Category: Uncategorised

FC46 – Inappropriate Exposure

FC46 - Inappropriate Exposure
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast046.mp3](Download/iTunes)

Hello, and welcome to FlashCast episode forty-six – prepare yourself for dumpster diving, a secret love child, craigslist is murder, buskers, and Thomas Blackhall.

Pulp-ular Press

  • The Tower of Glim
  • Sticker contests for The Mob
  • Big thanks to Drabblecast and Colorado Joe!
  • Murderous craigslist jobs
  • Book art left in UK libraries
  • Bradbury lets Fahrenheit 451 go digital
  • Hammer Films selling print-on-demand posters
  • John Carter posters show Tharks, white apes
  • MI: Ghost Protocol rips off Kill Bill?
  • [youtube_sc url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAaWJKSw0po”]

  • Clark Gable & Loretta Young’s lovechild, Judy Lewis, dies
  • Will Benicio Del Toro be Khan?
  •  

    * * *

    A Spot of Bother:

    Find Jeff at @PleaseLynchMe or at the Spot of Bother Blog

    Read more at his site.
    Garbage Filtration Units

    * * *

    Curious Tales of Vienna:

    Find Ingrid at Dancing Ella’s WordsViennese Legends

    The Devil and the Bowyer’s wife

    The Devil and the Bowyer’s wife

    * * *

    Mailbag:

  • Rich the Time Traveler mentioned
  • Colorado Joe mentioned
  • * * *

    Art of Narration:

  • Opop mentioned Skinner Co. Ink!
  • * * *

    Backroom Plots:

  • FP225 – The Angler: a Blackhall Tale, Part 1 of 1
  • Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom (Part 1Part 2)
  • * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, call our voicemail line at (206) 338-2792, or email us text or mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    FP225 – The Angler: a Blackhall Tale, Part 1 of 1

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and twenty five.

    Flash PulpTonight we present, The Angler: a Blackhall Tale, Part 1 of 1.

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp225.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Nutty Bites.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, Thomas Blackhall, student of the occult and master frontiersman, awaits the arrival of a meal.

     

    The Angler: a Blackhall Tale, Part 1 of 1

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner & Opopanax
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    Thomas BlackhallAt the edge of White Creek, Miser Jenkins had taken up a hushed watch, with rod in hand. He’d spent the morning ignoring the fat flakes that drifted to the ground about him, as he knew that, despite the cold, the bass were just as in search of a meal as he.

    The fisherman had acquired his stingy condition honestly, having had to save coin, and bread crusts, to pay for his passage to York. Thereafter, he’d simply never forgotten the habit, and his half-full wicker creel stood as testament to his persistence.

    While allowing the fast moving stream to dance his bait, the old man had lost himself in consideration of the distances he’d come, but a fresh nibble at his line awoke him from his ruminations.

    Patience, however, was Jenkins’ particular talent, and he held his position without excitement.

    The sound of the flow running over the brook’s rocky protrusions remained steady, and a crow let his spectatorship be known from a nearby branch. Unflustered by the audience, and with only the slightest movement of his practiced hands, the miser gave his dead worm a tempting imitation life.

    Finally, as an extravagant mound of snowy fluff touched upon the water’s surface and collapsed, the rod bent strongly, and the trap was sprung.

    Seconds later Jenkins was triumphantly removing a wriggling specimen from his hook, and noting how, although no creek-catch is ever a feast in itself, this trophy seemed especially plump.

    While still smiling, the victor turned and spotted a naked boy, some hundred feet away, staring downstream from the far bank. The newcomer’s eyes were wide, and his mouth down-turned.

    The bald trees did nothing to hide the child’s tears from the crisp noonday sun.

    “What ails you?” asked the fisherman.

    The youth took a step backwards, setting a birch between himself and his interrogator.

    Miser began a slow approach, speaking in reassuring tones, and gathering the opinion that the stripling was likely one of the Ojibwa encamped in the area. He did wonder, though, that he did not recognize the face, as he was on good terms with the locals of the tribe.

    Then the weeping boy disappeared behind his thin barricade.

    Curious, Jenkins bridged the stream at a point where three broad stones provided a hopping passage, and pressed on.

    Upon arriving, he inspected the area, but could see no trace of the naked juvenile. The fallen leaves appeared undisturbed, and the water’s murmur covered any noises of flight.

