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FPSE16 – The Wagging Tongue

Welcome to Flash Pulp Special Episode Sixteen.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Wagging Tongue, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Nutty Bites

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight we hear a two-fisted tale of superheroics and mundane errors.

The Wagging Tongue

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

The floor of Little Texas was awash in overturned chairs, broken novelty steins, and blood. Most of the scarlet could be attributed to the two broken-handed meth addicts who’d decided to rob the downtown bar and grill without shoes.

They’d made quite a mess during the threatening phase of their operation, their sawed-down shotguns acting as handy clubs to scatter the taproom’s signature glasses, but neither had considered that they might have to undertake a hasty retreat through the field of debris – at least until the Celestial had appeared.

Striding through the swinging double doors as if she had not, seconds previous, been dealing with a terrorist threat in Karachi, the woman ignored both gunmen as she’d scanned the room with her wide-spectrum vision.

It was only once she spotted Clinton Webb that she raised her ivory gauntlets. Despite their best efforts to sprint through a side exit, the would-be bandits had found their weapons removed with such force that their malnourished fists shattered under their effort to retain them.

A followup thrust of the Celestial’s gravity-based powers had left the pair unconscious, and the heroine sneering at Webb.

Now, as she moved to depart, the establishment’s cook shouted, “thank you!”

The dishwasher, a portly alcoholic who’d seen five holdups in his time, wept, “praise Jesus – and you, Celestial!”

Clint, standing close enough to a blond patron in a black pencil skirt and broad shouldered jacket to be heard, simply muttered, “go fuck yourself.”

“You know her?” asked the stranger, with one well-groomed brow raised.

“Yeah,” replied the forty-year-old bartender. “The first time I was saved by the Celestial I was eighteen and on a date. She steps from her nova portal thing and just stares at me the whole time she’s chastising the mugger. Hell, I only had twenty bucks, I almost would’ve rathered he just took it.”

The woman on the stool had been sharp enough to keep her hand on her drink as the hooligans had entered, and her pint of Stella Artois was one of the few to survive the affair. She sipped on it as she asked, “she doesn’t like you?”

Skinner Co.“You could say that. For the last twenty years any time she makes a newspaper cover – and when doesn’t she – I get a copy of it, hand delivered to my door. I went backpacking in Europe, decades ago – you know, during The Shadow Uprising? – and it didn’t matter how filthy of a back alley hostel I stayed in, the Capital City Daily was always waiting for me.

“At one point, when I was maybe thirty-three, thirty-four, I got lost while camping in Ontario with some friends. I got separated and wandered for a few hours before falling and getting my leg wedged between two stones. I did my best to yell for help, but I eventually passed out from the pain. When I come to, the next morning, there was a full-colour Sunday edition, waiting beside me, talking about the time she’d punched the Creeping Evil across a three mile stretch of the city and directly into a jail cell.

“The worst part? She didn’t actually come to get me till lunch. She waited till some small-town news people had arrived at the park entrance, then she carried me to safety and lectured me for fifteen minutes in front of the camera.

“Thing is, I’ve only actually caught her delivering it once. For years I wasn’t even sure she was the one doing it – I thought maybe she had some sort of crew of cronies doing her dirty work, but it’s her all right.

“Remember the time she fought Commandant Oblivion to a stand still on the roof of the Richards Building? Seven straight hours of floor-at-a-time punching? The papers had already laid out two possible prints for the outcome, and they hit go as soon as she finally knocked him down.

“I remember the headline,” said the one-woman-audience, “‘Celestial Risks Everything to Save City,’”

Clint nodded. “I bet she had to steal an issue from a the printing company’s loading bay to get it that early. I don’t watch the news, though, so I didn’t know what was going on. I was just up earlier than normal because of my neighbour’s yappy Shih Tzu and happened to be headed into the hall when she arrived.

“Her costume was shredded, and her mask was missing entirely. She held out the paper, her hand shaking just slightly, then dropped it straight-arm.

“It was so soaked in her blood that I couldn’t have read the article if I’d wanted to.”

The woman shook her head. “I know a thing or two about the Celestial’s enemies – we’re talking international dictators and ninja assassins – and I’ve never seen her bothered over any of it. Whatever you did to piss her off must have been pretty hideous.”

The police had not arrived, nor had the meth-heads awoken. The canned honky tonk music had returned to its normal levels, and the cook was busy righting chairs.

