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True Crime Tuesday: Pick Your Battles Edition

Live Till You Die
Today’s True Crime Tuesday is about realizing that you often need to simply keep calm and carry on.

It’s a lesson – as YorkDispatch.com reports – that Karen Harrelson and Gregory Stambaugh did not learn:

As Karen Elaine Harrelson, 48, and Gregory L. Stambaugh, 57, were watching “American Idol” in the basement of Stambaugh’s West Manchester Township home Wednesday, May 15, the two got into an drunken argument over which contestant – Candice Glover or Kree Harrison – should win the season’s title.

Which is hardly surprising, as…

Both Harrelson and Stambaugh told police they been drinking, with Stambaugh adding that Harrelson started drinking beer and tequila at 5 a.m. and that he joined in at noon by drinking beer and a pint of scotch, the report says.

So, how do you decide who should win? Engage in a well reasoned discourse and examination of the individual contestant’s strengths and weaknesses? Rock Paper Scissors? Watch the show?

In this case, they chose knife fight.

So one of them went to the kitchen, got a knife and stabbed the other. Whoever was stabbed first then took hold of the knife and stabbed the other, according to West Manchester Township Police.

Who stabbed first? Unsurprisingly, the pair argue the point.

Black Mask Cover

Ever heard the saying that “no good deed goes unpunished”? 71-year-old William Moody apparently holds the axiom close to his heart, as, according to wxpi.com:

A North Strabane Township man was arrested Friday after police said he got mad that a good Samaritan parked her car in his driveway while helping the victim of a car crash.

The nice thing about starting a fight beside a car crash, however, is that the police are already close at hand to deal with things.

When officers arrived, they said Moody fought with them before being arrested.

How does a man of that age go into battle against the theoretically-well-prepared forces of justice? Guile, apparently.

Moody is also accused of faking a heart attack and hitting a paramedic when the cuffs were removed.

His wits, however, were not his only defense – he also had his teeth, though perhaps not in the way that you might think.

Once at the police station, officers said he again began to fight with law enforcement and threw his false teeth and a watch at them.

Weird Vampire Tales

FCM006 – BaltiQuestions

FCM006 - BaltiQuestions

We had some questions about Balticon & America, and we demanded answers.

 

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Huge thanks to Nutty, Tek, Hugh, and Rich the Time Traveller!

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Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP328 – Fastest Gun in the West

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and twenty-eight.

Flash PulpTonight we present Fastest Gun in the West, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by the Final Shot Saloon

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, in an unexpected turn even to us, we take a trip to the dusty plains of the Old West to meet a lad of some renown.

 

Fastest Gun in the West

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

William “Brazos” Barden held a reputation for speed that few could match, but he’d worked for it.

It had started when he was eight. His father had stepped down from their wobble-wheeled cart with a pistol on his belt – a J.H Dance & Brothers black powder Navy revolver – and the younger Barden had fallen in love with the thing before he’d even finished helping unpack the supplies that crowded the wagon’s bed.

It had taken a month of asking, but Barden Senior had eventually been convinced to allow the boy to inspect the weapon unattended. On a warm Saturday morning in June his father had handed across the gun, after a careful inspection to ensure it was unloaded, and the lad had immediately bundled up the leather sling to scurry into the shadows of the barn.

William’s hours were spent drawing and firing, and every spray of imagined bullets knocked down a line of invisible road agents. It was nearly supper when he was finally ordered away to complete a day’s worth of chores in an hour’s time.

Skinner Co.In the following months his Pa found it increasingly convenient to allow the boy access to his fascination instead of laying aside pennies as compensation for the youth’s efforts on the homestead. It was soon the case that, despite dusty wind, or sweltering heat, or even impending storm clouds, William could be found in the shooting gallery of his mind.

Draw, holster, draw, holster, draw – the muscles of his arm became attenuated to little more, and his finger danced upon the trigger to the beat of empty-chambered clicks.

At the age of fourteen William had been wearing the weapon – now loaded and often used to scramble unwanted reptiles – when he’d stumbled across one of the Elmore brothers raising his voice to Father Barden while keeping his hand on his belt knife. It was late, and by the smell of whiskey on their breath Brazos knew they’d likely been at cards previous to his appearance. It seemed to be coming to a head as the lad approached, but, even as the irate guest began to flex his wrist to retrieve his blade, the younger Barden had drawn and planted his barrel against the man’s left nostril.

Wordlessly the pair had marched – one forward, one backwards – to the distant gate that marked the edge of their spread. By the time they’d arrived the drunken Elmore had swung from anger to melancholy, but William barred the entrance behind him nonetheless.

It was in recounting the story that the elder Barden gave his son his nickname, for each telling would conclude on the same statement that the lad had “damn near backed the bastard into the Rio Brazos.”

Still, it wasn’t gumption that made William proud, it was his speed.

At seventeen he collected three Comanches apparently fleeing, long distance, from the cavalry columns that rode the territory in search of their deaths or their surrender.

The trio were armed with weapons that would have been familiar to Grandfather Barden, but if it was good enough for the army, it was good enough for Brazos. Before they could raise their lap-bound flintlocks to scare off what they thought to be a hungry coyote, William’s ego had him standing beside their fire. He did so with his palms empty and his thumbs in his belt. When the youngest of the group, likely a year Will’s junior, moved to stand, the old cap-and-ball revolver found itself the quicker to rise. The single round it fired passed cleanly through the boy’s left shoulder.

Later William would tell himself, and those who’d listen, that it had been his intended target.

In the end it was a lucky result for the Comanches, perhaps, as the elder two captives were able to staunch the bleeding, and a life on the reservation was a small step up from a lonely death in the dusty stretches.

The story of their capture did much to bolster William’s name.

Two years later, when he was largely known simply as Brazos, and he’d traded his father’s seemingly-ancient pistol for a Colt, William encountered Chauncey Miller, another man with a reputation.

Chauncey was well known as a drunk, and a washed up Pinkerton, and it was said around most railyard card games that he might have once held the title of fastest draw in the Republic. He still wore a weapon at his hip, but he often spoke loudly about how rarely he’d used it since his supposed retirement. On such occasions his closest friends would raise a questioning brow, though they declined to argue the point.

Miller hadn’t been considering his notoriety as man of pacifism or war when he’d demanded payment from Brazos, he’d been solely interested in the whiskey the victory would afford him. His firm-chinned step towards William was meant as intimidation, not invitation, but Barden had become proficient with just one solution.

He’d fired twice before Chauncey had even cleared his leather, and the Virginian’s quadruply pierced hat was tumbling to the ground with a well-ventilated peak by the time the older man’s carefully oiled Peacemaker was brought level.

Brazos didn’t have the chance to make a third shot.

For three-tenths of a glorious second he’d been the fastest gun in the West – it was only through misfortune that he’d happened, that very day, to run into the man who remained the most accurate in that same territory.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

True Crime Tuesday: Turnabout is Fair Play Edition

True Adventures Pulp Cover
Today’s True Crime Tuesday is all about squeezing juice into life’s eyes when it hands us lemons – or, at least, trying to.

For example, life was getting a bit rough on Aftab Aslam, as CBS News reports:

[John’s Creek city spokesman Doug] Nurse says Aslam left home because he didn’t want to tell his parents he was failing an English class at Georgia Gwinnett College.

Did he strike out into the world, looking to make his fame and fortune on the path less traveled? Not exactly:

Nurse says Aslam bought a cellphone and texted his parents a story about being kidnapped April 27.

– but guess what’s harder than a community college English class? Camping out to fake your own kidnapping.

Nurse says Aslam camped for about a week in an undeveloped area in Forsyth County, but the weather turned cold and rainy and he went home.

Paul Rader Teacher's Pet

Some folks, on the other hand, will fight even when others might suggest they should simply let things go.

Such is the case of Kaleb Young, Westword.com reports:

[I]n September, officers raided Young’s home, and they came in force. “They had eighteen SWAT-level officers wearing battle dress uniforms, many of them carrying assault rifles,” [defense attorney Rob] Corry said. “They ripped Kaleb out of his house with guns drawn — this for a guy who had no criminal record — and did the same thing to his mother.”

The cops subsequently found a warehouse space containing what Corry described as “a small grow — fifty plants, some of them dying, cared for by an amateur grower with piles of documentation.”

An open and shut case in some locations, perhaps, but not so in Colorado:

Kaleb Young, a marijuana caretaker [was] acquitted of three felonies. But while the Larimer County Sheriff’s Office gave back some of the items seized during a raid the previous year, 42 marijuana plants weren’t returned — because they had died.

Of course they had – why should the officers in question have been exercising their green thumbs? Well:

Corry offers up the following analogy: “Let’s say the government seized my dog, and they say it’s vicious. But if it’s later determined that the dog wasn’t vicious and should be returned, they couldn’t say later that they’d denied it food and water or put it down. They’d need to keep it alive until either the wrongdoing was proven or it wasn’t — and that’s the case here. The jury acquitted my client of all charges. So they needed to return the property they’d taken from him in as good or better condition than it was in when they took it.”

So now Young is seeking compensation, but how do you price that sort of thing out?

Actually, the American government has been happily practicing that sort of market estimation since the 1970s.

Speaking this week, Corry says, “If you use the DEAs valuation of them, probably in the neighborhood of $200,000 — plus some equipment and those sorts of things.”

Marhuana Pulp Cover

FPGE19 – M Day by David "Doc Blue" Wendt

Welcome to Flash Pulp Guestisode nineteen.

Flash PulpTonight we present M Day by David “Doc Blue” Wendt, Part 1 of 1
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(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Mob

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight we present a very special Doc Azrael-related Guest-isode. Huge thanks, Doc Blue!

 

M Day by David “Doc Blue” Wendt

Written by David “Doc Blue” Wendt
Narration by David “Doc Blue” Wendt
Art and opening intro by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

Skinner Co.

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Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FC88 – The Chinese Connection

FC88 - The Chinese Connection
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Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 88.

Prepare yourself for: Road yogurt, Polaski’s exit, lion meat tacos, The Avengers: The Sitcom, Zombicide, and Of the Old School.

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Huge thanks to:

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    Mailbag:

  • Send your comments to comments@flashpulp.com!
  • Don’t forget to send in your Sunday undertakings!
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    Backroom Plots:

  • FP327 – Of the Old School
  • [youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6tcs0_NAUI”]

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    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

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    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, or email us text/mp3s to comments@flashpulp.com.

    FlashCast is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.