Category: Flash Pulp

FC68 – Dog Days

FC68 - Dog Days
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast068.mp3](Download/iTunes/RSS)

Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 68.

Prepare yourself for Neuromancer: The Movie, a Japanese robot bar, Orwell on trampires, braised rat, humanzees, and Identification.

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Huge thanks to:

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Pulp-ular Press:

[youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kJF7hRmKE0″]

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Mail Bag:

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Backroom Plots

  • FPGE10 – Leap Year: a Blackhall Tale, by Threedayfish
  •  

    * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, or email us text/mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    FPGE10 – Leap Year: a Blackhall Tale, by Threedayfish

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, Guest-isode 10.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Leap Year: a Blackhall Tale, by Threedayfish

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpGuestisode010.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by The New Mob.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Unfortunately, due to a major hardware failure at Skinner Co. headquarters, we will be unable to provide you with tonight’s scheduled Ruby Departed episode. Instead, with many thanks to the always listening Threedayfish, we present a tale of unnatural aging.

     

    Leap Year: a Blackhall Tale, by Threedayfish

    Written by Threedayfish
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    BlackhallBlackhall was sitting on a chair at an inn that had recently been partially rebuilt due to a storm a month or so ago. The renovations were obvious from the differing hues of the wood used to restore what was once lost. It was here that the master frontiersman listened to the troubles of a local farmer who went by Joeseph. The man was large and tan, and may have appeared intimidating if it weren’t for the air of gentleness about him. He had a father’s face, Blackhall thought. Outside another vicious downpour raged again, to the unease of the owner, and had left many of the patrons, Blackhall and the stranger included, unwilling occupants of the half new establishment. Over the sounds of the wind and rain, the man named Joseph relayed his woes:

    “I’ve heard much about you master Blackhall. They say you deal in things unnatural. I know not your price, but I would ask your help whatever the cost. It is my daughter Sophia. She is the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen but she is cursed. She was born on a leap day, and she does not seem to age, but every four years. She’s been on this earth for six years, nearly seven years, but hardly looks older than one. She has the faculties of any her age, but not the physical stature. If it is in your power, I would have you lift this malediction on her growth. As a father, I would do anything to care for my daughter, but as a man in this wild part of the world, I cannot hope to protect her at the rate she is developing. I’m not sure I can even hope to live to see her wedded”.

    Blackhall sipped at the ale which had been purchased by the farmer to make their acquaintance. “Are you a widower?” he asked

    “Aye, my beloved Delilah died giving birth to my daughter. She had been growing weaker by the final stages of her pregnancy, and it was a harsh winter. It was a close thing for Sophie, when she departed her mother’s womb, it was believed she was a stillborn. She did not appear to be breathing and the midwife swore that no pulse could be found. However, I got her to cry after I pinched her, perhaps a bit too hard. I didn’t want to lose my child and my wife in the same day so that is why I caused her discomfort. I tell you, her wails were like a chorus of angels to me”

    As the farmer spoke, he noted a strange stillness in the frontiersman. Finally, Blackhall spoke “Where is Sophia now?”

    “She is on the farm with her brothers. My oldest is one-and-twenty and is responsible enough that I am not overly worried. I curse this tempest all the same. I had hoped to bring her back a present. Her birthday is either today or tomorrow. It’s hard to say seeing as how—” the farmer cut himself short as Blackhall suddenly stood.

    “We must go, storm or no. I believe you may have more troubles on your hands than an underdeveloped daughter ” The going was not easy. While the farmer knew a cut through the woods where the foliage might protect them from the worst of the rain, the wind still made falling limbs a hazard and with only a lamp to guide them through the darkness, their footing was often treacherous. The father also took no comfort in Blackhall’s refusal to share his suspicions with him. Eventually, and with many cuts and scratches, they reached the farm. While unseasonably warm, it was winter, and so the fields were bare and the log cabin clearly visible, it’s windows shone with dim candlelight. Blackhall began to quickly make for the shelter, leaving the father to play catch up. He was the first to enter, and by the time the farmer arrived he could hear the sobs and Blackhall’s voice asking

    “Where is she?”

    No audible answer was given, but Joeseph heard the sound of a sword being drawn and of rapid feet on stairs. Afraid, he gave pursuit passing by his crying son who sat in a corner away from the stairs. Blackhall had already entered Sophia’s room when the man was only halfway up the steps, but before the he could beg Blackhall to spare his daughter, he saw the form of the frontiersman being flung from the room accompanied by a terrible scream.

    “He’s mine!” screeched a voice that seemed more animal than human. Out from Sophia’s room stepped a girl of at least sixteen years. The farmer couldn’t believe it. The girl was the spitting image of his late wife Delilah on their wedding day. Beautiful, except she had a single freckle just behind her left eye, just like his darling Sophia.

    “Sophia?”

    The young woman, turned to look at him. Where there was hatred suddenly turned alarmed, even afraid.

    “Father…I thought…the storm—” suddenly a bloody blade erupted from the girl’s chest where her heart was. The spray of red that hit Joseph was scalding hot and caused blisters wherever it landed. The girl shrieked and writhed, gripping at the sabre in a vain attempt at survival. The steel vanished as quickly as it had appeared, and the beauty died before she hit the ground. Staring in horror and confusion at the corpse of the young woman who appeared to have replaced his infant daughter, Joeseph looked up to see his oldest son wielding a bloody hay knife.

    “I’m sorry” he said, tears in his eyes “She—she was not human father. We—I—she made me lie with her” Joseph was speechless and uncomprehending, “She came to me with the storm and asked me to follow her. I felt my will somehow desert me, for I had chores to do with the weather drawing near. John had wanted something, but she whispered in his ear and he ran away, frightened by whatever she said,” the trembling son indicated the young boy who was sobbing downstairs “Then we were in her room. I know not why I felt so compelled to—to…” the young man seemed incapable of continuing and sank to his knees. After young John was put to bed with Abraham, the eldest by his bedside at John’s insistence, Blackhall explained to Joseph what Abraham was too ashamed to by his hearth.

