FP292 – The HeavenMakers

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and ninety-two.

Flash PulpTonight we present The HeavenMakers

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This week’s episodes are brought to you by SkinnerCo.


Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, due to the spotty electricity and general hubbub that was a byproduct of the recent superstorm, we preempt our scheduled FlashCast to instead present an unfortunate tale of familial unity.


Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May


The Crawford family were eating Corn Pops, as was the norm for 7:20 AM in their ranch-style suburban home. Lee Crawford, nine, had a pair of large fuzzy headphones on, and was bobbing along to a theme song that went unheard by his parents.

Despite the wailing rock guitar that introduced some of its segments, Lee found The HeavenMakers always soothed him.

Outside his bubble, his father, already wearing his tie, was saying, “don’t you find it weird that they haven’t released any details about the triple murd- about the Banderjees?”

The fact that the gory scene had included the death of a ten year old had meant that even The Captain, the radio host who welcomed Arthur Crawford to every work day, had made mention of the tragedy.

From behind the shelter of a paperback whose cover was filled with a sword wielding Scotsman of unlikely proportions, Gina Crawford eyed her husband.

“Save it for after breakfast,” she replied.

“He’s listening to his show anyway.”

“He was close enough to little Agontuk to make it not worth discussing in front of him.”

Halloween Horror StoryAgontuk, who the boy had met at a shared after-school babysitter, had been the one to introduce Lee to his favourite podcast – though his friend always referred to it only as HM, as in, “hey man, did you hear the latest Angel Battle story in HM? Holy shazmarazz.”

In truth, the music and followup copyright information, had ended just as the topic was mentioned, but Lee didn’t mind. Though he missed trading cards and arguing about who would win different Angel Battle showdowns, he knew he’d see Agontuk again – that’s what HeavenMakers was all about, really.

“Dad,” he said, “I have to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” replied Arthur, as his gaze guiltily panned over a tablet full of news.

“You know how, a week ago, you were looking for your wallet?”


“I was the one who took it.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s how you get a HeavenMaker kit. I found the instructions and the address in the comments on a YouTube video.”

“I told you letting him on YouTube was a bad idea,” said Gina.

“You mailed my wallet to the address you found in a YouTube comment!?” asked Arthur.

“Yep,” replied Lee, “It’s a good thing I wrote it down too, everything was gone the next day.”

Gina stood, her face pale.

“It’ll be okay Mom,” the child told his mother. “The HeavenMakers said it would be alright.”

The woman fell to the ground, and began thrashing on the carpet, her arms impacting on the table leg. Her eyes bulged, and a blood streaked trail of foaming mucus formed on her lips.

“Alright!?” asked Arthur. His hands that worked at his tie felt gummy, and his jaw felt weak. Jagged glass seemed to blossom in his stomach and the room seemed to be running short of light and air.

“Yeah! The package finally came!” said Lee, with a smile. He sniffled for a moment, and, without thought, wiped his nose on his pajama sleeve. As he pulled it away, he left a line of crimson across a grinning herd of dinosaurs. “We’re all going to heaven!”


Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

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Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.