Tag: podcast

FP275 – Dwelling, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-five.

Flash PulpTonight we present Dwelling, Part 1 of 1

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp275.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Dead Kitchen Radio.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, a young boy finds himself unable to fully escape a haunted house.

 

Dwelling, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The trouble began late one Halloween evening.

Under the uncaring gaze of a flock of plastic ghosts hung on an elm across the street, a trio of fourteen-year-old boys were sizing up the rotting shutters and peeling yellow paint of 186 Bunten Road – and, unknown to them, the house was taking their measure in return.

ChillerTwo of the youths were dressed similarly, having adopted the personas of Jake and Elwood Blues, while the third, Samuel Curry, was dressed as Clark Kent. The costumes had been hasty choices made only once they’d realized their growing desire for maturity had yet to outweigh their need for candy. Church suits, cheap sunglasses, and Jake’s father’s fedora collection had simplified matters, and Sam had but to mousse up, and expose the Superman t-shirt he was already wearing, to perfect his attire.

It was perhaps his too-handsome looks which brought the Blues Brothers to challenge Curry with a dare of entry into the reputedly haunted property.

“Sure, if it isn’t locked tight,” was his final reply, and the hat-wearers smiled.

The false Kryptonian was somewhat disheartened to discover the door ajar, but he moved on nonetheless.

Digging his key chain from his pocket, the boy engaged the small flashlight which he’d long ago hung on the ring, and pushed through the tight antechamber which preceded the front hall.

The second entrance provided no more resistance than the first, despite its heft.

The building was a remnant of another age. Its armour was red brick, and its gilding, from frames to wainscoting, were of heavy oak. Even its innermost entryways held a bulk unheard of in modern construction. The occult symbols which crowded its woodwork were rarer still.

Inside, Sam was provided with a pair of choices – a passage to the left, which seemed to lead to a darkened living room, or, on the right, a set of stairs rising to the second floor. The agreed objective was the solitary unshuttered window facing the street, a pane on the story above, and the boy lay his sneaker on the gray carpet which ran down the center of the flight.

As he did so, the exterior most door slammed shut.

Sam decided it was only the wind – and held to it when the nearer slab also closed.

It was this tenacity that goaded the house.

In the kitchen below, a vodka bottle – abandoned atop the counter some years earlier by a startled drunk – shattered on the dusty linoleum.

The lad, at the head of the steps, ignored it.

He could see the opening that would lead to the end of his quest, and his focus was completely on his goal.

With a steady stride, he passed into the former bedroom. He had no time for the black and white leaves that filled the wallpaper, nor the constellation of unidentifiable stains which littered its floor – his eyes clung firmly to the square of illumination from the streetlamps beyond.

When he peered out, however, he discovered that his companions didn’t have his stomach for unexpected slamming.

They were gone.

Turning, Sam readied himself to retrace his route. Ten strides carried him to the cusp of the hall, and an eleventh would have put him safely outside the bedchamber, if it had not been for the sudden closing of the exit.

The hinged weight landed solidly on his leg, snapping bone below his knee, and the adolescent screamed.

Pinned in place, he had no option but to watch the corridor’s thick carpet writhe with mirth.

It was all too much for Samuel, and the teen lapsed into shock-induced unconsciousness.

He awoke to fresh agony, when the oak frame impacted twice more. His position shifted slightly with each hit, so that, though no blow landed in the same place, the shards of his tibia were churned into fragments, then splinters.

The boy realized, with horror, that the door was chewing on him.

The maw again swung wide, but, before a third bite might be taken, Sam dug his nails into the roiling carpet, and pulled himself forward.

Emitting a mix of grunts and tears, he crawled to the stairs, then down them.

The structure briefly considered heaving the rug to toss the child the distance, thus assuring an abrupt snapping of his neck at the bottom, but there was too much risk of becoming a known danger to the public.

No, it decided, permitting an escape would ensure its reputation – ensure the fear it needed.

Sam had made it to the lower-most step when flashing red lights began to pour through the no-longer-shuttered windows of the first floor.

Within moments, dual flashlights were probing the boy’s ashen face.

“I fell,” was the extent of the explanation he provided as the officers transported him to Capital City General.

No one doubted him.

* * *

For a time the house was content.

On another Halloween, four years later, it had scared away a similar group of explorers through simply swinging wide its front-facing slats while their backs were turned. Six months following that, it had allowed a stray Boston Terrier to enter its basement, only to hold it prisoner until it collapsed from starvation. The residence felt its carcass would make a nice surprise for some future adventurer – but none came till the second summer following, when a bored man in a fine suit made his way inside.

Having grown bored and hungry, the trap set itself to its best behaviour, as if laying out its tongue to await a meal.

A parade of workers followed, all instructed to maintain as many of the original fixtures possible. The cacophony scraped paint, varnished surfaces, and peeled the gummy fur from its cellar floor, and, in the end, the presence took some pride in the remarkable nature of its restoration. As they departed, it found itself hard pressed to want to murder this latest batch of subservient intruders.

On a later June morning, a smartly dressed woman carrying a clipboard lead a recently married couple over the threshold. The bride’s belly was growing heavy, and the twosome cooed at the flood of natural light that filled the room at the top of the stairs.

They lasted but three weeks – on a quiet Sunday evening the dwelling’s intelligence had exposed, to the expecting woman, every drawer and cupboard in the small kitchen. It had then silently shut each while she breathlessly retrieved her husband.

The house had not anticipated how seriously the young family would take the incident, and after their premature departure it still yearned for a more satisfying result.

As such, it again allowed the woman with the clipboard to tour the floors and prattle on about its historic beauty.

Eventually, a group of five attempted to nest within; a middle aged couple, their teen twin daughters, and the matron’s drooling mother.

This time the predator took a subtle approach. Tensions flared over missing money and mysterious injuries appearing on the senile gran. The old woman was an invalid, and the corruption took no end of pleasure in terrifying her awake upon a rocking bed – it enjoyed how she screamed endlessly behind her unmoving mouth.

After a half-decades careful effort, the situation was a primed powder keg. The wife was sure the husband was beating her increasingly frail mother, and the husband was progressively obsessing over the notion that nocturnal shutter creaks, and the sounds of shifting furniture, were signs that his beloved daughters were running rampant with their ne’er-do-well boyfriends – and yet he could never seem to catch them in the act, finding, instead, that when he entered their rooms they would claim they had just awoken, even if their clothing seemed freshly strewn across their floors.

His freshly purchased shotgun did little to reassure him, though the home viewed it with a sense of impending glee.

Then, one Tuesday morning, the sleepless nights, and air of constant suspicion, were unexpectedly interrupted by a phone call.

The malignancy could not penetrate the depths of the conversation, but the family had left together, chattering excitedly.

Much to the entity’s disappointment, they did not return.

* * *

Early Wednesday, a dozen broad-shouldered men arrived in boxy trucks.

Being familiar with the migration of movers, the house was content to lay silent as the paintings were stripped from its walls, and the furniture emptied from its living spaces. By noon only that which couldn’t be carried away remained.

As the rumble of engines drained from the lane, a black sedan pulled to a halt at the curb.

It was then that the lurking hunter realized the sudden departure was a greater threat than it had fathomed.

The sole of a well-built black shoe set down upon the sidewalk, followed by the stout nose of a masterly crafted oak cane.

A grown Samuel Curry stepped from the car, then removed his dark suit jacket.

