True Crime Tuesday: Pick Your Battles Edition

Today’s True Crime Tuesday is about realizing that you often need to simply keep calm and carry on.

It’s a lesson – as YorkDispatch.com reports – that Karen Harrelson and Gregory Stambaugh did not learn:

As Karen Elaine Harrelson, 48, and Gregory L. Stambaugh, 57, were watching “American Idol” in the basement of Stambaugh’s West Manchester Township home Wednesday, May 15, the two got into an drunken argument over which contestant – Candice Glover or Kree Harrison – should win the season’s title.

Which is hardly surprising, as…

Both Harrelson and Stambaugh told police they been drinking, with Stambaugh adding that Harrelson started drinking beer and tequila at 5 a.m. and that he joined in at noon by drinking beer and a pint of scotch, the report says.

So, how do you decide who should win? Engage in a well reasoned discourse and examination of the individual contestant’s strengths and weaknesses? Rock Paper Scissors? Watch the show?

In this case, they chose knife fight.

So one of them went to the kitchen, got a knife and stabbed the other. Whoever was stabbed first then took hold of the knife and stabbed the other, according to West Manchester Township Police.

Who stabbed first? Unsurprisingly, the pair argue the point.

Ever heard the saying that “no good deed goes unpunished”? 71-year-old William Moody apparently holds the axiom close to his heart, as, according to wxpi.com:

A North Strabane Township man was arrested Friday after police said he got mad that a good Samaritan parked her car in his driveway while helping the victim of a car crash.

The nice thing about starting a fight beside a car crash, however, is that the police are already close at hand to deal with things.

When officers arrived, they said Moody fought with them before being arrested.

How does a man of that age go into battle against the theoretically-well-prepared forces of justice? Guile, apparently.

Moody is also accused of faking a heart attack and hitting a paramedic when the cuffs were removed.

His wits, however, were not his only defense – he also had his teeth, though perhaps not in the way that you might think.

Once at the police station, officers said he again began to fight with law enforcement and threw his false teeth and a watch at them.