Jim Bridger, Mountain Man

I’m sick, so I thought I’d follow up on some notes I’d left myself to check out.

Maybe the most interesting:

Bridger had a remarkable sense of humor and he especially loved to shock tenderfeet and easterners with his tall tales. He would tell of glass mountains, “peetrified” birds singing “peetrified” songs, and reminisce about the days when Pikes Peak was just a hole in the ground. These stories were related in such a serious manner as to fool even skeptics into believing them, making Jim’s laughter all the louder when his ruse was revealed.

All of these attributes served Bridger well, and made him adaptable to just about every situation he found himself in. By the end of his lifetime, Bridger could claim the titles of trapper, trader, guide, merchant, Indian interpreter and army officer. –Mountain Men

At first I wasn’t sure if Bridger was a real fellow, I picked up his name from a brief mention by LT. Aldo Raine in Inglourious Basterds. Although Bridger had impressive true stories to tell, I find his tall tales pretty brilliant:

Supposedly one of Bridger’s favorite yarns to tell to greenhornswas about being pursued by one hundred Cheyenne warriors. After being chased for several miles, Bridger found himself at the end of a box canyon, with the Indians bearing down on him. At this point, Bridger would go silent, prompting his listener to ask, “What happened then, Mr. Bridger?” Bridger would reply, “They kilt me.” – Wikipedia

Human Targets

It seems to me there’s been a lot of commercial time dedicated to the new Fox Human Target series.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg7Yv3aWc8w]

I’ll be frank, it looks quite a bit like a standard contemporary spy-thriller TV show.

You know what was way better? Human Target (1992).

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b7JrOj6HAc]

He had a flying wing!
He had a machine that could give him any face!
He was Rick “Jessie’s Girl” Springfield!

Ke$ha on Conan

I was introduced to Ke$ha by last night’s Conan O’Brien. In case you missed it:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbMWaNKWrN4]

Of course I was outraged, it’s obvious that the entire setup is a rip off of a famous act from the late 1980s.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMKT0gGEBJQ]

Georges Cuvier, Devil Fighter

Cuvier, Georges (1769-1832) – French comparative anatomist who is considered the founder of functional anatomy, which maintains that the knowledge of structure acquires meaning only when the purpose is known. His study of comparative anatomy allowed him to draw conclusions about one part of an organism from investigating other parts. A famous story tells how his students dressed up in a devil’s costume and woke up Cuvier in the middle of the night, chanting “Cuvier, Cuvier, I have come to eat you.” Reportedly, Cuvier opened his eyes, remarked “All creatures with horns and hooves are herbivores. You can’t eat me,” and went back to sleep.  – more

I need to get me a nifty legend.

People Of The Future

It seems to me, given the abundance of high caloric menu items these days, that the people most fit to survive are the people who take in the least number of those calories, and expel as much of the junk as possible*.

Is the person of tomorrow a lean,  mean, pooping machine?

(*Although this may seem like a very Western-biased mindset, it is my pretty depressing belief that even the most starving nation will one day find itself awash in twinkies and pizza pockets.)

New Year's Maintenance Notes

I haven’t been posting any Functional Friday info lately, mostly due to baby and holiday madness.

I haven’t been useless though, I’ve been attempting to putty in the stray moments with writing, a process which is actually going fairly well. I’ve had to toss the idea of the serial as it stood – I still believe it’s a great idea, but I don’t think I have enough ignition-point eyeballs to make it work. If I happen to get some people clustered around me who care from the get go it might fly, but without that support it might just come across as too messy to get into.

I still have plans to generate some kind of serial project, just not the one I’ve been working at the last couple of months. More info on this when my brain provides some.

In the mean time I’ve been working on another piece, lets call it Project: Lukas & Nan, and it’s chugging along nicely. A bit pulpy, but sometimes that’s how I like it. It’s approximately 2.5% done. That may not sound like much, but Rome, yadda yadda.

(Also, Jessica May has an interesting theory about Tiger Woods and his Dad, if she ever gets around to posting it.)

Rhinestone Shades or Cheap Sunglasses


Anyone watching the ball drop in Times Square yesterday probably saw some version of these glasses – a variation on a long standing tradition. The 200Xs were a boom time for novelty new year’s glasses, a boom we’ll not see again for a long time, at least not unless they can work some Kanye styled magic for 2011.

In fact, the teens may be the roughest patch the industry has seen since the mid-1970s*.

My suggestion? Invest in novelty hats.

* This is actually a lie, the industry wasn’t even around until the early ’90s. You can read more about it here, or at your local library.