Tag: story

FP273 – Coffin: Balm, Part 3 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-three.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Balm, Part 3 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp273.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Way of the Buffalo Podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his mouthy companion, escort a ghost into Las Vegas.

 

Coffin: Balm, Part 3 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

CoffinAt noon Bunny was sitting in a bar named Jimbo’s, at the southern end of Vegas.

Despite having run dry of whiskey while north of the city, she had not intended on entering the establishment.

An hour earlier, while parked across from a squat pink-plastered bungalow, Will had pushed her out of the rented Focus with fifty bucks and a request that she purchase a shovel. The bored looking teen behind the nearest 7-11 counter had given her the most likely location to find the tool: A Home Depot, some five blocks away.

Except for the occasional liquor run, Bunny had rarely been left to wander in the real world since meeting Coffin. Still, the nature of their current business had her wanting nothing more than to be done with it, and she’d moved quickly along the heat-baked sidewalk while providing a mumbled, yet foul-mouthed, commentary on her surroundings.

Almost as if to spite her mood, the stroll had revealed a surprisingly nice suburb, and the hardware store appeared freshly planted. She’d departed the checkout line with a solid shovel, and a twenty for change.

It was only then that she noticed the sports bar hanging from the end of a neighbouring plaza, and encountered a series of entwined coincidences that would change the trajectory of her life.

The first stepped from his dusty chevy to pull wide the watering hole’s glass-fronted door. Thin-faced and slouch shouldered, Bunny’s distant eye had convinced her he was a perfect match for her dead husband, Tim.

With the tool in one hand, and the other sweating heavily around the Jackson in her pocket, she’d followed him inside.

There, with a beer cooling her palms, and air conditioning on her face, she observed the nodding back of the stranger’s head from the depths of a cavernous booth. She’d been doing fine until he’d started tapping the bar’s trim along to Bob Seger’s declaration of love for old time rock and roll.

“Exactly your sort of bull####,” she said to no one but herself.

Her eyes stung as she staggered to her feet, and every step she took spanned a memory.

The early days came first: Dancing to this very song while ducking to avoid the low hanging ceiling in their first apartment’s basement living room; Sharing bottles of Smirnoff and smoking joints on the balcony of their second place, while watching the sun sink away and rise again.

Her vision was a blur when she halved the distance to the bar, but her focus was solely on the time Tim had climbed a fence to defend her honour against a hooligan kid who’d been badmouthing her from the far side.

It had been gallant, even if the idiot had accidentally broken his leg on the way down.

She touched the Tim-a-like’s shoulder, and suddenly her mind returned to the kitchen of their final apartment, with the smell of iron and sulphur in the air, and her belly burning from a knife wound.

Without wanting to, she remembered the blade in her own hand, and the heavy thud of his fall after she’d buried it in his brow.

She’d cried then too.

“The fuck’s your problem?” demanded the startled stranger, as he spun on his stool.

A coincidental choice of words, but the same response she’d received whenever Tim had found her weeping – usually due to his own handiwork.

If there was anything familiar in the man’s face, it was the drunk’s common hunger to be left alone with their can of Busch, and nothing more.

Leaving her glass half-full on the counter, Bunny made for the exit.

* * *

Will Coffin, standing on the cement doorstep of the bungalow with the silver chain in his hand, was being questioned by the specter at the tip of his occult leash.

Allison was asking, “shouldn’t we wait till your partner gets back?”

The dead girl had directed them to the right home easily enough, and the parked stretch-Hummer, with its custom hot tub, had reassured Coffin that her meth-craving ex-boyfriend was indeed living there, and home.

After Bunny’s departure, however, the phantom had provided endless excuses as to why the visitation was a bad idea.

In the end he’d had to pull her from the car.

He knocked again.

“No,” he replied. “There’s too much chance at play in this kind of surprise party, and Bunny tends to startle people.”

Coffin had never been a fan of the heat, and his leather jacket was little help under the relentless sun. He was eager to be on his way, but he made conversation as he measured the entry’s thickness against the weight of his boot. “How did he manage to afford this place?”

“It’s a rental, but between the limo and the drugs he makes decent bank. You’re definitely not going to kick your way in, he’s got a bunch of deadbolts.”

“Well then,” said the shaman, as he jiggled the arcane links, “how about you spook on in there and open them from the other side?”

* * *

As it happened, Shane was expecting a different sort of company. His long term habit had finally pushed him into unmanageable depths, and he’d barely been able to park his technically-still-on-the-job limo before he’d bolted shut his front door and took to his couch with a pilfered supply of his addiction, and an abruptly-shortened shotgun.

He couldn’t tell if the banging from outside was real or not, but he’d cracked a window to let out any errant fumes, and crept into the hallway.

Upon arrival, he was fairly convinced that the translucent arm which came reaching for the locks was a hallucination.

The sleight fingers worked the chains and knobs, and there was something he recognized in those chewed, but somehow delicate, nails.

“Hell, this must be the best I’ve ever had,” he said, but the flood of chemically induced paranoia made it a hollow victory.

As the entrance swung wide to reveal the girl he’d buried deep and a lanky man in a biker jacket, Shane’s mind continued to argue it was all a figment of his imagination – but his hand raised high the barrel of his gun.

Coffin took a single step into the shadows of the home’s interior, then froze when he realized he was caught in the line of fire behind Allison’s insubstantial form – but, before the junkie could shoot, Allison began to babble.

“You killed me! You left me beneath the sand to rot!”

“How can you be pissed that I killed you if you’re here complaining at me?” replied Shane.

“I’m a ghost, asshole!

“- or you’re just my fucking delusion – whatever the case, it can’t be that bad if you’re here bitching.”

The girl was wailing now, and the fist with which she held the entrance’s handle slammed the slab’s weight repeatedly against the jamb. “You don’t know what it is being locked in the sun like that, lying like I’m dying forever.”

Shane’s trigger hand steadied, though his voice did not. “What the fuck is your problem!? I may as well kill you twice, you fu-”

“#### gobbling donkey fondler!”

Bunny didn’t give the gunman a chance to respond. With the momentum of five blocks of growing anger behind her swing, she lay the flat of the shovel across the peak of his skull.

The murderer reeled, and dropped his weapon, but he briefly kept his feet.

“MY problem!?” asked Bunny, as she set her grip wide behind her shoulders, “I’ll give you a ####ing problem.”

Her second stroke snapped the metal scoop from the wooden shaft, and left Shane unconscious on the floor.

It was only once Will touched her neck that she stopped beating the man with the shattered stem.

For a moment there was just the sound of ragged breathing, then Bunny turned to face her traveling companion.

“I’m impressed,” said Coffin.

“Hell, I know a couple fighting from five-hundred ####ing yards,” she replied. “and I could see your back at the door. Figured you must be in trouble to be letting them carry on like that.

“From there – well, Christ, every one of these idiots I’ve known is the same: They’ve got a thousand latches, but they crack the glass to vent their stink – and there ain’t a drunk alive who hasn’t mastered crawling through a window from having locked their keys inside their place so often.”

Though her cheeks were wet, she couldn’t help but let out a laugh. She dropped her club.

“####, I couldn’t just let him kill you. I’m all the ####ing friends you got, and I can’t afford the funeral.”

Will smiled.

Behind him, at the chain’s furthest length, waited Allison.