    “From what I’ve heard and seen this night, I believe that your wife was plagued by an incubus. It may even be that her growing weakness and death was due to the demon’s nightly visits. Sophia was not your daughter, but a cambion. A half demon spawned from the union of an incubus and a human mother. It takes seven years for a cambion to mature. Her curse was not due to her untimely birth on leap day, but her parentage that caused her apparent lack of aging. Once matured, her demonic appetites and nature came to be and she enchanted your firstborn into bedding her. I am truly sorry for what you and your sons have suffered tonight.”

    Blackhall waited for a response, but the man who sat before him seemed broken. Finally Joseph said “I owe Midge, our midwife, an apology. I was unkind to her on the day of Sophia’s birth, but it seems that she had the right of it. I should have buried that curse seven years ago. Go now sorcerer. This has been a black day for me and my sons, and I can’t hold back this feeling that you are to blame, unjust as that may be. Be gone so I may mourn” Blackhall saw that the gentleness in the father’s face was replaced by a sorrow that may never heal, and without a word departed, never to darken the farmer’s doorstep again.

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FC67 – Candy Shanks

    FC67 - Candy Shanks
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast067.mp3](Download/iTunes/RSS)

    Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 67.

    Prepare yourself for: Cannibal puppeteers, the AsimOff’s results, lab breeches, pirate gore, and Sofia Esperon.

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    Huge thanks to:

    * * *

    Pulp-ular Press:

    * * *

    Mail Bag:

    * * *

    Backroom Plots

  • SE13 – Another Rescue, Part 1 of 1
  • FP277 – Identification, Part 1 of 1
  •  

    * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, or email us text/mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    FP277 – Identification, Part 1 of 1

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-seven.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Identification, Part 1 of 1

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp277.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Strangely Literal.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, we tell a chilling tale regarding a risky child in a neighbourhood of constant hazard.

     

    Identification

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    ChillerNathaniel Minor had been born with a curious inability to identify danger.

    On a September Monday, at the age of ten, Nathaniel had selected his blue and white striped shirt – his favourite, and thus the first be worn after a weekend’s laundry – folded it neatly on his dresser, then tested the temperature by walking out onto the back deck in nothing more than the underpants he’d slept in.

    An early-autumn chill drove him back inside, and into a warm pair of jogging pants.

    After devouring a bowl of lucky charms, and planting a kiss on his Mother’s distracted cheek,
    he was ready to march the three blocks to school.

    As he closed the door behind him, Mrs. Minor provided her usual instructions. “Head straight there, no talking to strangers, no goofing around. Be good, love you, Nate. Bye.”

    His initial stop came at the midpoint of the chain-link fence that marked the border between the sidewalk and the row of townhouses that marched alongside it.

    He began digging through his bright yellow knapsack, and, as he did so, a burly Labrador Retriever he called Mumphrey came bolting through the sliding patio door of the nearest rental unit. Though the animal’s speed made it tough to identify why he thought so, Nathaniel was left with the impression that his visitor was in even more ragged a condition than usual.

    Minor had decided to befriend the mutt earlier that summer, when he’d watched the red-brown canine step onto the small porch that lead to the backyard. There was something to the way the dog stood testing the air that reminded Nathaniel of himself, and he’d spent fifteen minutes in idle conversation with his new chum before settling on the name.

    The child had also concluded that Mumphrey’s owners must sleep late, as the Lab seemed in constant need of food when he strolled by – why else would the four-legged beast leap against the fence while barking and generally causing a ruckus?

    As he’d done every morning since, the boy retrieved the single slice of bologna from his sandwich, and, careful not to dirty his hand with mayo, he tossed it over the metal links.

    Mumphrey ceased his intemperate barking to gobble down the processed meat, then he immediately returned to his assault on the barrier. Nathaniel, however, had already moved on.

    At the corner the youth encountered Tobias Swanson, his constant companion since an incident the summer previous, in which the slightly older boy had pulled a sputtering Nate from too-deep water at the local beach.

    Their conversation began as it had ended the afternoon previous, when they’d parted on the same spot.

    “Maybe you’re right about absorbing his atomic breath,” said Tobias, “but King Kong would still be defeated by Godzilla’s physical attacks. He’s got, like, blades on his back and a huge biting mouth. What can King Kong do? Throw his own poo?”

    Nathaniel shrugged. He did not have his friend’s love of giant monster films, but he always did his best to carry his part of the conversation.

    “Kong is a great climber. He’d get up on top of a building and start chucking people and antennas and stuff.”

    “Being hit in the nose by a guy in a business suit isn’t exactly going to stop Godzilla,” replied Tobias.

    The debate continued for the rest of the long block, until they encountered a schoolmate known largely as Bull.

    “You ladies headed to school?” he asked.

    “Aren’t you?” asked Nathaniel.

    “Nuh-uh, I’m sick. Mom called and told ‘em – but you ain’t going today either.”

    The day before the start of classes, while loitering at the McKinley Playground, Bull had convinced the fearless boy to climb a massive elm. Tobias had been late in returning from his piano lessons, and, by the time he’d arrived, it had been necessary to scale the tree to its midpoint just to have his shouts of “come down!” be heard.

    As Nathaniel finally dropped the last few feet to the ground, he’d found his friend weeping anxious tears. It was the sight of his worry that had turned Bull into an enemy of both.

    When news of the incident had reached Mrs. Minor over a soothing pair of chocolate milks, she’d been quick to inform her son he was out of the tree climbing business, as well as that of talking to Bull.

    To her son her word was law – and it was only this notion that had kept him safe against his peculiar defect.

    “Great,” said Nathaniel, as he attempted to edge around his antagonist, “you enjoy hanging out with your mom. We’ve gotta go.”

    The problem, of course, was that the apparent act of courage had simply goaded the ruffian further.

