do you ever – have you ever considered that someone may have designed this room as well?” he asked.

“Oh, I can assure you,” Warren replied, “this is certainly my Hell – brainstormed, no doubt, in whatever tiny office-cell they’ve stuffed Hitler himself into.”

Randall’s shoulders slumped.

“Fine,” he said, once again reaching for the black length of silk he’d set down. “So he pushes the rock up the hill and it rolls back down every time. I’ll get the manuals and see if euthanizing dogs for the SPCA tallies as a sin.”

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE7 – The Phantom Suburb, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode seven.

Skinner Co.Tonight we present, SE7 – The Phantom Suburb, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE7.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, in our final urban legend of the summer, we present The Phantom Surburb, a strange tale of misadventure. To learn more about this questionable myth, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE7 – The Phantom Suburb, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE6 – The Pale Child, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode six.

Skinner Co.Tonight we present, SE6 – The Pale Child, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE6.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, instead of our standard tale, we present The Pale Child, a cautionary urban myth of unreliable provenance. Find out more at http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE6 – The Pale Child, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE5 – The Pool Boy, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode five.

Skinner Co.Tonight we present, SE5 – The Pool Boy, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE5.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, in lieu of our usual fiction, we present The Pool Boy, a cautionary tale regarding public waters. To find out more on this aquatic myth, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE5 – The Pool Boy, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE4 – The Final Broadcast, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode four.

Flash PulpTonight we present, SE4 – The Final Broadcast, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE4.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, in lieu of our usual fiction, we present The Final Broadcast, a modern myth of improbable pedigree. To find out more on this terrible transmission, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE4 – The Final Broadcast, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE3 – The Haunted Mixtape, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode three.

Flash PulpTonight we present, The Haunted Mixtape, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE3.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Next week we’ll return with our usual tales of fisticuffs and the occult, but, tonight, we present The Haunted Mixtape, a folk tale of suspect origin. To find out more regarding this supernatural album, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE3 – The Haunted Mixtape, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.