Taking it all in, then eyeing up the figure on the stool, Clint said, “it happened when we were kids.”

“Wait, are you going to tell me her origin story?”

“Origin story? No, besides, everyone knows that young Selma Cygnus was bitten by a radioactive alien that turned her into the mighty force for justice that is the Celestial – it’s right in her reality show’s intro.

“This was years before that, when we were both maybe twelve. She was just weird Selma from next door back then. Me and a pal of mine were messing around in my backyard, shooting cans with my pellet gun, and she hops the little fence between our places and starts giving me guff about how dangerous the thing is. We didn’t like each other, even then, but I think she had a bit of a crush on Ralph.

“Anyhow, her dog is there, old brute by the name of Horace, and when I start yelling at her to get back to her own place it hops up on the fence with its front paws and starts barking at me.

“It was stupid. I didn’t believe, somehow, that the gun could really do any damage. Without thinking I shot the mutt. Of course, the only thing I could see on the bloody thing was its head, so that’s where I hit it. We all just stood there, watching it pant and drain away into the gravel of her driveway.”

There was a lingering silence that was eventually replaced with the arrival of a patrol car’s swelling sirens.

Clint expected the rolled bundle the following day, but was surprised to discover that the headline was largely unrelated to the Little Texas incident.

Instead the bold print read, “Meet The Man Who Shot the Celestial’s Dog.”

He did not recognize the name of Madeline Lawrence, the reporter credited in the byline, but he knew she must have been the friendly ear at the bar.

It would be years before he was no longer recognized on the street as a canine assassin, but it was, at least, the final time his constant savior delivered the news.

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FCM004 – MMM

FCM004 - MMM
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Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

Research Fodder March 27, 2013

FP318 – Pinch: a Blackhall Chronicle, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and eighteen.

Flash PulpTonight we present Pinch: a Blackhall Chronicle, Part 1 of 1
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Shadow Publications

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Thomas Blackhall, master frontiersman and student of the occult, is confronted by a one-handed man with a tale of loss.

Pinch: a Blackhall Chronicle

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

Thomas had risen before dawn, eager to see an old friend and return to his hunt, to discover that a visitor awaited him in the great room of the inn at which he’d taken up temporary lodging.

As the stranger flagged Blackhall over, the woman who ran the establishment – a mother of four who’d been left too soon by a soldiering husband – stood sleepy eyed at the fireplace, trying to will the embers into a greater flame. Thomas briefly considered ignoring the newcomer’s summons and to instead wander hastily out of the sleepy scene, but the handless stump with which the man signaled was difficult to overlook.

Working off the straps he’d just finished arranging and then setting down his baggage and rifle, Blackhall sat.

Sensing the frontiersman’s aggravation at the delay, the round-faced caller raised his early cup of hops and said, “oh, I assure you, this digression is worthy of your time, Mr. Blackhall.”

“Name’s Meriwether Tristram. My cousin in Perth wrote to tell me of you once he’d caught wind of my – situation.

Thomas Blackhall“You see, one Sunday I’d arisen to breakfast only to realize my meager cupboard was empty. Worse still, I’d spent the last of my coin on quenching Friday night’s thirst, and, though I laboured greatly at the Mill in New Branston, there was no hope of fresh pay till the Wednesday following – anyhow, hunger and a long sleep drove me from bed that morn, but I still had plenty of shot for my musket. It was my search for venison, north of the cluster of shanties that make up the so-called town, that lead me to a stretch of spruce that I did not recognize from previous expeditions.

“I could hear a stream on the far side of the stand and I was considering spending a period amongst the foliage to see what passed when I noticed a set of white stones arranged in a strange pattern upon the ground nearby. A closer examination, of course, presented the fact that they were not rocks at all, but the skeletal remains of a foot. There was no sign of the rest of the body, but I did spot a trinket resting in close proximity to the detached ankle.

“I assumed it to be silver, though I now highly doubt it. Its surface is engraved with curious care, an arrangement of loops and strokes that seems to deepen as you look them over, and its sizing – well, you shall see.

“Now, let me make it plain: Other than the scrollwork, the dimensions were not outside of the ordinary for a thick ring – that is why I kept it. For my distant girl.

“Well, I mean, I may have attempted to sell it first, but even then the proceeds were to be obtained with my intended in mind. The few I inquired with, however, had little interest, and I knew that there were others nearby who would be quick to call for the bauble against debts owed – unfortunate pinches about the dice table have left me with more creditors than friends. As such, I dispatched it to my wife.