He left it on the rear-seat as he retrieved his tools.

Despite his years of planning – his years of panicked awakenings and secret confessions to his psychiatrist – Sam made no speech.

He peeled the shutters first, plucking off the lowermost with crowbars, and using a ladder to reach those higher.

The doors came next, without subtlety: Guessing where the hinges might hide within, the avenging form simply laid his sledge against the barriers until they no longer stood. The rush of adrenaline made his stints away from his supporting cane all the more bearable.

Long planning had lead to caution, so Curry retrieved a pair of sharp bladed scissors, and dropped to his knees, before entering.

He immediately took to slicing wide shards from the carpeted surfaces, which he then carried to the lawn with meticulous care. As each passed through the house’s maw, it ceased its wiggling protestations. As the path of destruction advanced, the material increasingly bucked and jerked beneath his blades, but a lack of leverage left the complaints useless.

Every cupboard cover was stripped, and every shelf removed.

Sweating, the entrance which had left him with a permanent limp was the last tooth that Sam plucked.

Wandering from room to room , he then pummeled the plasterwork with his walking stick. The walls groaned with rage, but the lack of reprimand was proof enough to the bright-eyed man that the danger had passed.

As a last insult, Sam unfurled a sleeping bag and slept the night, soundly, upon the kitchen floor.

He was awoken by the sound of an arriving backhoe, with whose clasping bucket he would chew the house to rubble.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP274 – Sgt. Smith in Model Behaviour, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-four.

Flash PulpTonight we present Sgt. Smith in Model Behaviour, Part 1 of 1

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp274.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Dead Kitchen Radio.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, private investigator Mulligan Smith hears a tale from his father’s checkered history with the Capital City Police Department.

 

Sgt. Smith in Model Behaviour, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Mulligan SmithIt was a Sunday, and Mulligan was dabbing at his plate’s last smudge of Hollandaise sauce with his final sliver of English muffin.

He leaned back from the square oak table – the same he’d grown up leaving chocolate milk rings on – and burped.

His mute father grimaced, and pointed to a yellow blob that had escaped his son’s fork and landed on the unzipped hoodie he insisted on always wearing.

“Yeah, yeah,” replied Mulligan, as he rubbed at the stain. “Listen, Dad, not that I’m complaining, but you cook for me when you have a favour to ask – so ask.”

The gray-haired former police sergeant let out a lungful of air, and nodded.

Rising, with a creak, from the thrice reupholstered kitchen chair, the old man moved down the short wood-paneled hallway that lead to his bedroom. After a moment of shelf shuffling and drawer slamming, he returned with a cassette tape and a rectangular player consisting of a transparent flip-out door bookended by a pair of black speakers.

With a fast moving BIC pen, the elder Smith scrawled a short preface on his always-near pad of paper.

The note read: “Capital City wasn’t in great shape in ‘89.”

It was the only warning he provided, but it was clue enough to the younger Smith. He knew his father had regularly carried a pocket recorder during the era to capture witness statements. The method saved on hand cramping when tongueless-ly attempting to convey information to his fellow officers.

Except for a very few, however, those cassettes had been destroyed at his father’s retirement.

Mulligan’s belly felt suddenly heavy as the play button was pressed.

The voice was a woman’s; high pitched, but comfortable speaking with a cop.

“It’s Doreen – but, listen: I was washing my panties at the Washeteria on Danforth, maybe an hour ago, so 10PM-ish, and this blond came in wearing a Capital University jacket and a Walkman so loud it could frighten an Amish village off their land.

“She struts past me with a pink plastic laundry basket piled high with her frillies and a stack of textbooks – and I notice she’s wearing jewelery. At the goddamn Washeteria.

“Really, it was nothing too over the top. Classy stuff, but, you know, girlish. There was a gold music note on her neck that would get you at least a hundred bucks in any of the downtown pawn shops, and a bracelet chunky enough to club a seal.

“Anyhow, she picks the machine at the end to dump her clothes into, then she sits up on the counter and starts digging through one of her books. I mean, not in a bored kind of way, she was seriously tucking in.

“Thing is, there was this guy in a white sweater, with a blue zigzag pattern – sort of Charlie Brown style, but thinner, and around his collar instead of his stomach. His teeth were perfect and I’d be willing to bet he had his hair done earlier today – and not cheaply, either.

“Their conversation started about math – he was maybe twenty-five to her eighteen or nineteen, and I guess he’d been through the same accounting course. I tuned it all out until he said:

““I’m done my laundry too – and that looks like a lot of stuff. Could I drive you home?”

“Well, there was one car in the parking lot, a cherry red Corvette with windows as black as a blind guy’s sunglasses.

“She looked impressed – and I couldn’t believe it.

“Before she went through the door with him, I put myself in her path.

““I don’t think that’s the best idea, hon,” I said.

“She looked my little black dress over and I know she was thinking, “Jesus, this woman dresses like a whore.”

“Hell, I almost blurted “that’s because I AM a whore, bitch,” but one of us had to maintain some manners.

“She didn’t actually say anything to me, she just kept talking to the guy. Told him she was down the road at The Gardens, and how she really appreciated it.

“Now, I know you’re thinking, “who is this street walker to judge who this girl wants to climb in the sack with?”

“But that ain’t it.”

The woman cleared her throat, and the tape reported a lighter being struck twice, then igniting.

She continued.

“I don’t know how long he’d been haunting the place, but I’m sure he noticed the same thing I did: A good looking, but slightly overwhelmed, girl folding clothes with no wedding band on.

“Now, what’s a guy with that much expensive cologne on doing hanging around a laundromat after dusk? Waiting to play knight?

“Hell no. I can’t prove it, but that guy was either a rapist or an axe murderer.

“Worse, though, is that I know cars. You get in that pretty moving box, and you really don’t have any room to maneuver. A lot can happen in that tiny space before you can do anything about it.

“Hey, maybe I’m just being an idiot, but the news is always yammering about those missing blondes…”

Though the tape kept winding, there was a pause in the dialogue as a pencil scratched across paper.

“Yeah, actually,” said the woman, after reading an unseen request. “You’re lucky I’ve made it a professional habit to memorize license numbers.”

There was a juttering shift in the audio then, and, following a series of clicks, a man’s voice filled the speakers.

Mulligan recognized it to be that of Gus Kramer, his father’s former partner.

“You’re sure about the lawyer? Okay, in that case, why don’t you tell us what you’d intended to do with the Ms. Harrison once you knocked her out?”

The tape head ground on, but there was a deep silence before the response came.

“Yeah, sure guys, why not?” was the eventual reply. Despite the delay, the man’s tone was cool and clear. “She was the fifth. You’ll find the rest back at my house. The basement will be cold when you enter – I like how, er, pert it makes them, but I really keep it that way to slow the reaction.

“I built a tank in Dad’s old workshop; well, I had it built for me. I said I needed an incredibly strong giant aquarium.

“There’s two tubes on either side – are you familiar with casting resin at all? You mix two chemicals together and the goo hardens to something almost like glass. Sometimes, at booths in the mall, you can buy a tarantula in what looks like clear plastic. Basically the same thing.

“My first stab at a diorama was a failure. I started by dumping too much in, and I didn’t realize how hot the process would get – at her hips, she was screaming in agony. The whole place smelled like flaming chicken.

“I panicked a bit and finished filling the tank twice as quick. Her thrashing did a surprisingly good job of mixing things, and she was firmly stuck when the liquid stopped her bawling.

