Tag: Flash

SE8 – Heckuva Job, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode eight.

Flash PulpTonight we present, SE8 – Heckuva Job, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE8.mp3]Download MP3
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by treed!.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, we present Heckuva Job, a tale of generational conflict which does not quite fit the Flash Pulp universe.

 

Flash Pulp SE8 – Heckuva Job, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The majority of the ten foot by ten foot room was taken up by a round table, which was surfaced in a light brown faux-wood veneer. Randall tugged at his tie, pulled the collar of his shirt away from his sweat-slicked skin, and wished that Warren would deign to loosen his own knot, so that the younger man might be excused such a level of informality as to actually take the bloody thing off.

Randall was not a fan of ties in general.

The crisp necked Warren was standing before the wide whiteboard that occupied the wall opposite the door, a dry-erase marker in his hand.

“We need to be inclusive if we want to get this package passed,” he said.

Randall was also not a fan of the condescension his senior allowed into his voice while discussing their work – the younger man had little respect for authority gained through simply aging.

Warren continued. “You’ve let yourself get too single minded, and now there’s nothing to be done at all about the dog murdering.”

“I don’t believe it counts as homicide if its in the name of population control,” replied Randall. “I think it’s considered balanced against the miserable lives they’d lead as street mutts and whatnot.”

It seemed that Warren paid no heed to his response. Tutting, the codger tapped the capped end of the blue dry-erase against his chin, and stared down the diagram he’d sketched.

“What if we add some rabid beasts at the top of the hill?” he asked.

Being ignored infuriated Randall.

“Why don’t we add a laser, and a bunch of leeches, and a weeping corpse? I’ll tell you why, because none of those things are necessary. Look at this crap – a rock? A hill? What year is this? I say we requisition a bus, a bunch of rope, and a squad of flaming eyed demon children with tinkling laughter, and let’s get this project greenlit.”

Now Warren’s face had also taken on a red tint; his greatest point of annoyance was impudence, of which his junior partner never appeared in short supply.

“You think you can come in here and simply ram this process through with your ridiculous ideals of streamlining? There is a craft – a technique – which one so fresh as yourself ought to consider before providing such cheeky commentary.”

Warren did ease his tie then, but Randall had forgotten the heat, and instead let loose his tongue.

“Fine, but there are also RULES to be considered – perhaps, given your advanced age, your shriveling frontal cortex has misplaced them.” He fought to deliver the line coolly, but his raggedly chewed fingernails left a constellation of bloody crescents across the meaty flesh of his palms.

“In my time here, I have forgotten more about the art than you’ll ever manage to cram into that underdeveloped cranium.”

“Pompous gasbag!”

“Menial jackass!”

Neither side willing to continue the conversation, both shifted their position and located items of interest to stare through; Warren at the whiteboard, Randall at the pockmarked plateau of the table.

The junior of the pair found some satisfaction in spitefully removing his neck-ware. Eventually, however, he could no longer stand the silence.

“Do you ever – have you ever considered that someone may have designed this room as well?” he asked.

“Oh, I can assure you,” Warren replied, “this is certainly my Hell – brainstormed, no doubt, in whatever tiny office-cell they’ve stuffed Hitler himself into.”

Randall’s shoulders slumped.

“Fine,” he said, once again reaching for the black length of silk he’d set down. “So he pushes the rock up the hill and it rolls back down every time. I’ll get the manuals and see if euthanizing dogs for the SPCA tallies as a sin.”

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

199 – Sgt Smith and The Ham, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode one hundred and ninety-nine.

Flash PulpTonight we present, Sgt Smith and The Ham, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp199.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Pendragon Variety.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Sgt Smith recounts a criminal tale of sight seeing, entertainment, and consumerism, from the mid-century streets of Capital City.

 

Flash Pulp 199 – Sgt Smith and The Ham, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

My Dearest Mulligan,

It was 1957, and I was working downtown, back when I got a lot of raised eyebrows at having earned a uniform amongst Capital City’s bluest. Since the guys were less than enthusiastic in welcoming a no-tongued new chump, I had been relegated to prodding tourists.

Now, my fifteen minutes of fame had come a few years earlier, but accidentally busting a serial killer had earned me little more than a stretch of concrete to wear down. I spent a lot of hours strolling between the junk shops and the museums, and directing folks who’d strayed from the sightseeing circuit.

There were three factions that I was quite familiar with though; the homeless, who hated the shopkeeps who tried to roust them, and loved the buskers who entertained them; the store owners, who loved the buskers that drew crowds, but hated the homeless who they saw as scarecrows for the out-of-town rubes; and, finally, the buskers, who were generally too stoned to bother with either, and mostly wasted their non-entertaining time waging passive aggressive mime-versus-poetry-beatnik wars for the best corner turf.

I became friends with some, and didn’t much care for others. There was a strongman, Jacky Patterson, who, it seemed to me, hauled his weights out in his old jalopy, then blew the day exercising in a ridiculous black spandex outfit. He was actually pretty successful, though, and loud enough that everyone knew him.

He’d tell stories while lifting children over his head, and folks would often get so wrapped up in the telling that his arms would be trembling before they’d remember to snap the photo they’d asked for.