“Or, truly, my would-be wife; even previous to our betrothal I worked the camps in hopes of collecting adequate funds to purchase a plot large enough for a cow and a field of corn, and so my intentions continued though my empty-pocketed status kept us apart.

“Anyhow, I parceled it up and sent it, by trusted courier, homeward.”

Thomas cleared his throat while Meriwether took a moment to wet his own.

“For what period have you been in search of your fortune?” asked Blackhall.

“Well, at this and at that for the last dozen months.”

“- and how much have you garnered for your farm?”

“You must understand, I’ve yet to find the gambit that will truly make my name. Currently, sir, my possessions extend only to the small traveling case of clothes that resides in my room, and the willingness to put my back into future labours.”

“Seems a shame to expend such effort without a result to show for it. Perhaps the dice are not your friend.”

“I have had some bad luck, it’s true – though it hardly matters now. She called the wedding off. A month after my missive I received a note, with my love token returned. I thought at first that the issue was impatience or another fellow, for the attached explanation made little sense to me at the time. It spoke of a curse – both on the ring, and on our love. Half was true, at least.

“My sole consolation was that the news came on a Friday. As it happened, I’d changed occupation from miller to lumberman, and, as my new position came with a week-ending payday, I was flush enough to hold the head of my sorrows below a steady flow of ale.

“It was a night of singing and weeping. It was the sort of occasion on which friendships are made and broken, sweeping oaths are professed then forgotten, and many mugs are broken by accident or design.

“The ring remained in my pocket throughout those hours of lament, but, on my stumbling route back to my bunk, my fingers came upon the accursed thing.

“My memory is piecemeal at best, but I recall noting with some amusement that the metal seemed to stretch about my stocky fingers. It was with some amazement, then, that I found myself able to expand it so wide that it might act as a bangle around my wrist, but my experiments were cut short by the attentions necessary to capture a few hours sleep in a company bed after having ditched a scheduled day’s labour.

“Despite my circumstances the foreman had no pity for me – admittedly, it may not have been my first such sabbatical, although it was certainly my most justified. Whatever the case, my call to rise was an unpleasant one. It did not help, I suppose, that I appeared more attentive to the sting in my arm than the bull-mouthed man’s words. Still, there was no time to investigate the source of my affliction before I was tossed up on a wagon bound for town.

“I am not unfamiliar with slumbering through an unexplained ache, and the rocking of the wheels quickly pulled me back under. Besides, although persistent it had not yet grown so painful as to be all encompassing.

“Not, that is, until I awoke in a heap on the ground, with the cart trailing away in the distance. Stevenson, the driver, had gathered a dislike for me after a misunderstanding, on an earlier occasion, regarding the number of aces in a certain deck of cards we’d been, er, inspecting.

“‘You were howling in your sleep, it was scaring the horses,’ he shouted back, but he was gone before I could collect myself enough to make a reply.

“At least he had the decency to drop me at a signpost that indicated my position in relation to town. I wasn’t within sight of the local pub, but I was in the proper county.

“Realizing my recent gin soaking would hardly win me friends amongst any decent folk with functioning noses, and feeling as if I’d perhaps injured my arm in my tumble, I crept into a nearby barn with the intention of continuing to nap away the last of my wobbling remorse.

“Now, understand: Come into town looking rough and smelling of cow dung, they’ll assume you’ve been hard at work, but, come in looking rough and smelling of the lower shelves, they’ll assume you’re a roustabout who’s never held a shovel in his life.

“Anyhow, I could not rest. In attempting to reach the upper loft I came to realize that my right hand was not just numb from the fall or the spirits, as I’d assumed. I had no control of my fingers, and no sense that there was anything attached beyond my elbow.

“Working back my jacket and shirt sleeve, I found the ring, just as thick but now approximately the size of a malnourished crab apple. I note this because, as you can see, I carry the weight of my drinking habits with me, and my arm is considerably meatier than an apple’s width.

“You see, the damned thing had contracted while I was sleeping. It’s ever tightening circumference had cinched my flesh like a corset, then worse, and I’d accidentally anesthetized myself against the procedure.

“There was no blood, but the agony increased with my sobriety. In short order I was weeping in the corner of a swept pig pen, with only the sound of snapping bone and grinding metal to keep me company.

“I pawed at the ever-tightening band, but I could not even rise to take up the woodpile axe at the edge of my vision – and a good thing too, as, in my state, I would’ve just as likely displaced the entirety of my arm.

