Category: junk thought

Reviving The Monster

Frankenstein's Lab
My suspicion, regarding today’s site instability, is that the server room where the page is dispensed from is simply lacking sufficient science-y props.

The necessary corrective measures are likely just some more Flash Gordon music, and a cluster of those lightning-orbs common to old horror flicks.

Speaking of which, I ran across some interesting tidbits regarding the classic Universal Frankenstein movie:

Kenneth Strickfaden designed the electrical effects used in the “creation scene.” So successful were they that such effects came to be considered an essential part of every subsequent Universal film involving the Frankenstein Monster. Accordingly, the equipment used to produce them has come to be referred to in fan circles as “Strickfadens.” It appears that Strickfaden managed to secure the use of at least one Tesla Coil built by the then-aged Nikola Tesla himself. According to this same source, Strickfaden also doubled for Karloff in the electrical “birth” scene as Karloff was deathly afraid of being electrocuted from the live voltage on the stage.

– wikipedia

My advice for the mad scientists feverishly attempting to re-stabilize the beast is thus: sometimes fire isn’t the right approach; sometimes you need to pamper the monster.

Karloff, as The Monster, between scenes.

Attack of the Revenge of the Return

Backyard planet

Last night the server apparently caught a case of the fall-overs, but, fearless chrononaut RetroJim, of Relic Radio, has applied the proper whips to the proper galley slaves, and everything seems to be back to normal.

While I’ve got your attention, however, I’d like to point out that friend of the site, Barry/BMJ2k, is celebrating his 500th post over at Mr Blog’s Tepid Ride (http://bmj2k.com) – why not swing by and let him know how much you appreciate his constant slaving over a hot keyboard?

When you get back from that, the final item I might point out is last night’s episode, #162: The Last Pilgrimage, which is 19% more epic than the usual Flash Pulp. As I’ve mentioned previously, by the time we post a story I’ve usually grown to hate some aspect of it – not so this time.

Burning Traditions

Birthday BlazeAs part of Jessica May’s birthday celebration, we held a small blaze in our freshly constructed backyard fire-pit. Standing at the flame’s edge, my mind wandered back to the last time we’d had such a gathering: at our old place of residence, a year, and a lifetime, ago.

The momentum of memory didn’t stop there, however. I recalled the summer evenings, in my youth, when I would listen to the flat and broken tones of my grandfather, singing along to some maudlin cowboy tune while staring into the smoke and sipping at his hops. Then, further back, a recollection of my own father, before his death, stoking high the fire, and warning my seven-year-old clumsiness against getting too close.

Captured by the sequence, my mind’s eye went even beyond – to the tales of bushwhacking and lumber camps that my mother’s father had imparted from his own adolescence, and to the lonely embers my father’s father must have gathered about while still a boy himself, when the land had yet to be cleared for farming.

Neanderthals gathered about a fire - from http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1912195,00.html

There are few common threads that run through the course of human history. If you were to present a bungalow, gas range, or memory-foam mattress, to a traveler from a previous age, they’d little understand their provenance – but, lead them to a simple fire, and they’d recognize an ageless, and universal, hospitality.

Not Quite Ready For The End Of The World

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
When I was a youth, the post-apocalypse was a relatively simple affair – all you needed were some football pads to wear and a few sheets of scrap metal to affix to your Pinto, and you were good to go.

Of course, as technology moves on, and as our tastes in Armageddon-chic evolve, so too must the vehicles we intend to ride across the barren wastes.

I feel it was just such a case that prompted London’s Mutoid Waste Company to develop Lrry-1, a half-motorcycle, half-dog, fire-breathing monster.

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8f7mKi3TLI]

Of course, it’s tough to picture the last hope of a dying Earth riding such a monstrosity – it seems much more likely that some future iteration of this beast would be the mount of choice for a ruthless Baron, ruling the desolation with an iron fist.

Who then will rise up to defend us from the imminent pack of flame dispensing robo-canines?

I nominate this lad:

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53MQP0Q-vDU]

Still, none of these post-cataclysmic conveyances are quite ready to conquer the badlands, so hopefully we’ve got a few more years yet.

More Random Pointers

Poinsettia found at http://strawberrysweetdream.wordpress.com/This may be a little seasonally incorrect, but it’s a factoid I grew up with, and I was a surprised to learn it’s nothing more than another urban legend:

In the United States and perhaps elsewhere, there is a common misconception that the poinsettia is highly toxic. This is not true; it is mildly irritating to the skin or stomach and may sometimes cause diarrhea and vomiting if eaten. Sap introduced into the human eye may cause temporary blindness.

– wikipedia

Even with the myth cleared up, the idea of it causing temporary blindness is interesting. Further reading has lead me to the understanding that it’s not a reliable result, but something equivalent to a can of mace that doesn’t induce pain, but instead causes short-term loss of sight, (or even both,) might be quite effective.

Honestly, I’m sort of a fan of devices that encourage people with criminal intentions to seek professional medical treatment for non-life-threatening ailments – like the Rape-aXe.