    “No, I don’t think you heard me, you’re -”

    Tobias put his arm out in an attempt to motion the obstruction aside, and Bull responded with his fist.

    For a moment Nathaniel stood still, not quite sure how to react – then he caught the split in his comrade’s lip.

    Although the violence had baffled him, blood was something his mother had ruled on: Blood meant finding an adult, or at least a phone, as quickly as possible.

    He bolted for home.

    “Hell no, you ain’t tellin’,” said Bull, as he began to follow.

    The accidental daredevil’s speed was also his downfall. A full tilt run had left him with a cramp, and, as he neared Mumphrey’s home, he was forced to slow.

    It was the sight of the half-open door, and the memory of his friend’s red chin, that compelled Nathaniel to clamber onto the chain link.

    Close up the maroon vertical blinds he’d seen so often from the road were filthy, and the smell wafting from the interior reminded the schoolboy of his mother’s cooking on liver and onion night.

    “I need to use your phone, my friend is bleeding,” Nathaniel told the shadows beyond the slats.

    When he received no reply, he pushed inside, unaware of Bull jumping the fence behind him.

    The attempted-rescuer entered the galley kitchen as the young thug slipped into the living room. The unit’s cooking space was nothing more than an L-shaped counter and a single-seated white-topped table, but there was a second exit, at the far end, which opened onto the front hallway. Much to Nathaniel’s disappointment, there was no phone on the wall to match the one hung in his own home, so he turned a quick eye over the greasy wallpaper and heavily scratched cupboard doors, then moved on to the opposite hall.

    As he stepped through, Bull’s Nikes touched down on the dirt-covered linoleum.

    Oblivious to the trail of mud which stained the stairs, Nathaniel decided to expand his search to the upper floor.

    “Mumphrey?” he asked, as he climbed, but still he received no response.

    He found a phone, finally, in the master bedroom. It stood on a small black nightstand beside the decaying carcass of its owner.

    The room had been decorated in a variety of unicorn posters, a theme broken only by the black slab of television that had been hung alongside them. What lingered of their owner – a once rotund woman of forty – lay spread across the shimmering moonlight scene of her bedspread.

    In many places her remains were little more than bones, as the Labrador, having emptied his dish a month previous, could not afford to be sentimental regarding his meals.

    “That’s pretty gross,” Nathaniel said aloud.

    It was then that Bull rushed the doorway – but, before he might tackle his target, his feet seemed to meet a terrible resistance at what his mind was observing.

    He screamed.

    The noise was enough to raise Mumphrey, who’d been dreaming of light and colour and meat in the coolest corner of its den, the bath tub.

    The dog awoke hungry.

    It paused briefly at its feeding room, to snort Nate’s mix of running sweat and deodorant, then it moved on.

    Bull was nearly to the ground floor by the time the canine had picked up his urine-tainted scent, but, nonetheless, it was a tight race to the fence.

    Still inside, Nathaniel closed the bedroom door against the noise, and, with a steady hand, dialed home.

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FPSE13 – Another Rescue

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, Special Episode 13.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Another Rescue, Part 1 of 1

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE13.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Strangely Literal.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight we return to The Hundred Kingdoms, and the perils that lie within its fantastic borders.

     

    Another Rescue

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    In the depths of the Ogre King’s inkiest cave, Duchess Lilian Mildred was weighing the stench that filled her nostrils against the idea of enraging her guards to the point of shortening her life – and thus her current captivity.

    It was not a serious thought, but her imprisonment amongst the brute lords had been nothing if not dull, and her mind had begun to wander.

    She’d stood in the cell some twenty hours, with arms pulled high by hanging chains affixed to the rock wall.

    Skinner Co.Despite the ache in her limbs, she considered the accommodations melodrama implemented only to heighten the price of ransom once a remote seer was engaged to determine the veracity of her captors’ demands.

    This was a frustration, as her uncle, Archduke Mildred, was something of a miser, and would no doubt hold the debt against her till she repaid it or died.

    She had not intended to have her caravan hijacked – there was no other route home from the capital but the Queen’s highway, and there was no choice but to take it when the court season had ended. Her party had been no different in size or composure than the Archduke’s own daughter’s, though she’d made her way north to tour instead of heading directly to her father’s keep.

    Lilian sighed at her fate, but it simply forced her to draw in another lungful of her watchers’ reek.

    The tedium ceased, however, when another of the twisted-faced ruffians approached. This one was little more than a youth, and, though she could not translate his grunts, her two ripe guardians departed briskly at his words.

    Within moments, the sounds of bragging and clashing steel could be heard from the corridor beyond.

    A man appeared, leading a band of stout-armed warriors. The newcomer wore a patch over one eye, and his hair swept back in a tight top knot. The chain-mail across his belly had been breached, but his mouth carried a wolfish grin.

    His blade dripped with the tale of his handiwork.

    “Duchess?” he asked.

    “Yes,” she replied. “The Archduke sent you?”

    She rattled her chains gently as she spoke, with the notion that her saviour might free her as he explained – his reply was, “not quite.”

    She could see he had the key in his hand, and yet he stalled.

    It’s meaning was clear to the bound woman: Whoever had financed her rescue – whoever would garner the praise for her heroic recovery – would only enter once the area was proven safe.

    As she waited, she set herself to hoping that the impending Prince, or Duke, or – Gods forbid – Merchant Lord was seeking reputation and renown, and was not of an appropriate age for marriage. The Duchess had come by her title by inheritance, and, regardless of her recent waylaying, she looked forward to wearing away some of its shine before she was forced to carry its full weight behind the tall stone walls of Baldenkirk, her home.

    Finally, a thin-faced boy in velvet garments entered the room. It was obvious he made some attempt to mute his trumpet’s note, but, in the tight space, its sounding still left a ringing in Lilian’s ears.

    It was to this accompaniment that Prince Cornelius Galen filled her view. He now held the cuffs’ key in his palm.

    “Milady,” he said, “even under the duress of this terrible calamity, you are striking.”

