Sunday Summary: Sharks, Bikinis, & Scientists

Skinner Co. Employees: Call your mother – she worries.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 6, 2011
Writing: How people become acquainted with the details of the ceiling above their work area.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 6, 2011
Skinner Co. Valet Staff: Consider this a belated reminder that your insurance benefits do not cover jumping buses,flaming pits, or sharks.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 5, 2011
Skinner Co. Foundry Workers: While we respect your enthusiasm for Star Wars, metal bikinis do not constitute proper work attire.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 4, 2011

I’m going to start a rumour that all of our leaders were created in labs by political scientists.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 3, 2011
Skinner Co. Clientele: To prevent legal risk-exposure, we are obligated to inform you that we ARE afraid of SOME ghosts.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 1, 2011
Watching Ad Sense pull keywords for flashpulp.com is fun – listings are currently split between funeral homes and “Asian Female For Love”
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 2, 2011
Skinner Co. Staff: Despite a rabies outbreak in accounting, rumours of a vigilante playboy millionaire running the corporation are unfounded
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) May 2, 2011