If an attacker were to attempt vaginal rape, his penis would enter the latex sheath and be snagged by the barbs, causing the attacker excruciating pain during withdrawal and giving the victim time to escape. The condom would remain attached to the attacker’s body when he withdrew and could only be removed surgically

– wikipedia

Rape-aXe "condom"

Friday Fractions

Walking
Someone requested the full-sized version of the image used for the last FlashCast – I should note that most of the FC album art first cycles through my twitter feed, but I can’t blame people for not wanting to dig through my rambling, so I’ve made it available, above.

Feel free to click through for the largest available version.

I’ve mentioned it before, but there’s something about the weather in our new burg that has me constantly thinking in terms of horror film settings; a lot of rain, mist, fog, and creeping chills. Don’t consider this a complaint, on the contrary, it’s been quite helpful as far as mood building goes.

Anyhow – the other item I wanted to discuss was a recurring feature I’ve been considering. Many of the folks who swing by here, or subscribe to the podcast, have projects of their own. I’d like to instate a regular Friday spotlight on those folks and their feats.

As such, here’s a short list, in alphabetical order:

Reading this post and feeling like I’ve forgotten you? Or, reading this post and feeling like I’ve never even met you? Link your wares in the comments, and I’ll be sure to add you to the floggery.

Here There Be Updates:

Nazi Revenge

Donald Duck as a NaziNazis: the villain so evil they’re practically a cartoon.

This Daily Mail article is full of details that even school-aged children would find hard to believe.

The MI5 files show that four German agents arrested in northern France in March 1945 revealed the range of poisons developed by Nazi scientists, including:

  • Special cigarettes which would give the smoker a headache. At this point the spy would offer an ‘aspirin’ tablet that was in fact poison and would kill within ten minutes.

  •  An exploding ‘pastille’ to be left on tables that would explode if it came into contact with a wet glass – blinding anyone nearby with glass shards.

  • A powder impregnated with poison to be placed on surfaces such as door handles, books and desks.

  • Another powder that could be dusted on to food by waiters that would cause death if swallowed but not if inhaled.

  • A tiny pellet to be dropped into an ashtray which, when heated up by burning cigarette ash, gave off a vapour that would kill anyone nearby

The problem, of course, is that I don’t believe in evil as a concept. People can be mislead, or flat out wrong, but I don’t think they do it because they love to rub their hands together and chuckle at other people’s misfortune: they do it because they believe they are in the right.

If a Nazi places an exploding candy on a desk, it’s naturally considered depraved – if James Bond does it, it’s considered for the opening sequence to one of his lesser ’70s-era films.

From the same article:

‘The buckle is about 1inch x 2.5ins. The cover drops down and by pushing a button a pistol flips out, pointing directly to the front. By means of pressing more buttons, the weapon can fire shots. If a person stood directly in front of the buckle he would be shot.’

Belt Buckle Gun from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1373037/Killer-sausages-Nazis-plotted-fight-losing-war.html

If there’s anything inherently insidious about this device, it’s that, since it’s being fired from belt level, it’s likely to land in some pretty tender territory.

[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jts0xxg7P8I]

With so many clever death-dealing devices, why don’t we see treachery in every Oktoberfest?

The truth is, we didn’t defeat the Nazis via mechanical devices, or tanks, or trick chemistry. It didn’t just happen on the beaches of Normandy, or in the streets of Berlin, it happened in the decades that followed – in assisting in the funding and rebuilding of German society.

I realize this may sound like obvious wisdom to most, but I think many today have fixed in their mind the cartoon ideal of the heavy-booted trooper, and have forgotten that it was kindness, not combat, which meant that World War II didn’t end like World War I: with simmering tensions and an inevitable flareup.

It’s a lesson we need to take to heart when considering why the popular vision of a “terrorist” is a dark-skinned fellow from the Middle East, and not a light-skinned fellow from Munich.

Wheels Of Cheese

Mammoth Cheese

The Cheshire Mammoth Cheese was a gift from the town of Cheshire, Massachusetts to President Thomas Jefferson in 1802. The cheese was created by combining the milk from every cow in the town, and made in a makeshift cheese press to handle the cheese’s size. The cheese bore the Jeffersonian motto “Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.”

I’ve long complained that we don’t apply enough pomp and circumstance to our eating habits. Everything else on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs maintains some mysticism or grandiosity, but those who handle or dispense our food are often some of the lowest paid people in society.

You could point at high priced restaurants/foodies/celebrity chefs as proof to the contrary, but go ask the farmer who supplies the produce, or the grocery store clerk who stocks it, or even the waiter who denies the temptation to spit into it as it moves towards your table, and you’ll likely find someone making a barely livable wage.

The final product weighed between 1200 and 1600 pounds, was four feet wide, and fifteen inches thick. Due to its size, it could not safely be transported on wheels, so the town hired a sleigh to bring it to Washington, D.C. during the snowy winter months. With Leland steering the sleigh, the three week, 500 mile trip became an event from town to town as word spread about the gift.

Cereal Offenders

Captain CrunchWant yet another reason why people can’t take crop circles seriously?

cereologist (plural cereologists)
Noun
Someone who studies crop circles, especially one who believes that they are not man-made or formed by other terrestrial processes.

I understand that they were attempting to create an association with Ceres, the Roman goddess of agriculture, but, well – if you’re going to attempt to give your outlandish hobby a science-y name, might I suggest something that doesn’t make you sound like a Boo Berry inspector?

Sonny The Cuckoo