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Dead TIME Quotes

Just a couple of random quotes from one of the more interesting TIME pieces (article might be stretching it) I’ve read lately.

The theft of Santa’s bones is still celebrated in Bari with an annual parade and fireworks.

Forty-three years later, Mussolini’s granddaughter Alessandro tipped off police that someone was selling glass vials alleged to hold the remaining brains and blood of Mussolini on eBay for 15,000 Euros. eBay promptly removed the listing.

People have been fixated on Napoleon’s penis … [it] has been compared over the years to a piece of leather, a shriveled eel and to beef jerky.

Flash Pulp 013 – Say It Ain't So, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, Episode Thirteen.

Tonight’s story: Say It Ain’t So

Flash Pulp[audio:http://media.libsyn.com/media/skinner/FlashPulp013.mp3](Click play to listen or subscribe via libsyn RSS or iTunes)

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This evening’s episode, and every episode of Flash Pulp, is partially inspired by Marvelous Bob.

Google it.

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – 400 to 600 words brought to you Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Tonight we present a tale of science fiction, originally published on 365Tomorrows.com. It’s a story of high level corporate maneuvering in a not so terribly distant future, a story which opens with a simple question of identity.

Say It Ain’t So – Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

“So, are ya?” He’s maybe twelve, wearing blue shorts and a Mexico City Raptors t-shirt, a leg up on the wrought iron patio fence. My lobster is getting cold.

“What?” I ask.

I realize he’s holding up a thin rectangle the size of a credit card, alternating his squints to get the thing’s picture to match my face.

“CEO Benjamin “Crush ‘Em” Hinton?”

I remember signing off on licensing my likeness to FlatMedia last May, but I hadn’t seen the cards in the wild.

I ignore him.

That might have been the end of it, but a serving girl swings by my table.

“Your bill, Mr. Hin – Ben.” She says, smiling uncomfortably.

That’s what I get for flirting with the wait staff.

“It IS you! Could ya sign my card?”

He thrusts a red stylus and the card at me. I accept, mostly just interested in checking out the cheap display on the back. There’s a rundown of my resume; schooling, management experience, time spent on corporate boards.

I tap on New Youth Limited. Not much my rookie year, but the second I was apparently one of “The Resurrection Seven”, a voting bloc that saved N.Y.L. by moving from chemical processes to genetic engineering. I remember the vote, but I don’t recall anyone using the snazzy nickname.

Sliding through the listings, I notice some of them have been marked up in a child’s block script, often with arrows pointing to individual entries, things like: “Bob may have had seniority, but not the votes!”

“Anywhere?” I ask.

“Sure!” He says with a sloppy grin.

I tap the pen icon.

“Is it true that you punched Director Jules Wilson?”

“Heh, yeah. I mean, Wilson always came in drunk, but he messed up my presentation of that quarter’s preliminary financials – by the time he started pawing at Kathy Reed, I was just looking for an excuse.”

I look up, wondering if I’ve said too much for a kid his age, but he seems to be eating it up with moon eyes.

“You ever gonna work somewhere huge like Kalstock again?” he asks, face imploring. I give a quick scribble with the stylus and hand him back his card.

“Maybe.”

His saucer eyes begin to droop.

“Hey,” I quickly add, “I mean, there’s talk that Kalstock may revisit their policy and have me back for another term, but it’s hush hush.”

He brightens. I imagine him lording the harmless secret over his friends for a week.

“Tedward says you got lucky with the Talibi Merger because CEO Norma Donald was kicked by Talibi’s oversight expert system. I think he’s a craphead. You’re so smart you must have done something.”

I smile, mentally re-living my best maneuvers.

“I bought shares in a number of Talibi subsidiaries using various fake names and then put out a lot of crosstalk showing a lack of stockholder confidence. The system got nervous. I paid good money to insert low numbers into that week’s financial reports, and the system went to red alert. Things would have been fixed as soon as they saw the next round of numbers, but I used the whistleblower hotline to point out a lie on Norma’s resume involving her university rowing team. With so much bad happening so suddenly, the computer thought the world was ending and booted Norma – the only one who understood Kalstock’s real intentions.”

The kid’s smiling the whole time I’m talking, but as I finish he turns and waves to someone. That’s when I see the New Youth product watermark on the back of his neck.

Without looking at me he says:

“Mr. Hinton – Carl Nochek, special agent for the Securities and Exchange Commission. Benjamin Hinton, it is my duty to inform you that you are under arrest.”

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm. The audio and text formats of Flash Pulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

The Death and Rebirth Of MTV

I’m tight for time today, but I wanted to throw a quick thought out:

The lack of music videos on modern MTV is the stuff of legend, or at least second-rate stand up comedians. While they took a lot of flak for it at the time, I think what we unknowingly witnessed was a media transition that many industries – I’m looking at you especially, Print Journalism/Cartooning/Real Estate – need to consider in the age of the internet.