All the brats wanted to ask him about, though, were his fights. They couldn’t figure a guy that strong who wasn’t constantly punching people, so he spun tales for them.

“You spot the moon last night? That big black spot it had?” He’d ask, striking a pose.

“Yeah,” the kids reply.

“Man in the Moon was getting too close to my girl, so I socked him one,” then he’d flex, and, for a second, they’d believe him. That’s the thing, It wasn’t just the charm – he had great patter, sure, but he was there most days, rain or shine, and it showed.

You didn’t see fellas that big back then.

Despite the closed-collar nature of those years, I recall him mentioning that the women in sensible hats were often his largest donors.

Another notable was Eugene Wagner, who would sit inside his sausage stand and mutter endlessly over the perceived insults cast upon him by anyone between the age of eight and eighteen who happened to pass by. His place always seemed on the verge of falling over. Although he made good money in the summer, he lived on it for the winter, and he was constantly broke. He complained eternally that hooligans were stealing various condiments, but I never saw anyone making a break for it with fists full of onions.

I tried his wares a few times, but I was better fed in the College pubs, which liked having me swing by to discourage the rowdies.

Anyhow, it’s around noon, late in the season, and you can feel the locals getting ready to fold up for the winter, or at least move their operations to warmer climes.

I’d wasted my morning keeping an eye out for a hooch-sponge who’d missed the shelter’s breakfast call. He was apparently a regular, and expected, so I’d peeked into alleys and prodded the locals.

Approaching Eugene, I handed him the rumpled note I’d been passing to everyone else.

His grill was smoking, and I’d had to push my way through a crowd of salivating lunch patrons.

“Someone missing?” he asked, raising a greasy eyebrow. He took the sheet with the details and looked it over as I nodded.

“Oh, I know this guy,” he said, “with the beard and the ridiculous red hat. Bought a sausage a couple weeks ago and used all my mustard. I swear he spoons the dill right into his mouth when I’m not looking. Ain’t seen him today though.”

He wasn’t interested in pressing charges on the pickle snatching, so I moved on.

None of the guitarists or poets had noted anything, and, unsurprisingly, the mimes were unwilling to discuss the matter.

As it happened, he was found on top of a shoe store. Whiskey-wings had given him the courage to climb, but they’d abandoned him before he’d managed to descend. Instead, he’d opted to sack out for the night. A better fate than he could have hoped for, considering, but it did bring me to notice that I hadn’t come across the well built Patterson, which was unusual.

The next day was the start of the last big weekend, and the Friday streets were packed. First, I had a poet snatch a country-crooner’s six-string, and chase around a particularly harsh critic.

“Beat me all you want,” shouted the guy in the tweed suit, “but it won’t change how your poor word choices create an unpleasant rhythm throughout the piece!”

Everyone then had sat through too many Bob Hope flicks, and they all thought they were smart arses.

After that, I squandered my hours directing the flow of people along the pavement. I remember not envying the street sweeps, given the clumps of Wagner’s red wax-paper wrappers wadding at the curbs.

Later that same day, a prim auntie slapped a mime. She said he was making lewd approaches, but he indicated she simply wasn’t a fan of the old rope gag. Did she want to have him arrested? No, but she insisted he drop the French act till she was out of sight. Given that I had her white handed, I asked if he wanted to press charges, but he shook his head no.

When I finally punched out, I did so thoroughly. I can’t say for sure what we got up to, Saturday and Sunday, but, given the date, it’s likely your Ma and I loaded the buggy to head to your Gramps’ cottage, so we could help get it buttoned for winter.

Monday was a different world. Instead of dominating the streets, the tourists looked like harried clusters of pigeons poking sidewalk scraps. The bars held only the regulars on their well-claimed bar-stools, the out-of-towners having drained away like the tide retreating from the pillars of a pier. I’d have business with a lot of them when the snow came, but, at that point, they were still friendly and willing to guffaw with Johnny Lawman over the mooks who’d finally migrated.

Now, while I was gone, we’d gotten word from Beefcake Patterson’s girlfriend, who reported him unaccounted for.

Thing is, I wasn’t able to shake Wagner’s question.

“Someone missing?”

He’d asked it before I’d handed him my sheet, and the assumption bothered me.

It was one of those moments: There was no one around when I approached the smell of the cooking meat, and I opened my notepad, wrote a single line, then set it on the counter and tapped it twice.

“Our strongman is missing.”

For a second time, he anticipated my thinking. He was out the little screen-door on the side of the booth before I could make it around the corner, but he’d been pretty generous in sampling his own product, and I had Wagner huffing and in cuffs by the end of the block.

I wasn’t there for it, but, back at his place, they found a monster meat grinder, and on a workbench in the basement, Patterson’s hand.

That’s it.

Oddly, the meat in the grinder was never tested, and the whole place was bagged, filed, and forgotten about. They hit Wagner with a murder charge, and he pulled a bum straw on his court appointed lawyer. Three years later he was found dead in a prison shower.

If you meet the right grade-schooler, you’ll find the story continues to float around as an urban legend, but the newspapers never got a whiff of it.

I know they did it to keep from appearing on a very special 60 Minutes, but it’s hard to know how many people moved through the district that summer, or how many disappeared into Wagner’s kitchen before we caught on. Maybe it’s best that all those tourists remained unaware of the local delicacy they were consuming.