“I was come upon the following day by a maid come to milk their Bess. I’d become senseless in my uncomfortable position, and the family’s sheepdog had taken to gnawing on my now detached extremity – a fact that was discovered as the gal’s father carried me house-ward.

“It was the same fellow who located the blasted ring, again the size at which I’d originally discovered it, and slipped it in my pocket for safekeeping.

“Since then I’ve dared to touch it only to bind it more securely.”

Having concluded his tale, Tristram’s remaining fingers went to his jacket front to retrieve a small bundle wrapped in a well-used handkerchief.

Blackhall raised a brow at the parcel, but said nothing.

Tristram did not let the silence hang long.

“I was hoping,” he said, “ that you could perhaps return my hand – for surely, if there is magic enough in this world to remove it, there is also ample to form another?”

Thomas exhaled, considering his words. Finally he replied, “many things are possible, but what you ask is not one of them.”

Without pause, as if he had already guessed at the answer, Meriwether pressed on. “Then mayhaps it would be worth some coin to you?”

Pulling apart the hasty knot, Blackhall exposed the charm in question to the still morning air.

“I recognize this piece,” he said, “It was constructed for – er – softer meats. Not to pass through bone.

“At some point in the distant past it no doubt amassed a hefty purse for a medicine man wandering about sod-hut farms, but, though it cost you much to carry, I’m afraid it will earn you little. I, for one, will give you nothing worth more than a freshly filled stein and the safety of not having to deal with it further.”

Tristram frowned, saying, “I do not understand.”

“In the days before this enlightened age – well, let us simply say that not all bulls are meant to breed.”

There was a silence between the men, then a nod from the one-handed visitor. At the sign, Thomas collected the ring, laid payment across the bar, and made note to the proprietress that there was enough extra to make it worth tapping a keg for his peer.

Even as Blackhall moved towards the exit, the next of the day’s patrons stumbled across the threshold.

“Too my future fortune then,” smiled Meriweather, as he waved down the newcomer and reached for an empty cup in which to set his dice.

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

Sing A Song On Sunday – Unchained Melody

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/JMay-UnchainedMelody.mp3]
Download Here

Recording this was incredibly different than any other experience I’ve had. Generally, I hit record and erase several times before I even listen to the play back. This time, I just played it through once without fussing or stopping. I didn’t over think it, I just played. I’m not sure if this will ever happen again, so here’s the best example of what my first take sounds like.

It was one of my Dad’s favourite tunes and I played it privately and at his legion. He loved it performed as the record sounded, so I never messed with his magic. I think he’d dig this version though. Still thick with the songs original intention, but braised in my brand of Dad sad.

Thank you so much for listening.

Note: All of my older songs are still available at May Tunes!

 

FC84 – Tainted Kidney

FC84 - Tainted Kidney
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast084.mp3](Download/iTunes/RSS)

Hello, and welcome to FlashCast 84.

Prepare yourself for: Rabies transplants, prison escapes, nipple clamp sales, Nazis, the Gorn, and Joe Monk.

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Huge thanks to:

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[youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQDvsf5lAp0″]

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[youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybJ6fS7ruuo”]

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Backroom Plots:

  • FP317 – Joe Monk, Emperor of Space: Cold Blooded Murder, Part 1 of 1
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    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

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    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, or email us text/mp3s to comments@flashpulp.com.

    FlashCast is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

    FP317 – Joe Monk, Emperor of Space: Cold Blooded Murder, Part 1 of 1

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode three hundred and seventeen.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Joe Monk, Emperor of Space: Cold Blooded Murder, Part 1 of 1
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp317.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Shadow Publications

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight Joe Monk, eventual interstellar king, finds himself fishing for a murderer.

    Joe Monk, Emperor of Space: Cold Blooded Murder

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

    Years before his rise to the galactic throne, Joe Monk found himself responding to an unexpected summons to the edge of Crumf, a binary system with no planets. As an odd side effect of not being killed by the Spinesians during a recent sticky diplomatic situation, Monk had been given an Extrasolar Deputyship – a title he’d considered largely ceremonial till the grinding bleat of an incoming message had interrupted one of Macbeth’s repeated attempts to teach the last human proper maintenance of their ship’s engine.