MTV Logos

My guess is that it was increasingly tough to turn an advertising dime in the mid-to-late ’90s due to the plummeting ratings brought on by the ever-cheapening VCR, and teen proficiency with the record button. Today, between band DVD releases and youtube, pressing on with a straight video platform would be suicidal.

I’m certainly not suggesting that journalists should start following around spoiled teens or that real estate agents should start creating ‘cribs’ styled videos for their clients, but I think it says something that, while it brought on quite a bit of criticism at the time, MTV looked to their core (e.g. Brand T(w)een) and pivoted to catch the wind – instead of panicking, throwing up their hands, and blaming everything on the internet.

Vincent Price's Menu

For my birthday a few years ago the lovely Jessica May ebayed me a copy of A Treasury Of Recipes by Vincent and Mary Price. It’s been one of the prides of my book shelf since, and occasionally we try out a recipe.

I recently mentioned it to some folks, who, understandably, immediately began referencing ‘eye of newt’ as a key ingredient – really though it’s a fascinating book, and an interesting bit of culinary archeology. I believe it was written near the end of Mary and Vincent’s relationship, and its easy to imagine their storied history spread across the international menus within.

A Treasury Of Recipes Cover - Vincent & Mary Price
A hefty cover for a hefty book.
A Treasury Of Recipes Intro - Vincent & Mary Price
A nice little essay explaining the important role food played in the Prices' lives.
A Treasury Of Recipes - Vincent & Mary Price - Sardi's Intro Page
Each restaurant gets a signature dish shot across from a little illustration and intro text about the Prices' experiences with the place.
A Treasury Of Recipes - Vincent & Mary Price - Sardi's Interior
A couple of recipes from Sardi's, across from a view of the restaurant interior and some classic New York exterior.
A Treasury Of Recipes - Vincent & Mary Price - Sardi's Recipes
We've tried several of the recipes from the book - not so much with the frogs' legs.
A Treasury Of Recipes - Vincent & Mary Price - Sardi's Menu
Another neat item is that each restaurant's menu is presented before the recipes - time travel and culinary snobbery in one.
A Treasury Of Recipes - Vincent & Mary Price - At The Prices' House
An interior shot of the Prices' dining area, for the intro to their personal favourites.

Flash Pulp 012 – Red Mouth’s Legacy, A Blackhall Tale – Part 6 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, Episode Twelve.

Tonight’s story: Red Mouth’s Legacy, A Blackhall Tale – Part 6

(Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 – Part 5 – Part 6)

Flash Pulp[audio:http://media.libsyn.com/media/skinner/FlashPulp012.mp3](Click play to listen or subscribe via libsyn RSS or iTunes)

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This evening’s episode is brought to you by Old Time Radio Extra, available at oldtimeradioextra.weebly.com

Looking for old time radio, kid? Sure ya are!

OTR Extra has all the sources of jim jams and flim flams indexed, so you don’t need to go crawling up and down google like some kinda mook.

That’s Old Time Radio Extra, available at oldtimeradioextra.weebly.com

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – 400 to 600 words brought to you Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Tonight we present the finale to our first Blackhall tale, as Thomas makes his final stand against his ursine captor.

Next week we return with a trinity of solo pieces, including another entry in the case files of Mulligan Smith.

Red Mouth’s Legacy, A Blackhall Tale – Part Five of Six

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

A new type of waiting had begun, as man and beast watched the flames move voraciously amongst the brittle wood.

“What treachery is this? You would roast us both!” the bear roared.

“I will give you some advice – and what I give you will be free, not a spite heavy trade.” Thomas smiled, his smokey vice bobbing between his cracked lips. “If you head down to the river we have twice now conversed upon, your strength will surely knock back the great elms which hang over that water. If you were to then rut the dirt clean, you could create a break and stop this contagion – at least so long as the wind stays easterly. T’will not be easy, nor quick, but it’ll keep this blasted hillock from balding entirely, and from letting the blaze spread to the lands beyond.”

“Pray do not think to inform me of how to fight such an enemy.” The bear snarled, stepping forward. The rending hooks of its front paws caught the light of the flames.

It reared and bellowed then, its rage flooding the hilltop and valley below.

Thomas raised the tip of his sword.

“Until now I’ve not thought it likely that I might see my Mairi again, but if pressed I will gladly remove your head to save the time. I’m sick of your god awful shouting and groaning – if you wish to taste the poison of my silver, then come, and quickly, as I have a date to keep.”

He had taken his full height as he talked, and despite the mighty bulk of the beast below, upon his perch his frame now towered over even that of the lord of this primordial forest.

Without response the bear sank upon its haunches, once again resting in the position it had so long held.

Lowering his weapon, Thomas once again spoke:

“Do not rest long, it will be a short time before even yonder valley begins to crackle.”

The albino moaned then, the forlorn cry of a being who has lost a child and must make do with what remains. Rolling forward it took to its legs and began to push its way along the corridor of flames, picking up speed as it moved down the hill and out of sight.

Blackhall stood against the roasting heat as long as he dare, then slipped down the rocky scape and into the trees to the north, limping towards the smell of ocean salt.

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm. The audio and text formats of Flash Pulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.