Sunday Summary: Raptor Cavalry

Skinner Co. Raptor Cavalry: Please report to the cafeteria. The cooks can’t keep two-thousand pounds of raw pork under heat lamps forever.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 23, 2011
CNN.com: “‘Angry Birds’ aims for 1 billion fans” – How could fans possibly be hiding that many green pigs in their homes?
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 22, 2011
Tetris has trained me well for cramming leftover Chinese food into the fridge.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 22, 2011
Skinner Co. Staff: In light of our recent phone hacking scandal, we ask that employees secure all cleavers and axes before initiating calls.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 21, 2011
CNN.com headline: “Paris Hilton walks out of ABC interview” – which is actually pretty fantastic, considering how drunk she was at the time.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 20, 2011
Breaking News: Willow Smith arrested on animal abuse charges after allegations that she’s been whipping her hare back and forth.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 20, 2011
How have I gotten this far in life without naming one of my dogs Zuul?
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 20, 2011
CNN.com: “NASA head: ‘This isn’t the end'” – that sort of mastery of basic anatomy made NASA the leading scientific organization it is.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 19, 2011
CNN.com: “Fallout from UK phone-hacking scandal spreads” – who thought nuclear phones were a good idea anyhow?
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 18, 2011
CNN.com: “VEVO reinvents the music video” – now they have titanium carapaces, 1,000 breeding tendrils, & a lust for honey.
— JRD Skinner (@JRDSkinner) July 18, 2011
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