    Turning towards his basket, however, Miser was brought up short.

    The boy was there, with both his hands wrapped around the satchel which contained Jenkins’ intended dinner. The angler once again set himself to hailing the stranger, but the lad’s pale bare-feet carried him rapidly into the woods.

    “Hey now!” shouted Jenkins, his stride picking up fervency.

    As he reached the site of his vigil, Miser caught a glimpse of bare shoulders ducking beyond a distant pine.

    He gave chase.

    The barren branches provided Jenkins visibility, but the grasping fingers also held back his thick coat, and snatched at his woolen hat. Twice he feared he’d lost the trail – on the first his transgressor’s nerve had broken, and he’d bolted from his hiding place beneath an evergreen, and, on the other, he’d simply caught sight of a leg as it topped a stone-pile.

    Even in his indignant anger, as he climbed the second obstacle, Jenkins spared a thought for the pains the boy must be suffering, rag-less and under such duress. Between huffing exhalations, he resolved to share some of his bounty – once he’d beaten an apology out of the miscreant.

    “Return my supper, you cheat,” shouted Jenkins, to no response.

    Achieving the short summit, Miser was presented with an unexpected scene: The mouth of a cave was gaping some twenty feet away, and, at the midpoint between himself and the maw, a large dead stag lay rotting.

    A pair of cedars stood as dying sentinels beside the opening, and, though it was expected that the season would be harsh for the timber, there was a discordance in the strained angles of their limbs which gave him pause.

    Yet, though the shadowy cavern provided no better welcome, Jenkins was intent on his prize, and it stood as the likely hiding place upon the small plateau. He moved forward with a reluctant boot, but, before its twin could follow, the decaying deer appeared to burst.

    The stranger rising from the gore-laden flap of animal hide was not what caused the majority of Miser’s concern, however – it was the lit dynamite, wrapped with gleaming wire, in the interloper’s grasp.

    The rocky hollow gave a booming wail, to which the explosive-wielding man responded with a strong arm.

    Even as the payload passed between the skewed cedars, the wide entrance shuttered itself, as if stone-lips slamming shut.

    Before Miser could consider retreat, there was a rumble, then silence.

    “I apologize for the surprise,” said the bomber, “I am Thomas Blackhall.”

    “Jenkins, but you’ll pardon if I don’t shake your hand at the meeting, you seem to have some venison affixed to your forearm.”

    “Apologies, as well, for my appearance. I’ve been lying within the foul beast for the last three nights, awaiting my opportunity.”

    “Opportunity?”

    “Aye,” replied Thomas, as he scraped rancid meat from his sleeve. “The hill fiend was wary, and only allowed itself to yawn wide as you approached. It had forgotten about my presence, I feel sure, but such creatures don’t grind their way across the landscape for millenia without some cunning. Whatever the case, the scattering of the binding about my munition ended its slow hunt – silver is noxious to the things.”

    Jenkins found a stone, a good ways apart from the deer carcass, and took a seat.

    “It is too much for me, sir,” he said, “and I must confess I do not quite understand.”

    Thomas nodded.

    “If you’d entered the cave, what you considered the roof would have rapidly descended, leaving you little more than a paste filling the gaps and crevices about the floor. Then, as the soil does, it would consume your remains over time, as your body naturally crumbled. Such is nearly what happened to my place of shelter. Although the stag did manage to escape, the ripping loss of his rear limbs was too much, and it was dead before long.”

    “- but what of the boy?” asked Miser, with a rasp in his tone.

    Blackhall retrieved a water-tight pouch from within his pockets, and began pinching tobacco into a fine rectangle of paper.

    “A phantasm wrought by arcane instinct,” he replied. “For the stag it was a doe, for you, a thief; the right lure for the job. Return to your lost goods, they likely remain where you believe you left them.”

    “What fiendish cunning!”

    “It is interesting how often the need for sustenance teaches cleverness. I rather suspect it is the case that, in truth, it had no more intelligence than an arachnid spinning a web, and held no more malice than an angler upon a stream.”

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FC45 – Just the Tip

    FC45 - Just the Tip
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast045.mp3](Download/iTunes)

    Hello, and welcome to FlashCast episode forty-five – prepare yourself for dogs, Martians, sleep texting, Goodfellas, a monk powered airship, and Mulligan Smith.

