Category: goo brain

You Are What You Eat

Natural Flavor & ColorI realize this is just one of those things I’m supposed to have gotten used to in our modern age, but I still find the idea of something being labeled “Natural Flavour” off-putting.

This is actually the remnant of a bottle of ginger ale, why couldn’t they have just written ginger? Is it really natural, or is “Natural Flavor” just the pseudonym they gave to some complex compound they cooked up in the lab?

Technically, everything has a flavour, so, for all I know, my soda was made tasty with baby squeezin’s. (I assume they were squeezed by hand, to maintain the naturalness.)

Also, what is colour made of?

Hearts & Minds

While doing some research for Flash Pulp’s current Blackhall tale, I came across some interesting, if disturbing, history that I wanted to pass on.

Some quick background beforehand, however: Fort Henry, a military fort in Kingston, Ontario, was actually constructed in 1832, right around the time of our story, in an effort to protect the waterway supply route in case of American invasion. (It would also go on to be used as an internment camp for political prisoners during World War I.)

That said, I encountered some sinister information on Fort Henry’s School Room page (emphasis mine).

In 1867, the British Army provided free education for the children of soldiers and for those soldiers wishing an education. It was not until 1870 that a public school system was offered outside of the army.

[…]

At the age of 14, the children had the choice of remaining with the army, or looking for work in town. Many chose the army, because if they stayed in town, they would be left behind when the regiment moved on. Boys could join the army as soldiers; girls, at the age of 14, had two years in which to find a husband before they were forced to leave the fort. Soldiers were not permitted to marry before they had achieved 14 years of good service in the Army, thus girls usually married men more than twice their age.

Yikes – although I do find it interesting that, like many social institutions, public schooling began as a for-government-employees-only initiative that later expanded to include the full public. (I’m looking at you, American healthcare.)

Still, nowadays a fourteen-year-old girl marrying a thirty-something would likely lead to an arrest, back then it was simply military protocol.

I’m again reminded of a Monty Python quote from The Meaning Of Life:

Here is better than home, eh, sir? I mean, at home if you kill someone they arrest you, here they’ll give you a gun and show you what to do, sir. I mean, I killed fifteen of those buggers. Now, at home they’d hang me, here they’ll give me a $%#@ing medal, sir.”

Nancy Hart holds British troops at gun point during The American Revolutionary War

Ye Note

The use of the term “Ye” to represent an Early Modern English form of the word “the” (traditionally pronounced /ðiː/), such as in “Ye Olde Shoppe”, is technically incorrect. This mistaken attribution is due to the medieval usage of the letter thorn (þ) the predecessor to the modern digraph “th”. The word “The” was thus written Þe. Medieval printing presses did not contain the letter “thorn”, so the y was substituted owing to its similarity with some medieval scripts, especially later ones. – wikipedia

It’s not Ye as in yes, it’s actually The, even though all those old time-y signs are also incorrectly printed, as they’re missing the thorn character.

None of which helps this The Olde Courist Crappe sign (found here), however.
The Old Tourist Trap

Undead To Me

From the original Night Of The Living DeadI ran across this fascinating article on Haitian zombies the other day:

About a month after I arrived in Jérémie, a rumor swept through town that a deadly zombie was on the loose. This zombie, it was said, could kill by touch alone. The story had enough authority that schools closed. The head of the local secret society responsible for the management of the zombie population was asked to investigate. Later that week, Monsieur Roswald Val, having conducted a presumably thorough inquiry, made an announcement on Radio Lambi: There was nothing to fear; all his zombies were accounted for.

Interestingly, this relates back to the Koro discussion from yesterday, in that zombification is largely a cultural phenomenon facilitated by a natural one – in the case of Koro it’s a mental issue causing anxiety about the size and use of your body parts, in zombification it’s a bit of fish toxin leaving you paralyzed but cognizant.

But TTX alone does not make a zombie. TTX is the same poison found in the deadly Japanese fugu fish, whose sushi is a great delicacy. Every year, several gourmand fools, having eaten improperly prepared sushi, fall victim to TTX poisoning, and upon their resuscitation, if they survive, are normal.

Not so the Haitian zombie.