    Joe had been pleased with the break from his craboid teacher’s prodding claws and scrutinizing eye-stalks, at least until the viewscreen filled with the barely-fading-from-memory visage of the Spinesian Ambassador who’d appointed him.

    The ensuing debate had ended when the alien informed them “whoever is the closest law,’ that is our way.” The sudden hang up that followed had prevented any further argument.

    Now Monk and his scuttling companion were aboard a Spinesian whaler, staring through the thick transparent doors that held the ship’s atmosphere within the loading bay. It was the freighter’s sole window, and its only room large enough to double as a courtroom.

    The First Mate had briefed him in the Captain’s quarters, a cramped closet with a folding bed and walls covered in images that Joe would have recognized as pornographic if he’d held a deeper knowledge of exotic anatomies.

    “The skipper was murdered, sure enough,” the second-in-command had told him, “hard to say who it was though – Cap was the kind of fellow to make more enemies than sandwiches.”

    Joe Monk, Emperor of SpaceConsidering the motley crew, Joe could believe it. The ship’s AI had provided a listing of recent complaint reports – a compilation that had required several hours just to skim through – and it had simply proven that not a being on the vessel was without reason to have killed their Spenisian commander. Had it been Goarth, a mantis-like giant who’d nearly fallen unconscious while in vacuum after rushed orders had had his environmental suit’s air mix accidentally replaced with that of Mylonx, a stout carbon breather? Was it Mylonx himself, who’d nearly been sliced in half by a cutting laser when the captain had demanded an abrupt angle change before checking that the area was clear? Both lives had only been saved by warning klaxons from the mainframe’s safety systems.

    Worse, there were twenty-five shipmates and each had a similar grievance. At least the work team of ten that were currently in cold space could be discounted – they’d been busy meat-mining when their leader’s skull had had an access hatch repeatedly closed on it.

    Through the transparent panel, the reluctant lawman eyed the glitter of energy beams as the underpaid labourers danced across the ebony skin of the moon-sized pseudo-beluga. Soon, he knew, the bay they were occupying would be filled with the shavings of pre-cauterized gourmet flesh, and yet he was no nearer to a solution.

    As if it had anticipated his thoughts, the computer informed the gathering, “fifteen minutes till re-entry, at current harvest speed. Operations proceed at optimal levels.”

    Macbeth, who seemed to have no interest in the fishing expedition beyond, leaned close and said, “I think it was your friend, the next in line to take the helm. Promotion is as likely a motive as the rest.”

    Joe nodded, but he wasn’t sure he agreed – even if he did, how could they prove it?

    “Wait,” he said loudly enough to startle the assembled workers on their makeshift crate-chairs. Using the same voice, he asked, “What are your main job priorities, computer?”

    There was no answer.

    “Call him Ishmael,” suggested the First Mate.

    “Ah – Ishmael, what are your main job priorities?” repeated Monk.

    “Ship navigation, the safety of the crew, and the collection and delivery of the galaxy’s finest whale cutlets.”

    “Yeah,” continued Joe, “on that middle item: How’s your accident record?”

    There was a pause before the machine responded, “There has been one casualty this expedition, bringing the total to five in our last trio of outings.”

    “Would it be fair to say that your dead skipper was responsible for the first four?”

    There was a second silence, then a flat “yes.”

    “Okay, and would it also be fair to say that your dead skipper was the greatest threat here?”

    The system’s hardwired logic couldn’t avoid providing an answer. “Yes.”

    “Ishmael, did you repeatedly attempt to close the hatch to access port five when you knew it was obstructed by the captain’s skull?”

    “Yes.”

    Macbeth’s claws gave three quick snaps and Monk knew his mentor was impressed – for his own part, however, the human simply wanted to return to the comfort of his considerably less talkative ship.

    Monk’s discovery of the murderous mechanism – which would go on to be labelled a system bug – would later be lauded as theoretically saving millions. Dour faced statisticians, however, would often be quick to point out that he may have also theoretically killed billions more.

    Whatever the case, it was yet another step completed in Joe’s rise to power, and the beginning of his renown as a lawman.

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FPGE16 – Fishing by John Donahue

    Welcome to Flash Pulp Guestisode sixteen.

    Flash PulpTonight we present Fishing by John Donahue, Part 1 of 1
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FPGuestisode016.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Mob

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight we present an excellent bit of guestery by John Donahue – a tale of unlikely encounters and the aquatic arcane. Many thanks, sir.

    Fishing by John Donahue

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

    Skinner Co.

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    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.