Category: Flash Pulp

FP328 – Fastest Gun in the West

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and twenty-eight.

Flash PulpTonight we present Fastest Gun in the West, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by the Final Shot Saloon

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, in an unexpected turn even to us, we take a trip to the dusty plains of the Old West to meet a lad of some renown.

 

Fastest Gun in the West

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

William “Brazos” Barden held a reputation for speed that few could match, but he’d worked for it.

It had started when he was eight. His father had stepped down from their wobble-wheeled cart with a pistol on his belt – a J.H Dance & Brothers black powder Navy revolver – and the younger Barden had fallen in love with the thing before he’d even finished helping unpack the supplies that crowded the wagon’s bed.

It had taken a month of asking, but Barden Senior had eventually been convinced to allow the boy to inspect the weapon unattended. On a warm Saturday morning in June his father had handed across the gun, after a careful inspection to ensure it was unloaded, and the lad had immediately bundled up the leather sling to scurry into the shadows of the barn.

William’s hours were spent drawing and firing, and every spray of imagined bullets knocked down a line of invisible road agents. It was nearly supper when he was finally ordered away to complete a day’s worth of chores in an hour’s time.

Skinner Co.In the following months his Pa found it increasingly convenient to allow the boy access to his fascination instead of laying aside pennies as compensation for the youth’s efforts on the homestead. It was soon the case that, despite dusty wind, or sweltering heat, or even impending storm clouds, William could be found in the shooting gallery of his mind.

Draw, holster, draw, holster, draw – the muscles of his arm became attenuated to little more, and his finger danced upon the trigger to the beat of empty-chambered clicks.

At the age of fourteen William had been wearing the weapon – now loaded and often used to scramble unwanted reptiles – when he’d stumbled across one of the Elmore brothers raising his voice to Father Barden while keeping his hand on his belt knife. It was late, and by the smell of whiskey on their breath Brazos knew they’d likely been at cards previous to his appearance. It seemed to be coming to a head as the lad approached, but, even as the irate guest began to flex his wrist to retrieve his blade, the younger Barden had drawn and planted his barrel against the man’s left nostril.

Wordlessly the pair had marched – one forward, one backwards – to the distant gate that marked the edge of their spread. By the time they’d arrived the drunken Elmore had swung from anger to melancholy, but William barred the entrance behind him nonetheless.

It was in recounting the story that the elder Barden gave his son his nickname, for each telling would conclude on the same statement that the lad had “damn near backed the bastard into the Rio Brazos.”

Still, it wasn’t gumption that made William proud, it was his speed.

At seventeen he collected three Comanches apparently fleeing, long distance, from the cavalry columns that rode the territory in search of their deaths or their surrender.

The trio were armed with weapons that would have been familiar to Grandfather Barden, but if it was good enough for the army, it was good enough for Brazos. Before they could raise their lap-bound flintlocks to scare off what they thought to be a hungry coyote, William’s ego had him standing beside their fire. He did so with his palms empty and his thumbs in his belt. When the youngest of the group, likely a year Will’s junior, moved to stand, the old cap-and-ball revolver found itself the quicker to rise. The single round it fired passed cleanly through the boy’s left shoulder.

Later William would tell himself, and those who’d listen, that it had been his intended target.

In the end it was a lucky result for the Comanches, perhaps, as the elder two captives were able to staunch the bleeding, and a life on the reservation was a small step up from a lonely death in the dusty stretches.

The story of their capture did much to bolster William’s name.

Two years later, when he was largely known simply as Brazos, and he’d traded his father’s seemingly-ancient pistol for a Colt, William encountered Chauncey Miller, another man with a reputation.

Chauncey was well known as a drunk, and a washed up Pinkerton, and it was said around most railyard card games that he might have once held the title of fastest draw in the Republic. He still wore a weapon at his hip, but he often spoke loudly about how rarely he’d used it since his supposed retirement. On such occasions his closest friends would raise a questioning brow, though they declined to argue the point.

Miller hadn’t been considering his notoriety as man of pacifism or war when he’d demanded payment from Brazos, he’d been solely interested in the whiskey the victory would afford him. His firm-chinned step towards William was meant as intimidation, not invitation, but Barden had become proficient with just one solution.

He’d fired twice before Chauncey had even cleared his leather, and the Virginian’s quadruply pierced hat was tumbling to the ground with a well-ventilated peak by the time the older man’s carefully oiled Peacemaker was brought level.

Brazos didn’t have the chance to make a third shot.

For three-tenths of a glorious second he’d been the fastest gun in the West – it was only through misfortune that he’d happened, that very day, to run into the man who remained the most accurate in that same territory.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPGE19 – M Day by David "Doc Blue" Wendt

Welcome to Flash Pulp Guestisode nineteen.