    Cornelius was but one of the thousand younglings that stood within the shadow of the crown, and Lillian’s few interactions with his house had left her cold – and yet she knew that, even now, he likely had minstrels, out of sight, composing odes regarding the perils he’d faced to win her.

    It would be her own people who would pay highest coin for the swollen tales of his gallantry, and she knew the songs would likely arrive at her borders before she did. She would have to weight the purses of many crooners if she hoped to counteract his nuptial narrative.

    “It seems your uncle has claimed his coffers are bare,” continued the prince, “but, do not fear, your peasants have gathered quite a bounty in their temple bowls.

    “That said, I’m not here for the silver – I hope to collect a greater reward.”

    Lilian could not deny her gratitude at the rescue, and it was this, and the fact that she remained chained, that kept her tongue steady.

    “Truly this is too rough a place to speak of love, milord, “ she replied.

    He hadn’t spoken of any such thing, of course, but she was released from the wall nonetheless.

    The Prince and Duchess’ ascent was a stroll behind a threshing screen of steel, as the hired arms made short work of any rotund brute who was sleepy-eyed enough to stumble from the burrows that branched from the shaft’s main column.

    A second force of mercenaries and balladeers greeted them at the tunnel’s mouth while scanning the surrounding hills and fingering the tools of their occupation.

    All were soon mounted, but the ride was a harried one.

    The Ogre King had hastily mustered his troops, and their legs held fury enough to them keep apace with the fleeing stallions.

    It became plain that combat was imminent by the time they made Cannibal’s Hollow, a mountainous protrusion at the bottom of a wide rimmed valley that was known largely for its desolation.

    As Lilian climbed the path to the bottleneck that marked their only chance of organizing a defense, she took some solace in the knowledge that a premature death would at least save her from a premature marriage.

    Dying a martyr would also make for much better songs.

    The patch-wearing captain strode the line, slapping shoulders and lifting spirits, as Lilian and her unwanted Prince watched from a nook above. Their perch also gave them a clear view of the approaching horde, although she found their battle chants more than sufficient warning.

    She guessed them at ten leagues – then five. Then two.

    Her husband-to-be’s voice became like sugar, and the duchess soon realized he sought a kiss to lessen his sense of peril. She’d bussed worse, and yet she withheld her lips with indignation – her greatest danger in her cell had been her escort’s stench.

    “I am pleased, at least, that my last sight shall be of you,” he said.

    Wincing, she replied, “ease your words, it’s more likely we’ll both be soon held against ransom.”

    He coughed. “Well, I might, but your uncle has already turned down the offer, as I’ve mentioned. Still, I will stand and fight for you – should it be necessary.”

    “Oh, certainly not – the cost would be too high.” Lilian’s gaze held on the writhing mass of clubs and poorly concealed flesh. They were no further than a half-league.

    Cornelius smiled. “Perhaps you might make some down payment then? With an embrace?”

    His brazen phrases were cut short, however, by the shadows of a hundred kites breaking over the vista’s edge: They were frames of the Royal Contrivers, the Queen’s engineers.

    Under their gliding shade came on a host so immense it stretched the horizon, and at its lead cantered the warhorse Gwelmere, who had once pulled straight the crooked tower of the sorcerer Al’Min.

    On the beast’s back rode the woman who’d broken him: Sofia Esperon, Queen of the Hundred Kingdoms.

    Though not but the fury in her eyes was visible behind her plate and mail, it was obvious she was displeased.

    With a raise of her onrushing hand, the wicker and canvas structures let loose from the marching strings that made up their only earthly bonds, and, catching the wind, their creaking and pondering passage carried them into the ranks of the surging ogres.

    Each impact delivered an explosive wrath.

    Holding high her ebony spear, the queen summoned ten thousand arrows, then ten thousand more.

    Behind her, the roar of the Royal Guard’s war-bears was enough to drown the wild drums and chorus, which had now shifted to a rhythm of retreat.

    As the savage multitude moved up, and beyond, the distant crest, Sofia Esperon did not follow.

    Instead, she turned her attention to the prince, and his supposed prize.

    Removing her helm, the monarch strode through the untested line of hired swordsman.

    For the first time that day, Lilian felt true relief.

    Cornelius only smiled and waved at his regent.

    Sofia Esperon’s voice easily cut the distance to their airy post, and the hired singers and sword-arms averted their smirks to avoid risking their pay.

    “Oh,” said the queen, “quite pleased that you’re out of danger, are you?”

    The prince ceased his greeting.

    “Has he made overtures?” Sofia asked the former prisoner.

    Lilian nodded.

    “I did not come,” continued Esperon, “to deal with those foul-mouthed gluttons. I unfurled my banners because I knew such blue-blooded scoundrels would be skulking about, looking to capitalize on a hostage’s distress.”

    “What sort of man seeks to bind the hand of a woman while her wrists are still aching from the manacles of her kidnappers?”

    It was the duchess’ turn to grin – and well she might, as the queen’s poets would be profoundly inspired by her tenacity for months to come.

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

  • Car Door Slam by sdfalk
  • Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FC66 – Explosive Erotic Scenes

    FC66 - Explosive Erotic Scenes
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast066.mp3](Download/iTunes/RSS)

    Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 66.

    Prepare yourself for: Screwing with the classics, highway killers, the return of the returning dead, and Mulligan.

    * * *

    Huge thanks to:

    * * *

    Pulp-ular Press:

    * * *

    Mail Bag:

    • Savage Glenn recommends Fiasco

    * * *

    Backroom Plots

  • FP276 – Mulligan Smith and The Jailhouse Lover, Part 1 of 1
  • [youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QjuEWsdgEc”]

     

    * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, or email us text/mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    FP276 – Mulligan Smith and The Jailhouse Lover, Part 1 of 1

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-six.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Mulligan Smith and The Jailhouse Lover, Part 1 of 1

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp276.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Dead Kitchen Radio.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, private investigator Mulligan Smith finds himself listening to a tale of prison romance.