The Haitian zombie, Davis argues, is the product of a series of terrifying experiences, all specific to the cultural context of rural Haiti. First comes the overwhelming trauma of having been buried alive. Clairvius Narcisse reported total lucidity through the entire ordeal. Upon removal from the coffin, the would-be zombie is fed a hallucinogenic drug from the plant Datura stramonium, locally known by the suggestive name concombre zombi. At the same time, the victim is given a ferocious beating by his captors. The final touch is the total rejection of the zombie by his own community. The cumulative effect is the destruction of the zombie’s will — what the Haitians call the “ti bon ange,” or the good little angel, the unseen thing that gives personality and resolve to each individual soul. The victim is now a zombie, and he knows he is now a zombie: He has fallen into a well-known trap from which no man or woman escapes.

Clairvius Narcisse, the most famous of zombiesThe whole article is fantastic – I’ve barely scratched the surface with my quotes here, and I highly recommend it.

It does leave me wondering, however, about the types of nonsensical behaviours we engage in due entirely to societal standards and pressure.

From Malta Today:

“Thirteen people were in an apartment on the second floor when, at around 3am, one of the occupants heard his child crying,” said Odile Faivre, the deputy prosecutor in Versailles.

“The man in question, of African origin, who was completely naked, got up to feed his child, at which point the other occupants took him for the devil.

“He was seriously wounded in the hand after being stabbed with a knife before he was thrown out of the apartment, via the door.”

The 30-year-old man then tried to force his way back into the room.

“That’s when the other occupants tried to escape by jumping out of the window, panicked by a fear of the devil,” said Ms Faivre.

Batty

Spectacled Flying Fox(image from MagneticTimes.com.au)

The Spectacled Flying Fox is probably the cutest species of bat that man has encountered.

From the wikipedia article (emphasis mine):

Characteristically, all species of flying foxes only feed on nectar, blossom, pollen, and fruit, which explains their limited tropical distribution. They do not possess echolocation, a feature which helps the other sub-order of bats, the Microbats, locate and catch prey such as insects in mid-air. Instead, smell and eyesight are very well-developed in flying foxes.

[…]

Local farmers may also attack the bats because they feed in their plantations, and in some cultures it is believed their meat can cure asthma.

Mind you, I understand this is sort of like identifying the cuddliest shark.
Flying Fox

Shrinkage

Drink Me
Have you ever heard of the syndrome known as Koro? I hadn’t until just recently:

The word is also used in Makassarese language, meaning “to shrink”; the full dialect for it is garring koro. In Malay, keruk is the probable linguistic link of koro which means “to shrink”. The term shuk yang, adapted from Chinese, means “the shrinkage of penis” – wikipedia

Apparently there’s a pretty common bit of human wiring that leaves us concerned that our assets are disappearing – this can lead to some pretty unpleasant self-conducted “medical treatment”.

Extremely anxious sufferers and their family members may resort to physical methods to prevent the believed retraction of the penis. A man may perform manual or mechanical penile traction, or “anchoring” by a loop of string or some clamping device. Similarly, a woman may be seen grabbing her own breast, pulling her nipple, or even having iron pins inserted into the nipple. Physical injury is inevitable, which can be considered as a complication of the syndrome. – wikipedia

Apparently its a very culturally bound problem – like spotting UFOs or attending Nickelback concerts – but, fortunately, proper treatment is pretty rational:

In historical culture-bound cases, reassurance and talks on sexual anatomy are given. Patients are treated with psychotherapy distributed according to symptoms and to etiologically significant points in the past. Prognosis appears to be better in cases with a previously functional personality, a short history and low frequency of attacks, and a relatively uncomplicated sexual life.

So, if anything, this seems like a great argument for health classes in public schools.

Retort

D2
In no way to honour my birthday, I thought I’d introduce a new feature to the site: Simple Answers To CNN’s Stupid Questions. All of these are found on today’s CNN front page.

Up front, the sport section hits us with a hat-trick:

Sport Section

  • Yes, and my vote is for Dame.
  • I know the remote is missing, but just get up and change it already.
  • This was no game, this was murder.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoPWALM2riQ]

PoliticsYes.

Social– with bats!

Thank you, good night!

Cadence

Chinatown Jack Nicholson

Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.

does not have the same ring as:

Forget it, Jake. It’s Scotlandtown.

– and definitely not the same as:

Forget it, Jake. It’s the end of town where all the foreign folks live.

Still, I could see a movie being made around:

Forget it, Jake. It’s Jonestown.

Jim Jones