Flash PulpTonight we present M Day by David “Doc Blue” Wendt, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Mob

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight we present a very special Doc Azrael-related Guest-isode. Huge thanks, Doc Blue!

 

M Day by David “Doc Blue” Wendt

Written by David “Doc Blue” Wendt
Narration by David “Doc Blue” Wendt
Art and opening intro by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

Skinner Co.

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Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FC88 – The Chinese Connection

FC88 - The Chinese Connection
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Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 88.

Prepare yourself for: Road yogurt, Polaski’s exit, lion meat tacos, The Avengers: The Sitcom, Zombicide, and Of the Old School.

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Huge thanks to:

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    Mailbag:

  • Send your comments to comments@flashpulp.com!
  • Don’t forget to send in your Sunday undertakings!
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    Backroom Plots:

  • FP327 – Of the Old School
  • [youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6tcs0_NAUI”]

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    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

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    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, or email us text/mp3s to comments@flashpulp.com.

    FlashCast is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

FP327 – Of the Old School

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and twenty-seven.

Flash PulpTonight we present Of the Old School, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by the Parsecs!

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we present a tale of the generation gap, creeping terror, and childish misadventure.

 

Of the Old School

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

She didn’t enjoy talking to people – especially folks she didn’t know – but Octavia Archer was determined to offload some Thin Mints.

Sometimes that required patience.

Flash Pulp Horror Podcast“I’m of the old school,” Mrs. Hemming, her current prospective-customer, was saying through a thin-lipped mouth, “but it strikes me that a girl your age shouldn’t be out running around by herself.”

The girl thought, “should I be off learning to cook instead?” but said nothing.

The pair were standing in the front hall of a Victorian-style house that smelled of dust, with the scout holding a bag full of cookies and the old woman grasping two boxes of the sweets while peering into a velvet change purse.

Octavia had often heard urban legends, mostly ghost stories, about the residence, but the girl’s mother had taught her to know that no one could afford such a palace without having some money, even if the place did appear to be collapsing in slow motion.

As the young Archer was preparing to clear her throat in impatience, a train entered the hall. Its approach came in jerky inches, and its choice of direction looked to be largely decided by the coincidence of its orientation after impacting on the floral print of the opposite wall.

“Is that a robot?” asked Octavia.

It moved like a cheap Christmas present her little brother would love, but the two foot high and three foot long engine was made of wood and brass ornamentation. It was painted in a mint green, with gold accents, and its domes and chimney were entwined in an intricate pattern of carved loops. While the thing’s rubber wheels rolled across the oak floor she heard a tick-tick-tick which put her immediately in mind of the baseball cards she sometimes saw in kids’ bike’s spokes.

“Not as you’re used to,” responded Hemming, “My toys were built using ancient techniques, not electricity. As you can see, there’s no plastic involved. Except for his rollers, there’s nothing involved that my mother couldn’t have accomplished in her day.”

At the sound of her voice, the locomotive began a wide turn, seeking its builder.

“There’s also a whistle that I wrought with my own hands, but he never uses it.”

“Huh,” said Octavia. “I’ve got change for a twenty if that’s all you can find.”

Hemming turned from her creation to the girl. Her lips flattened and her nose twitched, but her eyes sparkled.

“Most children have forgotten how to be polite in the last two decades,” said the woman. “Nevermind, though: Come with me, I’ve got a jar with some extra paper money in the basement, but I’m afraid I’ll need you to grab it for me – I’m not as nimble as I was.”

Without waiting for an answer, she departed. It was the sort of house that swallowed noise, and, after turning a corner, the tinkerer seemed to have been absorbed by the rotting walls.

“Tick, tick, tick,” said the approaching train.

Octavia followed.

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The basement appeared to have been fully furnished once, but the side rooms that the youth passed on her way to her supposed payment were now filled with carpentry tools, work benches, and pencil-scrawled diagrams.

Some of the spaces contained more automatons: A half-cabinet/half-man construction whose aimlessly swinging arms looked, to Octavia, like a Rock’em-Sock’em Robot without a partner; a crudely-carved dog that crawled with the same painful inching as the train above, but whose spindly unmoving legs the Girl Scout decidedly did not like; and a series of three boxes that she thought of as moving sculptures – a waving flower, a writhing snake, and a woman’s arm.

It was the limb that made the girl stop. The flower looked to be largely made of felt, and the snake was built from a series of overlapping cloth rings that gave the thing cartoonish scales. The arm, however, was slender, smooth, and absolutely realistic.

Octavia did the math, decided she could simply cover the two missing boxes out of her own allowance, and began to reverse.