    Pulp-ular Press

  • Ferdinandia
  • Sticker contests for The Mob
  • JRD’s Movember Page
  • Loyal Dog Won’t Leave Owner’s Grave
  • Hungry Dogs Eat Owner
  • Moore & Lloyd talk about the V for Vendetta Guy Fawkes mask
  • Westeros Heraldry
  • Game of Thrones Blu-ray info
  • Some John Carter photos have begun to show up
  • The Prometheus trailer has been yanked at every source.
  •  

    * * *

    A Spot of Bother:

    Find Jeff at @PleaseLynchMe or at the Spot of Bother Blog

    Read more at his site.
    Sleep Texting

    * * *

    Fresh Fish, with Threedayfish

    Contact Fish at his Facebook Page or on Twitter.

    This week’s review, The Room

    [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCj8sPCWfUw]

    * * *

    New York Minute:

    Find Barry at http://bmj2k.com or on twitter
    Goodfellas

    * * *

    Curious Tales of Vienna:

    Find Ingrid at Dancing Ella’s WordsViennese Legends

    The Flying Ship

    The Flying Ship

    * * *

    Mailbag:

  • Mobster David “Doc Blue” Wendt was mentioning his work on an RPG, Empire State, which looks like a lot of fun.
  • Colorado Joe mentioned
  • * * *

    Art of Narration:

  • Opop mentioned Skinner Co. Ink!
  • * * *

    Backroom Plots:

  • FP222 – Coffin: Food for Thought, Part 1 of 1
  • Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom (Part 1Part 2)
  • * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, call our voicemail line at (206) 338-2792, or email us text or mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    FP224 – Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom, Part 2 of 2

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and twenty four.

    Flash PulpTonight we present, Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom, Part 2 of 2.
    (Part 1Part 2)
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp224.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Nutty Bites.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, Mulligan Smith, private investigator, meets Mr. Charles Barger.

     

    Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom, Part 2 of 2

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner & Opopanax
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    Mulligan SmithThe bottomless nature of the elder Smith’s contacts had never ceased to amaze his son. The old man had assured him, at length, of the skill of the bush pilot, who’d introduced herself as Molly. It was not her abilities, however, that troubled the detective – it was his father’s insinuation about finding a nice girl and settling down.

    The aviator hardly seemed the type, however. Dual buns had always put Mulligan in mind of Princess Leia or raver-kids, but the woman wore them strikingly, and the only image she conjured was that of a feudal warrior princess prepared for battle.

    The rough-weathered flight came after a seven hour drive, and Smith was grinding at his chewing gum as the wings dipped below the shadows of the pines that flanked their wet landing strip.

    Once the plane had puttered to an engine-less coast, he exhaled.

    “Handy bit of work,” he said.

    Molly smiled and ushered him onto his pontoon.

    As he finished inflating his dingy, he considered briefly that he might be taking on something worse than usual, but, as Mulligan pushed off, he wore a smirk: After the pilot had tossed his bags into the boat’s bottom, she’d retrieved a fishing rod to pass the wait.

    Then, for a while, his only focus was rowing, and the glowing cigarette she’d hand-rolled as he’d prepared for departure.

    The satellite maps he’d inspected before leaving had shown him a largely circular island, but the grainy resolution they provided for such a rural location made it impossible to identify the green-gray blobs that made up the isle’s interior.

    For a time he could navigate only by compass and the light of his cellphone, which was as extensive a use as he was able to make of the electronic device, as there was no signal to be had.

    An hour into his journey, the heavy clouds burst, and Smith began to curse endlessly between his clenched teeth.

    His arms were aching, and he was beginning to think he might have gotten off track, when a ring of stadium-lights suddenly engaged, three-hundred yards away.

    Digging for a second wind, Mulligan pumped hard, and was breathing raggedly when he finally dragged his rubber raft ashore.

    As he’d done dozens of times earlier in the day, he considered why Olivia Barger might be working so hard to allow herself plausible deniability. Was the island a sex-slave harem? Some sort of drug operation?

    He knew he was getting closer, but still didn’t have the data to decide.

