CNN Asks: Hot Mess of News

It’s been a while, but the CNN frontpage has once again found itself at the bottom of the rhetorical barrel – as usual, at such times, I step in to help.

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Anthony's dad: Victim or Monster?Monster – look at this press statement:

“Every Thursday,” contends Anthony Smith, eight, “Dad makes me finish all of my green beans. He knows I hate them and yet, every pork chop night, there they are – is not the very definition of insanity to repeat the same action while assuming the outcome will change?”

In response, Mr Smith’s only comment was, “They’re good for you!”

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Hot yoga or hot mess?Definitely “hot yoga”, but I’d like to take a moment to point out that, when I was a young boy, hot mess meant something entirely different – and it was usually flu-related.

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Will Sony gamers play again?Yes; First they’ll drunk dial their old games in the middle of the night, crying about how they should never have stopped playing them, then they’ll eventually swear off games altogether – but, after a couple of months, they’ll be hanging out at a friend’s place, and encounter a new Grand Theft Auto, at which point their hearts will re-open, and they’ll discover, even with the hurt, that they can play again.

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Silver lining for flooded Louisiana?Yes; unfortunately, though, it’s not a metaphorical silver lining: it’s a nitrate-heavy sludge pooling at the edges of the flood waters.