National Geographic Fail
I just discovered there’s a show on the National Geographic Channel called Predator CSI.
It isn’t half as fantastic as my imagination had hoped.
Category: junk thought
Eat it, Cheerios.
I actually first noticed this “Cheerios with the goodness of Cheerios” thing during the final ramble of a commercial.
It seems like a pretty circular argument to me – bug spray, now with the greatness of bug spray?
What does it even mean? Where is this goodness coming from? Have all the Cheerio factory workers been given a series of moral tests to ensure only the most pure are handling the ‘O’s?
Do Cheerios somehow save innocent orphans?
Wait – are they made of innocent orphans?
Meet The New Future, Same As The Old Future
While waiting for the production crew to get their act together, I realized something:
Every famous musician or group with a high amount stylization ends up with a cover band.
Rhinestone jumpsuits, mop-top hair, and even white gloves worn with ridiculously over-zippered leather jackets – these may be the hallmarks of today’s cover bands, but what of tomorrow’s?
How long until impersonators in pants-less Queen Elizabeth outfits start singing “Poker Face” to beer fueled crowds at small town Summerfests?
Like the young Elvis/old Elvis debate, will there be both pre- and post-crack Whitney Houston imitators?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmrW-am182w]
Obituaries
I was poking around for examples of online death notices the other day, and came across this Cleburne News page:
I fully understand the important social role that the obituaries play, both in their original paper format, and in their new online incarnation.
I get why people might like the ability to add comments to an individual obit, it strikes me as a good place for people to leave remembrances and anecdotes.
I still think adding a ‘Thumbs Up’ option is pretty harsh.
Dear IMDB
My Dearest IMDB,
Why don’t you have a profile picture for Clive Revill?
The man played the lead in The Legend Of Hell House!
You seriously can’t do a little poking around to find a picture for the original Emperor Palpatine?
Your Mother and I are very disappointed in you,
JRD
Free Stickers
Just wanted to point out that the good people at Sticker Robot are giving away free “Prosecute” stickers, if you send in a SASE.
Even if you don’t feel that strongly about BP, [monster], you could slice them into PROSE and CUTE stickers.
I’m going to fire off an envelope Monday, so expect to hear about this again.
Undead Danson
This is the only image I could locate of seaweed-covered, zombie Ted Danson. I’m sure further pictures must be somewhere on the web, but I can’t find them.
There seem to have been a few locations they were formerly available, but they’ve all been removed.
As Ted ages, are they somehow trying to maintain the honour of the Danson estate? Does he buy up copies of “Creepshow” like Jane Fonda supposedly bought up Barbarella?
Is someone on patrol for the sanctity of Sam Malone?
I guess its more likely he’s just a hack actor and no one has bothered to take any screenshots; I have no problem locating dozens of images of him in black-face.
Frankly, I prefer him undead.
Update: Dang, someone ruined the magic by showing me the exact keywords I needed to unlock the Danson zombie horde – ah well, it was a beautiful conspiracy while it lasted.
Dust In The Nuclear Wind
We live in an interesting time of guessing.
Previous to the atomic bomb, science fiction authors were trying to puzzle out how recent developments in nuclear science would effect us. For example, in 1940, Robert A. Heinlein guessed that we might turn uranium into a super weapon and dump radioactive dust on our enemies, making their territory useless (in Solution Unsatisfactory, although I believe he used the idea a couple of times) – I think he can be forgiven for not seeing the a-bomb coming, it was a year before the Manhattan Project had been created.
I believe we’re on our way towards a similar epoch, related to our current energy lust. A combination of personal electronics, and the need to collect and retain greener sources of energy, will push us into a battery\fuel cell revolution.
So – electric cars, sure, but what other opportunities do high powered batteries open up? Independently operating robots? Body-implanted computing? Jetpacks?
I suspect any guesses will appear dusty by the time the future rolls around.
'Av at 'er? Ugh.
This article about an Avatar 3-D pornographic rip-off has been making the rounds:
Hustler announces that its version of the environmentally themed blockbuster will be the company’s highest-budget production to date.
Director James Cameron has seen plenty of parodies of his science fiction film “Avatar”, but porn giant Hustler is the first to offer a take on the mega-blockbuster in three dimensions.
In a weird way, this will be an interesting test – historically, where pornography has gone, technology and art have followed. My money is still on 3D as a passing fad, but who knows, maybe cartoony, three-dimensional genitalia is where the technology really hits its stride.
They’ll need to overcome a major hurdle however: I can’t think of a single decent pun to sexualize the title ‘Avatar’.