Now I need to take a walk. Stop eating so much fast food crap.

Love,
Dad

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE7 – The Phantom Suburb, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode seven.

Skinner Co.Tonight we present, SE7 – The Phantom Suburb, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE7.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, in our final urban legend of the summer, we present The Phantom Surburb, a strange tale of misadventure. To learn more about this questionable myth, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE7 – The Phantom Suburb, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE6 – The Pale Child, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode six.

Skinner Co.Tonight we present, SE6 – The Pale Child, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE6.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, instead of our standard tale, we present The Pale Child, a cautionary urban myth of unreliable provenance. Find out more at http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE6 – The Pale Child, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

SE5 – The Pool Boy, Part 1 of 1

Welcome to Flash Pulp, special episode five.

Skinner Co.Tonight we present, SE5 – The Pool Boy, Part 1 of 1.

[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulpSE5.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Geek Out with Mainframe.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, in lieu of our usual fiction, we present The Pool Boy, a cautionary tale regarding public waters. To find out more on this aquatic myth, visit http://wiki.flashpulp.com

 

Flash Pulp SE5 – The Pool Boy, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Read more about it at the Flash Pulp Wiki

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FlashCast 33 – Teddy Bear Picnic

FlashCast 33 - Teddy Bear Picnic[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast033.mp3](Download/iTunes)

Hello, and welcome to FlashCast episode thirty-three – prepare yourself for bears, alternate realities, The Eremite, Conan Vs Fright Night, and the rest of Chinatown.

Pulp-ular Press

* * *

Fresh Fish, with Threedayfish

Contact Fish at his Facebook Page or on Twitter.

This week’s reviews – Conan (2011):

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1iJZIMddpM]

AND Fright Night (2011)

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txgGhyjPZGg]

* * *

A Spot of Bother:

Find Jeff at @PleaseLynchMe or at the Spot of Bother Blog

If you go out in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.

* * *

New York Minute:

Find Barry at http://bmj2k.com or on twitter
Chinatown, circa 1941 - found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/maiabee/2759164827/

* * *

Mailbag:

* * *

Backroom Plots:

* * *

Art of Narration

The Flash Pulp Wiki has a community portal!

* * *

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wLWhSZ1Uvo]
Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

* * *

Freesound.org credits:

* * *

If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, call our voicemail line at (206) 338-2792, or email us text or mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

198 – Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 6 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode one hundred and ninety-eight.

Flash PulpTonight we present, Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 6 of 6.
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp198.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Pendragon Variety.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, master frontiersman and student of the occult, Thomas Blackhall, must face an insidious airborne threat, as well as disappointment.

 

Flash Pulp 198 – Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 6 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Thomas BlackhallAs the roar of the insects approached, Blackhall hoped his traveling companion, Sour Thistle, was sufficiently sheltered, and lofted high the silver chain which dangled from his moist palm. The denizens of the fen also understood the imminent threat, and their sudden hush only amplified the approaching drone.

Tossing his hat to the muck, Thomas set his boot upon its wide brim, and clenched his teeth.

He was unaccustomed to the extra load Archer’s pound of flesh had added to the hook, but, even as he began to wheel the length of shining links over his head, he could feel the vigour the dead man’s weight brought to the talisman in the air about him.

Inky tendrils crept through the tall trunks of trees too exotic for Blackhall’s identification, and he knew his time was short.

Somewhere beyond the fetid heat of the swamp, the sound of thunder rolled across the forest.

“Tis for you, Mari,” said Thomas, only to himself.

He redoubled the speed with which he twisted his charm.

A new cacophony took hold then, rising from beneath the black cloud – it sounded as if the howl of a dying wolf entwined with the screams of a bairn come too early, all projected from the heavens above. To the north of the marsh, the sky seemed to ripple, then rend, and even the unchanging thunderhead which shaded the jungle mass transformed at the pressure.

It began to rain.

The winged parasites were well within sight of Blackhall by then, but the building gale had temporarily set them astray, and the dark coils moved in unsure billows, which looked, to Thomas’ eye, as if an imitation of the writhing obsidian bodies of the leeches themselves.

While the fetish felt to have taken on impossible heft, the skyward void grew broad at Blackhall’s efforts, and the wind ratcheted from a whisper to a wail.

The corpses The Eremite had anchored in the canopy, began to rock with the gusts, their dangling arms shaking in the rush. The temperature dropped rapidly, the vacuum sucking the heat away with a greedy chill.

Under the whip and pull of the rising storm, the swarm was broken apart as if tossed on a raging sea. While their wings struggled furiously to keep their relative position, the blow became too much for many – some fell to the earth, their flight organs snapped beneath the strain, but most blasted between the trunks, their wet bodies bursting as they slapped against the swaying timber.

Undisturbed by the maelstrom, the spirits of the dead men overhead pulled themselves from their rotting shells, and came tumbling to the mud.

As they gathered, about him, Blackhall maintained his labours, unwilling to cease until he was sure he’d done in the aberrant flock. Finally, however, with his coat slick with impacts, and the trees greasy with death, he allowed his arm rest.

He inspected the troop of phantasms which he’d raised as a byproduct of his exertion.

