Episode #100
Implication #2:

Implication #2:

Welcome to Flash Pulp, Episode Ninety-Eight.
Tonight we present Up From The Depths: a Blackhall Tale, Part 1 of 1
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp098.mp3]Download MP3
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This week’s episodes are brought to you by the art of Michael Mongello
Have you always wanted a scantily clad Star Wars character hanging around your office?
Now you can have multiple!
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Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.
Tonight, Thomas Blackhall, master frontiersman and student of the occult arts, encounters a town of shambling monstrosities.
Flash Pulp 098 – Up From The Depths: a Blackhall Tale, Part 1 of 1
Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May
The summer previous to his final migration westward, Thomas received word that his assistance was required at a mining operation in the sparsely populated northern stretch of Lower Canada.
The man who sought him out had heard of his reputation as it slipped from ale-heavy mouth to whiskey-sodden ear, and his distrust of the nature of Blackhall’s business was obvious as he made his request.
“You’ve dealt with the other-worldly before?” was the man’s abrupt opening.
It wasn’t his habit to answer the question openly, but the sling which held the interrogator’s right arm had piqued Thomas’ interest.
“On occasion.”
“I’ve been to the church, and they have no interest in what I have to say.” As the man spoke, his animated gestures sent gushes of barley brew to the inn’s floor. “It’s hell they opened in that mine to the north, and I expect someone better close it before it tears the world asunder.”
“It’s my understanding that it takes something more than a shovel to reach the devil’s playground,” replied Thomas, “but, first, might I inquire as to your name?”
“I apologize. My name is Teasdale, but the Englishman is what they called me these last ten months. Not so much based on my port of departure, but because I was the only anglo on a site full of francos.”
“What leads you to believe a group of earth diggers has opened the maw of the nether realm?”
“Until recently I was camp cook at a small iron operation to the north. Two dozen men and a whip cracker of a foreman. We were working a fresh shaft when I was sent southwards to gather the groceries, but upon my return I found the site in chaos. The tents and shanties had been knocked about as if hit by a storm, and the boys -” the grip which held his mug of lager began to tremble. “The fellas were on hand, but they were not the men I knew when I left.”
“What difference did you notice?” asked Blackhall.
“When I first arrived I saw a few of them wandering about, almost as if in a trance. It was only once I’d gotten closer that I noticed their stuttering walks and contorted faces. They – their limbs were muck covered, and as they approached a groaning gibberish emanated from their mouths.”
Teasdale smacked his dry mouth, then quickly wet it from his cup.
He continued.
“I’d no sooner stepped into his sight than I was rushed by Old Tim Steiner, a man I’ve passed many hours with over cards. It was he who chased me from the parcel, and it was during that flight in which I stumbled. A bad break, and still I made the travel in record time, even though I only thought to lighten my load of the provisions upon the second day.”
His damaged arm seemed to have little slowed his off-hand’s drinking.
Thomas raised an eyebrow.
“You doubt me, sir?” the former kitchen-master asked. “I do not make my assumptions in haste. There was no recognition in the eyes of Steiner – nor in any of the others which I noted as they gathered at Old Tim’s gibberish calls. If you’d but seen his ragged march or distorted countenance, you’d have no room for skepticism.” He spit on the floor. “Demon possessed, the bloody lot of them.”
* * *
So it was, after eight day’s rugged journey, that Blackhall found himself set high in a birch, observing the a cluster of men as they rummaged about the remnants of the camp’s structures. As he watched, a filth-encrusted man, of some girth, tottered towards the shattered lumber of a former shed, shoving aside the smaller man who’d long been hunkered there listlessly stirring the rubble.
Across a branch adjoining his perch, Thomas had carefully laid out the tools necessary to sustain fire if his Baker rifle became the only option. He had yet to cock his weapon.
At the crossing of dirt paths that would have constituted the site’s major intersection, a pair of legs lay unmoving, partially obscured behind a cold pile of cinders.