The spirit sniffed, and Coffin sighed.

“I’m sorry this wasn’t your solution, but I hope there’s a little satisfaction in it for you,” he said. “I think it’s best if you take a bit to gather yourself, and you’ll likely want a some privacy with your cowboy.

“We’ll be there soon.“

As he finished Will let go of the talisman, and, before the phantom might resist, the returned pull of her resting place overcame her.

“You thought pummeling this douche jockey would bring her closure and let her go?” asked Bunny, as her roommate retrieved a pair of gloves from the interior of his coat, and stooped towards the unconscious body.

“Nah, but I’ll certainly feel better when we dig up her corpse and lock it in his trunk for the highway patrol to find.” Coffin pulled the Hummer’s keys from Shane’s pocket. “We’re going to need another shovel, though.”

“Might have been easier to just drive her home.”

“Oh, we’ll try that too, but It won’t help – it never does. Person like that longs to go back, but they didn’t get dead by having a family that cared. They know what they want, but they don’t know what they need. Like I’ve said, often the best I can do is provide a distraction.”

* * *

They were nearly out of the city before Bunny spoke again.

“I think we should get some ice – a big pile of ice.” As she said it, she pointed at a passing gas station whose freezer brimmed with white bags.

“Ice?” asked Will.

“Yeah. Maybe it’s just another of your distractions, but – well, the girl and her bronco buster seem to complain a lot about the heat. Might be nice to fill the hot tub for them, at least till it all melts. Besides – I dunno, I have this idea that maybe what they’re looking for is each other. Is that a possibility? I don’t know all the Casper rules yet.”

“Now there’s an interesting thought,” said Coffin, as he pulled the wheel around.

It would be a long time before she would let him forget how right she was.

 

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP271 – Coffin: Balm, Part 1 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy-one.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Balm, Part 1 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp271.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Way of the Buffalo Podcast.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his drunken roommate, find themselves speaking with a dead man beside a lonely Nevada highway.

 

Coffin: Balm, Part 1 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Coffin: Balm“Keep an eye out for landmarks,” said Coffin.

“Landmarks?” replied his tispy traveling companion, Bunny, “It’s a goddamn desert! Take a left at the sand and bushes, but be sure to stop when you hit the sand and bushes – careful, though: If you see the ####ing sand and bushes, you’ve gone too far.”

The pair’s temporary escape from Capital City had continued southward onto the morning-lit highways of Nevada. Coffin, behind the wheel of the rented Ford Focus, frowned at her response.

“You’ve been more of a smartass than usual lately, something you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Yeah, the same two things I’ve been nagging you about since we got on the jet plane – where the #### are we going, and why the #### are we going there?”

As he’d done each previous time she’d asked, Coffin began chewing at his thumbnail.

“Fine,” he replied, ”you’re going to meet my first.”

“What? Christ, I don’t need to know that much about your sex life.”

“No, my first ghost.”

“Huh.”

Though she’d met many of Will’s acquaintances, Bunny could hardly call any of them close friends of his – at least not in the traditional sense. Receiving calls from distant family was one of the few times he had the courtesy to leave the room when answering the phone, and, on those occasions, he was sure to shut himself away in his room.

The personal nature of his confession, and the unusually soft tone in which he’d delivered it, left her silent.

A few miles later she waved a hand at the faded red pole that marked their turn, but Will had already seen it.

The Focus wasn’t built for off-roading, but they hadn’t gone far into the scrub when Coffin cut the engine. His rough-seamed leather jacket creaked as he turned towards Bunny, and his eyes locked on hers.

“Listen, this fellow’s from another time. He can get – excited.”

“Are you seriously ####ing telling me to be a good girl while we’re at Grandpa’s house?” asked Bunny.

Will’s lips twitched.

“No, this guy has been solidly of the same disposition for two hundred years, he could use a dose of modern habits. Just try to be patient.”

With that, one of Will’s hands went to the car door, and the other touched the silver chained talisman which rested within his well-worn pocket.

The man in the stetson had already righted himself by the time they exited the car.

Before she could complain about the unseasonal heat, Bunny found herself laughing.

“It’s a ghost! It’s a cowboy! It’s a friggin’ ghost cowboy!”

If her left hand hadn’t been occupied by a bottle of Fireball whiskey, she might have clapped.

The phantasm wore a close cropped beard, and a gun belt under his stained shirt and ragged vest.

“Hey pardner!” shouted Bunny.

“Simmer down,” said Coffin.

“You the rootin’ tootin’-est?” she asked. “How’s your fast draw?”

The apparition wiped at his chin with a gloved hand and gave her a hard look.

“Holy ####, you’ve got a lot of jingle in your jangle, pilgrim,” she continued, as she staggered closer. The motion, however, seemed to interfere with her commentary.

“Shit, I’m out of Roy Rogers jibber-jabber,” she confessed.

Despite the admission, the dead cattleman drew his weapon.

Suddenly, Bunny was no longer smiling.

She raised the bottle to her lips and swallowed hard. “Hey buffalo ####er, you keep pointing that spook gun at me and you’ll wish you’d died a pacifist.”

It was then that Coffin stepped in. “Ambrose, I’m surprised you’d draw on a lady.”

“Lady?” asked the spectre, as he holstered his weapon, “only a lady of pleasure, at best. To what do I owe the intrusion? Have you returned to once again attempt to solve my problems?”

“Yes,” said Will. “Though, this time, you apparently actually asked for it – or so I was told by the northerners.”

“I suppose I did.”

The cowpuncher paused to tip his brim to Bunny, and the lush raised her drink in reply, though she didn’t meet his stare.

“Coffin,” began the shade, “I’ve seen many things from my resting place – I’ve seen ‘em light the sky with nuclear fire, and neon. I’ve seen pavement pressed over the landscape, and I’ve seen men and women on their last legs as their debt-ridden husks carried them out of Vegas.

“Last spring, though, I was witness to a happening worse than any other I’ve encountered in my long camp.

“A beast of a car pulled up – bigger than any I’ve seen so close. Out pops a wiry maniac – a lad of twenty-five, cackling like he’s just made his fortune in the city. Except, of course, this is the middle of nowhere, and the girl following him out onto the dirt isn’t so sure about his attitude.

“I figured at first I might be about to witness one of the few acts of human congress that hasn’t changed much since my time, but, once they’re at my feet, the lass ain’t so sure. Her boy won’t stop laughing, and no one’s telling any jokes.

“She took a step back towards their vehicle, but he wrapped his hand in her blond hair, and threw her in the dirt.

“Then he had a knife in his hand.” Ambrose cleared his throat. “Hell, I drew on ‘em. Yelled a bunch and kicked sand. Course, he saw none of it, just kept sawing that wicked blade across her throat and rambling about the police.

“Eventually he jumped up, like he’d finished a good night’s sleep, and started digging. About halfway through, though, he started weeping and accusing her of abandoning him.”

Bunny exhaled cinnamon into the morning air, but held her tongue.

It was a moment before the shade found his own.

He raised his milky gaze to the blazing sun.

“She’s been here with me since,” he finally said, ”and I need you to take her home.”

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP Live 001 – Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

Welcome to Flash Pulp Live 001.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpLive001.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Groggy Frog Thai Massage.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight we offer up a not-so-shaggy dog story, as told by Will Coffin, urban shaman.