“The end product was terrible, because the resin cracked and went yellow from the heat, but she was good training.

“I ordered away for industrial stuff, which is way cooler, and number two taught me to do it in stages. She fought forever, though, and I ended up with something that looked like a woman curled in the fetal position at the top of a box, which isn’t exactly sexy.

“With number three I kept her unconscious till the bottom layer had already set, so that she had the use of the rest of her body, but her feet were pinned in place. From there it climbed a few inches of resin at a time, with a mix that allowed it to set as slowly as possible. Of course, she wanted to remain alive, so she stretched every muscle, with her back arched and face upturned to try and get that last breath.

“That definitely turned out sexy.

“Four is beautiful as well, actually – she showed me about the value of props, and now she’ll always be my naughty french maid.

“I had a school scene in mind for number five. I have a desk and plaid skirt at home waiting for her. Nothing more though – I prefer them topless. I thought I could strap her to her chair beneath the tartan, so that she could still move her arms a bit, and provide the randomness that’s really necessary for a life-like scene.

“Wouldn’t it be great if I could convince her to keep just one hand raised?

“I was so excited to see my beautiful liquid glass slide past her cherry lip gloss -”

The elder Smith stopped the tape, and his son sighed. He knew the case well enough, and that the man the press had dubbed The Cube Killer was long dead from a sharpened prison house toothbrush.

“I was wrong,” said the younger man, “you also cook before a funeral. The victim?”

Reaching into his pocket, the retiree retrieved a newspaper obituary for one Doreen Mitchell, mother of three. It indicated that viewings would begin Monday evening, and both Smiths wondered if the accompanying photo had struck many of those who habitually trawled the back-page column as inappropriate. Still, whatever the cut of her dress, the ferocity of the woman’s smile was inescapable.

Mulligan nodded, considering his words. Finally, he said, “I’ll get my suit pressed in the morning.”

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP273 – Coffin: Balm, Part 3 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-three.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Balm, Part 3 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp273.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Way of the Buffalo Podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his mouthy companion, escort a ghost into Las Vegas.

 

Coffin: Balm, Part 3 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

CoffinAt noon Bunny was sitting in a bar named Jimbo’s, at the southern end of Vegas.

Despite having run dry of whiskey while north of the city, she had not intended on entering the establishment.

An hour earlier, while parked across from a squat pink-plastered bungalow, Will had pushed her out of the rented Focus with fifty bucks and a request that she purchase a shovel. The bored looking teen behind the nearest 7-11 counter had given her the most likely location to find the tool: A Home Depot, some five blocks away.

Except for the occasional liquor run, Bunny had rarely been left to wander in the real world since meeting Coffin. Still, the nature of their current business had her wanting nothing more than to be done with it, and she’d moved quickly along the heat-baked sidewalk while providing a mumbled, yet foul-mouthed, commentary on her surroundings.

Almost as if to spite her mood, the stroll had revealed a surprisingly nice suburb, and the hardware store appeared freshly planted. She’d departed the checkout line with a solid shovel, and a twenty for change.

It was only then that she noticed the sports bar hanging from the end of a neighbouring plaza, and encountered a series of entwined coincidences that would change the trajectory of her life.

The first stepped from his dusty chevy to pull wide the watering hole’s glass-fronted door. Thin-faced and slouch shouldered, Bunny’s distant eye had convinced her he was a perfect match for her dead husband, Tim.

With the tool in one hand, and the other sweating heavily around the Jackson in her pocket, she’d followed him inside.

There, with a beer cooling her palms, and air conditioning on her face, she observed the nodding back of the stranger’s head from the depths of a cavernous booth. She’d been doing fine until he’d started tapping the bar’s trim along to Bob Seger’s declaration of love for old time rock and roll.

“Exactly your sort of bull####,” she said to no one but herself.

Her eyes stung as she staggered to her feet, and every step she took spanned a memory.

The early days came first: Dancing to this very song while ducking to avoid the low hanging ceiling in their first apartment’s basement living room; Sharing bottles of Smirnoff and smoking joints on the balcony of their second place, while watching the sun sink away and rise again.

Her vision was a blur when she halved the distance to the bar, but her focus was solely on the time Tim had climbed a fence to defend her honour against a hooligan kid who’d been badmouthing her from the far side.

It had been gallant, even if the idiot had accidentally broken his leg on the way down.

She touched the Tim-a-like’s shoulder, and suddenly her mind returned to the kitchen of their final apartment, with the smell of iron and sulphur in the air, and her belly burning from a knife wound.

Without wanting to, she remembered the blade in her own hand, and the heavy thud of his fall after she’d buried it in his brow.

She’d cried then too.

“The fuck’s your problem?” demanded the startled stranger, as he spun on his stool.

A coincidental choice of words, but the same response she’d received whenever Tim had found her weeping – usually due to his own handiwork.

If there was anything familiar in the man’s face, it was the drunk’s common hunger to be left alone with their can of Busch, and nothing more.

Leaving her glass half-full on the counter, Bunny made for the exit.

* * *

Will Coffin, standing on the cement doorstep of the bungalow with the silver chain in his hand, was being questioned by the specter at the tip of his occult leash.

Allison was asking, “shouldn’t we wait till your partner gets back?”

The dead girl had directed them to the right home easily enough, and the parked stretch-Hummer, with its custom hot tub, had reassured Coffin that her meth-craving ex-boyfriend was indeed living there, and home.

After Bunny’s departure, however, the phantom had provided endless excuses as to why the visitation was a bad idea.

In the end he’d had to pull her from the car.

He knocked again.

“No,” he replied. “There’s too much chance at play in this kind of surprise party, and Bunny tends to startle people.”

Coffin had never been a fan of the heat, and his leather jacket was little help under the relentless sun. He was eager to be on his way, but he made conversation as he measured the entry’s thickness against the weight of his boot. “How did he manage to afford this place?”

“It’s a rental, but between the limo and the drugs he makes decent bank. You’re definitely not going to kick your way in, he’s got a bunch of deadbolts.”

“Well then,” said the shaman, as he jiggled the arcane links, “how about you spook on in there and open them from the other side?”

* * *

As it happened, Shane was expecting a different sort of company. His long term habit had finally pushed him into unmanageable depths, and he’d barely been able to park his technically-still-on-the-job limo before he’d bolted shut his front door and took to his couch with a pilfered supply of his addiction, and an abruptly-shortened shotgun.

He couldn’t tell if the banging from outside was real or not, but he’d cracked a window to let out any errant fumes, and crept into the hallway.

Upon arrival, he was fairly convinced that the translucent arm which came reaching for the locks was a hallucination.

The sleight fingers worked the chains and knobs, and there was something he recognized in those chewed, but somehow delicate, nails.

“Hell, this must be the best I’ve ever had,” he said, but the flood of chemically induced paranoia made it a hollow victory.

As the entrance swung wide to reveal the girl he’d buried deep and a lanky man in a biker jacket, Shane’s mind continued to argue it was all a figment of his imagination – but his hand raised high the barrel of his gun.

Coffin took a single step into the shadows of the home’s interior, then froze when he realized he was caught in the line of fire behind Allison’s insubstantial form – but, before the junkie could shoot, Allison began to babble.

“You killed me! You left me beneath the sand to rot!”

“How can you be pissed that I killed you if you’re here complaining at me?” replied Shane.

“I’m a ghost, asshole!

