Dear Peter Graves,

Now that you’re dead I feel kind of bad about telling everyone what an alcoholic you were. Lets face it though, we both know that it wasn’t  your heart that did you in. I’m not sure if it’s the same fellow who got you stuck in Parts: The Clonus Horror, but your agent did you a favour by getting out in front of the story with this heart attack spiel.

I’m not Peter Graves,
A Fan

P.S. I always liked you better than James Arness.
P.P.S. This message will self destruct in five seconds.