 

Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Flash Pulp Live 001 - Coffin: Once in a Blue Moon

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP270 – Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 3 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and seventy.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 3 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp270.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Haywire.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his tipsy companion, encounter a twelve-hundred pound canary.

 

Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 3 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

A half hour of walking had left Bunny wondering if Oregon was an incredibly uneven state, or if she’d perhaps had a bit too much whiskey along the trip.

Finally, however, the path’s intruding branches had thinned, and the brush had given way to a broad lawn.

The grass was ankle deep, and dotted with weeds and wild plants, but the trees were meticulously shaved, creating a field of ornate posts holding aloft a thick canopy of green. Cropped maples, bare of foliage for the lowest twenty feet, stood as support to the thick-trunked sequoias that dominated the view. Faces, scenes, and ornate patterns, had been carved into the surface of the lumber, lending the space the feeling of a naturally grown temple.

At the center, made tiny by the timber pillars that rose around it, was a cabin made of generously applied mortar and rough stone.

There was a large man at the door, in jeans and a plaid flannel shirt.

He was smiling.

“That’s Pa Keeper,” said Coffin. “He’s nice enough, but watch it with the colour commentary. He’s an old fashioned family man.”

“####, do I refer to him as Pa; or Mr. Keeper; or THE Keeper; or the right honourable Keeper, LLC; or what?”

“Just call him Levi.

“Keeper’s not a title, though, it’s his surname. Blackhall picked it. I guess the Victorians were really into that sort of thing.”

“This guy knew Blackhall?” To Bunny’s fuzzy vision, the nearing man looked about fifty.

“No, but his great-great-great-great grandfather did, give or take a great. He was the first Keeper – and the first Axe-Holder, which IS a title, of sorts, held by the eldest living Keeper. Actually, a few decades ago this clearing had three other huts in it – two sets of aunts and uncles, and an Axe-Holder’s widower, but there was an, uh, incident, and now Levi’s branch of the clan is all that remains.”

They were nearly within conversational range with the stranger, but Bunny couldn’t help but make her opinion clear.

“Understanding the history doesn’t make it sound any less ####ing weird,” she said.

“You’ve never had trouble calling me Coffin,” Will replied.

Now that they were within a reasonable distance, he raised his voice.

“Hello there, it’s been too long.”

“Too long by half,” replied Keeper.

* * *

Before moving into the shelter of the stony walls, Bunny thought she heard something like a bull bellowing in dismay, but, instead of inquiring after the noise, she decided it was a low priority on her list of mysteries to solve for the day.

The home’s main chamber was a combination of living room, kitchen, and great hall, with a massive fireplace commanding the majority of the northwest corner, and an upper loft which presented a row of bedroom doors behind a mahogany balcony.

Every wooden surface – the railings, the roof beams, the wall planks – had been adorned with a mix of monstrosities and nature. To her right, on a windowsill overlooking the direction from which they’d come, Bunny noticed a set of detailed trunks that she guessed to be a representation of the forest scene outside. To her eye, the carved bark of the etched trees was worn and faded, but the demons that crept about the image’s edges appeared freshly hewn.

Despite the ornamentation, however, the focus of the lodging was undeniably the double headed axe which rested above the mantelpiece. Cast from a single piece of silver, the gleam of the wide haft was broken only by the leather bindings that formed its grip.

At the room’s center was a banquet table, upon which lay a selection of steaming meats and roasted vegetables, hemmed by a double row of place settings. A collection of carafes and decanters were distributed across the planks, the contents of which greatly intrigued Bunny.

Though there were dozens of chairs set out, none were occupied.

Still, Coffin found a seat at the furthest end.

The conversation was largely filled with the personal details of an aging family: The recent departure of his youngest daughter to be married; a particularly successful hunting trip with his son, Mathias; the stubborn nature of his oldest, Malinda. Before long Bunny found she had a greater interest in the gargoyles decorating the walls, and the spiced rum warming her throat.

Her attention returned, however, when Keeper, with his chair creaking from the stresses of his languid stretch, said “An hour till dark, now.”

“Time to see the canary?” she asked.

Will gave her a straight answer, for once, by rising and shrugging his leather-jacketed shoulders.

* * *

Due to the increasing gloom, the rougher terrain, and her own drunkenness, Bunny found the second leg of the hike considerably more difficult.

It did not help that the further they progressed, the nearer they seemed to come to a raging Incredible Hulk imitator with a megaphone. The shouting was sporadic, however, and fell to silence when they arrived.

They found Malinda, the eldest, sitting upon the cusp of a pit whose edge was as crisply cut as any of the cabin’s engravings.

She stood and hugged her father, then gave her report.

“He managed to shatter one of the struts to use as a throwing weapon,” she said, pointing to the projectile, a rectangle of timber which Bunny thought was likely stout enough to act as a police force’s battering ram. “We’ll have to get a replacement in once Bax is napping, but getting that one broken down took a lot out of him, so I don’t think he’ll have much interest in disturbing the backups.”

The gathered four were clustered at the lip of the drop, and Bunny’s gaze worked busily at the darkness below.

She’d seen a few quarries in her youth – usually through the windows of a boyfriend’s parked car – and she was somewhat disappointed to discover she’d come all this way just to see another.

“Wait,” she said, “is this one of them ####ing invisible beasties? I hate that ####.”

That’s when she realized that what she’d assumed was a shadow on the rocks was actually a tunnel opening at the pit’s bottom.

From somewhere within came the sound of running.

“Let’s step back,” said Levi.

He had the silver axe with him, wrapped in his hands’ bulging knuckles, and Bunny was quick to listen.

The distant slapping of sprinting feet became the rumble of an approaching train, and the fury was soon followed by an echoing howl.

Bunny could not see the runner’s attempt to leap the height of the wall, but her shoes trembled with both impacts; its landing midway up the sheer slope, and the heavy fall to the earth after rebounding.

Coffin had grown preoccupied with the contents of his jacket’s pockets, but the Keepers took a moment to peer over the rim.

When she dared follow suit, Bunny discovered the naked form of a gargantuan man sprawled across the rocks. Oddly, though he was nearly twenty feet tall, and his limbs and face were of bulbous proportions, his belly was tight, and the skin on his ribs taut.

“Who are you?” shouted Bax the Maggot Eater. He’d fallen backwards, and now rested on his spine, huffing. “You’re no Keeper, but I’ll happily wrap my tongue around the candy meats at the top of your spine nonetheless.”

“Maybe he’d be less pissed off if he wasn’t ####ing starving,” Bunny told her fellow spectators.

“Oh, we push a goat in when it’s needed,” replied Levi, “but you don’t want to overfeed an ogre, I assure you.”

“Ogre? You’ve got a pet ogre?”

“The last ogre, no less,” said Malinda, “but he’s not a pet. He killed Mother, and many generations before us. Someday he’ll probably kill Pa, and then, when the axe is mine, me too.”

“What does the axe do exactly?” asked Bunny.

The behemoth had begun to right himself, and was punctuating his ascent with a stream of bassy grunts.

“It’s to kill him, if and when we need to,” responded Levi.

Coffin cleared his throat, and the trio gathered to turn towards him.

Having lost their attention, and once again upright, the Maggot Eater let fly with more verbal abuse.

