CNN Asks: Thoughts You Thought You Knew

CNN’s front-page sometimes finds itself up against the hard questions – on those occasions, I step in to help.


What's on bin Laden courier's cell?
What's on bin Laden courier's cell?
Phone numbers to half-a-dozen halal pizza places, a recurring weekly alarm to call his mother, Apple store warranty info, Angry Birds, and a weather program that only ever reports the day to be “hot & arid”.


Think you know about diabetes?
Think you know about diabetes?
Think you know about diabetes? You don’t know jack – consider the facts:

  • Diabetes once slapped a woman for cutting ahead of it in line to see the Tron sequel.
  • Diabetes likes to hang out on highway overpasses and pee on passing vehicles.
  • Diabetes once tested Paul Atreides with “the box”.
  • Diabetes shot a man in reno, rushed him to the hospital, had him stitched up, brought him flowers, drove him home, then shot him a second time, just to watch him die.
  • Diabetes steps on all the cracks, and secretly wishes it WOULD break its mother’s back.

Think you know about diabetes? Think again.


NHL mock draft: Who's No. 1?
NHL mock draft: Who's No. 1?

Personally, I find them all pretty mockable.


Hotel Housekeeping: Do you tip?
Hotel Housekeeping: Do you tip?
Absolutely not.

I find this sort of use and abuse of service staff pretty deplorable – just because you might encounter some poor maid napping in a hotel hallway doesn’t mean you can send her over sideways like some Wisconsinite farm-boy toppling a sleeping cow.


Bin Laden worried about al Qaeda image?
Bin Laden worried about al Qaeda image?
Yes: specifically, the one they tweeted of their junks while at the jyhadi gym.