“It’ll be a hearth and a proper burial you’ll all want, but perhaps I could offer a taste of vengeance as well? I seek the old man.”

Many babbled nonsense driven by fear, and others started upon questions unanswerable in the moment, forcing Thomas to add gravity to his tone.

“I’ve a friend at the bog’s edge which requires immediate attention, a ritual that will take hours in itself, if her fever does not kill her. I’ve no interest, though, in being struck down as a I flee, so I must deal immediately with this hermit. You will indicate his location, or by all you hold holy, I’ll be sure you hang about in this damp hell for time beyond ken.”

A boy of eighteen caught his eye, not with a flapping tongue, instead with flapping hands. The lad, who Thomas suspected to be of one of the parties sent by Fitzhugh, pointed past his right shoulder.

“I’ve not beheld such a display since abandoning my exile to Eboracum,” said The Eremite, standing not ten yards away. “Who has sent you? Are you a minion of the spider god? Or perhaps he who now claims the name of Caesar? No, unlikely after so long – another sage then? Maltrusis? Acanthus?”

“You appear more alert than when at our previous crossing,” replied Blackhall.

The thaumaturge winced.

“I grow old. I fear sometimes I wake in places I have not meant to travel to. It seems less and less that I am myself.”

Blackhall moved his hand away from the silver sabre at his hip, and instead retrieved the small waxed pouch which contained his final letter from Mairi, as well as the implements of his sole vice. A few amongst the specters licked their blue lips at the sight, but none were willing to close the distance to the speakers.

It took focus to keep his fingers steady as he prepared his cigarette, but Thomas’ voice was strong.

“Few survive from your age – there are certainly none in the old world. I have met beings of ancient origin, but no man such as yourself.”

“None still live across the sea?”

“Perhaps you’ve held out secret hope that a companion of old would stumble into your hermitage, but in truth you are likely the last. Surely you must know of the dying? While the arcane runs deeply through these lands, it is not so back home. I believe I’ve encountered much for my age, but I have seen naught as taken by the measure of what I have thus far encountered in this colonial hinterland.”

Realizing he had no flame with which to ignite his construction, Blackhall tucked away the preparation for later use.

The magus nodded, adjusting his robe as he considered. He then straightened as far as his bowed spine would allow.

“I appreciate the news, but now I believe our conversation is at an end,” he said.

“You’ve driven beast and forest spirit from their territory,” Thomas continued, “if you do not submit, you will be done in by those far more powerful than I.”

“I was lucky to have surprised the regent at my doorstep, I do admit,” replied The Eremite, “but even with my lovelies smeared about the grove, I’ve ways of holding back those who overstep their reach.”

“Is that how you turned back the witch?”

“The witch?”

“A woman, old, though not near so as yourself, with a column of the dead behind her, cavorting in mockery of the living?” He was careful to make no mention that the parade of corpses contained his own beloved wife.

Slipping an ornate dagger, shimmering with arcane brilliance, from the interior of his sleeve, The Eremite did not reply. Instead his too-long vestments swept silently over the bog’s muck, sliding as if a snake upon its belly.

With the violent weather dissipating, the spirits at Blackhall’s back rapidly began to lose density, but stood firm enough to cuss their murderer loudly. Their shouts were drawn short, however, by a rapidly descending snarl.

The force of collision was enough to startle Thomas into retreating a pace. The brown assemblage, which had dropped onto the timeworn hermit from the thick matte of vegetation above, became a sphere of thrashing teeth and claws.

Once her opponent seemed thoroughly broken, Sour Thistle stepped aside to admire her handiwork.

“I summoned assistance,” she said, “but I could not hold back given the climate’s turmoil. In truth, I believed you eaten by a fiend.”

She then collapsed.

The heat of her infection was notable as he approached, and it was uncomfortable to lay his hand on her blazing fur.

Wasting no time in contemplation, Blackhall turned on his heel and moved to The Eremite.

The old man was alive, but badly twisted. His robes made it difficult to tell if his left arm had been entirely severed, or only torn far from its stump, but there was no doubt about the gaping condition of his belly.

“I was in a town to the south, and there was a boy there who’d eaten of a poisoned apple. This does not sound as if your design, it must be the hag – have you seen her?” demanded Blackhall.

“Given your hand in my dispatching, why should I reply?” asked The Eremite.

“I will give you an option – tell me, or, in spite of your reclusive desires, I will stand about here making boorish conversation until you’ve died. Then, I shall raise you up, and continue to do the same.” Thomas let slip the silver chain as he spoke. “Should my friend perish before you answer, the consequences will be considerably less polite.”

“Yes, I saw the hag. I repelled her assault easily.”

“Did you now? When do you recall beginning to suspect your senility?”

The Eremite spat blood into the air. “I am not senile.”

“Mayhaps your leeches drift across the land of their own will? Perhaps you wander your hermitage ranting as a matter of normal course? You have outlasted many – accept your end with dignity. Which way did she depart?” asked Thomas.

“I suspect west, but we did not sit about discussing our plans for the future.”

“I need better than suspicions,” replied the frontiersman, but the old man was too dead to hear it.

After a moment’s frustrated consideration, Blackhall returned his occult trinket to its place of keeping.

He knew he had a long job still ahead.