“- or you’re just my fucking delusion – whatever the case, it can’t be that bad if you’re here bitching.”

The girl was wailing now, and the fist with which she held the entrance’s handle slammed the slab’s weight repeatedly against the jamb. “You don’t know what it is being locked in the sun like that, lying like I’m dying forever.”

Shane’s trigger hand steadied, though his voice did not. “What the fuck is your problem!? I may as well kill you twice, you fu-”

“#### gobbling donkey fondler!”

Bunny didn’t give the gunman a chance to respond. With the momentum of five blocks of growing anger behind her swing, she lay the flat of the shovel across the peak of his skull.

The murderer reeled, and dropped his weapon, but he briefly kept his feet.

“MY problem!?” asked Bunny, as she set her grip wide behind her shoulders, “I’ll give you a ####ing problem.”

Her second stroke snapped the metal scoop from the wooden shaft, and left Shane unconscious on the floor.

It was only once Will touched her neck that she stopped beating the man with the shattered stem.

For a moment there was just the sound of ragged breathing, then Bunny turned to face her traveling companion.

“I’m impressed,” said Coffin.

“Hell, I know a couple fighting from five-hundred ####ing yards,” she replied. “and I could see your back at the door. Figured you must be in trouble to be letting them carry on like that.

“From there – well, Christ, every one of these idiots I’ve known is the same: They’ve got a thousand latches, but they crack the glass to vent their stink – and there ain’t a drunk alive who hasn’t mastered crawling through a window from having locked their keys inside their place so often.”

Though her cheeks were wet, she couldn’t help but let out a laugh. She dropped her club.

“####, I couldn’t just let him kill you. I’m all the ####ing friends you got, and I can’t afford the funeral.”

Will smiled.

Behind him, at the chain’s furthest length, waited Allison.

The spirit sniffed, and Coffin sighed.

“I’m sorry this wasn’t your solution, but I hope there’s a little satisfaction in it for you,” he said. “I think it’s best if you take a bit to gather yourself, and you’ll likely want a some privacy with your cowboy.

“We’ll be there soon.“

As he finished Will let go of the talisman, and, before the phantom might resist, the returned pull of her resting place overcame her.

“You thought pummeling this douche jockey would bring her closure and let her go?” asked Bunny, as her roommate retrieved a pair of gloves from the interior of his coat, and stooped towards the unconscious body.

“Nah, but I’ll certainly feel better when we dig up her corpse and lock it in his trunk for the highway patrol to find.” Coffin pulled the Hummer’s keys from Shane’s pocket. “We’re going to need another shovel, though.”

“Might have been easier to just drive her home.”

“Oh, we’ll try that too, but It won’t help – it never does. Person like that longs to go back, but they didn’t get dead by having a family that cared. They know what they want, but they don’t know what they need. Like I’ve said, often the best I can do is provide a distraction.”

* * *

They were nearly out of the city before Bunny spoke again.

“I think we should get some ice – a big pile of ice.” As she said it, she pointed at a passing gas station whose freezer brimmed with white bags.

“Ice?” asked Will.

“Yeah. Maybe it’s just another of your distractions, but – well, the girl and her bronco buster seem to complain a lot about the heat. Might be nice to fill the hot tub for them, at least till it all melts. Besides – I dunno, I have this idea that maybe what they’re looking for is each other. Is that a possibility? I don’t know all the Casper rules yet.”

“Now there’s an interesting thought,” said Coffin, as he pulled the wheel around.

It would be a long time before she would let him forget how right she was.

 

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPGE9 – Supply Run: a Bunny Davis Tale, by Rich Jefferson

Welcome to Flash Pulp Guest-isode 009.

Flash PulpTonight we present Supply Run: a Bunny Davis Tale, by Rich Jefferson

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This episode is brought to you by The Mob.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Due to an inadvertent release from the Skinner Co. Microbiology Lab, and the resulting infection of our writer, our scheduled release of Coffin: Balm, Part 3, will be delayed until Monday.

Instead we offer up a brief interlude with our urban shaman’s tipsy companion, Bunny Davis, as written by The Mob’s own Time Traveller.

 

Supply Run: a Bunny Davis Tale, by Rich Jefferson

Written by Rich Jefferson
with Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio Production by Jessica May

 

FPGE9 - Supply Run: a Bunny Davis Tale, by Rich Jefferson

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP272 – Coffin: Balm, Part 2 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-two.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Balm, Part 2 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Way of the Buffalo Podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his tipsy companion, exchange tales of, and with, the dead.

 

Coffin: Balm, Part 2 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

CoffinThe phantasmic cowhand, having been exhausted from the effort required to stand tall, had returned to the awkward sprawl of his death.

It seemed impolite, to Bunny, to loiter around a man with his face pinned to the dirt, and so she’d drifted, with her whiskey bottle, to sit on the hood of the gray rented Ford.

With a shrug, Coffin followed.

“What’s his deal? Why’s he here?” asked the drunk, in a tone meant to be covert.

“That’s the question,” replied Coffin. “Ambrose is from a time when men were supposed to be wrasslin’ bears and chewing iron, not dealing with their emotions and having any idea why they were constantly looking moodily at the horizon. Something’s keeping him here, but he’s not talking about it – may not even be aware of what it is.

”He’s an aberration. No ghost should be able to linger so long. His water ran dry a over a century ahead of anyone considering running a highway by here, but he hasn’t gotten any less stubborn since.

“I’ve researched his genealogy, tracked down the burial site of the man who killed his brother, brought out some cold beer. Way back in the day, we even tried a horse. Had to rent the beast, and a trailer to haul it in. The guy only let us go with his stuff because Sandy hinted we were filming a version of Lady Godiva’s naked ride.”

Bunny snorted, and Will allowed himself a grin.

“We were young, and it was the ‘70s,” he continued, “people did that sort of thing. ”

The mention of his dead wife, and his introduction of the ghost, was as close to opening up to Bunny as Will had ever come, and this was perhaps why she suddenly found herself speaking of the husband she’d been forced to kill.

“One time Tim borrowed a camcorder from a pal of his; Wanted to make a home movie he was already calling Tail from the Darkside. I won’t get into the details of his plan, but that #### wasn’t happening. I may’ve failed high school biology and physics, but even I know the human body wasn’t meant to twist like that.

“Still, I didn’t want to get my ass kicked, because I didn’t think giving me a wallop would do much more than make it worse before he’d even begun, so I did the only thing I could think of.

“I licked his armpit.”

Coffin’s brow peaked.

“Yeah, sure.” said Bunny, “You’ve gotta realize three things – One: No one expects an armpit lick; Two: It’s tough not to laugh at having your armpit licked; Three: It’s also just as tough to turn around and try and #### your armpit licker.

“Hell, I’d been drinking Wild Turkey all day anyway, so my mouth was too numb to notice how ####ty he tasted.”

Her shaking hand, which had once held a bloody frying pan, now raised the spiced liquor.

The desert had dried Bunny’s lips, but it could not keep the moisture from her eyes.

“Where’s this girl anyhow?” she finally asked, as she ran her denim jacket’s forearm across her cheeks.

“Well,” said Coffin, “you’ve probably heard the old story about the quiet hitchhiker who gets picked up in the middle of nowhere? The next day the driver has to go back to where they dropped off their passenger, and they discover a forlorn parent who tells them that it was their kid who’d died, tragically, the year previous?”

“Sure,” replied Bunny, from around the mouth of her drink.