    The massive lights made it easy enough to stroll through the wooded strip which marched along the shore, but he soon encountered a high metal fence, beyond which was little but open grass. Smith guess he might be able to climb the barrier, but, in going over the top, he’d be easily spotted by anyone watching from beyond.

    On the far side of the illuminated circle lurked a sprawling house. Though Mulligan could smell drifting smoke from a fire, the tall rows of windows stood dark and empty.

    He was shielding his eyes against the overhead glare, and considering his options, when he noticed a large heap at the mid-point between himself and the cottage. At first he thought the mass inert, but soon he realized it was breathing.

    He followed the bars to a better vantage point, which allowed him to make out just what the lump was: A rhinoceros, wheezing rhythmically as it drew in air.

    The door at the opposite end of the field opened, and five men exited. Four were dressed in black suits, and each held a shotgun. Smith wondered briefly if such a thing would be required, as any one of them looked built to wrestle the rhino to the ground using only his bare hands.

    Mulligan recognized the fifth as Mr. Charles Barger, despite the circle of green paint he’d spread over his face, and the red X he’d emblazoned across his chest.

    The wing of bodyguards leveled their weapons in the general direction of the animal, but it was obvious to Smith, from the behemoth’s lack of reaction to the new arrivals, that there was likely enough sedative in the brute’s bloodstream to kill a small family.

    Although the pictures of Barger had always portrayed a solid-head of silver hanging atop a pearly white smile, Mulligan realized then that he’d never seen the man in anything but full business attire.

    Years of monomaniacal desk work had left his arms little more than straw spokes projecting from a sunken ribcage, giving the detective the impression of a large melon perched perilously on a straw.

    Under the unyielding fluorescents, Smith could make out the goosebumps which covered Barger’s milky white body, and the shake in the rich-man’s arms as he extracted the machete from the sheath at his side.

    As his protection maintained a respectful distance, Charles approached the gasping giant. His first swings against the slumberer brought only a trickle of blood, but he found better purchase at the animal’s throat.

    The butchering was a messy one, filled with panting, cussing, and unpredictable gouts of gore being carried away on the back swing.

    It was another thirty minutes before the beast finally fell silent.

    Sweating, it’s supposed conqueror lay the end of his blade into the chaos of exposed fat and flesh, like Merlin placing the sword in the stone, but the implement immediately sagged to the left, falling free from its resting place.

    Barger, who had turned back to his accompaniment, seemed to catch a look of question on the face of one of his bald-pated retinue.

    “This was the last of the Western Black Rhinos,” screamed the adrenaline-flushed Charles, “I’ve just ended a species here – do you understand the power in that?”

    “No boss,” said the muscle.

    “Of course you don’t,” replied Barger. His face took on a lunatic’s grin, and Smith was left wondering if the same high-powered mixologist who’d pacified the sacrifice had also provided some chemical courage to the billionaire’s arm.

    The silver-haired bobblehead cackled.

    * * *

    As he finally approached his ride home, Mulligan found that Molly had replaced her rod with a rifle.

    “You took a long time,” she said.

    “Nice to see you were worried,” he replied.

    Their flight home was silent.

    * * *

    At noon, the following day, Smith was threading between mall pedestrians on his way to a bank kiosk. As he passed an electronic store’s television display, he noted that the twenty-four-hour news networks were still running an endless loop of Barger’s feeble opening assault on the rhino’s skull, followed by a close up of the businessman’s sneering painted-face.

    The only satisfaction Mulligan found in it, however, was that, for once, his paycheck wouldn’t bounce.

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FP223 – Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom, Part 1 of 2

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and twenty three.

    Flash PulpTonight we present, Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom, Part 1 of 2.
    (Part 1Part 2)
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp223.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Jimmy and the Black Wind.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, Mulligan Smith, private investigator, finds himself nearly in the company of the obscenely wealthy.

     

    Mulligan Smith in The Master of the Wild Kingdom, Part 1 of 2

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner & Opopanax
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    Mulligan SmithMulligan’s troubles began when the first courier found him at the entrance to his preferred 7-Eleven. The helmeted youth had stopped him short on the curb before the PI had had time to take the opening sip of his slurpee.

    “I’ve been looking all over for you. They said you might be here though. Mulligan, right?” asked the eighteen-year-old on the bicycle.

    “Yeah,” replied Smith.

    “They described you to a T, man. Said you’d have the hoodie on and everything. Got some ID?”