The fierce swelter had done Sour Thistle’s fever little good, and it was only with much strain that Thomas managed to relocate her unconscious form to the cooler airs of the outer forest.

It was then that he received his first surprise. In his absence the boundary had become populated by a broad array of woodland inhabitants, all peering anxiously into the murk of the tainted mire. Unsure of his welcome, given the reposing state of the lady the beasts had come to serve, Blackhall approached a pair of knobby kneed moose, and laid down the wolverine.

He considered it a tricky thing to utilize enough vigour to shake her awake, without raising the ire of his audience, but with a hardy wrist he managed to bring Sour Thistle about.

“I can help,” were his opening words.

“I shiver at the cold,” she replied.

“You’ll need a greater chill if I’m to carry out my ritual.”

He struck upon a plan then.

With a squad of able-fingered raccoons to assist his efforts, he quickly had the rotting men of the trees brought down, and cut free of their bindings. At Sour Thistle’s fading instruction, they made short work of affixing the lines to the entangled cart Thomas had spotted on his arrival at the mucky terrain.

The forest spirit was again in stupor when he lifted her into the wagon, but she’d left clear guidance to her adherents.

As Blackhall knotted the last of the cord, in hopes of greater stability for his standing position in the flat bed of his conveyance, he noted the beasts had already begun to scour the track.

Then commenced one of the strangest rides of Thomas’ long memory.

Some of the lashings had been frayed, so that a single strand might be held in the clenched mouths of a team of half-a-dozen scampering minks. At times a bull moose would lead, with an array of lesser creatures flanking his sides, at others Blackhall marked a pack of wolves managing the load alone.

At the head of the column strode the shimmering visages of the dead men, their ghostly light guiding the way through the whipping branches. A blanket of wild things moved at their feet, tearing clear protruding stones and sealing ragged holes before leaping aside to let the thundering wheels pass.

It was not for their illumination, however, that Blackhall had again taken up the Crook of Ortez. Thomas could feel the intensity of his companion’s malady, and all he could provide as succor was the cold, and rain, drawn on by pulling near the netherworld.

Standing astride the bucking platform, he maintained his sterling hook aloft, and summoned the wrath of the tempest.

An hour into their desperate run, their right fore-wheel splintered at a bad landing, but without upset to his regent, an adolescent black bear stepped to the axle, and took its bulk onto his shoulder. A brother was soon beneath the far side, lifting the orphaned hoop from the ground, and progress continued until the rear also gave way, leaving the raft moving entirely upon the rolling spines of an ever-swapping procession of carriers.

The journey which had taken Blackhall days was managed by the bestial train within hours – but, even then, Thomas was not sure their expedience would be enough.

When they finally arrived at the somber opening of the ice cave, Blackhall’s arm ached with exertion. Still, he was quick to leap from his transport and lift up the blazing weight of Sour Thistle.

Although it felt as if she baked the skin of his head and neck as he toted her, the unnatural conflagration was no match for the eager cold of the frozen grotto, and, his hands thus freed, Blackhall turned his attentions to curing, rather than maintaining.

It was a dusk, and a dawn, and a dusk, before he stumbled from the den, the fool’s smile of success on his lips.

Those who’d assisted in his victory had disappeared to their own grounds, but, as if in their wake, sat the boy, Layton, who’d first shown Thomas the frigid shelter.

“Came up for Ma, and I heard, uh, singing. I thought it was you, so I figured I’d wait in case you required assistance. Didn’t want to bust in on you though,” said the lad, offering up the glow of his lamp against the darkness.

“It’s good to see you again – I thought you’d be off by now?” replied Blackhall, taking a seat on a flat stone cropping.

“Another week, they say. I feel the noose drawing tight.”

Thomas nodded at the response, retrieving the cigarette he’d produced ages earlier.

“I’ve thought further on your problems. I’ve just discovered the bodies of a number of Britishers who’ll require decent burial, and who better to send than the freshly minted lieutenant who woos your girl? I believe I’m certainly owed favours enough, at this point, to have a say in appointing the expedition. Better yet, I’ve also recently recalled a woman of considerable patience, and the heart of a caretaker, who might do well with lodging upon your land so that she might set up house with her fellow, and tend your mother. Her drowsy man would be well suited to learn discipline under your father’s farmyard tutelage as well.”

From the spark of the lantern, he lit his vice, and pondered his Mairi’s place under the burgeoning tract of stars.

From within the cavern, the echos of a racking snore became audible.

 

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

197 – Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 5 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode one hundred and ninety-seven.

Flash PulpTonight we present, Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 5 of 6.
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp197.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Pendragon Variety.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, master frontiersman and student of the occult, Thomas Blackhall, comes upon a discomforting bog of unnatural origin.

 

Flash Pulp 197 – Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 5 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

Thomas BlackhallThe fever blur of the swamp’s heat made the approaching bent figure of the old man seem spectral, but, as he neared the cusp that marked the edge of his bog, Blackhall was able to scrutinize his wizened frame. The newcomer’s face was lined like a spider’s web, his wrinkles having formed a connecting network that continued down his neck and below the maroon robe he wore. The garb had once been of handsome craftsmanship, but his shrunken stature had long left the hem trailing in the muck. About his collar was a string of beads, which held a pendant composed of an array of intricate golden loops. At the center of the coils rested an emerald of unlikely bulk.