     

    Mulligan Smith and The Jailhouse Lover

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    “Power windows? Fuck power windows,” Walmart Mike was saying.

    The Mercedes-Benz alongside the Tercel pulled away from the stoplight.

    Mulligan had offered the old man a ride home after discovering him waiting out the downtown bus in a plexiglas shelter, but he hadn’t expected much in the way of a conversation.

    Mulligan SmithThe greeter asked, “you know those flicks where some a-hole with a moustache finds himself facing off against twenty guys and he just stands behind his jalopy and blasts them all? Yeah, I knew this idiot, Dustin Cameron, who actually tried it. He was on parole, but he couldn’t resist living big. Drove around in a boat of a Cadillac. First car I ever rode in with power windows.

    “Only because he bought me lunch, you understand – I was done with the life by then.”

    Mike paused, drumming his fingers on the passenger-side door’s armrest.

    “Few weeks later he rolls on a couple hard-cases who were bothering his employers. Stops his road yacht in the middle of the street, stands up from the driver seat, and levels a Colt .45 – blam, blam, blam.

    “I’m guessing that he was coked out of his mind, but they didn’t mention it in the papers.

    “Anyhow, one of the pair drops, but the other’s quick, and he gets his own peashooter in play.

    “The two of ‘em keep doing the squint and squeeze for a few more seconds, until they’re both clicking at each other, then, full of adrenaline, the idiot gets back in the caddy and starts to drive away.

    “Apparently his windshield had several holes in it, and his goddamn engine must’ve looked like a sieve. A block on he realized that his brakes were pooched, and that he couldn’t stop at the light. A FedEx truck moving through the cross traffic hit ‘im in the trunk, though. Spun the car around and made it stall – but the impact was also enough to spark a fire.

    “Some pedestrians who hadn’t seen what he’d been running from came pounding the pavement toward him, looking to pull him clear before it was too late, but he jerked out of his shock suddenly, and his first instinct was to bring his big pistol up.

    “Well, of course everyone stepped the fuck back.

    “He panicked, threw the piece in the rear seat, and started yelling for help. At that point, though, no ones really excited about giving it a second go.

    “People could see him slamming at the power windows, but they were as dead as the rest of the car. He tried kicking at the glass, but his sneakers kept bouncing. By the time he thought to look for the Colt, the Cadillac was so full of smoke he probably couldn’t see where he’d dropped it – he cooked before he found it.”

    Mulligan whistled. There was a note of emotion in his passenger’s telling that seemed heavier than the story – one more tale of violence in the hundred he’d heard previously – so, rather than trample a carefully prepared runway, the private investigator otherwise maintained his silence.

    After a moment, Mike cleared his throat.

    “It’s funny, in prison people hustle hard for just a bit of sugar,” he said. “That’s where I met Dustin. There was this guy, real prison house Cyrano, you know, used to write letters for him. Well, really, the guy did it for a lot of folks. Some illiterate liquor store holdup man would wander off to him in the yard and say “Hey, it’s me and my lady’s third anniversary, can I get a poem?” The writer’d ask a few questions – you know, get a feel for what their relationship was like – and then he’d wander off and scrawl a little something.

    “In exchange, Cyrano would score a couple of packages of Twinkies from the canteen. Kept him fat through the cold months.

    “Hell, he was no Shakespeare, but a lot of those guys barely knew how to read.

    “Dustin and him got in pretty good. Came to the point where Cameron would just bring his words from home over to Cyrano’s bunk to have ‘em read, then the ghostwriter would spit something out and collect his sweets.

    “Thing is, after a few months, the scribbler falls for the girl. Can’t blame him, really – he had no one writing him, and she was always hella enthusiastic about his messages.

    “I was always under the impression that maybe it was as close to a romance as Dustin ever gave her, even if it was a sham.

    “There’s a limit to what you can say, you know – what they’ll let pass through the mail – but things got as hot as they could under the warden’s watchful letter opener.

    “Maybe that’s why Cameron stopped wanting to write as often, and waited before swinging by Cyrano’s bunk. The correspondence, and Twinkies, slowed to a trickle.

    “Now, Dustin was to be in for twenty. Didn’t happen that way – he did just over six before he was released to go down in his blaze of glory – but, as far as we knew, he was in for a full shift.

    “Cyrano, however, was short, and he couldn’t shut the woman from his mind, even if he’d only seen her in a grainy picture taped to Dustin’s wall.

    “Two months before he’s to be pushed out the gate, Cameron started a major ruckus in the yard and got himself shoved in the hole for a little thinking time.

    “He was still there when lover-boy went through the door.

    “My understanding is that, while Cyrano wasn’t proud of it, he looked in on Mrs. Cameron not long after. Guess he’d written her address enough times to have it memorized.

    “It was a small apartment on the west side of the city – he caught her exiting her door, dolled to the hilt and glowing like a classy pinup. She was pulling a gent along behind her, and the both of them were grinning as if they were kids sneaking out from under the bleachers.

    “Dustin had a temper, so I suppose she can’t be blamed for not being in a hurry to piss him off by delivering the news that they were done. She did theoretically have a couple decades.”

    “Right, well, Cyrano just apologized and said he’d meant stop on the floor above – said he must have hit the wrong button in the elevator, can you believe that, ha, ha, ha. Then he ran like a kicked dog.

    “Haven’t seen him in quite a while, actually.”

    Years of practice had guided the pacing of Mike’s telling, and, as he finished, Mulligan was nosing his ancient Tercel into the parking lot of the ex-con’s residence.

    “What do I owe ya?” asked the elder man, still wearing his blue work-smock.

    Smith smiled. “Nothing, as always – though, honestly, I now have a terrible hankering for a Twinkie.”

    Mike scowled, but found he couldn’t hold it, and was forced to shift to a red-cheeked grin.

    “C’mon inside,” he said, “I happen to have a few in the fridge.”