“When I’m strong again,” he shouted, “I’ll punch a ladder into your prison wall and smash your cabin and piss on your broken bodies. I’ll -”

The beast’s tirade was cut short as Will stepped into his view. The Maggot Eater’s brow wrinkled then, and panic took his legs.

Bax’s babbling was incoherent as he bolted through the entrance to his manmade cave.

Under the last light of the day, the Keepers said goodbye, leaving Coffin and his roommate at the chasm’s brink.

After sipping at some of the rum supply Will had suggested she carry along, Bunny found herself with a question on her lips.

“If they’ve got that cleaver to kill the thing, what the #### do they need you for?” she asked.

“It’s complicated,” replied Will. “I told you there were two rituals. Well, every October, a pair of the Keepers go down and beat the ogre with sticks till he wakes up – The Waking.

“The Maggot Eater is highly aggressive, but he’s not bright, and by the time he’s on his feet, he’s angry enough to blindly chase them back through the labyrinth of mine shafts that Blackhall had built. The goal for his zoo keepers, at that point, is to make it back to their ropes without being eaten – although I’ve been lead to understand that dangling morsels can look especially delicious.

“Normally, if he slept a decade, he might be able to muster enough energy to rampage for a week. By interrupting his slumber though, the Keepers can exhaust him early, and, by dawn, he’s usually comatose enough that they can drag him back into his shelter and clean any mess he’s made.

“The problem, of course, is that he hasn’t gone back to sleep yet, and they woke him weeks ago.

“It isn’t a good sign, but it’s exactly why he’s kept. He’s like a mystical whale, resting near the top of the occult food chain, pulling energy from the very sea around him. We’re in Oregon because it’s about as far a place as Blackhall could manage from the hotspots to the east, but it isn’t enough anymore.

“Our canary is restless.”

Bunny nodded and sipped again from the whiskey bottle she’d refilled from a ceramic pitcher on the banquet table.

“Fine,” she said, “but that’s The Waking, and you said we were here for The Feast.”

“Yes,” said Coffin, giving some spin to the silver links in his hands. The wind seemed to find speed with each rotation of the ornate hook at their end.

“It’s a terrible thing to have to babysit the murderer of your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, but two hundred years of tradition and family is all these people have. Worse, the ogre isn’t the only thing that’s restless – the dead who got lost in the dark, or didn’t quite make it up the rope, or who simply weren’t fast enough, are also eager to stretch their legs.

“There’s one thing that can bring them closure, and that’s the death of the Maggot Eater. He’s too important to kill until there’s no other option – until he can no longer be controlled – so they settle for the infrequent opportunity to attend the feast held in their honour, and the living receive the bonus of having an evening of not staring at the hole.”

He forced his arm into a wider arc, and conversation ceased under the force of the growing storm.

The Maggot Eater’s screams were lost in the rain as the first translucent figure cleared the brim and made for home.

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP269 – Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 2 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-nine.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 2 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp269.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Haywire.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, professional lush, approach a blackened pit in the wilds of rural Oregon.

 

Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 2 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Bunny was alone, at a white topped table, sipping from the chipped mug that held her morning coffee. She knew she’d put too much whiskey in, but her irritation at her traveling companion had made her pouring hand heavy.

Across the motel lobby’s sitting area was a freshly showered man whose black suit stood sharply against the wallpaper’s pastel floral pattern. His cologne was far reaching, and there was a laptop bag at his feet, so she guessed he was likely staying on business. He was rifling the breakfast buffet’s selection of muffins, hoping, Bunny thought, for any that might contain chocolate chips.

She knew there were none, as she’d eaten the last three.

Through the entrance’s sliding glass doors she could see Coffin occupying the battered phone booth at the edge of the parking lot, but there was too much distance and filmy dirt between them to speculate on how his call was going.

Finally, as the cloud of cologne receded through a side exit with a lump of bran in his palm, Will returned the receiver to its cradle.

Moments later they were in the rented Volkswagen Golf, and heading south.

Since stepping off of their sudden cross-country flight, Bunny had attempted a passive-aggressive silence, but she was beginning to realize it was akin to teaching a kid proper eating habits by allowing him to devour as much chocolate icing as he wanted.

Outside her window, Bunny watched an unending procession of rocks and trees slide by.

“Nice chat?” she asked.

“I suppose,” he replied.

“Excellent, excellent – and, if I might enquire, what the #### are we doing in Oregon?”

“We’ve come to visit some people I know, and the canary they take care of.”

“So what was that hot rod bull#### last night, and who do you keep talking to on the phone?”

“The people we’re heading towards – they’re the sort of folks you don’t want to surprise. It’s always best to give them plenty of notice before you approach, and it doesn’t hurt to do them a few favours first either.”

Bunny’s bottle of Jim Beam gave out as she was considering her reply.

“Got a few bucks for, uhm, coffee?” she asked, “Mine’s getting a little low.”

“They don’t sell booze in gas stations here, but I happen to know there’s a store ahead.”

By the time she returned to the car, Tom Waits was singing too loudly to allow for further conversation.

* * *

The cold marked the season as unarguably winter, but snow had yet to touch the thick evergreens beyond the gate at which they parked.

The fence stretched into the distance on either side of them, though the majority of it cut through the greenery, and was thus invisible from the road.

Coffin paused at the entrance, gave a badly faked stage-cough, and produced a key.

Though the chain link looked freshly raised – despite the weather, Bunny could see no sign of rust on the razor wire that ran its length – the lock was flecked with red and hanging from a too-flimsy chain.

Once inside, she couldn’t help but remark on the fact.

“Seems like a waste to use such an ancient piece of junk, considering how much the rest of the security must have cost. That thing doesn’t look like it would keep out a determined toddler; I’m surprised it didn’t come apart in your hands.”

“The clasp isn’t corroded,” said a bassy-voiced sprawling pine on her left, ”it’s always been crimson. It used to be a heavy necklace – a locket, of sorts.

“It was originally built to keep a queen safe, but it does well as our door stop.”

“Oh, ####,” replied Bunny, “is this an Ent moot?”

Will suggested she drink her coffee.

From within the shelter of the boughs appeared a set of hazel eyes, under which hung a pair of pressed lips. The needles began to shiver, and the form of a youth pulled free of the timber. Bunny realized his invisibility was achieved through the clever combination of makeup and rags.

“You’re a few months late, Sheriff,” the newcomer told Coffin.

“I’ve been busy,” replied the leather-jacketed shaman.

“You think that means it’s been nothing but a slumber party here?”

“No, I suppose it hasn’t. How’s this: I’ll go apologize to your Pa, then maybe I’ll let you beat me in a few rounds of chess – that is, unless you’ve got too many competitors already lined up?”

“I’d lead you in, but…” started the teen. He allowed his sentence to trail into a smile.

“I know the route,” replied Coffin.

They shook hands and parted ways.

Five minutes down the thin dirt path, Bunny was damning herself for having been so easily silenced earlier.

“Who are these guys? Anything spooky?” she asked.

“Yes and no. They’re berserkers of the old school. Dangerous, but nothing mystical. Ten generations of otherwise normal people raised on rage, ritual, and magic mushrooms. Mathias back there is the middle child, with a living sister on either side of him.”

“He didn’t seem particularly angry.”

“Hard to stay mad when the ice cream guy comes. Besides, I happen to know his younger sister, who could likely take us both on at the same time in a bare-knuckle boxing match, is getting married. Being so isolated, the Keepers are very family oriented. We caught them in a good mood, which is lucky, and a bit surprising.”

“What are they keeping, and what are we doing here?”

“We’re going to hold a party. These people only have two holidays a year – The Waking, and The Feast. Just be glad we’re here for The Feast.

“Before you gorge yourself on cheap beer and over-cooked roasted meat, however, we’ve got to check on an angry twelve-hundred-pound canary.”

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP268 – Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 1 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-eight.

Flash PulpTonight we present Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 1 of 3
(Part 1Part 2Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp268.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Haywire.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Will Coffin, urban shaman, and Bunny, his wobbly compatriot, find themselves watching a race.

 

Coffin: Infrastructure, Part 1 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Nicholas Gretz, in a dirty pair of loose-tongued sneakers, eyed the murky pavement before him. Beside him roared a maroon 1965 Chevelle, which shivered under the forces its idling engine pushed through the bodywork of the car.

Nicholas had come to see a race.

Although he stood on the blacktop, the man had no fear of oncoming drivers. In a former life the road had been a highway, but, decades ago, its hazardous contours had caused it to be unhooked from the network that carried vacationing families and heavy-haul transports. The broad ditches had grown thick with underbrush, and the spruce and oak that lined the run sagged over the cement like weeping mourners, crowding the abandoned asphalt.

It hadn’t seemed so remote when he’d exited the new interstate. It had taken some searching before he could wheel gingerly onto the proper mud track, but, when he’d exited the driver’s seat and stretched his legs, he could hear far-off traffic – now, the close-walled lane was dominated by the rumble of the V8.

It was five minutes after midnight.

The evening had brought on a strong moon, but a brewing storm made it difficult for the light to find its way through the trees. Despite the conditions, Nicholas felt as if his gaze could trace every crack and pothole from his position to the turn, a short mile away.

He’d walked the place enough in the daytime that it might have even been true – he certainly needed no assistance to spot Lena.

At the distant corner, a girl of eighteen, whose long bleached hair shone against the dim, drifted from the scrub, and took her station at the center of the bend. She wore a men’s white t-shirt, over a ragged pair of jeans, and her thin wrist was laden with a cascade of glowing neon bracelets; pink, green, and purple.

Nicholas remembered watching that same delicate wrist intently as they’d stood waiting for her mom’s red Buick in the parking lot of Cowan’s roadhouse.

She’d been working. He’d been loitering.

“Lena!” he shouted. There was no answer; no look of recognition.

The girl raised her illuminated bangles, and the Chevelle’s rumbling thickened.

Gretz had once been a racer. He’d driven a 1987 Buick Regal.

At 12:11, a brown Ford pickup truck had approached in the northbound lane, and, without thinking, the girl dropped her hand to indicate they should wait, but, instead, had set free the finely-machined steel.

The air filled with the howl of controlled explosions and youthful disregard, then, with its departure, the Chevelle deposited a smoking layer of quickly-vapourising rubber in its wake.

Its headlights made no impression on the deep shadows, but its flame-hued rear bumper was somehow easily visible against the gloom.

Even in the roar, Nicholas recalled how a ‘65 Chevelle had seemed like a relic, and how quick he’d been to tell Dylan such.

For Gretz, time slowed.

At the half-mile mark he could see Lena’s face turn to horror, and her neon flailing become panicked.

CoffinThere’d been some question as to her heart’s preference, but the concern in her round eyes was clearly intended for the Chevelle. Within, Dylan had made an attempt to pull onto the soft shoulder, but his delayed reaction came too late.

The truck didn’t appear – the driver had spent the rest of his life learning to eat and write with his left hand, but had otherwise survived – and yet the noise was just as real as the original impact. The momentum of the pick-up’s heavy work-engine was enough to deflect the still-turning Chevelle, so that the muscle car’s back-end jumped from the concrete, and the vehicle twisted into the treeline.

Upon liftoff, however, the rear bumper carried with it Lena’s jaw and skull, sending her airborne in a radiant arc.

She landed in exactly the spot he’d watched her rise from.

From within the tangle of bush and timber that had grown along the road’s edge, a soft glimmer played on the leaves, and Gretz realized he was witnessing the afterglow of the wreck’s blaze.

He began to walk in its direction.

At the halfway point, he passed the race’s two other observers.

“I want to respect your privacy, and all that bull####,” said Bunny, “but Oregon’s nights are ####ing cold. Could you shuffle a little faster?”

Coffin, standing beside her, swung high his arcane silver chain, and kept his focus on the flickering ghost lights that were once a burning car.

Nicholas’ memory had no trouble filling in the blanks. His legs faltered as he moved beyond where he’d wrestled the Regal to a stop, but pressed on.

He worked hard to ignore the girl’s broken form as he pushed through the ferns and prodding branches.

Finally, standing beside the shattered Chevelle, he retrieved a mashed wad of ten dollar bills from the depths of his jeans’ pocket.

Then, as he’d been instructed, he tossed the money into the wreck’s phantom flames.

The race had kept him awake at night; Had pulled him from his bed; maybe had ruined his two attempts at marriage. He thought of the bleached blond girl with the supple wrist.

He began to weep.

“You win,” Nicholas told the dark, but the destruction had already begun to fade.

Seconds later, Lena followed.

(Part 1Part 2Part 3)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP267 – Mulligan Smith in Use, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-seven.

Flash PulpTonight we present Mulligan Smith in Use, Part 1 of 1

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp267.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Haywire.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Mulligan finds himself chatting with a golf club carrying killer.

 

Mulligan Smith in Use, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Despite the July heat, Mulligan Smith was still wearing his black hoodie as he sat beneath a broad-limbed elm and sipped at his coke slurpee.

Mulligan SmithThe grass was thick, and the sun was bright. It was rare for the private investigator, who spent so much of his time wandering Capital City’s concrete, to encounter such an plush expanse of green, and Mulligan was fighting the urge to take off his shoes.

If he hadn’t had an appointment, he knew he likely would have.

Finally, his thoughts were invaded by the sudden landing of what looked to be a white egg, some fifteen feet from his freedom-yearning toes.

A few moments later, a woman appeared to claim the ball.

“Sure beats a public park, though,” Smith replied to the surprised newcomer’s peaked eyebrow.

She was forty-four, with hair kept blonde by salon dyes, and a stomach kept flat by her time walking the course. Beneath her white visor – which matched her ivory shorts – she wore thin-rimmed sunglasses.

“It’s the privacy that makes it nice,” the detective continued, “but what’s the point of spending the effort in maintaining this pristine beauty if so few get a chance to use it?”

The dark lenses made it tough to judge her reactions, but Mulligan suspected she had an experienced poker face even under the best of conditions.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Waiting for you, Carol,” replied Smith.

“Waiting for me in the rough at the fourth hole’s dog leg?” As she spoke, she retrieved a club from her bag. Her motions were calm, but, then, she had a weapon in her grip.

“Yes,” said Mulligan. “On Sunday it takes you about twenty minutes to get from the office to here, and another ten to hit the tee. You’re a little slow today, but I guess it’s because you don’t have to race your boss, Hartley, now that you’ve killed him – it was an accident though, right?

“Anyhow, you also have a terrible tendency to overpower your first stroke on this hole, so I figured this would be a nice place to meet for a quiet chat.

”Name’s Mulligan Smith, by the way.”