“Thank you, thank you, you can pay me later,” she announced, but her hostess had disappeared into yet another chamber filled with tools.

Uninterested in waiting for her return, the girl ignored the pathetic imitation of a mutt that had begun to follow as she made her way to the stairs.

From within her increasingly distant room, Hemming was saying, “I’m of the old school. Survival skills were important then. You youth, you’re all too couch-bound to run, too used to the safety of your carefully padded existences to recognize danger.”

The girl was nearly to the bannister when the train rolled its last. Octavia had left the door at the top open, and as the machine’s cow catcher cleared the first step, it let fly with its whistle. It’s flight was not long, nor graceful, and its descent was largely spent bouncing end-over-end with increasing momentum.

It stopped when it came up against the stone and mortar wall, but not until its oak frame had split and its brass bells had scattered.

Within the wreckage was also the ruin of a man. His left arm had been chipped away, as with a chisel, and his right had been bound tightly to his chest so long ago that his body had grown around the leather and chrome of the belt. Beside him lay the panel that had made up the bottom of his conveyance, and the girl noted a small window that she assumed enabled him to claw at the floor. It was his sole form of transportation, for, where his legs ought to have been, he had only flailing stumps topped in pink scar tissue.

He attempted to say something to Octavia as he died, but his tongueless mouth summoned just whistles and clicks.

“I think he was trying to warn you, but he stopped you instead,” Hemming said into the girl’s right ear.

Octavia did not always agree with her mother, but she knew one thing about the woman: She was of the new school, and she had raised her daughter to be so as well.

The pepper spray cleared the girl’s pocket before her intended attacker could raise her axe from her shoulder, and the modern science of desmethyldihydrocapsaicin flooded the woman’s eyes and nose.

In the time it took to leap the train wreck and sprint out the front door, Octavia had already begun to shout directions to the 911 operator on the other end of her cell phone.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP326 – Ruby Departed: What Happened at the Super 8

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and twenty-six.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: What Happened at the Super 8, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Aboard the Knight Bus

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby, our zombie-slaying heroine, finds herself reading a harrowing tale of silent survival amongst the roaming corpses.

 

Ruby Departed: What Happened at the Super 8

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Departed

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPGE18 – Coffin: The Cat Came Back by Opopanax

Welcome to Flash Pulp Guestisode eighteen.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: The Cat Came Back by Opopanax, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by wishing Jessica May a happy birthday over in The Mob

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, due to wonderful complications related to Jessica May’s birthday, we will be pushing back the intended return of Ruby till Monday. Instead, we present a tale of Coffin and Bunny – by Opop!

 

Coffin: The Cat Came Back by Opopanax

Written by Opopanax
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

Coffin

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Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPGE17 – HomeSick by John Donahue

Welcome to Flash Pulp Guestisode seventeen.

Flash PulpTonight we present HomeSick by John Donahue, Part 1 of 1
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(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Mob

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight Lazarus Caine, lone Defender charged with holding back the night, is persuaded to assist a concerned parent.

 

HomeSick by John Donahue

Written by John Donahue
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

Skinner Co.

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Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP325 – Ruby Departed: A Pin Drop

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and twenty-five.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: A Pin Drop, Part 1 of 1
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(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Aboard the Knight Bus

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight our heroine, Ruby, encounters two oddly unresponsive young boys amongst the throngs of the shambling undead.

 

Ruby Departed: A Pin Drop

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Departed

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP324 – Mulligan Smith in From Beyond

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and twenty-four.

Flash PulpTonight we present Mulligan Smith in From Beyond, Part 1 of 1
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(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Aboard the Knight Bus

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight we present a tale in which Mulligan Smith, private investigator, stumbles into an unlikely conversation with the dead.

 

Mulligan Smith in From Beyond

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

They’d left the sliding door open, and, from somewhere in the sprawl of townhouses and bungalows beyond the balcony, the smell of burgers cooking on an open grill had invaded the apartment. The day-long breeze that seemed to be rolling the sun slowly over the horizon also spared the occasional gust strong enough to toss the white curtains into a haze of lace, and every surge carried the smell of roasting meat further into the silent residence.

The occupants, Trish Adams, a thirty-four-year-old customer service representative for American Airlines, and Scott Clark, a thirty-eight-year-old mechanic and her live-in boyfriend, were leaning heavily over the living room’s broad glass-topped table. The small zen garden that normally filled the surface had been moved to the kitchen counter, as had a collection of guitar magazines and the vintage bottle containing essential oils and diffuser sticks. Now the space was occupied by only a tablet, and the display’s glow was all that stood against the shadows that had begun to creep from underneath the retro-styled couch and its matching chaise lounge.

The couple were not using the furniture, however.

