Tag: fiction

FP200 – The Death of Ruby, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Death of Ruby, Part 1 of 1

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Tonight’s episode is brought to you by The Mob.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby meets her end.

 

The Death of Ruby, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Narration by Peter Church
with Additional voices by Opopanax, and Dancing Ella
Art by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

RubyThe party was a quiet affair, just her son, his new fiancee, her parents, and a few friends from town. They’d all parked along the double-rutted lane before entering the yard of her home – one of the last to be able to claim to be truly rural in New York state – and were now seated in the plastic white lawn-chairs she’d scattered around the fire pit.

Her knee had ached as she mounted the trio of steps that led to her patio, and pushed aside the sliding screen door she used to enter the kitchen. She’d been seeking the double stack of red plastic cups that she’d picked up for the occasion, in preparation for dispensing the rummy punch Maggie had constructed.

Turning back to the party, with cups in hand, she had paused at the exit, watching Maggie The Server stiffly trundling around the group with the cheese and cracker plate.

It was while tearing open the transparent wrapper that Ruby spotted the intruder moving into the half-circle of chatting well-wishers.

“No,” she said, “no, damn you, no.”

She’d heard the story only two nights before – a former lover of her son’s chosen, unrelenting in his refusal to accept her spurning. The girl had told the tale with tears in her eyes.

The newcomer ratcheted the shotgun in his hands, and all talk ceased.

Dropping the cups, the aging woman sprinted to her living room.

Outside the home, the gate-crasher made his intentions clear. Without breaking for explanation, he leveled his weapon at Mr. McReardon and fired. The proud father’s lawn chair toppled backwards, and the dying man’s brown trouser legs twitched briefly before halting all movement.

“Angie,” said the gunman, turning on the freshly engaged woman. “This is all your -”

Barefoot, Ruby made no effort to check her momentum as she plunged through the screen door.

For a moment she almost seemed to shift in time: There was no more bad knee, there was no sleeping in on high thread-count sheets, there was no escape – there was only Bethany, snatched down from her place on the mantle, and a threat – always a threat – with no answer but the blade.

Somewhere, she thought she might have heard the old General howl.

It was only as the mad woman cleared the end of the deck in a single bound, and came pounding the turf in his direction, that the intruder managed to convince himself of the reality of the situation.

He pulled the trigger, finally, sending burning buckshot into her ribcage, but she briefly shrugged off the effect.

Then she did what she’d always done, and cleaved his skull.

Ruby’s last living sight was of the wind ruffling the elms she’d planted thirty-five years earlier.

* * *

She woke with Bethany in her hands.

There was a thin faced woman leaning over her, whose eyes moved continuously between her own and the door of the small thatched hut in which they were seated.

To Ruby, it seemed not as if she’d woken from a dream, but more as if she’d been distracted during a conversation, and could no longer remember what the topic had been before a sudden interruption.

“What?” she asked.

Her custodian smiled.

“Valhalla – where those who’ve died gloriously are taken.”

“I – huh.”

Ruby was surprised to see she was wearing jeans and a t-shirt she’d lost in the early days of the zombie plague, and she wondered briefly what her reflection would reveal should she encounter a mirror.

There were more pressing questions, however.

“Who are you?”

“Most call me Katharina Pfiati, although I was once known simply as The Butcher,” replied her thin-faced companion.”

“The Butcher?”

“Yes, there was a night upon which I laid to rest twenty men.”

“Twenty? How?”

“Very quietly.”

The conversation’s lull allowed Ruby to note the gunfire in the distance.

“I’ve seen Jacob’s Ladder,” she said. “Is this just some crazy last-hurrah rollercoaster ride my brain is giving me while I bleed out on the lawn? Am I about to die hallucinating? Is this world just built on adrenaline and shock? ”

Before her companion could answer, the cloth blocking her view to the exterior shifted aside, and a man in a slightly vintage US Marine uniform stepped into the room.

“Nah, the world’s real enough,” he replied. “It’s a bit like a quilt, stitched out of all the notable battlefields. It loops, though – or maybe it’s just round. I once convinced a guy to give me a ride in his sabre jet, and we spent the day doing laps. It took about eight hours to fly across, if my watch is to be trusted. On the other hand, the landscape tends to move every now and then, so don’t get too comfortable with any mental maps you might build.

“As to the rest, well, you’re already dead, so you ain’t likely to get much deader. You’re also late, which is sort of weird, but sometimes the valkyries like to take the long way home.

”Name’s Jenkins, by the way – Cutter or Leroy, whichever you prefer.”

Despite her ghostly status, Ruby found his handshake reassuringly solid.

“Time to go meet the boss,” said Cutter.

“Boss?” she asked. She’d never been a fan of being told what to do.

Jenkins caught the tone in her voice. “Oh, he’s nice enough. Some of the old timers have a problem with him – apparently he’s only been in management of the place for the last couple hundred years – but Blackhall’s a solid guy.”

The words made little sense to Ruby, but, as the trio strolled through the smoking remains of a formerly grassy field, it seemed that there would be plenty of time for explanations.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPGE6 – Not My Line of Work, by Dean Bryant Johnson

Welcome to Flash Pulp Guest-isode 6.

Flash PulpTonight we present Not My Line of Work, by Dean Bryant Johnson

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpGE6.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episode is brought to you by The Charred Tree.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we present a tale of professions and professionalism.

 

Not My Line of Work, by Dean Bryant Johnson

Written by Dean Bryant Johnson
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

CoffinGiselle stamped from the room and slammed the door. Hamm was fairly certain this was the first time he had ever seen a dame stamp her way from any room so effectively while wearing six-inch heels. Sure, some had tried but it’s difficult to take a mad woman seriously when she’s waving her arms around like a ceiling fan trying to keep her balance. But Giselle…Giselle had pulled it off. Walked those gams across the floor as graceful as you please, flung open the door without a moment’s hesitation, and slammed it so the glass rattled violently in its frame; the last letter slipped and nearly fell. He’d have to fix that. It was already a challenge to get paying clients to take him seriously with a name like Hamm Packer; he could only image the snickering his colleagues would send into their sleeves if that second m disappeared. The thought made him frown.

“Fer cryin’ out loud!” he said under his breath as he stood and began to cross the sparsely furnished office to repair the lettering. Hamm froze when a loose floorboard creaked. He hadn’t heard the elevator groan its way to the main floor yet so Giselle was likely still in the hallway. The last thing he needed was for her to come back—while she’s a looker, the only thing he really wanted at this point was for her check to clear the bank—so he stopped and waited quietly for the aging machinery to announce the all clear. After thirty seconds of agonizing silence Hamm heard the elevator screech open, crisp footsteps walking into it, and the screech in reverse as the car closed. He felt more than heard the elevator descend to the first floor. He straightened the last letter of his first name and pressed as hard as he dared. There, that’s better—Hamm Packer, Private Investigator.

The telephone rang as he returned to his desk. He lifted the receiver while reaching for a pencil. “Packer.”

“Mr. Packer. Good. You’re still there. I need to see you as soon as possible.” Her voice was calm but painted with a layer of urgency. A bit of an accent—too little to reliably identify—gave her voice an exotic sound. Hamm looked at his watch—8:37.

“Well, I was about to turn the lock and call it a night. How does tomorrow sound?” The day had started with an ugly hairball left by an ill-tempered cat on the bathmat and had ended with an angry client with legs up to here nearly destroying the entry to his place of business. Best to not push his luck and start over in the morning.

“Oh! That’s no good. I’m leaving by the early train. Can’t you please help me? Can I buy you dinner while I explain my problem?” Her voice dripped anxiety with an edge of desperation.

Work hadn’t exactly been beating a path to his threshold lately and the bank account could always use some more dough. Worst case? Tuck away some groceries and hear someone’s story. Maybe he could do something, maybe not. It could be worse—most clients would never even consider buying him a meal.