To Thomas’ inspection, the elder’s skin appeared as if paper stretched thin over a bamboo frame.

Opening wide his hooded eyes, the intruder began ranting.

“He says, that his name is The Eremite,” translated Blackhall.

“Yes,” replied Sour Thistle, her teeth barred and her claws on full display, ”I speak Latin.”

“I apologize,” said Thomas, clearing his throat.

The Eremite did not let the interruption break his delivery.

After five minutes with barely a pause for breath, Blackhall took up a side dialogue with his traveling companion.

“All this talk of blood from our bowels and tears from our fingernails is certainly passionate, but I’ve the impression that he isn’t entirely aware he’s addressing an audience,” he said.

“Transients rarely make sense to me. You men die too quickly to ever have learned anything,” she replied.

His gusto spent, the orator took on a morose tone, but continued.

“He’s talking madness,” concluded Sour Thistle. “Something about his mother burning the eggs on the fire, and his brother stealing his portion?”

“What? Who’s that?” said The Eremite in muddled English, his eyes suddenly focusing on the murk around him.

Unwilling to wait for an answer, he turned. His form warped, then broke, tumbling into a cascade of woolly spiders, the large furry body of each appearing to convey an aspect of the warlock; Thomas first noted a red splash that seemed once cloth, then a single fat arachnid baring a golden pattern inset with brilliant green.

All skittered out of sight; some ascending towards the canopy, some disappearing within the undergrowth.

“This does not bode well for us,” said Sour Thistle, her hackles raised.

Then she was bitten.

Thomas’ boot found the jade-spined insect only seconds after its venom was laid, but his effort met with unexpected resistance. Instead of dashing the beast to pieces as he’d intended, the blow brought on a heavy crunch, which sent the thing speeding towards the fen.

“Hold still,” Blackhall told his ally, while eying the rapidly swelling infection just above her right fore-paw.

An angry red hive had taken hold at the site, and seemed to grow even under his examination.

“This will be painful, I apologize,” he said, giving no opportunity for complaint as he unsheathed his skinning knife, and dug it into her flesh.

It was a crude operation, and she keened her displeasure at his rough surgery, but it was swiftly completed. Although the ease with which his edge pierced the area of infection – given the occult nature of his subject – unsettled him, he held his tongue. A strong hand was all that was required to remove the core of the wound, but he knew that he had not been in time to entirely excise the contamination.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, as he cleaned his blade.

He examined the red which had splattered about the area, and the wolverine’s drawn snout, then raised an eyebrow. “No, I do not believe you will. This is no simple poison.”

Ignoring his words, she took a tentative step, and staggered.

“Perhaps after I rest a few moments,” she replied.

“No. You’ll wait here,” said Blackhall. “I’ve a conversation to hold with an old acquaintance anyhow.”

As he spoke, he reached deep within the folds of his great coat and retrieved a silver chain, upon the end of which rested a hook of remarkable craftsmanship.

“You possess The Crook of Ortez?” asked the lady of the forest. To Thomas’ ear, her voice had taken on no small wonder.

“It was given to me by the last of the line,” he replied. “Well, given may not be quite the right word. I shall return. Rest.”

With a final examination of his patient’s comfort, Blackhall righted himself. Taking in a deep breath of the cooler air, he stepped across the boundary, and into the marsh.

Shimmying the tall trunk of an unfamiliar breed of tree, to achieve access to the corpse of Archer, was a moist task of some exertion, but Thomas felt no sympathy for the cadaver as he cut its bonds and let it drop to the soggy earth below.

Rosy Red’s face had been largely eaten away by carrion feeders, and his gummy maw exposed by the steady gnawing of insects. Blackhall exhaled, then stooped to begin his discourse.

Dragging the chain’s barb along Archer’s putrid flesh, Thomas felt a tug, as if a hefty catch had taken hold of an angling line, and the frontiersman heaved upon the chain.

Before him stood the spectral shadow of a man he’d once known.

“Bloody Blackhall!? What brings you to this god forsaken witch tit of a hole?” asked the dead solider.

“The same thing that brought you here – Fitzhugh, and his damnable scheming,” Thomas replied.

“Ahh, I’m just having you about, I know well enough why you’re here. I’ve waited since that old bastard slit my throat, and let his flock consume my mules, for someone to come pull my stink from the treetops, although, I must admit, I wasn’t expecting him to send in a witch doctor.”

“He’s still a pushy bugger,” said Blackhall.

The apparition chuckled.

“Listen,” Thomas continued, “I’ve need of your help.”

“How so?” asked Rosy Red.

“This trinket can do more than just temporarily pull loudmouths from their graves, but it requires many hours to achieve a strength suitable to my requirements – and, given the likely approach of the swarm of life-suckers, time is not something I have. There is an alternative, however. Unfortunately, it’s an unpleasant one.”

Archer raised a shimmering hand to tap at his nose, and Blackhall briefly wondered if it seemed a luxury in light of his missing original.

“Remember that long haired Spaniard? The pygmy with the rapiers?” asked the phantom.