”Yeah, that actually happens sometimes. She’s out cruising at the moment. A depressed phantom gets the energy together to thumb a ride, then they’ve got to remain intensely focused and hope they manage to make it home. It’s a painful process for them, and most snap back to their death site sooner than the ride’s done. Certainly confuses the good samaritan.”

The sun had gained height and heat, and the two dozen feet of brush and sand that lay between themselves and the prone apparition had begun to shimmer.

Without further discussion, the trio sank into their own considerations.

* * *

They were still silently staring into the haze when a shadow flickered past Bunny’s vision, and a second form came to be abruptly lying between the Focus and the cattleman. The twenty-something was wearing an unzipped black sweater, a blue tank top, and black stretch pants. Everything below her neck was slick with blood.

Will was quick to unfurl the silver chain from his pocket and let the intricate hook at its end dangle, but, before he might use the talisman to lift the newcomer from her resting place, the stolid oldtimer rose. Approaching the woman, he bowed low, and offered his hand.

She took it in her translucent own, and the two stood together briefly as she whispered something in his ear which neither Will, nor Bunny, could make out. Ambrose’s reply was clear enough, however: “No, no, Allison, it’s just this blasted warmth is all. Have a safe journey home – and think of me, when you might.”

The strain of remaining upright so soon after her attempted escape was obvious on the girl’s face as she turned away from her companion, so Coffin deftly brushed the arcane charm against her wrist.

They exchanged introductions as he lead her to the car.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Allison was cheerily taking questions from Bunny, who had taken a seat in the back so that Coffin could maintain a grip on his occult tool while driving.

“How the #### do you manage to hitchhike while looking like you caught a Heinz factory explosion to the chest?” asked the lush.

“I learned to only try it at night,” replied the spectre. “I can zip my sweater and cover most of the mess. The guys – it’s always guys – need to keep their eyes on the road mostly anyhow. There was an evening where a geezer tried to get fresh with me, but I gave him have a gory peek, then let myself fall away. I thought it might stop some poor woman from being stuck in a jam in the future.”

As she spoke, the pattern of slashes across the meat of her neck seeped and shifted.

Bunny prodded further. “Why you trying so hard to find a ride?”

“I just want to go home. See my parents. I left on bad terms – well, I was never on good terms with them, I suppose, but I still miss them.

“Ever make it?”

“Nope. The further I went, the harder it got. I never made it much beyond halfway to Elko. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate you guys giving me a lift.”

Bunny finished her whiskey and asked, “what were you doin’ out in the middle of nowhere?”

Allison’s grin deflated.

“I was with my man, Shane. I thought he was magic – but, really, I was an idiot. We weren’t living together, but I was considering it. He drove a limo for the Shaved Kitty Cabaret – a strip club in the south end of Vegas. To keep things fresh a lot of peeler establishments shuffle their dancers around, and Shane spent most of his working hours driving between there and L.A. or San Fran.

“He wasn’t supposed to have anyone with him while he was chauffeuring, but the talent were generally too busy enjoying the complimentary champagne to complain about us being upfront listening to old Tupac live recordings.

“Shane had convinced me that he was a man on his way. He’d gotten the ear of some big money in Los Angeles, and was running trailer crystal into the city. I know how bad that sounds, but – well, death gives you a perspective you maybe didn’t have when you were alive.

“Truly, I didn’t fully understand how deeply he was in it – all I could see was a guy with hot abs and a wallet full of cash. Well, usually full of cash. I only realized how huge his own meth habit had become when we were fighting during the drive back because he couldn’t afford to stop for a Big Mac on the way.

“Tired out, and refusing to talk to him further, I fell asleep with my head against the window, and then we were stopped, and Shane was laughing and laughing. Half unconscious, I stumbled from the car, and he was calling me over to a big pile of nothing. I wanted to leave, but part of me was just glad he wasn’t still mad, because he’d been so quick to get angry. Should have put two and two together there as well, I guess. Anyhow, when I realize there was nothing to see in the dark, I tried to leave, but he – he didn’t let me.

“After I was dead, I couldn’t stop crying.

“Ambrose had to walk over and hold me, and I was too much of a mess to help him lift me, so it couldn’t have been easy. He waited there till dawn, and even when he went back to his spot, he kept talking to me. He explained my situation, and tried to guess at what might free me. He was so formal – but so sweet.

“It wasn’t the last time I blubbered. Sometimes we’d crawl across the ten or so feet of sand and grab each other like we were drowning – it was easier to keep from falling back when we were wrapped together.”

The shade was so lost in her retelling that she failed to notice as Coffin adjusted his course away from her original destination, and towards Las Vegas.

Nor did she note that the knuckles he’d wrapped around his mystic trinket were white with strain.

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP271 – Coffin: Balm, Part 1 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-one.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Balm, Part 1 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
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(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Way of the Buffalo Podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his drunken roommate, find themselves speaking with a dead man beside a lonely Nevada highway.

 

Coffin: Balm, Part 1 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Coffin: Balm“Keep an eye out for landmarks,” said Coffin.

“Landmarks?” replied his tispy traveling companion, Bunny, “It’s a goddamn desert! Take a left at the sand and bushes, but be sure to stop when you hit the sand and bushes – careful, though: If you see the ####ing sand and bushes, you’ve gone too far.”

The pair’s temporary escape from Capital City had continued southward onto the morning-lit highways of Nevada. Coffin, behind the wheel of the rented Ford Focus, frowned at her response.

“You’ve been more of a smartass than usual lately, something you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Yeah, the same two things I’ve been nagging you about since we got on the jet plane – where the #### are we going, and why the #### are we going there?”

As he’d done each previous time she’d asked, Coffin began chewing at his thumbnail.

“Fine,” he replied, ”you’re going to meet my first.”

“What? Christ, I don’t need to know that much about your sex life.”

“No, my first ghost.”

“Huh.”

Though she’d met many of Will’s acquaintances, Bunny could hardly call any of them close friends of his – at least not in the traditional sense. Receiving calls from distant family was one of the few times he had the courtesy to leave the room when answering the phone, and, on those occasions, he was sure to shut himself away in his room.

The personal nature of his confession, and the unusually soft tone in which he’d delivered it, left her silent.

A few miles later she waved a hand at the faded red pole that marked their turn, but Will had already seen it.

The Focus wasn’t built for off-roading, but they hadn’t gone far into the scrub when Coffin cut the engine. His rough-seamed leather jacket creaked as he turned towards Bunny, and his eyes locked on hers.

“Listen, this fellow’s from another time. He can get – excited.”

“Are you seriously ####ing telling me to be a good girl while we’re at Grandpa’s house?” asked Bunny.

Will’s lips twitched.

“No, this guy has been solidly of the same disposition for two hundred years, he could use a dose of modern habits. Just try to be patient.”

With that, one of Will’s hands went to the car door, and the other touched the silver chained talisman which rested within his well-worn pocket.

The man in the stetson had already righted himself by the time they exited the car.

Before she could complain about the unseasonal heat, Bunny found herself laughing.

“It’s a ghost! It’s a cowboy! It’s a friggin’ ghost cowboy!”

If her left hand hadn’t been occupied by a bottle of Fireball whiskey, she might have clapped.

The phantasm wore a close cropped beard, and a gun belt under his stained shirt and ragged vest.

“Hey pardner!” shouted Bunny.

“Simmer down,” said Coffin.

“You the rootin’ tootin’-est?” she asked. “How’s your fast draw?”