“You know a place called Dorset’s Tavern, Miss…..?”

“Ortice. Antonia Ortice, Mr. Packer. And yes, I know where it is. Would you like me to meet you there?” Hamm could almost feel the gratitude pouring through the phone line.

“No! No, not there. That’s not a good place for us to talk business.” The few times Hamm had walked by Dorset’s, the hairs on his neck had stood on end. Something seemed to warn respectable people away from that place. “Opposite side of the street and at the other end of the block is The Stockyard Grill. I hope steak is fine with you.” Hell, when a client offers to buy you a meal, you treat yourself to something a little better than a bag of cheese doodles and a slurpee.

Two hours later Hamm Packer pushed away the large plate that held only a bone and the wreckage of a much-abused baked potato. He sipped his iced tea and looked over the edge of the glass at Antonia Ortice. He was glad he had let her buy him a steak because he certainly wasn’t gonna take this case.

“So let me get this straight. Your father died a few days ago and now he’s haunting you. But before he died he told you that some heirloom piece of jewelry could protect you?” Nope. Saying it aloud didn’t make it any less insane. Glad this place was getting ready to close—fewer people around to hear the crazy-talk.

“Not him alone, Mr. Packer–all of them. Every one of my Ortice ancestors. My father’s journal says it will begin with the first new moon after his death, so I have less than a month to find this thing and reclaim my life.” Antonia closed her eyes. Her fingers pinched and caressed the ridge between her eyes and she shook her head. “I know it sounds preposterous. I don’t want this to happen to me. I have a life of my own, dammit! I don’t need the dead bothering me.” She slammed her fist on the table. The flatware and her untouched water jumped with the impact.

“Look, Miss Ortice, I’m gonna be straight with you. I could use the money—really, I could—and I might even be able to find this brooch or pin or whatever it is for you, although I wouldn’t make any promises on that. I couldn’t help you on the mumbo-jumbo part of it. I have no idea where to begin and I’m not even convinced I believe in such things.” He folded his hands on top of the wadded napkin in front of his plate. “I’m sorry, Ma’am. I can’t take your case.”

Antonia’s gaze fell to her lap. “Thank you for your honesty, Mr. Packer. I appreciate that you at least took the time to hear my explanation of the situation.” A tear slid down her cheek as she handed her credit card to the waitress. “What I should do next?”

“Let me give it some thought.” He swirled the ice and the last half inch of tea in the glass. “I’ve heard rumors of a guy here in the city that dabbles in magic and voodoo…that kind of stuff.” Hamm retrieved a small spiral pad and a pencil from his jacket and made a note. “Might also check with some of my other contacts. If nothing else maybe they can get me a line on Mr. Bedknobs-n-Broomsticks.”

The waitress–her barely legible name tag proclaimed her to be Vera–returned with Antonia’s credit card and the slip for her to sign. “Can I get you folks anything else?”

“No. No thank you. Everything was wonderful.” Antonia said it by rote while she figured the tip.

“Um…if you don’t mind my saying….” Vera whispered. Packer could tell by her body language that she was nervous to say anything so he smiled to reassure her and motioned for her to continue. “I couldn’t help but hear you discussing the ghost and magic fella. You looking for him?”

“Yes we are, Vera. Do you know where we might find him?” Packer had learned to keep the tone conversational. Sources tended to make like a clam if they thought they were being interrogated.

“He’s called Coffin. Don’t think I ever heard anyone use a given name for him, not that you’d need one with a something as memorable as that. You can usually find him at Dorset’s a couple nights a week.” She indicated the direction with a general wave. “Strange place that but it seems to suit Mr. Coffin. If he’s not there I bet old Dorset could point you in the right direction.”

“Thank you, Vera. You’ve been very helpful.” Hamm extended his hand. Vera shook it and left with the signed credit slip. “I hope you tipped her well, Miss Ortice, ‘cause she just answered your question of what to do next.”