Thomas could hardly forget – after parrying a cluster of bayonets, the fellow had done in three of his platoon-mates. Archer had managed to disarm the man by using the butt of his rifle as a club, but at the cost of an opened leg-artery. If the daredevil hadn’t paused to gloat over his fallen opponent, Blackhall would never have had the opportunity to strangle him with his own locks.

“I find it difficult to disremember most of the things I did during our effort to stop the tiny emperor,” he replied.

“Dead or not, I recognize a debt when it’s owed,” said Rosy Red. “What are the terms?”

By way of answer, Thomas once again retrieved his blade. Bending low beside the corpse, he began to saw forcefully at the cadaver’s thigh. Removing a crudely-rounded patty of rotting skin and muscle, he laced it onto the hook’s intricate barb.

As it worked its way on, it became apparent that a force was wearing at the shade.

Blackhall completed his counsel.

“You’ll be bound where you died, and unable to move without great effort, at least until I remove your beef from the fetish – and there will be pain. The more I must use it, the greater the affliction. In fairness, you should know I mean to unfasten the heavens.”

“I’ve given enough, I suppose I can take a little,” replied Archer.

The memory of a doe-eyed senorita, lying wide-mouthed as her toddler uselessly grasped at her uncoupled arm, came suddenly to Thomas’ mind. He could not dismiss the smirk Rosy had delivered to him as the butcher strode from the scene.

“Indeed,” he said. “Now, where might I find -”

His ears had not ceased to strain since his last near-fatal encounter, and even his unpleasant labours had not driven away the warning that had been provided by the faltering stag he’d seen consumed – as such, he was not entirely taken by surprise when the telltale hum again filled the air.

 

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

196 – Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 4 of 6

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode one hundred and ninety-six.

Flash PulpTonight we present, Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 4 of 6.
(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp196.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by Pendragon Variety.

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, master frontiersman and student of the occult, Thomas Blackhall, finds himself in the gloom of a fatal cloud.

 

Flash Pulp 196 – Support: a Blackhall Tale, Part 4 of 6

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

BlackhallAt first the distance from Blackhall to the inky tendrils which had drifted from the verdant green of the forest made it appear as if thick smoke had come wending from some unseen flame. As it moved closer, however, purpose and cohesion became apparent: a firm lick of darkness first touched, then enveloped, the laggard of Sour Thistle’s bolting honour guard.

The brown furred weasel-cousin squealed in pain, and commenced thrashing.

It did nothing to slow the approach of the black mass.

“Follow,” was all Blackhall had opportunity to shout at the forest queen, then he shattered the still water with pounding legs, and, finding an acceptable depth, dived.

The bushman was quick to retrieve the talisman he’d long ago lashed about his neck with rawhide, and, popping the flat stone beneath his tongue, he breathed heavily of occult air. As the blue sky above his rippling view grew murky, he was relieved to find Sour Thistle close at hand, her hide swollen with the wet, but otherwise unharmed. Unknotting his trinket’s strand, they spent uncountable hours below, trading the stone between them.

The standoff wore at Thomas’ nerves, but, as time passed, he began to feel as if their position, while not permanently tenable, would at least hold against the threatening swarm. Even as such considerations ran through his mind, a fat ebon slug splashed down on the surface, and drifted in his direction. He could see the squirming shape clearly: A soot coloured, three-inch worm, not un-finger-like, which flexed and bloated as it struggled to bring its double set of fluttering dragon-fly appendages into action.

A leech, Blackhall realized, but worse – a winged leech.

His eyes were locked on the beast with fascination, and concern, but, whatever unnatural metamorphosis the thing had experienced to take its new form had also made it unsuitable to a life in the water. As Thomas watched, the parasite’s struggles ceased, and its glistening form became nothing more than floating detritus.

What followed was an afternoon of impatience. Although the pair of survivors made several attempts to simply walk to a point of safety, the swarm seemed intent to follow them, smothering the waves under their shadow.

In the end they were left in positions not so unlike those they’d had on shore – Blackhall standing, his shirt now flapping in the flow instead of the breeze, and the wolverine sitting, her claws playing impatiently with the muddy clay of the lake-bottom.

The thought of supper looming large in his growling stomach, Thomas began to consider a methodology of angling with his available instruments, which were few. He did not relish the idea of raw fish taken in with gulps of silty water, but Sour Thistle, he thought, might appreciate the freshness – and, given a protracted siege, he might have no alternative.

Could they last the night, he wondered? The week?

He looked up, and they were gone.

As his head cleared the surface, the final wisps broke westward – but they appeared dislocated and untidy, not a solid mass, but, instead, a speckled haze.

When once again upon solid ground, they surveyed their surroundings. The buck they’d seen break the wood-line, just prior to their escape, lay where it had fallen. Portions of its flesh had been eaten away, but most of its hide held – still, it’s bone structure was plainly visible beneath, as if the parasitic flock had suctioned its innards clean of blood, meat, and organs.

Sour Thistle’s guardians were there as well – the swiftest of the fishers had nearly made the sand when was overtaken. The collapsed fur recalled to Thomas’ mind a mink he’d purchased for his Mairi, but he was careful to keep the thought close.

“Should we bury them?” he asked.

“No, the carrion birds are our way,” she replied.

