Call and Response with CNN

Sometimes CNN becomes confused and starts asking questions it should – as a massive journalistic organization – be able to answer. On those occasions, I step in with some assistance.

Should you look for work in China?Uh oh, why? Have you been talking to my boss? What have you heard?

Can Boehner's GOP deliver?Yes, and I believe their guarantee is that the pizza will arrive within forty minutes, or it’s tax free – I just hope they get those mobile Interac machines, my credit card is maxed.

Too much hustle in the NBA?I’m no sports fan, but I know that, on those few occasions when I do end up catching a game, all I keep thinking is: “Man, I wish this could be slower somehow. Can we get everyone wearing inappropriately heavy clothing, and maybe some ankle weights?”

While I’m at it, I should add that I’m also a little concerned about all that putting of the ball through the hoop.

Is it safe to fly with a two-week-old?This is obviously a trick question: has the two-week-old completed his or her 40 hours of instructed flight time to obtain their solo license?