Crime Never Bids
Hardy, a friend of mine who has a spider-sense for odd Canadiana, sent me this gubmint auction link.
I’ve seen my share of government auctions – I was expecting seized Honda Civics and grow-op houses – but no, this is actually general surplus, so it’s not JUST the former possessions of the incarcerated. (Although, yeah, there’s plenty of that too.)
One stretcher, slightly used? Yikes.
I don’t know where these came from – but I love the understated nature of the picture. At first I couldn’t figure out why the government was wasting my tax money trying to sell straws and plastic lids, but then I realized it’s actually 20,000 of each. That’s a lot of straw wrappers to blow at people.
I know what I said about seized assets, but wouldn’t you want to play International Super Spy with a bag full of real diamond chips?
Just pretend they weren’t actually wrenched out of old ladies’ ring-settings by a meth-head B&E specialist using a pair of rusty needle nose pliers.
I actually WANT to believe this is a seized asset – that somewhere there’s a crime lord that once shouted: “Oh no, the cops! Quick boys, to the hovercraft!”