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

  • Car Door Slam by sdfalk
  • Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FC65 – Cow Tales

    FC65 - Cow Tales
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast065.mp3](Download/iTunes/RSS)

    Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 65.

    Prepare yourself for: Lung worms, reboots, evil kids, haunted house tropes, and Sgt. Smith.

    * * *

    Huge thanks to:

  • Jeff Lynch (TwitterFacebookBothersomethings.com), for his Spot of Bother
  • * * *

    Pulp-ular Press:

    * * *

    Backroom Plots

  • FP274 – Sgt. Smith in Model Behaviour, Part 1 of 1
  • FP275 – Dwelling, Part 1 of 1
  • [youtube_sc url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiU_e3FI5xM”]

     

    * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, or email us text/mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    FP275 – Dwelling, Part 1 of 1

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-five.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Dwelling, Part 1 of 1

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp275.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Dead Kitchen Radio.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, a young boy finds himself unable to fully escape a haunted house.

     

    Dwelling, Part 1 of 1

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    The trouble began late one Halloween evening.

    Under the uncaring gaze of a flock of plastic ghosts hung on an elm across the street, a trio of fourteen-year-old boys were sizing up the rotting shutters and peeling yellow paint of 186 Bunten Road – and, unknown to them, the house was taking their measure in return.

    ChillerTwo of the youths were dressed similarly, having adopted the personas of Jake and Elwood Blues, while the third, Samuel Curry, was dressed as Clark Kent. The costumes had been hasty choices made only once they’d realized their growing desire for maturity had yet to outweigh their need for candy. Church suits, cheap sunglasses, and Jake’s father’s fedora collection had simplified matters, and Sam had but to mousse up, and expose the Superman t-shirt he was already wearing, to perfect his attire.

    It was perhaps his too-handsome looks which brought the Blues Brothers to challenge Curry with a dare of entry into the reputedly haunted property.

    “Sure, if it isn’t locked tight,” was his final reply, and the hat-wearers smiled.

    The false Kryptonian was somewhat disheartened to discover the door ajar, but he moved on nonetheless.

    Digging his key chain from his pocket, the boy engaged the small flashlight which he’d long ago hung on the ring, and pushed through the tight antechamber which preceded the front hall.

    The second entrance provided no more resistance than the first, despite its heft.

    The building was a remnant of another age. Its armour was red brick, and its gilding, from frames to wainscoting, were of heavy oak. Even its innermost entryways held a bulk unheard of in modern construction. The occult symbols which crowded its woodwork were rarer still.

    Inside, Sam was provided with a pair of choices – a passage to the left, which seemed to lead to a darkened living room, or, on the right, a set of stairs rising to the second floor. The agreed objective was the solitary unshuttered window facing the street, a pane on the story above, and the boy lay his sneaker on the gray carpet which ran down the center of the flight.

    As he did so, the exterior most door slammed shut.

    Sam decided it was only the wind – and held to it when the nearer slab also closed.

    It was this tenacity that goaded the house.

    In the kitchen below, a vodka bottle – abandoned atop the counter some years earlier by a startled drunk – shattered on the dusty linoleum.

    The lad, at the head of the steps, ignored it.

    He could see the opening that would lead to the end of his quest, and his focus was completely on his goal.

    With a steady stride, he passed into the former bedroom. He had no time for the black and white leaves that filled the wallpaper, nor the constellation of unidentifiable stains which littered its floor – his eyes clung firmly to the square of illumination from the streetlamps beyond.

    When he peered out, however, he discovered that his companions didn’t have his stomach for unexpected slamming.

    They were gone.

    Turning, Sam readied himself to retrace his route. Ten strides carried him to the cusp of the hall, and an eleventh would have put him safely outside the bedchamber, if it had not been for the sudden closing of the exit.

    The hinged weight landed solidly on his leg, snapping bone below his knee, and the adolescent screamed.

    Pinned in place, he had no option but to watch the corridor’s thick carpet writhe with mirth.

    It was all too much for Samuel, and the teen lapsed into shock-induced unconsciousness.

    He awoke to fresh agony, when the oak frame impacted twice more. His position shifted slightly with each hit, so that, though no blow landed in the same place, the shards of his tibia were churned into fragments, then splinters.

    The boy realized, with horror, that the door was chewing on him.

    The maw again swung wide, but, before a third bite might be taken, Sam dug his nails into the roiling carpet, and pulled himself forward.

    Emitting a mix of grunts and tears, he crawled to the stairs, then down them.

    The structure briefly considered heaving the rug to toss the child the distance, thus assuring an abrupt snapping of his neck at the bottom, but there was too much risk of becoming a known danger to the public.

    No, it decided, permitting an escape would ensure its reputation – ensure the fear it needed.

    Sam had made it to the lower-most step when flashing red lights began to pour through the no-longer-shuttered windows of the first floor.

    Within moments, dual flashlights were probing the boy’s ashen face.

    “I fell,” was the extent of the explanation he provided as the officers transported him to Capital City General.

    No one doubted him.

    * * *

    For a time the house was content.

    On another Halloween, four years later, it had scared away a similar group of explorers through simply swinging wide its front-facing slats while their backs were turned. Six months following that, it had allowed a stray Boston Terrier to enter its basement, only to hold it prisoner until it collapsed from starvation. The residence felt its carcass would make a nice surprise for some future adventurer – but none came till the second summer following, when a bored man in a fine suit made his way inside.

    Having grown bored and hungry, the trap set itself to its best behaviour, as if laying out its tongue to await a meal.

    A parade of workers followed, all instructed to maintain as many of the original fixtures possible. The cacophony scraped paint, varnished surfaces, and peeled the gummy fur from its cellar floor, and, in the end, the presence took some pride in the remarkable nature of its restoration. As they departed, it found itself hard pressed to want to murder this latest batch of subservient intruders.

    On a later June morning, a smartly dressed woman carrying a clipboard lead a recently married couple over the threshold. The bride’s belly was growing heavy, and the twosome cooed at the flood of natural light that filled the room at the top of the stairs.

