Category: junk thought

A Story With Legs

Pretty busy day today, but I wanted to point out this quick story I noticed on Boing Boing, although what caught my eye wasn’t the reason for its originally being posted:

“I first went to the health clinic, but it was closed. So I rang the medical help line and they told me that it shouldn’t be closed, so I went to emergency and sat there,” the man named only as Jonas told the newspaper.

After an hour-long wait in a treatment room, he lost patience and proceeded to sew up his own wound.

“They had set out a needle and thread and so I decided to take the matter into my hands,” he said.

But hospital staff were not as impressed by his initiative and have reported the man on suspicion of criminal dispossession (egenmäktigt förfarande) for having used hospital equipment without authorization. – The Local

The original post used a slightly different term to describe what the hospital had reported him for, although I think “criminal dispossession” sounds just as odd on the tongue.

I hate to see such motivation be knocked down: this guy is busy doing his own renovations, his own medical work – he’s a real go-getter, the kind of man who’ll go far in this company – and I think calling in the police is just a bit of jealousy on the hospital staff’s part, jealousy that Jonas was moving in on their territory. Either that, or they’re trying to cover for the fact that they were supposed to be open, but were instead busy in the back trading Pokemon cards*.

My point though, is that Criminal Dispossession sounds like a disturbingly vague kind of thing to be charged with – is he being accused of stealing the needle and thread?

*I can only assume it was Pokemon, and not getting into the high-end anesthetics

Assault On Batteries

Baghdad BatteryI was having a discussion with Opopanax the other day – while I was busy swapping out the batteries from a remote – largely centered around the fact that there must be one battery to rule them all: one battery brand that is empirically better than all other AA-providers.

Quickly setting aside my first idea, (to buy a large sample of each type of battery and a dollar-store hand fan,) I sat down to google it.

From a 2007 article by CBS news affiliate, KDKA:

The first is a low-drain or more sustained use, which is needed for clocks, toys, and most television remotes. The second test simulated short bursts of power, or the kind you need for something like a digital camera flash.

For those short bursts of power, Consumer Reports rated the Energizer e2 Lithium battery at the top of the list. At $2.25 per battery it costs more, but tests show it is less expensive in the long-run.

For sustained use devices, testers say the alkaline batteries are the way to go.

The best of the bunch is the Kirkland AA batteries from Costco. They are .21 cents a battery and will keep your toys and other things running for a lot less than other alkaline batteries.

Fine, but what if that isn’t a deep enough discussion? What if I need more battery data?

Then I might need to head to Battery University.

Battery University is an on-line resource that provides practical battery knowledge for engineers, educators, students and battery users alike. The papers address battery chemistries, best battery choices and ways to make your battery last longer.

It’s a neat idea, and obviously a labour of love by battery geek, and President of Cadex Electronics, Isidor Buchmann. Visit to learn things like:

  Testing deep cycle lead acid batteries

  • What is the difference between Capacity and CCA?
  • Battery rapid-test methods
  • What are typical battery problems

Personally, I’ll probably just forget about this topic until my remote stops working again.

Hulk Not Like Easy Joke

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kat8I5UM_Vs]

I don’t have a huge amount to say, relating to this video, beyond: “I’ll take two” – but I did want to note that if you google “Incredible HULC”, you get over 2,500 hits.

Some of those people were even paid for that laziness.

However, this does give me an opportunity to bring up another of my favourite internet people, Feminist Hulk:

HULK HEART IRIGARAY. HULK SMASH WITH THE UNCONTAINABLE FLUIDITY AND DYNAMISM OF FEMININE JOUISSANCE! (LACAN LOOK SCARED)Thu Jul 15 16:23:05 via webFEMINIST HULK
feministhulk

Caber Pass

Just one of those random facts I was unaware of (emphasis mine):

The caber toss is a traditional Scottish athletic event practised at the Scottish Highland Games involving the tossing of a large wooden pole called a caber, similar to a telephone pole or power pole. It is said to have developed from the need to toss logs across narrow chasms to cross them. – Wikipedia

Did everyone carry their own personal bridge back then, or was there a fellow, the caber-man, who came around to a special whistle and chucked his timber across stymieing streams?

This strikes me as a rationalization for something a muscled Scotsman actually originated with the statement “Hey, watch this!”

Time Wasters

The dogged, in-depth journalism at CNN, strikes again:

Time WastingIt’s tempting to crack the cryo-vaults and make a ‘read it for the articles’ joke, but I think the truth behind both the highlighted articles is something closer to the idea that social pressure can make you do some odd things.

I just hope CNN will decide it’s front page news when I finally unveil the Safe For Work version of skinner.fm.

(It is interesting to see ancient FARK-ese creeping onto the CNN page – how long until they pick up an FARK Obvious tag?)

Also, I’m suddenly concerned this may one day lead to a product entitled “Disney’s™ Playboy For Kids”.

Death Ray

Codos sent me this link, while referencing the 30 Rock scene below.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTpP412fM8U]

US firm Raytheon has unveiled its anti-aircraft laser at the Farnborough Airshow in Hampshire.

The Laser Close-In Weapon System (CIWS) can either be used on its own or alongside a gunnery system.

In May, the laser was used to shoot down unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs) in a series of tests.

Raytheon said the solid state fibre laser produces a 50 kilowatt beam and can be used against UAV, mortar, rockets and small surface ships. – More From BBC

Lasers aren’t just for threatening the junks of Super-Agents anymore.

How long until we invent flying mirrors?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cp2Z712XtY]

Head

I missed this bit of news when it first ran:

“We’ve come to the conclusion that there is a black market out there for human body parts for research or for whatever reason,” saidPulaski County coroner Garland Camper. “We just want to make sure these specimens here aren’t a part of that black market and underground trade.”

The heads were being transported to the Fort Worth office of Medtronic, a leading medical research and technology company based in Minnesota.

Medtronic spokesman Brian Henry said it is common to ship body parts for medical education and research, but he said it is rare for a shipment to be seized.

“We expect our suppliers to follow proper procedures,” he said.

Camper described the items as 40 to 60 human heads.

– More at NBC DFW

What can I add to that? All possible angles of comedy are already cliched – can’t make a joke about carry on, can’t make a “Heads On A Plane” joke, can’t go for a lost luggage gag.

I do wonder, however, about the possibility of a plane crash – I’d hate to be the rescue people on the ground, collecting up rogue noggins and freaking out about the lack of bodies to match them up with.