Category: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Regarding "The Hoodie-Footie"

I have no idea how prevalent these things are – for all I know they’ve already reached a Slanket-level of popularity – but I feel like someone needs to make a stand before it’s too late.



Not only do you like like a sexualized three-year-old wearing this thing, it’s also just one more step towards being dropped into an expandable terrycloth sack at your birth, which you’ll wear for life, and eventually be buried in.

Joe Estevez Update

Joe Estevez in SoultakerThis is a bit of inside-baseball, unless you’re an Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan, but, remember Joe Estevez, Martin Sheen’s brother?

You know, the guy from Werewolf and Soultaker.

Joe Estevez in Werewolf

Jessica May just let me know that he apparently attempted to move in on Two & a Half Men* while Charlie Sheen was in rehab!

In the letter, Estevez’s manager Ed Meyer, writes that Joe is “by far the funniest of the Sheen & Estevez clan” and pitches the idea that he go on Two and a Half Men and take over while Charlie is on “Vacation.” – Perez Hilton*

For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, you might begin your education in comedy at the youtube link below. Prepare yourself for bad accents and California ladies.


* Ugh.

Some Returns

Weekend At Bernie'sHey, remember when I said I was going into a more weekend-style blogging mode? I wasn’t kidding.

Here’s a brief recycling overview of some of my recent tweets.



TV Dinner

Nightmare SausageWhat ever happened to the trope of the “bad food” nighttime hallucination? It seemed like there was an era when any television-based father figure who ate a sausage and took a nap, while suffering some sort of moral quandary, would have their rest interrupted by a roaming hallucinatory spirit, or alternate-universe versions of their own children.

Cliff Huxtable eats a hoagie and bam, he’s suffering the delusion that Theo is dropping out of school and Rudy is climbing up his leg with a knife clenched between her teeth.
Huxtable and a Hoagie
For the youngsters in the crowd who might be doubting that this sort of thing happened, allow me to quote a snippet from, regarding The Cosby Show, season 6, episode 8.

Cliff dreams that the eruption of a volcano in Peru has sent spores into the drinking water and caused men to become pregnant. Cliff, Elvin, Martin and Theo are all pregnant. Theo deals with stares and unkind comments because he is an “unwed father.”

Was ergot poisoning just a lot more common back then?

The Cos wasn’t the only one to suffer through this situation (repeatedly) though, I’m fairly sure that this gag was used in quite a few shows to help grease the wheels for a seasonal ripping off of “A Christmas Carol” – heck, if I recall correctly, the entire run of Newhart was blamed on some bad “Japanese food” in the final episode.
Newhart finaleI’m reminded of this Mitch Hedburg quotation:

I hate dreaming. Because when you sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work, you know – there I am in a comfortable bed, the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord. I want a dream of me watching myself sleep.

Avoid the Noid

Have you heard of the Telenoid R1?

I would say it’s currently the creepiest robot humanity has managed to create.


From a BBC article:

Ishiguro’s system uses a motion-tracking webcam to transmit your voice, facial expressions and head movements to the Telenoid, via a high-bandwidth web connection.

The avatar produces only a rough approximation of real body language, but it is surprisingly easy to dupe oneself into regarding it as ‘human’. – more

Its intentions are relatively pure, but it’s impossible (for me, at least) to not find the idea of speaking to a naked, crucified, milky-white quadruple-amputee kind of disturbing.
Elfoid (Image From The BBC Article)

(Image from the BBC article linked above)

It certainly doesn’t help that the robot’s creator, Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro of Osaka University, is also attempting to create a miniature version he calls an ‘Elfoid’. These things just strike me as a little too close to the kodama from Princess Mononoke, and that’s a no go as far as a device I’d want to use to communicate to my loved ones with.

Junk Science

Chimney Sweep Van Dyke From Mary PoppinsWhile I was doing some research last night, I came across this nugget from Wikipedia:

The first cause of cancer was identified by British surgeon Percivall Pott, who discovered in 1775 that cancer of the scrotum was a common disease among chimney sweeps.

This sparks so many questions that I don’t have the time right now to discover the answer to, foremost of which is “why”?

Is there some naughty secret to chimney sweeping that I’m not privy to?

Even Crabbier

While the giant spider crab I posted up earlier was certainly impressive, in my heart of hearts I think I could probably defeat one in a duel. I’m not so sure about this, however:
Coconut Crab
The coconut (or robber) crab, as pointed out to me by Ms. AK, is huge. If confronted by a giant spider crab, you might rip off a limb and quickly dip it in some butter – this beast looks like it probably has a bucket of extra bold BBQ sauce stashed somewhere, just in case some human’s fingers come too close.



I realize this is sort of turning into a random post Friday, but:

I found this in the local paper.
(I apologize for the fuzziness, I captured the image using my phone’s camera.)

For a thousand dollars I’m tempted to wander into sitcom territory and break out the black spray paint.

I do like that they call them “tuxedo markings” – is this common in the cat-description world, or is Bozzie especially classy?

Also, who keeps their cat’s weight on file?

Shocking Fashion

Ladies, have you ever thought to yourself, “I need to electrocute another human being from at least ten feet away, but my current anti-personnel solution just isn’t feminine enough?”

Well, the Taser C2 has you covered.
Pink Taser C2
Package includes a built in tactical flash light, laser sight, and one TASER cartridge!

Although, please note:

However, an electrostatic discharge can come from many sources. When an electrostatic discharge, regardless of the source, contacts the front of a TASER Cartridge, it is possible for the cartridge to discharge. Therefore, avoid contact between static electricity and the TASER Cartridge because static electricity can cause unexpected discharge. – Taser C2 Manual

So, be sure not to have any other static creating items in your purse, and be doubly sure not to rub it against any balloons*!

(*Despite the concern, I’m sure the C2 is still a lot of fun at children’s birthday parties!)