The apparition wiped at his chin with a gloved hand and gave her a hard look.

“Holy ####, you’ve got a lot of jingle in your jangle, pilgrim,” she continued, as she staggered closer. The motion, however, seemed to interfere with her commentary.

“Shit, I’m out of Roy Rogers jibber-jabber,” she confessed.

Despite the admission, the dead cattleman drew his weapon.

Suddenly, Bunny was no longer smiling.

She raised the bottle to her lips and swallowed hard. “Hey buffalo ####er, you keep pointing that spook gun at me and you’ll wish you’d died a pacifist.”

It was then that Coffin stepped in. “Ambrose, I’m surprised you’d draw on a lady.”

“Lady?” asked the spectre, as he holstered his weapon, “only a lady of pleasure, at best. To what do I owe the intrusion? Have you returned to once again attempt to solve my problems?”

“Yes,” said Will. “Though, this time, you apparently actually asked for it – or so I was told by the northerners.”

“I suppose I did.”

The cowpuncher paused to tip his brim to Bunny, and the lush raised her drink in reply, though she didn’t meet his stare.

“Coffin,” began the shade, “I’ve seen many things from my resting place – I’ve seen ‘em light the sky with nuclear fire, and neon. I’ve seen pavement pressed over the landscape, and I’ve seen men and women on their last legs as their debt-ridden husks carried them out of Vegas.

“Last spring, though, I was witness to a happening worse than any other I’ve encountered in my long camp.

“A beast of a car pulled up – bigger than any I’ve seen so close. Out pops a wiry maniac – a lad of twenty-five, cackling like he’s just made his fortune in the city. Except, of course, this is the middle of nowhere, and the girl following him out onto the dirt isn’t so sure about his attitude.

“I figured at first I might be about to witness one of the few acts of human congress that hasn’t changed much since my time, but, once they’re at my feet, the lass ain’t so sure. Her boy won’t stop laughing, and no one’s telling any jokes.

“She took a step back towards their vehicle, but he wrapped his hand in her blond hair, and threw her in the dirt.

“Then he had a knife in his hand.” Ambrose cleared his throat. “Hell, I drew on ‘em. Yelled a bunch and kicked sand. Course, he saw none of it, just kept sawing that wicked blade across her throat and rambling about the police.

“Eventually he jumped up, like he’d finished a good night’s sleep, and started digging. About halfway through, though, he started weeping and accusing her of abandoning him.”

Bunny exhaled cinnamon into the morning air, but held her tongue.

It was a moment before the shade found his own.

He raised his milky gaze to the blazing sun.

“She’s been here with me since,” he finally said, ”and I need you to take her home.”

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP Live 001 – Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

Welcome to Flash Pulp Live 001.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Groggy Frog Thai Massage.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight we offer up a not-so-shaggy dog story, as told by Will Coffin, urban shaman.

 

Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Flash Pulp Live 001 - Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPSE12 – The Princess’ Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, Special Episode 12.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Princess’ Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Nutty Bites.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we find ourselves riding with Sofia Esperon through a fantastic land of blades and bewitchment.

 

The Princess’ Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Sofia Esperon was a Princess of The Hundred Kingdoms, and the mount beneath her was a chestnut stallion at the full height of its power. The horse was hard at its pace, its breath pounding the air as much as its legs beat the turf.

Behind her lay a turmoil of upturned grass and men.

The trouble had begun when the Princess had found herself caught between the mire of the damned and the western spout of the madman’s trough – a river widely reputed to scatter minds and leave behind muttering husks.

Skinner Co.She’d known it to be a poor choice for travel, but she’d deemed the expediency a necessity, and the alternative – a week’s travel down the king’s highway, followed by a diplomatically long celebration in the bridge town of Webling – was beyond consideration.

A day’s ride later, however, the man-sized bats of the malignant swamp were quick to support the argument for taking the safer route.

Their broad wings and bone-shivering screeches were enough to drive back her retinue, but not the princess herself, who’d broken from the pack of nobles – hand-selected by her father – to drive further into the cattails and mud.

Sofia had been in sight of the marsh’s end, some two nights following, when the muck’s guardian, Kark, overtook her.

Kark had little respect for any sovereignty other than his own, and no interest in conversation but the whispering of his black-eyed horde.

Esperon’s captivity amongst the reedy fortress was spent with damp boots and annoyed shouts, both ignored by her jailer. Kark’s focus was far too absorbed in the mystic concoction he’d set about preparing: An elixir whose major component – only to be added at the moment of apex – was an inordinate amount of still-warm blood from a true princess.

The citadel, which had been grown, through occult means, from the white cedars of the bog itself, was frustratingly slow in igniting under Sofia’s flint and tinder, and, by the time she’d thoroughly judged the winds and stoked the flames, the banner flags of a local noble had arrived upon the scene.

The thick limb she’d taken up as her defense was hard pressed to fend off the howling sorcerer’s leathery minions, but it was with some surprise that she found herself landing in the arms of the Duke of Somdak after vaulting the smoldering outside wall of the compound.

He was quick to explain that the smoke had drawn him, and that, in truth, she’d done him a favour, as he’d been tracking the fiend who’d fouled his game grounds’ water supply – a crime easily laid at Kark’s feet. It was the extent of their discussion, as Somdak was eager to conquer the remote bastion, and so Sofia was made to wait with the Duke’s serving eunuch while the men of the column unsheathed their blades.

The Duke’s guard, a half-thousand strong, had little trouble dealing with the blight upon their hunting lands, and, after a brief exchange of arcane lightning and crossbow bolts, the wizard’s head was adorning a pike at the ruin of his gate, and the host moved again to the fen’s edge.

Given their easily rusted chain and plate armour, Somdak and his swords were eager to be beyond the moisture – at least such was their excuse when denying her requests to palaver with the Duke, though she could see him, even at her distance, holding open conference with his flask of stout.

She was left to ride the eunuch’s tired mare.

When they finally encountered solid ground, and the hunting party’s followers – set handsomely amongst their caravans and extravagant campsites – Sofia knew she was once again bound by the tedious politics of court.

Within full sight of his supporters, and at the perfect dramatic moment, the Duke dismounted.

He began loudly, “My dearest Princess -” only to find his mind drawing a blank.

“Damn, my apologies,” he whispered, as he leaned close. “While I recall your title from our first encounter, your father’s name and house escapes me at the moment. Your beauty seems to have wiped it from my mind.”

Boasting bravado, and a copious amount of victory ale upon the march, were more likely amnesiacs by Sofia’s considerations, but her own perception had remained, as ever, clear.

“My lord, you do not recall even my name?” she asked.

The Duke looked to his closest lieutenants for assistance, but the woman’s annoyance at being disregarded had prevented her from disclosing details of her position to any other amongst the company.

“A shameful, admission, true,” said Somdak, with some urgency, “so speak it quickly, and ease my heart’s dismay.”

Standing in the yellow light of the grassy plain, she briefly watched the beseeching Lothario sway under the weight of his well adorned plate, and considered her response – then, with the determination that would one day unite the kingdoms beneath her, Sofia raised high her palms and gave a mighty shove against his iron chestplate.

Before the Duke might be righted, Sofia took to the saddle of his stallion and laid in her heels.

There was no time for idle romance – she had a prince to save.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP270 – Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 3 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 3 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp270.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Haywire.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his tipsy companion, encounter a twelve-hundred pound canary.

