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Quick Poke

Bird on a limb
I attempt to keep maintenance posts to a minimum, but my week of brutal kung-fu fighting continues, and I wanted to check in to suggest you take another shake at the Flash Pulp Wiki. It’s slowly filling out, but it could definitely use your help.

We’d certainly appreciate it.

Oh – while I’ve ensnared your fantastic eyes, might I also coax you drop us a line for this Sunday’s FlashCast? Text or mp3s can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or call our voicemail box at (206) 338-2792.

Flash Pulp 141 – The Murder Plague: Community, Part 1 of 3

Welcome to Flash Pulp, episode one hundred and forty-one.

Flash Pulp

Tonight we present, The Murder Plague: Community, Part 1 of 3
(Part 1Part 2 – Part 3)
[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashPulp141.mp3]Download MP3
(RSS / iTunes)

 

This week’s episodes are brought to you by The Ladies Pendragon.

Find out more about their Pendragon Variety Podcast at http://pendragonvariety.com/

 

Flash Pulp is an experiment in broadcasting fresh pulp stories in the modern age – three to ten minutes of fiction brought to you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.

Tonight, Harm Carter encounters a new obstacle to remaining alive in a world dominated by a homicidal epidemic.

 

Flash Pulp 141 – The Murder Plague: Community, Part 1 of 3

Written by J.R.D. Skinner
Art and Narration by Opopanax
and Audio produced by Jessica May

 

The exhaustion from my initial foray into Murder-Plague survival was overwhelming, and, when sleep finally found me, I was out like a college freshman on the opening day of spring break. The rest did me good.

When I awoke, my immediate thought was for my wayward daughter.

I knew Doc Henley, rotting away in his living room, had little use for the Escalade he had once used to putter between his home and his practice, so I stepped into the crisp morning, noted that I had no paper awaiting me on the doorstep, then crossed the street. On my way, I caught a strong whiff of smoke, and had an opportunity to get a sunlit look at the blackened plank-teeth that made up the remnants of the residence five down from my own. I didn’t realize then how lucky I’d been that the place had guttered, instead of sharing its fiery bounty with its neighbors.

I started my search of the doctor’s bungalow by ransacking every room that didn’t contain the man I’d killed, then, once I was sure that it was the only option, I entered his death chamber. His corpse lay across his white leather couch, just as I’d left it, and he put up little fuss as I rifled his personal materials – even when we were forced to become more intimate than I was comfortable with. Now, so long after, I can still tell you with confidence that his keys were in the right-hand pocket of his khaki slacks.

The Murder PlagueThe second excursion was nothing like the first. I’d learned my lesson, and didn’t allow myself to get caught up in the business of others. In truth, while passing the few pedestrians brave, or sick, enough to risk the sidewalks, I had a terrible urge to gun the engine – but I was just as worried that someone might take it as an act of war, and start tossing bullets my way in plague-fueled paranoid-reflex.

It’s also worth mentioning, however, that politeness seemed generally at an all time high, as a survival instinct. There were no tailgaters during Hitchcock’s – or, if there were, they’d been quickly eliminated via unnatural selection.

The house in which my daughter had been squatting was empty when I arrived. I loitered for a while, hoping she’d return, but it was obvious that Becky had taken everything of use and departed. I sat on her borrowed bed for a while, considering the situation.

Had Rebecca left because, somewhere in her infected brain, she knew that I would return, and she didn’t want to be responsible for my death? Or was she lurking, awaiting an opportunity to do me in?

Eventually the thoughts chased me home, where they were immediately displaced by an entirely different set of concerns.

When I’d stepped onto the roadway that morning I’d assumed the tickle at my nose was the smouldering pile down the street – as I approached, this poor reasoning was corrected by a wall of smoke marching out of the west.

I parked the Escalade on the pavement, facing east.

The issue was the wind. The smoke, and the flame, were being carried along by a stiff breeze, and, as I clambered over my rooftop with the garden hose, hoping to dampen things enough to keep my suburban castle safe, the exploding propane tanks of my neighbours’ barbecues provided a sort of “from the lightning till the clap” method of measuring the time I had till the fire was upon me. It was obvious within an hour of my return that the situation was getting out of hand.

As I stood on the soaked shingles, pondering my predicament, Mr Baldy came bursting from his home. Not his real name, of course, but I’d never introduced myself to the family on the side of the house opposite the Hernandezes’. As I raised a hand in greeting, I realized that he was alone – that is, without his wife or trio of sons. In response his own fingers went to a gun tucked into his belt, and it took no further encouragement to send me hurtling to the far side of the peak.

I was pleased when the next sound to reach me was his car starting, and not the clanking of a ladder.

Once he was well gone, I picked up my rubber spout and took stock of my corner of the apocalypse.

The air was getting thick, and dancing red was clearly visible beneath the gouts of black that blanketed the western horizon. Before I could decide it was a good time to follow Baldy’s exit, I noticed a cluster of five, prowling down the road like traumatized cats.

They moved slowly, with a motley array of weaponry in their fists, and their heads were constantly craning about to scan the surrounding doorways.

It says something about how quickly I’d become acclimatized to a terrible situation that I was surprised to see a group of people not occupied with attempting to kill each other.

With Baldy in mind, I damned my idiotic need for company, then bellowed a hello.