“How do you know all this?” asked the golfer.

She held off on her swing, but it was the only sign that he’d phased her.

Smith resolved to try harder.

“I’m a P.I.,” replied Mulligan, “I spent most of last June following you from green to green.”

“Why?”

“Your husband thought you were having an affair.”

The woman snorted, then, with a near-perfect roll of her shoulders, sent the ball high in the air.

It landed squarely on the fairway.

“Nicely done,” said Smith. “Of course, I discovered you were doing exactly what you’d said you were: Giving Hartley a mild bit of competition on the links while schmoozing, in hopes of winning a promotion back at the shop. The practice wasn’t getting you anywhere, though, was it? Well, that is, not till his funeral that September.”

Carol’s motions were deliberate as she returned the five iron back to its wheeled bag. “Guess not, otherwise I’d be on the green. It’s been an interesting chat, but it’s time for me to go.”

From beyond her retreating shoulder she added, “if you follow me, I’ll call security. Expect a restraining order shortly.”

“I’ve got video,” replied Mulligan.

She stopped and turned.

“Video?”

“Yeah, a few mean slices, and a few poorly timed hits of the long ball – all aimed generally at your boss’ noggin’.”

From over the rim of her glasses, Carol squinted.

“Oh, I get it now: Blackmail. Well, tough luck, pal, it was an accident. It wasn’t me that killed Hartley, it was his popping cyst, which I didn’t know about it.”

“That’s not what Craig says. He seems to recall you mentioning it repeatedly over the years. He remembers it especially because you don’t often have the chance for conversation.

“Tough to prove a case like that, maybe, but, between the recordings and your hubby’s word, I think we can probably prod a sympathetic member of the local constabulary into action.

”I hear Mrs. Hartley is getting married again – it might give her some comfort.”

“Craig? – but why?”

“To hear him tell it, he’s been pretty patient with your years of ass-kissing, but – even after cutting your green time down to just Sundays – once he learned of the extended work hours your promotion was going to mean, he realized your promise of having more time for him would never happen.

“I’ve been to your place, you know. It reminds me of this golf course, in some ways. Shame to build such a beautiful thing without getting any use out of it.

“My client is ready to move on. He wants a divorce. He also wants the house and the Prius. Most of all, though, he doesn’t want any arguments or lengthy legal proceedings. He knows how competitive you can get.”

Behind the tint of her glasses, Carol considered the proposition.

At the hole’s tee, a trio of frat boys had gathered. Their shaded eyes and exchanged shrugs had not yet worked them up to shouting something at the interfering loiterers, but Smith could tell, even at that distance, that it wouldn’t be long.

On Mulligan’s left, the sound of sprinklers drifted up from the depths of a small ravine.

“You know,” said Carol, “I hate golf. The problem is that I got a reputation as a solid player, and, though it didn’t help me with Hartley, it sure opened a few clients’ doors.

“Fine. Tell Craig – tell him I’m sorry, and that he can have all of it.”

Clearing his throat, Smith replied, “he’ll courier the paperwork to your office on Monday.”

She nodded, then, leaving her ball where it lay, she walked from the course and towards the parking lot.

Once she was gone, the detective stood and wiped the clinging clippings of greenery from his jeans.

In reality, although he had truly witnessed the near misses, Mulligan had no video. After a week and a half of observation he’d been entirely confident of her marital integrity, and so, as he wasn’t particularly a fan of amateur sports, he’d dumped the video to free up space for future paying endeavours.

Even if he’d kept it, however, he knew it was an aggrieved husband’s word against his wife’s, and unlikely to gain much traction in court.

It seemed like poor justice, but he hoped that Hartley’s widow might find some happiness, now that the way had been cleared for her impending marriage to Craig. Perhaps it was nothing more than their mutual sense of abandonment that had held them together since their meeting at a company function, but at least she’d get to spend some of Carol’s money.

With a shrug, Mulligan headed for his Tercel.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FPGE7 – The Pilling, by Rich the Time Traveler

Welcome to Flash Pulp Guest-isode 7.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Pilling, by Rich the Time Traveler

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpGE7.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episode is brought to you by The Mob.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we present a tale regarding a finicky feline, as provided by our own Rich the Time Traveller.

 

The Pilling, by Rich the Time Traveler

Written by Rich the Time Traveller
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The young blonde girl bounded quickly through the bedroom doors. She carried a writhing mass of white, black, and caramel-mocha colored spots that twisted and resolved itself into a calico cat.

“I got her,” she said cheerfully still dressed in half pajamas and half school clothes.

The man and the woman turned to her from the hustled chaos of their morning preparations. The man was in a dull grey t-shirt bearing the faded design of some inside joke or geeky reference long rendered unreadable with sweat shorts of the same hue. The woman contrasted in a full-length pajama shirt of yellow that was painfully bright for the hour. The opposition of their palettes was united by their similarly pillow rustled hairstyles.

“Nice work sweetheart. Put her in the bathroom, would you?” the woman requested. Raising her voice she added, “And finish getting ready for school. Have you and your brother brushed your teeth yet?” An audible groan of frustration came from the hallway at that signaling the unseen boy had, indeed, not completed that task yet.

The girl propelled the complaining cat through the second doorway to her right and pulled the door shut. “I have,” she exclaimed and bounced out the way she’d originally come, half-humming and half-singing an unidentifiable song to herself.

“Let’s get this over with before she goes crazy in there,” said the man nodding his head towards the now-shut door. “It’s not fair making her wait for it.”

Agreement washed across the woman’s face and she moved with him towards the room. Reflexively he gave her shoulders a squeeze as he came up behind her and, after rubbing them for a few seconds, scratched her back.

“That feels good. A little lower… harder,” she breathed as his nails worked across her nightshirt and then he reached past her to open the bathroom door.

They stepped into the neat and mundane room shutting the opening behind them. It was of typical and unremarkable suburban construction. A shower, a far too small bathtub, a far too large mirror, the ubiquitous bar of lights, double sinks molded in synthetic cultured marble, and safely tasteful light tan tiles. Secretly the woman wished the original owners had been a little bolder in their choices of decor, but they had made their own mark in the time they’d lived there. The walls were a deep turquoise-blue color and a piece of stained glass hung in the oversized window above the tub depicting a river flowing through a mountain range; though with the faint rays of sun passing from the outside, the rich azure looked more like an abyssal crevasse instead. The man had been less covert with his sentiments and had expressed them on many occasions. He would have liked nothing more than to rip the whole space apart and rebuild it with a much more efficient layout, but that would have to wait until a future opportunity arose.

The cat hunched between the two basins with her tail of black and brown curled around her feet as a tortie-colored trim. She let out a growl that quickly fell apart to a plaintive meow.

“She’s in a mood today, isn’t she?” the woman pondered disinterestedly.

The man nodded and mumbled a yes as he retrieved an indigo and cream striped towel that lay folded by the tub. Wordlessly, he handed it to the woman who unfurled it and moved towards the cat. The feline target only dipped her face and pleaded with big eyes as the woman wrapped the cloth around her, leaving just the calico’s head protruding.

Meanwhile, the man had slid to the other side of the counter and had picked up an amber colored bottle. Popping the top, he dumped the contents onto his hand. A single pink half-circle nestled in the cracks of his palm. The cat redoubled her effort and managed another weak growl.