As he shifted his weight for a better vantage point, the tree limb beneath his left boot groaned and gave way. Although quick footwork saved him from any peril, the snapping did not go unheeded by the shambling men below.
The nearest, possibly Old Tim himself, speared Blackhall with a finger, then began to stagger in his direction.
His enthusiastic tones roused all surrounding, and shortly Thomas’ roost was encircled by a cluster of men – some with still bloody wounds, but all ensconced in grime – and yet the frontiersman did not put his rifle to bare upon them, nor unsheathe the silver-bladed sabre which was his usual retort to circumstances of the supernatural.
He understood now why Teasdale had felt such fear at their nearing; their manner seemed not like that of sane men, instead it was as if their higher faculties had suffered grievously.
It was then that he realized many in the group were, in low and mangled french, requesting assistance.
Slinging his rifle, Blackhall descended. Within moments he was distributing what rations remained in his pack.
* * *
By late afternoon,Thomas had begun to form a plan to rescue those of the men that he might. He could little guess what had happened in Teasdale’s absence, but he felt certain it was unlikely to be related to the preternatural.
In his review of the ruins, he found the still smoldering fire whose plume had helped him locate his destination, and yet now he was uncertain as to which, if any, of the mine’s survivors might have had the wits to light such a thing. They seemed docile enough once fed, but their speech was limited to even simpler phrases than Blackhall’s french would allow, and they held no answers as to what had transpired. What he had also found was a lack of food – what little might have been left after Teasdale’s departure was long consumed.
Although the bones of wild game scattered about did leave him to wonder.
* * *
Well before he was forced to implement his desperate plan, answers arrived at the freshly stoked fireside, in the form of a limping Francophone by the name of Joseph. He’d approached with a double handful of partridge, and as the entirety of the camp had gathered in a circle about the fire, he quickly cleaned and set the fowl to spit.
Later, as they all licked the bird fat from their fingers, the newcomer finally ceased the delighted prattle he’d maintained as he worked, and delved into a deeper explanation.
“I was Teasdale’s assistant, and out getting berries up the hill when it happened – trying to stretch supplies, you understand. There was a sound from the throat of the shaft, like a belch, and a smell as if a musty hell, and then I collapsed. I do not know how much time might have passed while I slept, but it was dark when I rose. Everyone else had been closer than I, and most of them were still scattered about the ground. When my head was clear enough, I went down to find whoever I could.”
The storyteller paused in his tale, the idiot faces of his compatriots eager for him to continue the story they could little understand.
“After they all woke up, I realized how they were. Who knows how long they were breathing the released vapour – it crippled their minds. I knew it was up to me to get them south, so I went hunting, to find enough meat to carry us. Although the first day I came back I managed to keep them together, on the second one of them went searching in the buildings, with a flaming branch to act as a torch. He burnt down part of the bunks, and when I saw how black the smoke was, I came. I managed to get most of them, all except Pascal, away from the dynamite hut before it was too late.”
Thomas passed across his canteen, freshly filled at the nearby river, and Joseph drank heartily before continuing.
“I was trying to reach him when it exploded. That’s how my leg was crippled, a condition which has made it impossible for us to make our escape. At least the blast put out the flames.”
The conversation waned for a time before Blackhall ended the hush.
“Tomorrow I will do the hunting – after I have a looked over your trauma.”
Within the fire, a knot popped, throwing sparks against the night sky.
Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm. The audio and text formats of Flash Pulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.
Our recent move has given me an opportunity to once again consider the manner of decoration in my office. I’m really liking the Zombie Attack vinyl decal pictured above, available via the Lil Decal Shoppe, but I think I’d be more enthusiastic if each zombie was its own decal.
On the other hand, LTL Prints’ massive Mars Attacks wall vinyls, although expensive, look beautiful.