 

Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 3 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

A half hour of walking had left Bunny wondering if Oregon was an incredibly uneven state, or if she’d perhaps had a bit too much whiskey along the trip.

Finally, however, the path’s intruding branches had thinned, and the brush had given way to a broad lawn.

The grass was ankle deep, and dotted with weeds and wild plants, but the trees were meticulously shaved, creating a field of ornate posts holding aloft a thick canopy of green. Cropped maples, bare of foliage for the lowest twenty feet, stood as support to the thick-trunked sequoias that dominated the view. Faces, scenes, and ornate patterns, had been carved into the surface of the lumber, lending the space the feeling of a naturally grown temple.

At the center, made tiny by the timber pillars that rose around it, was a cabin made of generously applied mortar and rough stone.

There was a large man at the door, in jeans and a plaid flannel shirt.

He was smiling.

“That’s Pa Keeper,” said Coffin. “He’s nice enough, but watch it with the colour commentary. He’s an old fashioned family man.”

“####, do I refer to him as Pa; or Mr. Keeper; or THE Keeper; or the right honourable Keeper, LLC; or what?”

“Just call him Levi.

“Keeper’s not a title, though, it’s his surname. Blackhall picked it. I guess the Victorians were really into that sort of thing.”

“This guy knew Blackhall?” To Bunny’s fuzzy vision, the nearing man looked about fifty.

“No, but his great-great-great-great grandfather did, give or take a great. He was the first Keeper – and the first Axe-Holder, which IS a title, of sorts, held by the eldest living Keeper. Actually, a few decades ago this clearing had three other huts in it – two sets of aunts and uncles, and an Axe-Holder’s widower, but there was an, uh, incident, and now Levi’s branch of the clan is all that remains.”

They were nearly within conversational range with the stranger, but Bunny couldn’t help but make her opinion clear.

“Understanding the history doesn’t make it sound any less ####ing weird,” she said.

“You’ve never had trouble calling me Coffin,” Will replied.

Now that they were within a reasonable distance, he raised his voice.

“Hello there, it’s been too long.”

“Too long by half,” replied Keeper.

* * *

Before moving into the shelter of the stony walls, Bunny thought she heard something like a bull bellowing in dismay, but, instead of inquiring after the noise, she decided it was a low priority on her list of mysteries to solve for the day.

The home’s main chamber was a combination of living room, kitchen, and great hall, with a massive fireplace commanding the majority of the northwest corner, and an upper loft which presented a row of bedroom doors behind a mahogany balcony.

Every wooden surface – the railings, the roof beams, the wall planks – had been adorned with a mix of monstrosities and nature. To her right, on a windowsill overlooking the direction from which they’d come, Bunny noticed a set of detailed trunks that she guessed to be a representation of the forest scene outside. To her eye, the carved bark of the etched trees was worn and faded, but the demons that crept about the image’s edges appeared freshly hewn.

Despite the ornamentation, however, the focus of the lodging was undeniably the double headed axe which rested above the mantelpiece. Cast from a single piece of silver, the gleam of the wide haft was broken only by the leather bindings that formed its grip.

At the room’s center was a banquet table, upon which lay a selection of steaming meats and roasted vegetables, hemmed by a double row of place settings. A collection of carafes and decanters were distributed across the planks, the contents of which greatly intrigued Bunny.

Though there were dozens of chairs set out, none were occupied.

Still, Coffin found a seat at the furthest end.

The conversation was largely filled with the personal details of an aging family: The recent departure of his youngest daughter to be married; a particularly successful hunting trip with his son, Mathias; the stubborn nature of his oldest, Malinda. Before long Bunny found she had a greater interest in the gargoyles decorating the walls, and the spiced rum warming her throat.

Her attention returned, however, when Keeper, with his chair creaking from the stresses of his languid stretch, said “An hour till dark, now.”

“Time to see the canary?” she asked.

Will gave her a straight answer, for once, by rising and shrugging his leather-jacketed shoulders.

* * *

Due to the increasing gloom, the rougher terrain, and her own drunkenness, Bunny found the second leg of the hike considerably more difficult.

It did not help that the further they progressed, the nearer they seemed to come to a raging Incredible Hulk imitator with a megaphone. The shouting was sporadic, however, and fell to silence when they arrived.

They found Malinda, the eldest, sitting upon the cusp of a pit whose edge was as crisply cut as any of the cabin’s engravings.

She stood and hugged her father, then gave her report.

“He managed to shatter one of the struts to use as a throwing weapon,” she said, pointing to the projectile, a rectangle of timber which Bunny thought was likely stout enough to act as a police force’s battering ram. “We’ll have to get a replacement in once Bax is napping, but getting that one broken down took a lot out of him, so I don’t think he’ll have much interest in disturbing the backups.”

The gathered four were clustered at the lip of the drop, and Bunny’s gaze worked busily at the darkness below.

She’d seen a few quarries in her youth – usually through the windows of a boyfriend’s parked car – and she was somewhat disappointed to discover she’d come all this way just to see another.

“Wait,” she said, “is this one of them ####ing invisible beasties? I hate that ####.”

That’s when she realized that what she’d assumed was a shadow on the rocks was actually a tunnel opening at the pit’s bottom.

From somewhere within came the sound of running.

“Let’s step back,” said Levi.

He had the silver axe with him, wrapped in his hands’ bulging knuckles, and Bunny was quick to listen.

The distant slapping of sprinting feet became the rumble of an approaching train, and the fury was soon followed by an echoing howl.

Bunny could not see the runner’s attempt to leap the height of the wall, but her shoes trembled with both impacts; its landing midway up the sheer slope, and the heavy fall to the earth after rebounding.

Coffin had grown preoccupied with the contents of his jacket’s pockets, but the Keepers took a moment to peer over the rim.

When she dared follow suit, Bunny discovered the naked form of a gargantuan man sprawled across the rocks. Oddly, though he was nearly twenty feet tall, and his limbs and face were of bulbous proportions, his belly was tight, and the skin on his ribs taut.

“Who are you?” shouted Bax the Maggot Eater. He’d fallen backwards, and now rested on his spine, huffing. “You’re no Keeper, but I’ll happily wrap my tongue around the candy meats at the top of your spine nonetheless.”

“Maybe he’d be less pissed off if he wasn’t ####ing starving,” Bunny told her fellow spectators.

“Oh, we push a goat in when it’s needed,” replied Levi, “but you don’t want to overfeed an ogre, I assure you.”

“Ogre? You’ve got a pet ogre?”

“The last ogre, no less,” said Malinda, “but he’s not a pet. He killed Mother, and many generations before us. Someday he’ll probably kill Pa, and then, when the axe is mine, me too.”

“What does the axe do exactly?” asked Bunny.

The behemoth had begun to right himself, and was punctuating his ascent with a stream of bassy grunts.

“It’s to kill him, if and when we need to,” responded Levi.

Coffin cleared his throat, and the trio gathered to turn towards him.

Having lost their attention, and once again upright, the Maggot Eater let fly with more verbal abuse.

“When I’m strong again,” he shouted, “I’ll punch a ladder into your prison wall and smash your cabin and piss on your broken bodies. I’ll -”

The beast’s tirade was cut short as Will stepped into his view. The Maggot Eater’s brow wrinkled then, and panic took his legs.

Bax’s babbling was incoherent as he bolted through the entrance to his manmade cave.

Under the last light of the day, the Keepers said goodbye, leaving Coffin and his roommate at the chasm’s brink.