    “Who described me?”

    “Hell if I know his name. One of the fat cats up the food chain.”

    The PI displayed his driver’s license, and was handed an envelope for his trouble.

    As the pedaller moved back into traffic, Mulligan ripped open his delivery.

    He’d expected some contract paperwork from a client, but, instead, he found non-refundable, round trip plane-tickets to Orlando, a printed confirmation for a pre-paid hotel room, and a pass for a courtside seat to watch the Magic play the Heat.

    Smith stood for a time, savouring his beverage.

    Finally, with a shrug, he pulled his car keys from his pocket.

    After double-checking the travel bag he kept in the Tercel’s trunk, he made for the airport.

    * * *

    Smith had never been much of a basketball fan, but the intensity of the game had drawn him in. Better yet, after returning to his hotel room, he’d discovered a convention’s worth of plastics engineers occupying the bar, and he’d spent the remainder of the evening learning the oddities of the industry.

    The next morning, as he boarded his return flight with a slight hangover, he found his ticket had bumped to first class. His interest was piqued, but he felt little concern about the situation – few of his enemies had this kind of cash to waste.

    Twenty minutes into the flight, a trimly suited man with curly brown hair gave him a friendly wave. His mouth smiled, but the eyes behind his sharp-lined glasses did not.

    Before Mulligan could consider approaching him, the man indicated the safety card the PI had studiously ignored at takeoff.

    Leaning forward, Smith found his seat-back pocket bulging.

    Within was a small tape recorder, heavily covered in duct tape. At first pressing play seemed to provide no result, but, by holding it directly to his ear, Mulligan found he could hear a voice beneath the grinding wheels of the player.

    He punched the decrepit technology’s rewind button, and tried again.

    “Hello,” said the tape, “I am Mr. Jeff. Do not approach me, or I will void the cheque I have paper-clipped to your emergency guide. I am working on behalf of Mrs. Olivia Barger, although all of your payments will be signed as a consultation fee from Good Homes Plastics – which is to say, I have been directed to inform you of your employment.

    “Mrs. Barger would also like to apologize for the theater required in this hiring, but it is necessary. It would be much to my employer’s benefit to have hidden her true identity, but she feels it is imperative that you understand the danger related to this undertaking. She knows all too well what kind of pains her soon-to-be-former husband might inflict.

    “You will be examining Mr. Charles Barger for any sort of impropriety which he might find embarrassing during his turbulent divorce trial.

    “We hope that you appreciate that explaining away dead investigators is the worst sort of media attention.

    “You will not record this tape. When we land, you will leave the player on your seat and debark. Failure to follow instructions will result in immediate contract termination.

    “Once certain conditions, which I can not discuss, have been confirmed, you will be provided further guidance.

    “It is a pleasure doing business with you.”

    The Bargers were constant news fodder, and Mulligan knew that Olivia would easily be the richest client he’d ever taken on. He’d read much about the supposedly underhanded dealings of the plastics giant, including the Internet rumours regarding the hooker he’d supposedly had turned into a statue of herself, but he’d never had business with the family.

    Still, the cheque was for ten grand. He decided to take it as vacation pay.

    * * *

    Three days later, as Smith exited his father’s apartment building, the second courier arrived..

    After the dance of identification was complete, Mulligan ripped open the newest envelope.

    Though it was unsigned, he could not help but read it in Mr. Jeff’s even tone.

    “Hello Mr. Smith,

    “It was great to see you at the Plastics Showcase. Attached, please find your speaking fee.I’ve also included information regarding the island you were asking after, and took the liberty of setting up a viewing tomorrow, at midnight. Please approach quietly, the inhabitants do not enjoy the company of strangers.”

    At the bottom of the paper was a set of GPS coordinates, but there were no travel arrangements attached, simply a cashier’s cheque for fifty grand.

    Smith turned and went back upstairs.

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FP222 – Coffin: Food for Thought, Part 1 of 1

    Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and twenty two.

    Flash PulpTonight we present, Coffin: Food for Thought.

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp222.mp3]Download MP3
    (RSS / iTunes)

     

    This week’s episodes are brought to you by Jimmy and the Black Wind.

     

    Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

    Tonight, urban shaman, Will Coffin, and his soggy roommate, Bunny, encounter an arcane predator.