“That’s near here, isn’t it? Can we go now?” Antonia clasped his arm as she spoke.

“Absolutely.” Packer drained the last of his tea before placing the empty glass next to his plate. “Let’s go.”

They stepped into Dorset’s and it was what Hamm would have expected had he ever taken the time to think consider it. Usually he would have loved a place like this—lots of wood with brass fittings, comfortable padded stools at the bar, billiards, and some dart boards to one side—but something made him want to leave, to find a more welcoming bar. “Well,” he said under his breath, “the good news is I’m not here to drink. I’m here to find this guy and then I’m done.” He excused himself forward and got the barman’s attention.

Hamm leaned over and spoke softly, barely loud enough for the man to hear, “I’m looking for Coffin. Someone told me I could find him here.” He slid a folded bill across the worn wood of the counter. The barkeep looked twice between the money and Hamm Packer’s face before deciding the money was good. He motioned with his head toward the back and Hamm’s eyes darted that direction. When his gaze returned to the polished wood the twenty was gone.

“He’s here, Miss Ortice.” He took Antonia by the arm and guided her deeper into the tavern where they could see the rear seating area. Three booths were occupied. The two on the right were occupied by couples obviously out for a night on the town. A man in a leather jacket sat alone drinking coffee in the one of the left. That had to be Coffin.

“Is that him?” Antonia was excited.

“Only person it could be. I tell you what. I got you here to the man himself so I think I’m done. Frankly, this place gives me the willies and I don’t think they like me being here—can’t put my finger on it, but after awhile you learn to go with your gut. You go see if that’s him. If it is, great and good luck. If not, I’ll help you find some other lead. Deal?” He could feel the eyes boring into the nape of his neck.

“Yes, that’s fine, Mr. Packer. Oh! Here.” She placed several folded bills in his hand as she shook it. “For the money you gave the bartender as well as for bringing me this far. Thank you so much for your help.” Antonia approached the leather-clad man. Hamm pocketed the money without counting it. He was certain this particular client was playing fair and honest. At least he wasn’t out the twenty he’d lost at the bar.

Hamm watched as Antonia approached the and addressed the man. He couldn’t hear their words but he knew she was asking if he was Coffin. He nodded and offered her the seat opposite him. Hamm hoped she found the answer to her problem. Maybe this Coffin guy could help her; Hamm sure as hell knew that he couldn’t.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP265 – Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 6 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-five.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 6 of 6
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp265.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Hume Speaks.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby is caught between devouring flames and devouring dead.

 

Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 6 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Departed

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP264 – Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 5 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-four.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 5 of 6
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp264.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Hume Speaks.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby encounters a force even more terrifying than the zombies that hunt her.

 

Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 5 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Departed

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP263 – Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 4 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-three.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 4 of 6
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp263.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Hume Speaks.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby is forced to fend for herself amongst the staggering corpses that wander the countryside.

 

Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 4 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Sketch

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP262 – Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 3 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-two.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 3 of 6
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp262.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Hume Speaks.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby finds herself on trial.

 

Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 3 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Departed

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP261 – Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 2 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-one.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 2 of 6
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp261.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Hume Speaks.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby once again moves through the ranks of the shambling dead.

 

Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 2 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Departed

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP260 – Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 1 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty.

Flash PulpTonight we present Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 1 of 6
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp260.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by the Nutty Bites podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we return to Ruby’s rotting world, as she attempts to survive both the gnashing teeth of the dead, and the scheming minds of the living.

 

Ruby Departed: Wasting Time, Part 1 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Ruby Departed

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPGE5 – The Glorious: Augu Blautr by Threedayfish

Welcome to Flash Pulp, guest-isode 5.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Glorious: Augu Blautr by Threedayfish

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpGuest005.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This episode is brought to you by Threedayfish.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, as JRD’s brain has been stolen by high-powered medication, we present a work of war and weeping, written by Threedayfish.

Thanks, Fish, we appreciate it.