    They lasted but three weeks – on a quiet Sunday evening the dwelling’s intelligence had exposed, to the expecting woman, every drawer and cupboard in the small kitchen. It had then silently shut each while she breathlessly retrieved her husband.

    The house had not anticipated how seriously the young family would take the incident, and after their premature departure it still yearned for a more satisfying result.

    As such, it again allowed the woman with the clipboard to tour the floors and prattle on about its historic beauty.

    Eventually, a group of five attempted to nest within; a middle aged couple, their teen twin daughters, and the matron’s drooling mother.

    This time the predator took a subtle approach. Tensions flared over missing money and mysterious injuries appearing on the senile gran. The old woman was an invalid, and the corruption took no end of pleasure in terrifying her awake upon a rocking bed – it enjoyed how she screamed endlessly behind her unmoving mouth.

    After a half-decades careful effort, the situation was a primed powder keg. The wife was sure the husband was beating her increasingly frail mother, and the husband was progressively obsessing over the notion that nocturnal shutter creaks, and the sounds of shifting furniture, were signs that his beloved daughters were running rampant with their ne’er-do-well boyfriends – and yet he could never seem to catch them in the act, finding, instead, that when he entered their rooms they would claim they had just awoken, even if their clothing seemed freshly strewn across their floors.

    His freshly purchased shotgun did little to reassure him, though the home viewed it with a sense of impending glee.

    Then, one Tuesday morning, the sleepless nights, and air of constant suspicion, were unexpectedly interrupted by a phone call.

    The malignancy could not penetrate the depths of the conversation, but the family had left together, chattering excitedly.

    Much to the entity’s disappointment, they did not return.

    * * *

    Early Wednesday, a dozen broad-shouldered men arrived in boxy trucks.

    Being familiar with the migration of movers, the house was content to lay silent as the paintings were stripped from its walls, and the furniture emptied from its living spaces. By noon only that which couldn’t be carried away remained.

    As the rumble of engines drained from the lane, a black sedan pulled to a halt at the curb.

    It was then that the lurking hunter realized the sudden departure was a greater threat than it had fathomed.

    The sole of a well-built black shoe set down upon the sidewalk, followed by the stout nose of a masterly crafted oak cane.

    A grown Samuel Curry stepped from the car, then removed his dark suit jacket.

    He left it on the rear-seat as he retrieved his tools.

    Despite his years of planning – his years of panicked awakenings and secret confessions to his psychiatrist – Sam made no speech.

    He peeled the shutters first, plucking off the lowermost with crowbars, and using a ladder to reach those higher.

    The doors came next, without subtlety: Guessing where the hinges might hide within, the avenging form simply laid his sledge against the barriers until they no longer stood. The rush of adrenaline made his stints away from his supporting cane all the more bearable.

    Long planning had lead to caution, so Curry retrieved a pair of sharp bladed scissors, and dropped to his knees, before entering.

    He immediately took to slicing wide shards from the carpeted surfaces, which he then carried to the lawn with meticulous care. As each passed through the house’s maw, it ceased its wiggling protestations. As the path of destruction advanced, the material increasingly bucked and jerked beneath his blades, but a lack of leverage left the complaints useless.

    Every cupboard cover was stripped, and every shelf removed.

    Sweating, the entrance which had left him with a permanent limp was the last tooth that Sam plucked.

    Wandering from room to room , he then pummeled the plasterwork with his walking stick. The walls groaned with rage, but the lack of reprimand was proof enough to the bright-eyed man that the danger had passed.

    As a last insult, Sam unfurled a sleeping bag and slept the night, soundly, upon the kitchen floor.

    He was awoken by the sound of an arriving backhoe, with whose clasping bucket he would chew the house to rubble.

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FP274 – Sgt. Smith in Model Behaviour, Part 1 of 1

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-four.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Sgt. Smith in Model Behaviour, Part 1 of 1

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp274.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Dead Kitchen Radio.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, private investigator Mulligan Smith hears a tale from his father’s checkered history with the Capital City Police Department.

     

    Sgt. Smith in Model Behaviour, Part 1 of 1

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    Mulligan SmithIt was a Sunday, and Mulligan was dabbing at his plate’s last smudge of Hollandaise sauce with his final sliver of English muffin.

    He leaned back from the square oak table – the same he’d grown up leaving chocolate milk rings on – and burped.

    His mute father grimaced, and pointed to a yellow blob that had escaped his son’s fork and landed on the unzipped hoodie he insisted on always wearing.

    “Yeah, yeah,” replied Mulligan, as he rubbed at the stain. “Listen, Dad, not that I’m complaining, but you cook for me when you have a favour to ask – so ask.”

    The gray-haired former police sergeant let out a lungful of air, and nodded.

    Rising, with a creak, from the thrice reupholstered kitchen chair, the old man moved down the short wood-paneled hallway that lead to his bedroom. After a moment of shelf shuffling and drawer slamming, he returned with a cassette tape and a rectangular player consisting of a transparent flip-out door bookended by a pair of black speakers.

    With a fast moving BIC pen, the elder Smith scrawled a short preface on his always-near pad of paper.

    The note read: “Capital City wasn’t in great shape in ‘89.”

    It was the only warning he provided, but it was clue enough to the younger Smith. He knew his father had regularly carried a pocket recorder during the era to capture witness statements. The method saved on hand cramping when tongueless-ly attempting to convey information to his fellow officers.

    Except for a very few, however, those cassettes had been destroyed at his father’s retirement.

    Mulligan’s belly felt suddenly heavy as the play button was pressed.

    The voice was a woman’s; high pitched, but comfortable speaking with a cop.

    “It’s Doreen – but, listen: I was washing my panties at the Washeteria on Danforth, maybe an hour ago, so 10PM-ish, and this blond came in wearing a Capital University jacket and a Walkman so loud it could frighten an Amish village off their land.