 

(Part 1Part 2 – Part 3)

Flash Pulp is presented by http://skinner.fm, and is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Text and audio commentaries can be sent to skinner@skinner.fm, or the voicemail line at (206) 338-2792 – but be aware that it may appear in the FlashCast.

– and thanks to you, for reading. If you enjoyed the story, tell your friends.

General Notice

Statue for Mike, the headless chicken.
In case it wasn’t obvious in the last FlashCast, my week is a little overwhelming, so please bear with me while the site devolves into the sort of random spurting that usually characterizes my weekend output.

On September 10, 1945, farmer Lloyd Olsen […] had his mother-in-law around for supper and was sent […] to bring back a chicken. Olsen chose a five-and-a-half-month-old cockerel named Mike. The axe missed the jugular vein, leaving one ear and most of the brain stem intact.

Despite Olsen’s botched handiwork, Mike was still able to balance on a perch and walk clumsily; he even attempted to preen and crow, although he could do neither. After the bird did not die, a surprised Mr. Olsen decided to continue to care permanently for Mike, feeding him a mixture of milk and water via an eyedropper; he was also fed small grains of corn.

[…]

Mike was on display to the public for an admission cost of 25 cents. At the height of his popularity, the chicken earned US$4,500 per month ($48,000 in 2010 dollars) and was valued at $10,000.

wikipedia

CNN Asks: Trickle Down Make-out.

The news is a little rough lately, so I thought I’d help CNN out by answering some of its non-tragic questions.

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Bad job vs no job: Which is worse?This is really a matter of personal preference: do you prefer toiling at a soul crushing occupation with no reward except further abuse from those above you, or starving to death?

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Who's on Piers Morgan tonight?Largely people who wish they were on Larry King instead.

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Got a question for Cloris Leachman?Oh, heck yes – what was it like to make out with pre-presidential Reagan? (Follow-up: Why do I always confuse you with Phyllis Diller?)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RUufFkv97M]

The Thin Blue Period

Picasso en prison! from flickr - http://www.flickr.com/photos/11669526@N03/2749175441I’ve little time for commentary, but I just stumbled across a fun fact regarding Pablo Picasso – from the wikipedia:

[Poet Guillaume] Apollinaire was arrested on suspicion of stealing the Mona Lisa from the Louvre in 1911. Apollinaire pointed to his friend Picasso, who was also brought in for questioning, but both were later exonerated.

Why has no one created a failed-pilot for a television show revolving around famous painters, falsely accused of art-related crimes, who operate as underground vigilantes in an effort to clear themselves?

I can see it now:

“I’ll run a spatter analysis,” says Jackson Pollock, deploying CSI-style UV lights.

“Maybe it’s just me,” Claude Monet replies, putting on sunglasses, “but I get the impression that this is MURDER. Seriously – look at those colours. Atrocious.”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoPWALM2riQ]

The Big News!

MicrophoneAs announced in last night’s FlashCast, we now have a Flash Pulp Wiki!

Obviously, it’s pretty empty at the moment, but I’ve begun work on a Mulligan article that can be used as a template, so feel free to poke around. If you have a favourite tidbit, please insert it, and I’ll certainly be fussing with it regularly, so keep an eye out.

Perpetual thanks go out to Jim, of The Relic Radio Network, for the space, bandwidth, and effort. If you aren’t already digging into his selections, might I recommend Orson Welles: On The Air, or The Horror?

Also, as a reminder, Flash Pulp will be released on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, this week. You can check out FC011 if you need further explanation!

FlashCast 011 – The Last of Sexaholics Anonymous

FC11 - The Last of Sexaholics Anonymous[audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/skinner/FlashCast011.mp3](Download/iTunes)

Prepare yourself for big news, Kommissar Rex, influences, Harm Carter, the last of Sexaholics Anonymous, and Chia bugs.

Mentions this episode:

Kommissar Rex!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhpaT2EZv04]

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If you have comments, questions or suggestions, you can find us at http://skinner.fm, call our voicemail line at (206) 338-2792, or email us text or mp3s to skinner@skinner.fm.

FlashCast is released under the Canadian Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 2.5 License.

Having Kittens

African Black-Footed Cat

I don’t usually hold with Caturday traditions, but I ran across a new article on science rock-star Betsy Dresser, and her gene bank operations, which I thought was worth mentioning.

(The felines in this post’s photos are African Black-Footed cats, but are not of the litter discussed below.)

The latest rare wildcat kittens at a New Orleans conservation center were born from embryos frozen before Hurricane Katrina.

The two male African black-footed cats are among the world’s smallest felines. They’ll grow to about one-third the size of the average housecat.

http://fremonttribune.com

What caught my eye was the combination of easy transportation/storage, and the fact that these mini-leopards are 1/3rd the size of most housecats.

Fact: people love things that are tiny.

Will the African Black-Footed Cat be the boutique pet of tomorrow? Is this the next step towards genetic engineering for the masses?

Scientists in Omaha, Neb., collected and froze the father’s sperm in 2003. At the Audubon Center for Research of Endangered Species, it was combined in March 2005 with eggs from a black-footed cat in the center’s collection.

The embryos were kept frozen until December. On Dec. 7, the thawed embryo was implanted into a second female black-footed cat. The kittens, which don’t yet have names, were born Feb. 13.

http://fremonttribune.com

Male African Black-Footed Cat sharpens his claws - http://www.wildcatconservation.org/Black-footed-Cats.html