“Come on, girl,” said the man in a gentle but slightly irritated voice. “Last dose. Seven down, one to go.”

He turned and plucked a white plastic tool from a cup in what was clearly marked as his own area by the other items surrounding it. Taking it in one hand, he pushed back a plunger with his thumb and then pressed the half-pill inside a pair of soft rubber flaps on the opposite end.

Reaching out with his free hand, he scritched the head of the cat and then rubbed it briefly. “Relax, this won’t take long and then you can be on your way.”

The cat struggled within the linen embrace of the woman. “She’s really wound up. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

“Yeah,” asserted the man has he placed his thumb and first finger on either side of the calico’s mouth and began to lever her jaw open.

The cat gave a low mewl and lurched unexpectedly. The woman gave sharp cry and the irritated animal broke free and flew from where she’d been held.

“You OK?” asked the man, dropping the piller.

“The little bitch got me with her back claws.” The woman turned her wrist and revealed a scarlet rivulet running from the puncture in her forearm.

“I think the correct term is Queen,” replied the man stepping closer to inspect the wound. The woman’s eyes clearly underscored that she didn’t find his joke funny this time, or likely the first hundred times he had used it. A single pregnant orb of blood fell from her arm onto the vanity and shattered making many spindly legs about the point of impact. The man grabbed the towel and wiped it away and then pressed it to the woman’s injury without further comment.

“I swear if she caused me to get any on my shirt, I’m going to use her to make hat,” remarked the woman with the practice of an old and hollow threat while she inspected her pajamas for any freckles that may have splattered on them.

The man lifted the cloth and, satisfied that the bleeding had stopped, handed it back to the woman before walking to where the bundle of claws and fur had escaped. Stepping in the tub, he plucked her from the corner above it where she was huddled and slightly shaking. The calico complained meekly as he lifted her by the scruff.

“You know deep inside this is good for you and you don’t want that UTI coming back so just cooperate, OK?” scolded the man pointlessly.

The pair worked speedily and the cat once more had her paws ensconced safely, though more tightly than originally. The man plucked the rod from the surface and, once he’d verified the medicine was still in place, quickly pulled the calico’s jaw open with his free hand. Darting the tool towards the open mouth, he snapped the plunger home with his thumb sending the pill tumbling into her throat. He now held her mouth gently shut and, after waiting a few seconds to be sure she had swallowed it, gave the mottled head a playful tussle.

Their body language signaling relief, the man and woman stepped away and let the towel fall from the cat. The man turned the faucet on his sink to a slow trickle.

“There, it’s over. You wanna drink of water to wash it down, girl?” he asked.

Kar'WickThe cat remained motionless and growled. Suddenly the white, black, and caramel-mocha hair was all standing on end and she gave a loud hiss that faded back to a moan as she leapt from the counter. Diving to the floor, the calico sprinted across it to cower behind a pair of overflowing hampers where she began caterwauling; quite in earnest this time.

“What crawled up her a…,” the woman started only to have her words cut short by a shattering sound. A spear of shiny black chitin pierced through the large window and cleaved the stained glass in two along the course of the river.

“What the fuck!?” said the man much less rhetorically than usual, but no answer would come. As a rumbling sound grew and the house shook, the walls and ceiling were ripped away to leave them all face-to-many-eyed-face with Kar’Wick, the Spider God.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP266 – All Things Being Equal, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred and sixty-six.

Flash PulpTonight we present All Things Being Equal, Part 1 of 1

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp266.mp3]Download MP3
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by All Things Geek.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Capital City finds itself in need of a hero.

 

All Things Being Equal, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The news had drawn Madeline to the river’s edge.

In those days, breaking news was a rare event in Capital City, and so, when she’d realized the bridge-jumper pinned beneath the camera’s gaze was only blocks away, she’d hurried to leap on her ten-speed, Galahad.

As she’d unplugged her cellphone from the charging cord on the kitchen counter, her mom had asked, “Maddy, where you going?” and she’d replied, “to the bridge.”

Madeline felt some guilt at intentionally not mentioning the gathering crowd and unfolding drama, but the girl had known her mother would be quick to deny her the adventure.

Now, she was finding it difficult to continue to hold her tongue.

“Careful, you don’t want to go in with her. Half of ‘em survive the fall, but they at least get a chance to prepare themselves,” stated the nearest officer, at whose back she was staring. “Even then, they always pick up a few broken bones on impact.”

The figure at the center of the affair endlessly paced a metal beam at the structure’s brink. Though the span was blocked at either end, the suicidal pedestrian sometimes neared to a point just feet from Madeline – so close, the girl thought, that she could almost reach out and pull her to safety.

It was close enough, certainly, to hear the ragged woman’s sobbed pleas.

“I’ve tried everything,” she said. “Everything! Why won’t anyone help me?”

Madeline had, in fact, come to help, but, much to her frustration, the police weren’t letting her through. It annoyed the girl that her experience as a hero meant so little. A year previous, when she’d been ten, she’d managed to save a man’s life.

She’d found him in a double rutted back-lane running off of Gibraltar Road, crumpled between a huge green compost bin and a white-paneled shed.

He’d started at her approach, and she could see his oversized black suit was wet with blood.

“Are you OK?” she’d asked.

She’d gotten used to watching men fall down when dad was still living with them, but the blood was something new.

At the sight of it, Madeline had bitten her lip, and repeated her question.

“Are you OK?”

“No, not really,” was the man’s reply, but his voice had sounded younger than she’d expected. Turning his head had obviously been a difficult chore, but his eyes had swept left, then right, taking in the full length of the dirt lane’s scrubby bushes and unpainted fences. Maddy had found herself doing the same.

There was no one else at hand.

The man had righted himself then, using the shed for leverage and support.

His fingers painted a red fan on the plastic siding.

“You don’t happen to have a cell, do you?” he’d asked.

This was the moment she’d dreamed of as she’d run Galahad through puddles and over curbs, and it almost seemed too easy that the solution would simply pop from her pocket.

Nonetheless, it was no easy thing for the man.

The call was short, but the wait was long.

She kept him talking. He refused to answer any questions about why he was there, but he was happy enough to discuss the manga InuYasha, an unexpected common interest.

Still, the pain had been intense, and he’d wept as his friends pulled their black van to a stop, but he’d said it: He’d said that she’d saved his life.

He had also extracted a latex mask – a caricature of a man’s face, with huge sideburns and a wicked grin – from the interior of his coat. It was far too big for her, but she sometimes liked to put it on and stare at herself in her room’s star-stickered mirror.

Then he’d given her a phone number.

“If you ever need help – serious help – you text there.

“I might not answer, but someone will.”

She’d never used the digits. She hadn’t had a reason to until she wrote, “there’s a lady on the Lethe bridge, and no one’s DOING anything!”

For fifteen minutes she split her focus between the small message screen, and the bawling woman.

In despair, she sent a follow-up: “You said you would help me!”

Another half-hour passed.

The conflicted had taken to sitting, and creeping her ragged jeans towards the edge of the steel lip that was her too-short seat.

With tears of frustration in the corners of her eyes, Madeline began shouting at the reluctant officer.

“You’ve got to do something, damn it!”

She knew he’d been trying – that he’d been complaining about the lack of a boat on the scene moments before – but her anger at the situation demanded a target.