 

The Glorious: Augu Blautr by Threedayfish

Written by Threedayfish
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The Glorious

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP259 – The Murder Plague: Capital City, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and fifty-nine.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Murder Plague: Capital City, Part 1 of 1

Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by the Nutty Bites podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Harm Carter loses himself in a city besieged by the paranoia inducing effects of The Murder Plague.

 

The Murder Plague: Capital City, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The Murder PlaguePanic can carry your feet incredible distances, and I was deeply lost in a nameless suburb before my mine ran dry.

My backstreet marathon hadn’t given me any better idea of where I might be, but it did provide a general impression of how the contagion had rippled through the city.

It was a silent thing, back in Mass Acres. Everyone simply locked their doors and went quietly mad – not so, in Capital City, as was made evident by the junk mail, and lawn ornament wreckage, which littered the sidewalks.

For example, when my adrenaline subsided, and my paranoia retreated to a general low-level terror, I noted a consistent bit of hooliganism.

You see, the neighbourhood I was touring had unmistakably been constructed by the same company throughout – if the mirrored two-story homes hadn’t made it clear, the consistent theming along the curbside would have. Every corner was adorned with an ornate faux-Victorian lamp, and every driveway had an identical wrought-iron-styled plastic mailbox at its end. It would have been a model community, if trash-bag mountains hadn’t gathered along the grassy edges, only to be ripped into, at a later date, by stray mutts.

I didn’t think much of the first of the exploded mailboxes. After a half-hour of additional wandering, though, I began to mark an irregular pattern. The original was a solitary act of vandalism on its block, but, as I progressed, I spotted a twin, then triplets.

Now, it’s the nature of the illness to notice everything. It’s also a symptom that everything seems to be sneaking up on you with a knife behind its back, but, still, you become unusually observant.

“Hoodlums,” I thought, but, as the density of the incidents increased, and their boldness obviously grew, I couldn’t ignore the worried voice which whispered constantly in my ear.

Tire tracks had peeled away from many of the decapitated pillars, and I was convinced that those responsible were thugs; true monsters, roaming the area looking for trouble to cause, and innocently-insane pedestrians to harass.

Worse, while some doors swung wide and empty, and no yard remained manicured, I felt uncomfortably certain of the occasional curtain-twitch, but the back-to-back-to-back fences left me with little place to hide. To my embattled brain, it was walk or die.

The sporadic executions grew thicker. Eventually, I came to a series of homes, painted in soft earth tones, that had their greeney torn up by marauding tires, and every one of their poles beheaded.

Despite the evidence of rain and weather upon the scattered letters and fliers, I was sure the brutes were close – and I wasn’t wrong.

I found them around the next turn.

It’s hard to say what the motivation was – perhaps the nutter had thought the postman was attempting to deliver anthrax – but, whatever the case, the plague had driven one of the local homeowners to rig a handgun within their mailbox, and they’d done a solid job of it.

There was a behemoth of a white convertible cadillac beside the trap, which had idled till its tank emptied. The backseat was likely brimming with plastic Pepsi bottles at the beginning of the run, but the pair of corpses had been industrious, and, by the time I encountered them, there were only a few scattered on the rear floor-mats. The other components for their simple explosives had been left sitting on the dash.

The driver-side door was swept wide, and its occupant lying on the pavement, not twenty feet away. His eyes were blank, and his cheeks were hollow with advancing decay. He wore a black hooded sweatshirt, but I couldn’t make out the skateboard company’s logo through the blood. His shoulder had caught the bullet, giving him a bit of a chance to crawl away, but his partner, slumped against the windshield, wasn’t so lucky. His right eye had been vaporized and no small amount of his brain matter hung from the vehicle’s fuzzy dice.

Both looked to be about twelve.

They were joyriders, and nothing more, likely abandoned by crazed, or dead, parents. It becomes difficult, upon reflection, to begrudge anyone even the most miscreant joys, when considered against the backdrop of Hitchcock’s.

“Walk or die”, said my sick mind – so I did.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.