     

    Coffin: Food for Thought, Part 1 of 1

    Written by J.R.D. Skinner
    Art and Narration by Opopanax
    and Audio produced by Jessica May

     

    Will CoffinBy the age of fifteen, Mila Da Silva’s learning impediment had left her in a classroom surrounded by children half her age. The rural school she’d been attending had no budget to allocate to her special needs, and her parents had little money to invest in giving her a better education.

    On Mila’s sixteenth birthday, Rosalia Da Silva, her mother, decided the embarrassment was enough, and that her wide-eyed child could be taught nothing more.

    The trouble began three months later, while the pair were on a day trip to the nearby ruin of a former church. Decades previous, well after being decommissioned, the building had burned to the ground. The stone walls still stood, however, and the open air of the interior made for an agreeable picnic spot.

    As Mother Da Silva searched a battered paperback for her dog-eared page, Mila walked the stone pathway which marked the main aisle of the former holy site. n

    Drifting through a door-less arch, the girl began counting off the weathered graves which lay at the rear of the building. She wandered the rows for some time, but consistently lost her tally at twelve.

    The occult parasite did not care about the significance of the location; it knew only what it required to survive. Instinct and necessity had informed its decision to spring from its long slumber, but, eve as it settled into the innocent’s flesh, it knew it had made a fortunate leap.

    As her fingers traced the cold name of a dead man, Mila paid no notice to the itch above her left ear.

    Shortly after, Rosalia completed her chapter, and rose with a satisfied burp.

    * * *

    Headaches became a regular complaint for the girl, and Oscar Da Silva’s patience quickly wore thin. He’d long wished for a second child, but had never tried, for fear of receiving another like his first, and his animosity found focus in his daughter’s sobbing moans.

    Mila increasingly spent her days in her room, and she passed the the hours watching Sesame Street or crying.

    Her dreams became unpleasant. In her youth she’d been a sound sleeper, but weekly, then nightly, she would raise the Da Silva household with her wailing.

    In the beginning, the nightmares took the form of memories from her schooldays. Most often it was the intrusion of the mocking laughter of young children into an otherwise benign scenario: She would be sitting at the kitchen table, counting how many cards made up one of Rosalina’s solitaire pyramids, when a whispered taunt would seem to come from behind her. Turning, a horde of children stood, pointing. As she made eye contact, the snickers would begin, and the slumberer would find herself surrounded. She might push through the crowds which lined kitchen, or which lounged, with dangling feet, on the brown counters, but she would locate no respite until she awoke.

    When the grace of consciousness was finally granted, it came with an unstoppable lungful of air escaping her throat like a steam-whistle.

    * * *

    Mila’s understanding of her independence was limited, but, at the stroke of midnight on her eighteenth birthday, she crept from the house. Her hitchhiking was endorsed by a well meaning, but misguided, farm hand, and, before sundown, she was in Capital City.

    She’d once visited the metropolis in her youth, and she’d been confident that she’d retained enough to allow her to move easily between the glittering mall and the building full of rooms at which they’d stayed on her expedition with Mom and Pop.

    It was a hard lesson for her that the beds weren’t free, and her confused questions went un-tolerated by the hotel security staff.

    By dawn her feet were tired and her eyelids heavy. Sitting on a bench, she nodded off. When she awoke, her luggage was gone.

    Twelve months of street dirt formed a caked nest over the wriggling protrusion that projected from above her ear, and the fattening parasite grew to the size of a yellow thumb-tip.

    The new friends Mila made paid little attention to her cycle of shrieking and weeping – many of them were engaged in their own personal battles, and felt ill suited to judge. Like most of her new comrades, she medicated herself heavily with cheap vodka, but it was she alone who witnessed the hallucinations which began to assault her waking hours – soon she found herself at constant war with insects that went otherwise unseen by her fellow indigents.

    One December evening, as she loitered outside the Salvation Army outpost on Seventh Street, she was approached by a rail-thin man. She’d seen him around previously, but they’d never spoken directly.

    “Rug-bone was telling me you were having some funny dreams,” he said.

    “Yeah,” she said. Her head was aching at the time, and it made it difficult to focus.

    “Think you could repeat ‘em to a guy I know? I heard you were a tough case, but I think he might be able to help. He’ll still pay for a decent dinner, even if he can’t.”