After sipping at some of the rum supply Will had suggested she carry along, Bunny found herself with a question on her lips.

“If they’ve got that cleaver to kill the thing, what the #### do they need you for?” she asked.

“It’s complicated,” replied Will. “I told you there were two rituals. Well, every October, a pair of the Keepers go down and beat the ogre with sticks till he wakes up – The Waking.

“The Maggot Eater is highly aggressive, but he’s not bright, and by the time he’s on his feet, he’s angry enough to blindly chase them back through the labyrinth of mine shafts that Blackhall had built. The goal for his zoo keepers, at that point, is to make it back to their ropes without being eaten – although I’ve been lead to understand that dangling morsels can look especially delicious.

“Normally, if he slept a decade, he might be able to muster enough energy to rampage for a week. By interrupting his slumber though, the Keepers can exhaust him early, and, by dawn, he’s usually comatose enough that they can drag him back into his shelter and clean any mess he’s made.

“The problem, of course, is that he hasn’t gone back to sleep yet, and they woke him weeks ago.

“It isn’t a good sign, but it’s exactly why he’s kept. He’s like a mystical whale, resting near the top of the occult food chain, pulling energy from the very sea around him. We’re in Oregon because it’s about as far a place as Blackhall could manage from the hotspots to the east, but it isn’t enough anymore.

“Our canary is restless.”

Bunny nodded and sipped again from the whiskey bottle she’d refilled from a ceramic pitcher on the banquet table.

“Fine,” she said, “but that’s The Waking, and you said we were here for The Feast.”

“Yes,” said Coffin, giving some spin to the silver links in his hands. The wind seemed to find speed with each rotation of the ornate hook at their end.

“It’s a terrible thing to have to babysit the murderer of your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, but two hundred years of tradition and family is all these people have. Worse, the ogre isn’t the only thing that’s restless – the dead who got lost in the dark, or didn’t quite make it up the rope, or who simply weren’t fast enough, are also eager to stretch their legs.

“There’s one thing that can bring them closure, and that’s the death of the Maggot Eater. He’s too important to kill until there’s no other option – until he can no longer be controlled – so they settle for the infrequent opportunity to attend the feast held in their honour, and the living receive the bonus of having an evening of not staring at the hole.”

He forced his arm into a wider arc, and conversation ceased under the force of the growing storm.

The Maggot Eater’s screams were lost in the rain as the first translucent figure cleared the brim and made for home.

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP269 – Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 2 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-nine.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 2 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp269.mp3]Download MP3
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by Haywire.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, professional lush, approach a blackened pit in the wilds of rural Oregon.

 

Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 2 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Bunny was alone, at a white topped table, sipping from the chipped mug that held her morning coffee. She knew she’d put too much whiskey in, but her irritation at her traveling companion had made her pouring hand heavy.

Across the motel lobby’s sitting area was a freshly showered man whose black suit stood sharply against the wallpaper’s pastel floral pattern. His cologne was far reaching, and there was a laptop bag at his feet, so she guessed he was likely staying on business. He was rifling the breakfast buffet’s selection of muffins, hoping, Bunny thought, for any that might contain chocolate chips.

She knew there were none, as she’d eaten the last three.

Through the entrance’s sliding glass doors she could see Coffin occupying the battered phone booth at the edge of the parking lot, but there was too much distance and filmy dirt between them to speculate on how his call was going.

Finally, as the cloud of cologne receded through a side exit with a lump of bran in his palm, Will returned the receiver to its cradle.

Moments later they were in the rented Volkswagen Golf, and heading south.

Since stepping off of their sudden cross-country flight, Bunny had attempted a passive-aggressive silence, but she was beginning to realize it was akin to teaching a kid proper eating habits by allowing him to devour as much chocolate icing as he wanted.

Outside her window, Bunny watched an unending procession of rocks and trees slide by.

“Nice chat?” she asked.

“I suppose,” he replied.

“Excellent, excellent – and, if I might enquire, what the #### are we doing in Oregon?”

“We’ve come to visit some people I know, and the canary they take care of.”

“So what was that hot rod bull#### last night, and who do you keep talking to on the phone?”

“The people we’re heading towards – they’re the sort of folks you don’t want to surprise. It’s always best to give them plenty of notice before you approach, and it doesn’t hurt to do them a few favours first either.”

Bunny’s bottle of Jim Beam gave out as she was considering her reply.

“Got a few bucks for, uhm, coffee?” she asked, “Mine’s getting a little low.”

“They don’t sell booze in gas stations here, but I happen to know there’s a store ahead.”

By the time she returned to the car, Tom Waits was singing too loudly to allow for further conversation.

* * *

The cold marked the season as unarguably winter, but snow had yet to touch the thick evergreens beyond the gate at which they parked.

The fence stretched into the distance on either side of them, though the majority of it cut through the greenery, and was thus invisible from the road.

Coffin paused at the entrance, gave a badly faked stage-cough, and produced a key.

Though the chain link looked freshly raised – despite the weather, Bunny could see no sign of rust on the razor wire that ran its length – the lock was flecked with red and hanging from a too-flimsy chain.

Once inside, she couldn’t help but remark on the fact.

“Seems like a waste to use such an ancient piece of junk, considering how much the rest of the security must have cost. That thing doesn’t look like it would keep out a determined toddler; I’m surprised it didn’t come apart in your hands.”

“The clasp isn’t corroded,” said a bassy-voiced sprawling pine on her left, ”it’s always been crimson. It used to be a heavy necklace – a locket, of sorts.

“It was originally built to keep a queen safe, but it does well as our door stop.”

“Oh, ####,” replied Bunny, “is this an Ent moot?”

Will suggested she drink her coffee.

From within the shelter of the boughs appeared a set of hazel eyes, under which hung a pair of pressed lips. The needles began to shiver, and the form of a youth pulled free of the timber. Bunny realized his invisibility was achieved through the clever combination of makeup and rags.

“You’re a few months late, Sheriff,” the newcomer told Coffin.

“I’ve been busy,” replied the leather-jacketed shaman.

“You think that means it’s been nothing but a slumber party here?”

“No, I suppose it hasn’t. How’s this: I’ll go apologize to your Pa, then maybe I’ll let you beat me in a few rounds of chess – that is, unless you’ve got too many competitors already lined up?”

“I’d lead you in, but…” started the teen. He allowed his sentence to trail into a smile.

“I know the route,” replied Coffin.

They shook hands and parted ways.

Five minutes down the thin dirt path, Bunny was damning herself for having been so easily silenced earlier.

“Who are these guys? Anything spooky?” she asked.

“Yes and no. They’re berserkers of the old school. Dangerous, but nothing mystical. Ten generations of otherwise normal people raised on rage, ritual, and magic mushrooms. Mathias back there is the middle child, with a living sister on either side of him.”

“He didn’t seem particularly angry.”

“Hard to stay mad when the ice cream guy comes. Besides, I happen to know his younger sister, who could likely take us both on at the same time in a bare-knuckle boxing match, is getting married. Being so isolated, the Keepers are very family oriented. We caught them in a good mood, which is lucky, and a bit surprising.”

“What are they keeping, and what are we doing here?”

“We’re going to hold a party. These people only have two holidays a year – The Waking, and The Feast. Just be glad we’re here for The Feast.

“Before you gorge yourself on cheap beer and over-cooked roasted meat, however, we’ve got to check on an angry twelve-hundred-pound canary.”

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.