“There are protocols. We’re doing everything we can,” he replied. “You just stay calm, li’l lady – or are you a lady? That was some mighty strong language for someone so young.”

“Wait till you hear the language I’ll use if you don’t do something.”

“Listen, we’re trying to lock her up as quickly as we can, but -”

A hush fell over the spectators, causing the bing from Maddy’s pocket to echo like a cough in a library.

The source number was blocked, and the message said simply, “We’re coming.”

Suddenly, Maddy was the last thing on the cop’s mind.

After surveying the river, he turned to his partner.

“Fuck me,” he said,”it’s The Achievers.”

Once they’d been little more than Internet myth, a group of anonymous vindicators responding to cries for help from the lost and forgotten.

Recently, however, they’d grown more brazen.

A dozen swan boats, each powered by a latex-faced metalhead wearing an oversized black suit, appeared from beyond the waterway’s curve. A tarp was affixed, with taught nylon rigging, to the birds’ sleek white necks, so that a broad expanse of blue stretched between them. At the center of the surface lay, apparently jokingly, a pair of throw pillows.

As the masked invaders peddled ever to the left, the assembled raft was locked in perpetual rotation, and moved forward only because the river carried it along.

“God damn Busby Berkeley film,” said the officer.

“Oi! Come on down, the water’s fine!” shouted the temporarily-nearest Achiever.

Above, the despondent form stiffened.

“It’s OK – we’ve done the math!” coaxed the mask, his tone now more serious.

Seconds lingered. There were no more pleas as the jumper stared from her perch. To Maddy, it felt as if the impending-suicide was simply waiting for the illusion of help to dissipate.

The girl only had Galahad and her phone, but, again, it would be enough.

Everyone’s focus was on the boats below, or so they later claimed, as none stepped forward when asked by the press to identify who had thrown the aging hunk of plastic.

It was a good toss, which landed squarely in the wailer’s cloud of light-brown hair. With a notable thud, the cell ricocheted from her frozen skull, clattered against the steel rail, then dropped onto the makeshift safety net.

The woman was close behind.

The suits moved quickly, to secure her in one of the boats, before slicing the ropes that connected them.

With a wave, The Achievers pull-started the small black engines affixed to their waterfowls, then sped out of sight.

Finally, grinning, Madeline knocked back Galahad’s kickstand and turned towards home.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FP200 – The Death of Ruby, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode two hundred.

Flash PulpTonight we present The Death of Ruby, Part 1 of 1

Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

Tonight’s episode is brought to you by The Mob.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Ruby meets her end.

 

The Death of Ruby, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Narration by Peter Church
with Additional voices by Opopanax, and Dancing Ella
Art by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

RubyThe party was a quiet affair, just her son, his new fiancee, her parents, and a few friends from town. They’d all parked along the double-rutted lane before entering the yard of her home – one of the last to be able to claim to be truly rural in New York state – and were now seated in the plastic white lawn-chairs she’d scattered around the fire pit.

Her knee had ached as she mounted the trio of steps that led to her patio, and pushed aside the sliding screen door she used to enter the kitchen. She’d been seeking the double stack of red plastic cups that she’d picked up for the occasion, in preparation for dispensing the rummy punch Maggie had constructed.

Turning back to the party, with cups in hand, she had paused at the exit, watching Maggie The Server stiffly trundling around the group with the cheese and cracker plate.

It was while tearing open the transparent wrapper that Ruby spotted the intruder moving into the half-circle of chatting well-wishers.

“No,” she said, “no, damn you, no.”

She’d heard the story only two nights before – a former lover of her son’s chosen, unrelenting in his refusal to accept her spurning. The girl had told the tale with tears in her eyes.

The newcomer ratcheted the shotgun in his hands, and all talk ceased.

Dropping the cups, the aging woman sprinted to her living room.

Outside the home, the gate-crasher made his intentions clear. Without breaking for explanation, he leveled his weapon at Mr. McReardon and fired. The proud father’s lawn chair toppled backwards, and the dying man’s brown trouser legs twitched briefly before halting all movement.

“Angie,” said the gunman, turning on the freshly engaged woman. “This is all your -”

Barefoot, Ruby made no effort to check her momentum as she plunged through the screen door.

For a moment she almost seemed to shift in time: There was no more bad knee, there was no sleeping in on high thread-count sheets, there was no escape – there was only Bethany, snatched down from her place on the mantle, and a threat – always a threat – with no answer but the blade.

Somewhere, she thought she might have heard the old General howl.

It was only as the mad woman cleared the end of the deck in a single bound, and came pounding the turf in his direction, that the intruder managed to convince himself of the reality of the situation.

He pulled the trigger, finally, sending burning buckshot into her ribcage, but she briefly shrugged off the effect.

Then she did what she’d always done, and cleaved his skull.

Ruby’s last living sight was of the wind ruffling the elms she’d planted thirty-five years earlier.

* * *

She woke with Bethany in her hands.

There was a thin faced woman leaning over her, whose eyes moved continuously between her own and the door of the small thatched hut in which they were seated.

To Ruby, it seemed not as if she’d woken from a dream, but more as if she’d been distracted during a conversation, and could no longer remember what the topic had been before a sudden interruption.

“What?” she asked.

Her custodian smiled.

“Valhalla – where those who’ve died gloriously are taken.”

“I – huh.”

Ruby was surprised to see she was wearing jeans and a t-shirt she’d lost in the early days of the zombie plague, and she wondered briefly what her reflection would reveal should she encounter a mirror.

There were more pressing questions, however.

“Who are you?”

“Most call me Katharina Pfiati, although I was once known simply as The Butcher,” replied her thin-faced companion.”

“The Butcher?”

“Yes, there was a night upon which I laid to rest twenty men.”

“Twenty? How?”

“Very quietly.”

The conversation’s lull allowed Ruby to note the gunfire in the distance.

“I’ve seen Jacob’s Ladder,” she said. “Is this just some crazy last-hurrah rollercoaster ride my brain is giving me while I bleed out on the lawn? Am I about to die hallucinating? Is this world just built on adrenaline and shock? ”

Before her companion could answer, the cloth blocking her view to the exterior shifted aside, and a man in a slightly vintage US Marine uniform stepped into the room.

“Nah, the world’s real enough,” he replied. “It’s a bit like a quilt, stitched out of all the notable battlefields. It loops, though – or maybe it’s just round. I once convinced a guy to give me a ride in his sabre jet, and we spent the day doing laps. It took about eight hours to fly across, if my watch is to be trusted. On the other hand, the landscape tends to move every now and then, so don’t get too comfortable with any mental maps you might build.

“As to the rest, well, you’re already dead, so you ain’t likely to get much deader. You’re also late, which is sort of weird, but sometimes the valkyries like to take the long way home.

”Name’s Jenkins, by the way – Cutter or Leroy, whichever you prefer.”

Despite her ghostly status, Ruby found his handshake reassuringly solid.

“Time to go meet the boss,” said Cutter.

“Boss?” she asked. She’d never been a fan of being told what to do.

Jenkins caught the tone in her voice. “Oh, he’s nice enough. Some of the old timers have a problem with him – apparently he’s only been in management of the place for the last couple hundred years – but Blackhall’s a solid guy.”

The words made little sense to Ruby, but, as the trio strolled through the smoking remains of a formerly grassy field, it seemed that there would be plenty of time for explanations.

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to comments@flashpulp.com – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.