This is another quick snap from the road that I meant to post up the other day.
I think they’re telling me not to explode while filling up?
When I see stick-person signage, I always have to wonder about the person who created it. Are they an aspiring artist who just hasn’t made it yet? Do they sit down to work thinking “Yes! Today I get to do the explosion logo”?
Did the original version of this warning involve severed limbs, only to have some editorial overlord ask the enthusiastic creator to dial it back a bit?
G’morning.
It’s Wednesday, and I needed a little energy boost, so I pulled out this classic.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFlcqWQVVuU]
That we could all be so enthusiastic.

Nuts – we’ve lost another Hammer Horror alumni, and cult figure from the ’70s horror scene.
From the BBC:
[…]
She added that she wanted her mother to be remembered as the Countess Dracula with the “wonderful teeth and the wonderful bosom”.
Official Hammer historian Marcus Hearn paid tribute to the star, calling her a “talented actress and fine writer”.
He added: “She was partly responsible for ushering in a bold and brazen era of sexually explicitly horror films in the 1970s, but that should not denigrate her abilities as an actress.”
A good friend of the actress, Mr Hearn said she was “gloriously uninhibited” and “great fun to be with”.
The horrorati can complain about the down turn that Hammer took in the ’70s, but it’s my personal opinion that the Hammer legacy we have today wouldn’t have survived as strongly as it has if not for the schlock they put out during that decade.

We’re rapidly approaching episode 100, which has me quite excited. While every story hasn’t been exactly what I’d like it to be, I do take some satisfaction in having written over 100,000 words in the last seven months.
I’m hoping to make #100 something a little extra special by introducing a new series into the mix – tales from another apocalypse.
No worries, however, as Ruby won’t be ending: she’s just going to have to share the post-“collapse of human society” space with a new cast of characters, and a cataclysm which, to the best of my knowledge*, fiction has never quite encountered before.
I’ll be teasing it all the way till next Monday, so watch this space.
Implication #1:

*A free Flash Pulp sticker to the first person who proves me wrong.
I understand the want, and need, to move away from testing weaponry on things that are actually alive, but, in some cases, what alternative do we have?
Enter robotics firm Midwest Research Institute (with a little assistance from our favourite terror-machine creators, Boston Dynamics).
From Polijam.com
KANSAS CITY, Mo., Nov. 18 (UPI) — A humanoid robotic mannequin for testing equipment against chemical warfare agents is being developed by Missouri’s Midwest Research Institute.
Great, some sort of robo-mannequin is a much better solution that gassing rabbits – right? At first this sounded, to me, like an advanced version of the crash test dummy, Buster, from Mythbusters.
“The IPEMS features a chemical-agent test facility — exposure chamber and supporting structures — and a free-standing, self-balancing robot that simulates human physiology,” said MRI Senior Vice President and Director of Research Operations Thomas M. Sack. “Once complete, the mannequin, dressed in IPE, can be tested using a variety of environmental conditions and simulated warfighter activities in the presence of chemical agent. – more
Something about the statement “free-standing, self-balancing robot that simulates human physiology” has me feeling a little weird about this experiment. How far do we need to go to replicate human physiology and reaction in case of chemical attack?
Will this mannequin’s nose run and eyes water when sarin gas hits its simulated face?
Will it provide verbal feedback as to its current situation? Will it ask you to “please stop”?
Would you be willing to push the “initiate test” button on something that could?

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Welcome to Flash Pulp, Episode Ninety-Seven.
Tonight we present Ruby Departed: Crash, Part 1 of 1
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp097.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)
This week’s episodes are brought to you by the art of www.SuperMonge.com
Have you ever seen jungle vixens fighting the evils of the lord of the undead, Dracula?
Well, now you can.
Find Monge’s work, as well as prints to purchase, at http://www.supermonge.com
Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.
Tonight, Ruby relates a short tale of love and loss.
Flash Pulp 097 – Ruby Departed: Crash, Part 1 of 1
Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May



Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm. The audio and text formats of Flash Pulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.
As a follow-up to my earlier post about the Ninja Turtles vs Kim Jong-il, I present the following state-produced musical interlude.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7G_ZgbBzJ4]
Note: when making my propaganda video, I demand the following ridiculous claims.