    She didn’t bother raising her hopes beyond a burger, but that seemed reward enough.

    * * *

    They met in a Wendy’s. She’d always liked the pigtailed mascot a lot more than Ronald McDonald, and they’d left the choice up to her.

    Mila had been displeased to learn what a dirty talker the woman who joined them was, but the man in the leather jacket, which her companion had introduced as Coffin, was polite, if quiet. Oddly, when the pair had entered, the illusionary beetles, whose chittering had become her constant soundtrack, and whose unrelenting approach had often made it impossible for her to eat, disappeared.

    This had left the girl feeling especially sad. The pain in her skull was becoming overwhelming, and she was sure she’d begin howling shortly, as it was her only release, but she knew, from Long experience, that such a shriek would push away her well-wishers.

    “Tell me about your dreams,” said Coffin.

    “They’ve gotten badder and badder,” she replied, focusing hard on the words, and away from the misery that inhabited her skull. “The ones that are nice are when I get a rope, and put it around my neck and jump from the edge of the parking structure on third street. Thinking about it makes me scared, but it’s always so peaceful in my dreams. The bad ones – sometimes I’m sliding down the staircase at my grandma’s house, and I get near the bottom and someone’s put a bunch of razorblades in the banister, and I can’t stop, and I can feel my legs and belly all cut up, but there’s nothing I can do, ‘cause the blood just makes me slide faster.

    ”Sometimes its Papa hitting me – he punches me over and over in the same place, and it aches so much, and Mama is always at the door telling me I’m a bad person. He stops if I cry loud enough. He tells me he’s sorry, and asks if I wanna come home. Then, when I say yes, he slaps me again, and Mom laughs.

    “Most of the time I’m lying in the alley though, and the dogs are eating me, and it hurts, but I don’t care anymore, I just want to be dead.”

    Across he booth, Coffin nodded, and his partner nodded.

    “Do you remember when it started? Was there a pain on your scalp somewhere?” he asked.

    It was too far back, and she couldn’t recall. She shrugged. Her burger was done, and Mila began to wonder when the strangers would finally tell her they couldn’t help, so that she could leave behind the stares of the four-member family on the far side of the dinning area.

    Coffin tried a different question. “Can I have a quick look at your head?”

    Although Mila felt some consternation at the idea, as she’d been wearing, for some time, a beanie to hide her lack of a bath, she consented.

    “It’s called a Suicide Maggot. Part of a larger hive, but the rest are probably centuries dead. Who knows how this one managed to turn up. If you don’t catch it early, it’ll burrow down and start feeding on your cerebrospinal fluid. Puts little hooks into your gray-meat and pulls your strings until you off yourself – usually in a manner of its suggestion, which means no damage to your noggin. It’s basically a parasite that makes your brain try to reject your body like its a shoddy organ transplant.

    “They aren’t strong enough to win out while you’re alive, but if you’d tied off to that car park and jumped, it would’ve stolen your cranium as soon as you were cold and alone. They’re the size of a flea when they start, but, after adequate feeding, they’ll make off with your skull, like a hermit crab.”

    None of the explanation made sense to Mila, and she wasn’t sure if this meant she was now free to go. The pain was becoming tremendous, and she didn’t want to upset these people, who obviously meant well.

    Coffin continued.

    “The solution’s pretty simple, you can either dunk your head in a bathtub for a couple hours, or try some Chinese cupping – either way, its oxygen will run short, and the bugger will extract itself in search of air. Back in the day, they used to just grab em with tongs and yank, but that wouldn’t do your thought processes much good.

    “In an odd sense, it’s almost best that you were so neglected, although I’m sure that’s little comfort when you’re sleeping on a bench. If they’d pulled it, you’d have been a vegetable. On the other hand, had someone cared sufficiently, they might have found me years ago – this thing must be the size of a fat man’s thumb.”

    “What?” asked the lost Da Silva.

    The woman with the whisky breath leaned forward and placed a hand on the girl’s own.

    “He can kill the grubby mind-####er,” said the drunk, “then, when the screaming’s over for good, we’ll see about getting you some new chums, and a warm bed. Your gonna be okay.”

    For the first time in years, Mila’s tears stemmed from joy, and not agony.