Like eager teens they’d shuffled up to the expanse on their knees, their socked toes digging into the Kashmir rug and their trembling fingers only brushing the screen.

They had used the same approach on each of their previous spirit raisings.

The app that acted as their medium was a simple one: A brown rectangle filled from left-to-right with the alphabet, yes/no options, and, in the bottom corners, indicators for “hello” and “goodbye.” In the center, beneath the pair’s unguided hands, a representation of a planchette wiggled across the digital Ouija board.

Their breath was shallow and their eyes were locked on the device. On the common grass below the balcony, a pair of dogs began a loud and sharp shouting match, and the pointer stopped, aimed at the faux-wood background.

Scott whispered, “do you think -,” but his jaw locked at the largely expected knock.

Mulligan SmithWith popping knees, he stood and answered. Behind the chain-locked front door stood a thin-faced man in a black hoodie.

“There was this old gent who held the entrance for me, so I didn’t ring up. I thought it’d be rude to turn him down, he had to brace himself against his cane to keep from being pushed over.” It was as close to a greeting as Mulligan offered, but it was enough to carry him into the seance area.

Trish remained in her stooped stance.

“Haven’t learned your lesson yet, huh?” inquired the private investigator. He worked hard to keep the smirk out of his voice, but failed.

The customer service rep gave a noncommittal smile, saying, “it was Scott’s suggestion.”

“Oh, bullshit, you were just as curious as I was,” said her boyfriend, as he reached for the dimmer switch on the plum coloured wall.

The room brightened, and Smith asked, “- and what did the phantoms say? No, wait – don’t tell me, I’ll tell you.

“For my first trick, however, I will reveal secrets to amaze and astound: For example, the three grand you told me you sent to the supposed ‘Urban Scholarship Federation’, of Dee-troit, wasn’t the only ‘donation’ you made, was it?”

Trish’s gaze lingered on the now-dark tablet as she spoke. “So I guess you’re sure now that the Urban Scholarship Federation wasn’t a real thing?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. The fact that they were asking you to wire transfer them cash via Western Union should have been a hint,” replied Mulligan, “but that’s not what I asked.”

“Nevermind, though, with my newfound psychic detective powers I’ll answer for you. You sent out two other sums – they were much smaller, and to private individuals, so you didn’t mention them in the hopes of not looking like morons for being burned three times before realizing it.

“At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. It’s better than the incredulous alternative.

”Now, you might think that I just dug up some receipts, or that I’ve peeked into your bank accounts, so let me tell you about a dead boy named Martin, a poor lad of fourteen who died of malnutrition because he kept secretly giving his already-meager supper away to his little brothers. Those unlucky kids, all seven of them living in that tiny house – and the shame of their mother not even noticing his slow starvation as she drank herself through a brewery’s worth of Milwaukee’s Best.”

Scott’s jaw had gone slack, leaving Trish to ask the question, “you – you found Martin’s family?”

Smith blinked. He exhaled. He blinked again.

“You really still believe?” he asked.

“No – I mean, you obviously don’t,” she replied, “but they knew so much about us! They knew about Uncle Kenneth’s cancer, our birthdays – Martin himself told us he’d talked to my Grampy on the other side!”

Mulligan shrugged. “You told them those things yourself, the moment you accepted the app’s request to access your social network data.

“Your favourite apparition, Martin, is only a ghost in the machine. He never really existed, and neither did any of the other poltergeists you were supposedly chatting with – and who all seemed to have mysterious money problems back in the living world.

“For my last trick, I’ll tell you what the Ouija was whispering to you just before I came in: Absolutely nothing, unless you were psyching yourself out. I know this because I was on hand yesterday when the police visited the Motor City college kids who wrote the spirit board program. My gas mileage ain’t going to be cheap, either.

“They were the ones pretending to be Martin and the rest.

“The pseudo-spooks were pretty careful about who they used their back door on – they apparently just wanted decent meals and tuition, not to be greedy – but you weren’t alone in being suckered.

“Still, I, uh, hate to say it, but there isn’t a ghost of a chance of you getting your cash back.”

Scott winced, and Mulligan told him, “frankly, it was a long drive back and I had time to think of a hundred more of those. I can keep going for hours before I have to give up the ghost, I mean, unless you want to just pay me.” The detective pulled a printed invoice from his pocket as he spoke.

Finally standing, Trish made for the front hall – and her cheque book.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FC87 – Just the Tibb

FC87 - Just the Tibb
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Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 87.

Prepare yourself for: A variety of illegal meats, book banning, space movies, Walk The Fire, proactive Dracula, and Mulligan Smith.

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Huge thanks to:

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[youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54tm8f6VPD8″]

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