No Haim Done

The Coreys

I don’t mean to be a jerk, but: did Corey Haim die, or did he just succumb to the inevitable? We’ve turned out a pretty solid generation of young stars who eventually grow into their gaunt faces and crack teeth. Next it’ll be Aaron Carter, Tara Reid, or maybe one of the Culkins.

If “Child Celebrity” was an invasive microbe we’d be seeing kids in front of grocery stores with pledge sheets and charity chocolate bars attempting to raise money to cure or curb it – if it were a geographic location we’d be seeing Sunday afternoon commercials featuring on-location shots, asking us to sponsor a former B-level Mickey Mouse Club member.