Nuts Are Wood

Crunch ‘n Munch [Crunch grown on plantations under the blue skies of the south pacific, Munch being harvested above the 67’N latitude, found amongst the thaw of the spring tundra] is really the only food that can turn nuts into the most rewarding part of the eating experience.  Despite my falling away from cracker jacks, somehow Crunch ‘n Munch maintains a firm place in my stomach [with all the nuts clumped at the bottom].

Still, otherwise nuts are just wood – even their stealthy legume cousins, which are really just clever imitations of wood, and will otherwise never rise above the middle of the pack in any given combination of ingredients. Even almond M&Ms, the Cadillac of M&Ms, are still largely delivery mechanisms for chocolate and candy.