Mr Eight Reviews Rodan
[audio:http://audioboo.fm/boos/420374-mr-eight-reviews-rodan.mp3]
Category: children
Baby, No!
Have you ever thought to yourself: “The thing I need most in life is a life-like representation of a new born, as if it were possessed by the dark powers of the seven maws of the hell lord Wik’stin’phlag?
Me either, but now you can purchase them from a Geocities-looking site called kryptkiddies.
Christmas Fear
Last night I was watching Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, as I’m wont to do around this time of year, and I noticed something.
Here’s a modern representation of one of the show’s classic characters.
Sure, everyone loves Yukon Cornelius, but something is missing.
Figure it out?
Here’s the truth about Cornelius: the man packs heat.
We don’t allow the characters in children’s shows to carry guns anymore, as demonstrated by the infamous erasing of weaponry in ET, and, in a way, it’s a bit of a shame, as I think some of the magic we’ve lost in children’s films is due to the disconnect with reality.
When we attempt to create an excessively padded play-space, we may accidentally teach kids that there are no such things as knives – then, when they do encounter them, they have no respect for the gravitas of the situation, and they end up throwing them at each other.
Still, the reality is, if you came across a fellow carrying a knife, a hatchet, and a handgun, in the middle of a blizzard, you’d probably just let him go on rambling about the abominable snowman as you departed at top speed.
The Goods
http://twitter.com/#!/JRDSkinner/status/10807876738097153
This is basically going to be a post collecting my week together – nothing extravagant, more just a brief tour through the recent highlights of my twitter feed.
Mr Seven is now Mr Eight. In celebration we went to visit Mr. Chuck E. Cheese.
Based on an older design that used real boxers and real ducks.
There was also a “Deal Or No Deal” machine that was frequented exclusively by people over 40.
I still don’t get why a restaurant would present a super-sized rodent as their mascot. “Come to Taco Heaven and meet our mascot, Sammy Salmonella.”
I did get to play some Space Invaders on a stand-up arcade unit, however, so I’ll give the disease-carrier a pass.
Revisionists For A Better Yesterday #PAC
— Jurd🦖 (@JRDSkinner) December 3, 2010
The State Of The Playground
Kids these days may not have learned how to avoid the airborne spikes we used to call lawn darts, but they’ll definitely know how to kill and gut a hippopotamus. 
Starting Young
Man about town, bmj2k, pointed me at a link to this toy:
Furniture features:
* Flat desk area
* Left and Right built-in mouse pads
* Bench seat that fits two children and offers storage inside for supplies
* Two locking cabinet doors
* Computer wiring stores safely inside ventilated cabinet.
* Locking castors keep unit from rolling during use.
As the accompanying Gizmodo article rightly points out, this feels way too much like “Baby’s First Cubicle”.
Oddly, this implication of child labour actually inspired me to round up my own kids and put them to work.
Behold: a dramatic reading as inspired by the original text of “χώρος γραφείου“:
