MMR Vaccine & Autism

This comic is a fantastic overview of the “Mumps, Measles, & Rubella Vaccine Vs. Autism” situation.

Wakefield & MMR

It’s my feeling that a lot of the needle-hysteria that went around during last winter’s H5N1 scare was born out of the paranoia that Wakefield and his followers have fostered – if it hasn’t happened already, it’s just a matter of time before this kind of Luddism gets some sick kid killed.

Even if you don’t know anything about the issue, I encourage you to check out the piece: consider it a mental vaccination against a particularly vicious strain of bunko.

(A tip o’ the bowler to forgetomori for the original link.)

Barbarian Arithmetic

Yesterday’s post got me thinking on the funny books of my youth.

When I was a kid, I used to pick up a lot of the magazine-sized Conan comics. I loved the gritty black and white art, and the general swashbuckling, but somewhere between thirteen and sixteen I came to realize that Conan’s largest problem year-after-year wasn’t actually the dark magic of Thoth-Amon, it was math.

The Savage Sword Of Conan

In the earliest issues, every fight was a concern. Conan fighting two people at once involved a lot of ornate cussing and some doom-talk from the narrator. The problem was, just as with televisions, there was nowhere to go but up: three, four, five people at once – his enemies began to look less like swordsmen and more like angry soccer teams comprised of late-’80s WWF wrestlers.

If the books are still running, I have to assume by now his enemies are facing him in lengthy, easy to trim, rows – or feasibly they march along in single file as Conan cranks a comically over-sized meat grinder.

Flash Pulp 021 – Character

Welcome to Flash Pulp, Episode Twenty-One.

Tonight’s story, Character, Part 1 of 1

Flash Pulp[audio:http://media.libsyn.com/media/skinner/FlashPulp021.mp3](Click play to listen or subscribe via libsyn RSS or iTunes)

Download MP3

This episode is brought to you by Maytunes.com

Every time you visit, a kitten smiles.

That’s Maytunes.com

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – 400 to 600 words brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

This evening we present to you a thriller on the nature of backgrounds, and the lives lived in them.

Flash Pulp 021 – Character, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

McGillicuddy had been running The General Store since his father, Pop McGillicuddy, had fallen dead at the register.

Everyone in the area had agreed, in solemn tones, that it was how he would have wanted it. Privately, the junior McGillicuddy often wondered if the old man might have had a few more years if he hadn’t been surrounded by Hershey’s bars and beef jerky.

Still, his Mother had had him up on a stool hocking smokes before Pop’s socks were cold, and he’d remained behind the counter for the majority of the fifty-seven years since.

It was now a warm May Friday, and he was passing across a green pack of menthols while attempting to place the two couples who’d entered together.

“Out of towners? You look like one of the Merkel kids though – maybe one of Mary Merkel’s?” he asked the lamp-jawed twenty-one year old who’d stepped up to pay for his girlfriend’s habit.

“Yeah, Mom, er Mary Platt after she married Dad, but I guess Mary Merkel when you knew her, she actually died five years ago. Last week though, I get this call from the attorney who handles the estate, and he says that Granny Merkel also passed, leaving me the farm.” The boy held out a twenty. “I didn’t have much better to do this weekend, so I figured we’d drive out to see if it was worth selling.”

“Huh,” the old man said.

He’d long considered the people both the best and worst part of manning the counter in such a rural area. He often found himself gumming the day away with the same friends he’d had since grade-school, but, as the only gas for thirty miles, he just as often found himself dealing with the same handful of local miscreants week-after-week.

The Merkels were largely regarded as a bunch of ruffians, but he’d never had trouble with the old woman, who’d come in weekly to buy her lotto numbers.

“Your Gran was a good lady. Don’t remember much about your Ma, though I’m sorry to hear she’s gone.” He handed back some change.

The boy nodded, his short friend stepping up to the counter and laying down a five while shaking his bag of Ringolos.

When all debts were settled, the group cleared out, lamp-jawed Platt tossing McGillicuddy a wave.

As the bell above the door rang their exit, the old man took up his paper, returning to the tale of Nelson Miller’s prize catch.

* * *

When dusk began to settle on the horizon, McGillicuddy stepped out into the heat, broom in hand. In recent years he’d found it tougher to spot the candy wrappers and soda cans that built up along the edges of the small patch of pavement, so he’d taken to heading out a might earlier than his father had, to ensure a pristine lot.

The hum of motors in the distance brought him to a halt, his hands resting atop the worn handle.

A black SUV roared by, its horn blaring – seconds later a battered white van followed, the noise of its engine nearly blotted out by the music that flooded from its open windows.

McGillicuddy recognized the van, but couldn’t place it. Guessing the hooligans were off to Fiddler’s Tavern over in Barkley, he shook his head and reflected on a time when cars were unsafe enough that those sorts of problems resolved themselves.

He lifted the broom and began wrangling a large pile of Werther’s foils that Bill Johnson had likely turned out from his truck’s cup holder. Dumping the full dustpan into the nearby trash barrel, McGillicuddy recalled that Bill was just as careless with his childhood Hubba Bubba wrappers.

“It’s always the same miscreants,” he muttered.

* * *

He was counting the till when the lamp-jawed inheritor re-entered.

McGillicuddy was startled by the arrival; he hadn’t heard an engine pull up.

The boy had pushed the entrance open with great effort, staggering down the aisle with one hand sliding along the magazine shelf for support. His legs seemed to be causing him trouble, as if they were rapidly increasing in weight.

“Cuz-,” he said, collapsing sideways.

As he fell, his flailing arm caught a wire rack full of Doritos. A red, orange and green avalanche buried him on the floor.

McGillicuddy stood a moment.

The lump of snacks remained still.

The old man’s hand went to the phone, but a second interruption came slamming through the door.

It was the mousy girl that the Platt boy had been holding by the waist earlier in the day. She had none of her boyfriend’s lack of energy as she came running at the counter.

As she attempted to speak, her throat would allow only a series of soft clicks. Her face and shirt were soaked with tears and sweat.

She swallowed hard and once again opened her mouth to speak – a spray of vomit drenched the counter’s transparent scratch-ticket display instead.

McGillicuddy did hear an engine then, the store’s glass door gleaming with the approaching headlights.

His newest paralysis broken, the old man once again reached for the phone, but as he did so, he glanced out the window to size up his latest customer.

It was Cindy Merkel’s boy, he realized, finally placing the ratty white van. He hadn’t seen that delinquent much since Gran Merkel had passed, and Sheriff Blair had been forced to set Deputies Jelly and Cameron on putting him out of the old woman’s house.

The tall youth stepped down from the running board, and pulled a goat mask over his eyes.

It was his only attire.

Reaching behind the driver’s seat, Goat-head pulled forth a red handled wood axe.

McGillicuddy was hypnotized watching the streaker stride across the lot. A high pitched tone began to drift from the girl’s throat as a greasy hand pushed open the door. She began to scramble over her own half digested Big Mac and Coke, in an attempt to find safety.

The old man dropped the phone receiver, grabbing the girl’s arm and pulling her over the sick.

Goat-head, the Merkel kid, approached with an even stride, the axe head slick with scarlet liquid.

“Always the same miscreants,” McGillicuddy said, his father’s double-barrel clearing the counter.

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm. The audio and text formats of Flash Pulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Diving For 3D Dollars

I have to admit: I’m not usually terribly impressed with shipwreck-dive movies.

As a general rule I love ruins, and I’m always drawn in by the opening moments of ethereal stillness, but it doesn’t take a lot of barnacle encrusted video before I’m zoning out.

I think that’ll change when we can send down the technology to generate a detailed 3D model of a wreck interior.

Why spend long hours, and risk multiple trips into the freezing depths of the sea, when you can scan it once and explore for days from the comfort of your office chair?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKcpmo4pwRg]

Flash Pulp 020 – Mulligan Smith and The Long Ride

Welcome to Flash Pulp, Episode Twenty.

Tonight’s story, Mulligan Smith and The Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

Flash Pulp[audio:http://media.libsyn.com/media/skinner/FlashPulp020.mp3](Click play to listen or subscribe via libsyn RSS or iTunes)

Download MP3

This episode is brought to you by Flash Pulp on iTunes.

If Steve Jobs didn’t think Flash Pulp was fantastic, would he allow it to be listed in iTunes?

We don’t think so.

Find Flash Pulp on iTunes via the in-program search, or try this link.

Remember: Steve Jobs may have implied it was a good idea.

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – 400 to 600 words brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

This evening we follow Mulligan Smith as he navigates the tangled streets of Capital City while attempting to deliver a passenger.

Flash Pulp 020 – Mulligan Smith and The Long Ride, Part 1 of 1

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

The Tercel was crowded at the best of times, a garage sale’s worth of randomness spread across the baby blue backseats. Smith and the girl had spent ten minutes in animated discussion at the brightly lit menu, but it was only once they’d reached the window itself that Mulligan realized the drink holders were already occupied by a pair of abandoned coffees.

As the highschool girl working the register watched on, passenger and driver both broke into a flurry of nervous activity – the PI craning to check the backseat’s cup holder, the woman attempting to roll down her window by hand in an effort to eject the old drinks. She was having difficulty however, and a giggle escaped her lips even as her frown deepened.

She switched hands, but she overcompensated, and another tug snapped the black and chrome crank at its base. The sound interrupted Mulligan, who’d been explaining that the window had long ceased to function properly.

His passenger started to cry then, dangling the wreckage from her calloused fingers.

Behind them the balding man in the white Buick SUV, aware only that his whopper was probably getting cold, hammered out two bleats of his horn.

The girl with the headset lifted the tray of drinks and thrust them into the car. Mulligan decided to simply leave the trash cups on the steel sill, accepted the large paper bag with rapidly blooming grease spots, and nosed the Tercel out of the drive-through lane, before halting between two yellow lines in the emptiest corner of the parking lot.

He reached out his arm, attempting to encircle the woman, but the gear shift began to dig into his hip. She didn’t seem to register his efforts anyhow, so he sank back, letting the engine idle.

The radio gurgled at a respectfully low tone.

As she regained her composure, her eyes wandered the dash. Mulligan, realizing he might finally be of some use, reached into the bag, pulling forth a sheaf of brown napkins.

The woman plucked the topmost from the pile, smearing tears and makeup into the blue and yellow logo.

As she snorted loudly, he gently pulled the crank from her hand, tossing it amongst the ruins on the rear bench. He also took a moment to rip the stapled receipt from the bag, partially tucking it under the pristine floor mat behind the passenger seat, surrounded by dozens of its cousins.

Her tears were easing, and she raised an eyebrow at him – even in her haste to enter the vehicle, she’d noticed the collection.

“For tax purposes. All my on-the-job receipts go in the pile, and once a year I clean out the car.”

She nodded, still dabbing at the corner of her eyes.

He reversed out of the lot then, drifting into the anonymity of late night traffic.

The woman spent the journey with her eyes fixed on her window, inspecting each passing car and pedestrian. The city slid by – offices, sidewalks, bus stops, apartment buildings, townhouses.

Eventually they found themselves maneuvering the twisted streets of a suburb.

The car finally came to a stop in front of a large two story house, its porch entrance set well back, a trim line of hedges providing privacy from the street. An array of stark white bulbs lit the grass like the noonday sun.

The woman stepped from the car, bending to gather her small cloth bag. She attempted to speak, but all that came out was “Thuk”.

Instead, she unthinkingly extended her right hand to Mulligan, who gently took it before she could realize and pull away.

After a long moment the heavy gray door that fronted the house swung open, a large woman with a precise haircut stepping out onto the porch and eying the pair as she lit a smoke.

Mulligan let go.

“They’re waiting for you. Beth is great,” he motioned towards the interloper. “It’ll be OK. Call me tomorrow and let me know how you’re settling in.”

His client stood, cradling her wrist. As she hobbled along the stone-paved path, the fresh cast reflected the yard’s harsh light.

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm. The audio and text formats of Flash Pulp are released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.