    “She struts past me with a pink plastic laundry basket piled high with her frillies and a stack of textbooks – and I notice she’s wearing jewelery. At the goddamn Washeteria.

    “Really, it was nothing too over the top. Classy stuff, but, you know, girlish. There was a gold music note on her neck that would get you at least a hundred bucks in any of the downtown pawn shops, and a bracelet chunky enough to club a seal.

    “Anyhow, she picks the machine at the end to dump her clothes into, then she sits up on the counter and starts digging through one of her books. I mean, not in a bored kind of way, she was seriously tucking in.

    “Thing is, there was this guy in a white sweater, with a blue zigzag pattern – sort of Charlie Brown style, but thinner, and around his collar instead of his stomach. His teeth were perfect and I’d be willing to bet he had his hair done earlier today – and not cheaply, either.

    “Their conversation started about math – he was maybe twenty-five to her eighteen or nineteen, and I guess he’d been through the same accounting course. I tuned it all out until he said:

    ““I’m done my laundry too – and that looks like a lot of stuff. Could I drive you home?”

    “Well, there was one car in the parking lot, a cherry red Corvette with windows as black as a blind guy’s sunglasses.

    “She looked impressed – and I couldn’t believe it.

    “Before she went through the door with him, I put myself in her path.

    ““I don’t think that’s the best idea, hon,” I said.

    “She looked my little black dress over and I know she was thinking, “Jesus, this woman dresses like a whore.”

    “Hell, I almost blurted “that’s because I AM a whore, bitch,” but one of us had to maintain some manners.

    “She didn’t actually say anything to me, she just kept talking to the guy. Told him she was down the road at The Gardens, and how she really appreciated it.

    “Now, I know you’re thinking, “who is this street walker to judge who this girl wants to climb in the sack with?”

    “But that ain’t it.”

    The woman cleared her throat, and the tape reported a lighter being struck twice, then igniting.

    She continued.

    “I don’t know how long he’d been haunting the place, but I’m sure he noticed the same thing I did: A good looking, but slightly overwhelmed, girl folding clothes with no wedding band on.

    “Now, what’s a guy with that much expensive cologne on doing hanging around a laundromat after dusk? Waiting to play knight?

    “Hell no. I can’t prove it, but that guy was either a rapist or an axe murderer.

    “Worse, though, is that I know cars. You get in that pretty moving box, and you really don’t have any room to maneuver. A lot can happen in that tiny space before you can do anything about it.

    “Hey, maybe I’m just being an idiot, but the news is always yammering about those missing blondes…”

    Though the tape kept winding, there was a pause in the dialogue as a pencil scratched across paper.

    “Yeah, actually,” said the woman, after reading an unseen request. “You’re lucky I’ve made it a professional habit to memorize license numbers.”

    There was a juttering shift in the audio then, and, following a series of clicks, a man’s voice filled the speakers.

    Mulligan recognized it to be that of Gus Kramer, his father’s former partner.

    “You’re sure about the lawyer? Okay, in that case, why don’t you tell us what you’d intended to do with the Ms. Harrison once you knocked her out?”

    The tape head ground on, but there was a deep silence before the response came.

    “Yeah, sure guys, why not?” was the eventual reply. Despite the delay, the man’s tone was cool and clear. “She was the fifth. You’ll find the rest back at my house. The basement will be cold when you enter – I like how, er, pert it makes them, but I really keep it that way to slow the reaction.

    “I built a tank in Dad’s old workshop; well, I had it built for me. I said I needed an incredibly strong giant aquarium.

    “There’s two tubes on either side – are you familiar with casting resin at all? You mix two chemicals together and the goo hardens to something almost like glass. Sometimes, at booths in the mall, you can buy a tarantula in what looks like clear plastic. Basically the same thing.

    “My first stab at a diorama was a failure. I started by dumping too much in, and I didn’t realize how hot the process would get – at her hips, she was screaming in agony. The whole place smelled like flaming chicken.

    “I panicked a bit and finished filling the tank twice as quick. Her thrashing did a surprisingly good job of mixing things, and she was firmly stuck when the liquid stopped her bawling.

    “The end product was terrible, because the resin cracked and went yellow from the heat, but she was good training.

    “I ordered away for industrial stuff, which is way cooler, and number two taught me to do it in stages. She fought forever, though, and I ended up with something that looked like a woman curled in the fetal position at the top of a box, which isn’t exactly sexy.

    “With number three I kept her unconscious till the bottom layer had already set, so that she had the use of the rest of her body, but her feet were pinned in place. From there it climbed a few inches of resin at a time, with a mix that allowed it to set as slowly as possible. Of course, she wanted to remain alive, so she stretched every muscle, with her back arched and face upturned to try and get that last breath.

    “That definitely turned out sexy.

    “Four is beautiful as well, actually – she showed me about the value of props, and now she’ll always be my naughty french maid.

    “I had a school scene in mind for number five. I have a desk and plaid skirt at home waiting for her. Nothing more though – I prefer them topless. I thought I could strap her to her chair beneath the tartan, so that she could still move her arms a bit, and provide the randomness that’s really necessary for a life-like scene.

    “Wouldn’t it be great if I could convince her to keep just one hand raised?

    “I was so excited to see my beautiful liquid glass slide past her cherry lip gloss -”

    The elder Smith stopped the tape, and his son sighed. He knew the case well enough, and that the man the press had dubbed The Cube Killer was long dead from a sharpened prison house toothbrush.

    “I was wrong,” said the younger man, “you also cook before a funeral. The victim?”

    Reaching into his pocket, the retiree retrieved a newspaper obituary for one Doreen Mitchell, mother of three. It indicated that viewings would begin Monday evening, and both Smiths wondered if the accompanying photo had struck many of those who habitually trawled the back-page column as inappropriate. Still, whatever the cut of her dress, the ferocity of the woman’s smile was inescapable.

    Mulligan nodded, considering his words. Finally, he said, “I’ll get my suit pressed in the morning.”

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.