CNN Asks: Thoughts You Thought You Knew

CNN’s front-page sometimes finds itself up against the hard questions – on those occasions, I step in to help.

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Phone numbers to half-a-dozen halal pizza places, a recurring weekly alarm to call his mother, Apple store warranty info, Angry Birds, and a weather program that only ever reports the day to be “hot & arid”.

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Think you know about diabetes? You don’t know jack – consider the facts:

• Diabetes once slapped a woman for cutting ahead of it in line to see the Tron sequel.
• Diabetes likes to hang out on highway overpasses and pee on passing vehicles.
• Diabetes once tested Paul Atreides with “the box”.
• Diabetes shot a man in reno, rushed him to the hospital, had him stitched up, brought him flowers, drove him home, then shot him a second time, just to watch him die.
• Diabetes steps on all the cracks, and secretly wishes it WOULD break its mother’s back.

Think you know about diabetes? Think again.

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Personally, I find them all pretty mockable.

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Absolutely not.

I find this sort of use and abuse of service staff pretty deplorable – just because you might encounter some poor maid napping in a hotel hallway doesn’t mean you can send her over sideways like some Wisconsinite farm-boy toppling a sleeping cow.

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Yes: specifically, the one they tweeted of their junks while at the jyhadi gym.

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