     

    Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    Freesound.org credits:

    Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

    – and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

    FC44 – Bimbos of the Death Sun

    FlashCast 44 - Bimbos of the Death Sun
    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast044.mp3](Download/iTunes)

    Hello, and welcome to FlashCast episode forty-four – prepare yourself for Bimbos of the Death Sun, Richard Pryor’s Star Wars, gold plated Iguana guns, Christopher Walken, and Mulligan Smith.

    Pulp-ular Press

  • Night of the Iguana guns
  • Sticker contests for The Mob
  • JRD’s Movember Page
  • Moonrunners/Dukes of Hazzard
  • Robert mentioned Resurrection Mary
  • [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBHbCCBFygs]

  • Richard Pryor’s Star Wars
  • [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kJkhEcQ44k]

  • Phantom, the haunted sub movie
  • Authorities reopen probe into Natalie Wood’s 1981 drowning death
  • ‘Great Train Robber’ Ronnie Biggs launches memoir
  • Grisham’s The Litigators
  •  

    * * *

    A Spot of Bother:

    Find Jeff at @PleaseLynchMe or at the Spot of Bother Blog

    Read more at his site.
    CB I Hate Perfume

    * * *

    Fresh Fish, with Threedayfish

    Contact Fish at his Facebook Page or on Twitter.

    This week’s review, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

    [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1OHXR63a38]

    * * *

    New York Minute:

    Find Barry at http://bmj2k.com or on twitter
    Sandy Koufax

    [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f9YmJjdpGI]

    * * *

    Mailbag:

  • Rich mentioned:
  • Great little geek clip:
  • [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xruJ10C19U]

    * * *

    Art of Narration:

  • Opop mentioned Skinner Co. Ink!
  • * * *

    Backroom Plots:

    Mulligan Smith in The Pinch (Part 1Part 2Part 3)

    * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, call our voicemail line at (206) 338-2792, or email us text or mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

    A Haunting: My True Story

    Unrelated, but my grandmother would have called this a crick.Last Wednesday night, the house was silent.

    I’d just set my iPhone’s alarm. I was well situated in bed, and slowly descending into a haze of unconsciousness. At the edge of my darkening senses, I noticed a slight disturbance.

    “Hert tort murdatort,” it said.

    The noise briefly tickled me awake, but I soon succumbed to sleep’s gravity.

    Friday, I was up late. I killed the Netflix window on my laptop, waited out the shut down process, and closed the lid; checked the locks, brushed my teeth, turned off the lights, cracked the window.

    Bedtime.

    “Blurgen murgle gomtorl,” said a nearly inaudible voice.

    After a moment’s consideration, I came to the conclusion that one of our neighbours, an elderly pair of ex-bankers, was also burning the midnight oil. My mind floated a note of concern – Mr. Banker had recently fought off cancer, and had had the situation compounded by a heart problem. Nine days earlier, we’d seen him wheeled from his home on a stretcher.

    I couldn’t help but recall my own grandfather, who’d spent his last week in a darkened room with a murmuring television. He’d only been waiting at that point.

    “Dor blor quant,” said the ghostly TV.

    I went to bed.

    Yesterday morning I’d intended to rise at the usual time, but, as my iPhone began to bleat the theme to The Monkees, I punched the snooze button. Ten more minutes seemed a critical necessity.

    I found, however, that I couldn’t quite recapture my slumber.

    “Tolk borl gumshaw,” remarked the apparition.

    Though I couldn’t make out the words, the cadence was familiar: A morning news anchor, small talking.

    In the days of my youth I’d awoken often to the sound at my grandparents’ farm. I’d never been successful in rising before either of them, and would often steal some last minute warmth from the blankets while listening to a similar muttering from the kitchen. This memory brought to mind the smell of baking bread and freshly made porridge – staples of my weekend visits.

    Realizing my catnap was a failure, I braced myself, then rose from the bed.

    The window was closed. It was an odd thing, as I like to sleep in a chill, and usually leave it slightly ajar.

    It also meant the disembodied voice couldn’t be emanating from next door.

    “Gurkle murk,” said the spook.

    That’s when I realized it wasn’t my ailing neighbour which was haunting me: It was my own toddlers. Turning to our nearly abandoned alarm clock, the settings of which had obviously been knocked awry by tiny fingers, I wheeled up the volume and turned off the chattering radio.