It seemed, to Blackhall’s eye, that there was a meager dinner left for the crows, but he again said nothing.

They spent the night at the lake’s edge, the frontiersman snacking on jerky from his reclaimed travel gear, and the lady of the forest cracking oyster shells fished from the mud of the shallows. The darkness invited little talk, as awareness of an impending threat depended heavily on their heeding the babble of the breeze. As dawn broke, however, and the smell of cooking bass lifted Sour Thistle from a sporadic slumber, Thomas continued the discussion he’d begun the day previous.

“It’s the flying plague I’ve come about. As regent of this domain, surely you must know their source?”

He tossed one of the seared fillets to the queen, who let it fall to the beach’s turf to cool. Her razor teeth had no concern for extra sand.

Under the cresting sun’s orange glow, the six cold fishers were barely visible, and yet Thomas noted Sour Thistles contemplation of their resting places.

“Our eyes will be eaten from our skulls before we arrive, but I will lead you none the less,” she replied.

Then their mouths were too busy with food for conversation.

* * *

The opening of their journey was largely spent retracing the route upon which Blackhall had approached, as the queen had chosen a remote location to rule her wild subjects from. The following days were taken at a careful pace, lingering as often by brook or river as possible, and always with ears cocked to the wind.

They did not encounter the swarm again until after they’d arrived.

Their destination became apparent to Thomas as the pair crested a wooded hill. Although it was still a good many miles off, and he could not see their true objective from the dense forest floor, he noted a cloud which remained unchanged, even as the branches about him rattled in gusts. As his view crept closer, he confirmed his suspicion that the thunderhead, gray against a sky filled with white fluff, was perfectly round in composition, no matter what the state of weather in the surrounding environs.

At the realization, Blackhall tutted to himself quietly, and Sour Thistle simply nodded.

Given the hush as she moved over long dried beds of pine needles, Thomas was unwilling to break the calm that had become the hallmark of their tour, but many questions alighted on his tongue in that moment.

Too many of his queries, he felt, were answered when they achieved the edge of the swamp.

The boundary between the spaces was plainly visible, and tight. The march of pines ceased, and heat seemed to bleed from the broad leafed plants, and thick vines, that marked the change in terrain. The damp air at the marsh’s brink set Thomas’ lungs to aching.

“I’d not expect to find such a sight anywhere this far north – if on this continent at all,” he said.

“It is the time to speak of the old man who lives within,” replied Sour Thistle. She’d come to a halt some yards away from the twisted landscape, and squatted now in the deep shadow of a fir tree. “The bloodsuckers are his. I have remained within my principality, and he in his own. There has been little confusion as to the perimeter. We have never spoken.”

With his eyes prying at the shade within, Thomas began to make troubling identifications.

“I believe that’s a cart – and those may be meatless asses, dead in harness.”

“Look harder, you’ve yet to find the worst of it,” the wolverine responded. “Have you examined the strange fruit which the thaumaturge harvests?”

The canopy above the bog was woven thickly between the trunks – another oddity for the frosty lands of the north – and it was only by craning into the swelter that Blackhall was able to uncover her meaning.

Strung by their feet, from the highest reaches, were the shapes of men. Their bodies, as well as their bindings, endured in various states of decay, and Blackhall’s view fell upon a nose-less face which he reckoned to likely belong to his former acquaintance, “Rosy Red” Archer.

“Squirrels have sung to me of the life drainers, though I had not encountered them myself until recently.” said Sour Thistle. “The incidents commenced sporadically, only to grow all too frequent. I know not why the ancient has become vengeful, but it is obvious all the same that his wrath has regularly breached our borders.”

With her tones still fading under the morass of insect song, a bent form stepped from the dim, as if summoned by her words.

 

(Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6)

 

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Freesound.org credits:

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

FlashCast 32 – Chinatown

FC32 - Chinatown[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast032.mp3](Download/iTunes)

Hello, and welcome to FlashCast episode thirty-two – prepare yourself for Lucy, Chinatown, transvestite superheroes, Peruvian drug lords, intergalactic bounty hunters, a Joe jingle, and Thomas Blackhall.

Pulp-ular Press

* * *

Fresh Fish, with Threedayfish

Contact Fish at his Facebook Page or on Twitter.

This week’s review – Cowboy Bebop:
[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYzV1yaTGI]

* * *

A Spot of Bother:

Find Jeff at @PleaseLynchMe or at the Spot of Bother Blog
Lucy Festival

  • Lucy’s Japan-fighting fillings
  • Lucy & Star Trek
  • * * *

    New York Minute:

    Find Barry at http://bmj2k.com or on twitter
    1960s Chinatown New York City Vintage Photo Postcard

    * * *

    Mailbag:

    [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJlXQ__LScw]
    [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VACFLuni49c]

    * * *

    Audiodacity of Hope:

    [youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTVYeDW2Yx8]

    * * *

    Backroom Plots:

    * * *

    Art of Narration

    The Flash Pulp Wiki has a community portal!

    * * *

    Also, many thanks, as always, Retro Jim, of RelicRadio.com for hosting FlashPulp.com and the wiki!

    * * *

    Freesound.org credits:

    * * *

    If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at https://flashpulp.com, call our voicemail line at (206) 338-2792, or email us text or mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

    FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.